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(Chick)   The new Jack Chick comic is essentially a direct attack on Fark   (chick.com) divider line 252
    More: Scary, Jack Chick, Fark  
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16668 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 May 2014 at 8:53 AM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



252 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-05 07:11:33 AM  
This is the same Jesus who went to a week long wedding that went through so much booze he had to perform his first miracle by changing water into top shelf wine.

And served wine at the last supper.

/probably other instances too
 
2014-05-05 07:57:20 AM  
Where did the East End drunk get rotten eggs to throw?

/Hungry Little Whiskey Orphans will be the name of my new band
//GASP! It's Carrie Nation!
 
2014-05-05 08:08:55 AM  
So I'm guessing he's in favor of decriminalizing marijuana, right?  It is a far less addictive, dangerous and harmful drug.
 
2014-05-05 08:13:17 AM  

TheGrayCat: Where did the East End drunk get rotten eggs to throw?

/Hungry Little Whiskey Orphans will be the name of my new band
//GASP! It's Carrie Nation!


Came here to ask this - if they had so many eggs they could spare some to throw then things must have been pretty sweet. Thanks, booze! You've done it again!


enry: This is the same Jesus who went to a week long wedding that went through so much booze he had to perform his first miracle by changing water into top shelf wine.

And served wine at the last supper.

/probably other instances too


A friend of mine married a super-fundy and her explanation was that where the Bible says "wine" it was actually "grape juice" -- but except for that ONE tiny mistranslation every other word in the Bible is the absolute, undisputed Word of God.
 
2014-05-05 08:13:31 AM  
*hic*
 
2014-05-05 08:15:03 AM  
God hates Purim.
 
2014-05-05 08:15:26 AM  
So...where can I get booze for only $5?
 
2014-05-05 08:15:55 AM  
If I were to click a link to a Chick Tract, I think the FARK servers would catch on fire.  THE FIRES OF HELL!!!
 
2014-05-05 08:19:58 AM  
I'd hate to have to go through life being that big an asshole cold sober
 
2014-05-05 08:21:03 AM  
The changing footer ads are glorious
media.chick.com
media.chick.com
media.chick.com
 
2014-05-05 08:28:59 AM  
I tip with Chick Tracts.
 
2014-05-05 08:56:38 AM  
You know he spent that five dollars on Total Fark.
 
2014-05-05 08:59:08 AM  

TheGrayCat: Where did the East End drunk get rotten eggs to throw?


Obama.
 
2014-05-05 08:59:29 AM  
Um.....

No one brought a gun to a Carrie Nation hatchet fight?
 
2014-05-05 09:00:25 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-05 09:00:30 AM  

ChrisDe: You know he spent that five dollars on Total Fark.


I wish he had spent it on booze, instead.
 
2014-05-05 09:00:33 AM  

kxs401: I tip with Chick Tracts.


You must enjoy the flavor of wait staff penis rubbed into your meals
 
2014-05-05 09:03:05 AM  

SecretAgentWoman: So...where can I get booze for only $5?


Just change the "z" in booze to an "n" and add an "s" at the end you have the answer every high school kid has discovered going back a generation
 
2014-05-05 09:04:22 AM  
Mr. Chick is saying, then, that he reveres a criminal vandal?
 
2014-05-05 09:04:45 AM  

OtherLittleGuy: Um.....

No one brought a gun to a Carrie Nation hatchet fight?


Oddly enough, back then, most states didn't have laws that allowed carry, and even those that did disallowed carry in saloons.

Plus, I'm sure that Ms. Nation selected her targets carefully, and she was backed up by others.
 
2014-05-05 09:06:42 AM  
yeah, like i'm going to click on that link
 
2014-05-05 09:07:20 AM  

nekom: So I'm guessing he's in favor of decriminalizing marijuana, right?  It is a far less addictive, dangerous and harmful drug.


Chick is actually  the real deal - I'm pretty sure he would be utterly indifferent as to whether pot was legal under the laws of Man. He would still consider it a sin - specifically, witchcraft.
 
2014-05-05 09:07:52 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: TheGrayCat: Where did the East End drunk get rotten eggs to throw?

/Hungry Little Whiskey Orphans will be the name of my new band
//GASP! It's Carrie Nation!

Came here to ask this - if they had so many eggs they could spare some to throw then things must have been pretty sweet. Thanks, booze! You've done it again!


enry: This is the same Jesus who went to a week long wedding that went through so much booze he had to perform his first miracle by changing water into top shelf wine.

And served wine at the last supper.

/probably other instances too

A friend of mine married a super-fundy and her explanation was that where the Bible says "wine" it was actually "grape juice" -- but except for that ONE tiny mistranslation every other word in the Bible is the absolute, undisputed Word of God.


I know folks who believe this too. It's pretty funny in a way. It's literal and flawless (but only when I want it to be).
 
2014-05-05 09:09:46 AM  
Page took so long to long to load I had to "Irish" up my coffee and now I'm an alcoholic.

Thanks alot, Jack Chick!
 
2014-05-05 09:11:34 AM  
Is the Fark effect destroying the guy's website? Cause it will not load for me, keeps timing out.
 
2014-05-05 09:12:29 AM  

techgeek07: SecretAgentWoman: So...where can I get booze for only $5?

Just change the "z" in booze to an "n" and add an "s" at the end you have the answer every high school kid has discovered going back a generation


boones?
 
2014-05-05 09:12:35 AM  
Mr. Coffee Nerves:

A friend of mine married a super-fundy and her explanation was that where the Bible says "wine" it was actually "grape juice" -- but except for that ONE tiny mistranslation every other word in the Bible is the absolute, undisputed Word of God.

Your friend's wife is full of shiat. Grape juice didn't keep well in first century (and earlier) Middle Eastern climates. Wine did.

I can't stand people who choose to be willfully ignorant. I know hardcore fundamental Southern Baptists who aren't so ridiculous about wine in moderation.
 
2014-05-05 09:13:32 AM  
The "it was grape juice" argument cracks me up.

If you ever want to have fun, use only the technology that would be available in AD 30 and make grape juice, put it in a pot, and try to stop it from becoming wine.
 
2014-05-05 09:13:48 AM  
I don't understand how anyone uses a Chick Tract to convert people. I grew up religious, Catholic, and a total believer. We used to laugh at Chick tracts. They had the most unlikely scenarios. They were written by what seemed to be a moral time traveler from the 1800s. We used to read them together and laugh our asses off. I'm sure if my mother found me reading one she'd throw it away.

How anyone takes a chick tract from someone, reads it, completely buys the bullshiat in it and converts is beyond me.
 
2014-05-05 09:13:52 AM  
What did Jesus teach us about huge, slow-loading graphics on the web?

I think he was against it.
 
2014-05-05 09:14:14 AM  

El_Frijole_Blanco: kxs401: I tip with Chick Tracts.

You must enjoy the flavor of wait staff penis rubbed into your meals


I usually tip after the meal. If you tip with a chick tract before the meal, you must like to live on the edge.
 
2014-05-05 09:15:40 AM  

SuperChuck: techgeek07: SecretAgentWoman: So...where can I get booze for only $5?

Just change the "z" in booze to an "n" and add an "s" at the end you have the answer every high school kid has discovered going back a generation

boones?


I thought I was the only one that was confused by that.   I'm going with "Boobs".

Everyone loves boobs.
 
2014-05-05 09:16:50 AM  

Cerebral Ballsy: I don't understand how anyone uses a Chick Tract to convert people. I grew up religious, Catholic, and a total believer. We used to laugh at Chick tracts. They had the most unlikely scenarios. They were written by what seemed to be a moral time traveler from the 1800s. We used to read them together and laugh our asses off. I'm sure if my mother found me reading one she'd throw it away.

How anyone takes a chick tract from someone, reads it, completely buys the bullshiat in it and converts is beyond me.


The goal is not to save sinners, it's to doom them. A just God could not sentence a person to hell who had never heard the Gospel. But if they hear it and reject it, then the responsibility for their eternal suffering is upon them.
 
2014-05-05 09:19:03 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Cerebral Ballsy: I don't understand how anyone uses a Chick Tract to convert people. I grew up religious, Catholic, and a total believer. We used to laugh at Chick tracts. They had the most unlikely scenarios. They were written by what seemed to be a moral time traveler from the 1800s. We used to read them together and laugh our asses off. I'm sure if my mother found me reading one she'd throw it away.

How anyone takes a chick tract from someone, reads it, completely buys the bullshiat in it and converts is beyond me.

The goal is not to save sinners, it's to doom them. A just God could not sentence a person to hell who had never heard the Gospel. But if they hear it and reject it, then the responsibility for their eternal suffering is upon them.


Unless you're into that predestination stuff.
 
2014-05-05 09:19:35 AM  
media.chick.com

I am at least pleased to observe that Mr. Chick advocates the Christian principle of blaming inanimate objects for one's own criminal actions.
 
2014-05-05 09:20:41 AM  

dittybopper: OtherLittleGuy: Um.....

No one brought a gun to a Carrie Nation hatchet fight?

Oddly enough, back then, most states didn't have laws that allowed carry, and even those that did disallowed carry in saloons.



Back then guns weren't religious icons...
 
2014-05-05 09:21:18 AM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: yeah, like i'm going to click on that link


Why not?  EVERYBODY click on this link!  Let's see how that theocratic totalitarian likes his servers overloaded.

Gonz: The "it was grape juice" argument cracks me up.

If you ever want to have fun, use only the technology that would be available in AD 30 and make grape juice, put it in a pot, and try to stop it from becoming wine.


Well said.  I also like the high fives Jesus got (according to the Gospel of John) for the quality of wine that he turned the water into.  Very hard to explain with the "grape juice" blather.
 
2014-05-05 09:21:45 AM  

enry: This is the same Jesus who went to a week long wedding that went through so much booze he had to perform his first miracle by changing water into top shelf wine.

And served wine at the last supper.

/probably other instances too


Wiki has this  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_in_the_Bible#Drunkenness

Seems the only issue is being drunk, not the actual drinking of wine.
 
2014-05-05 09:22:26 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Cerebral Ballsy: I don't understand how anyone uses a Chick Tract to convert people. I grew up religious, Catholic, and a total believer. We used to laugh at Chick tracts. They had the most unlikely scenarios. They were written by what seemed to be a moral time traveler from the 1800s. We used to read them together and laugh our asses off. I'm sure if my mother found me reading one she'd throw it away.

How anyone takes a chick tract from someone, reads it, completely buys the bullshiat in it and converts is beyond me.

The goal is not to save sinners, it's to doom them. A just God could not sentence a person to hell who had never heard the Gospel. But if they hear it and reject it, then the responsibility for their eternal suffering is upon them.


Lol and here I was thinking all they cared about was money
 
2014-05-05 09:23:01 AM  
I'll read it later as it is loading slower than porn in 1994
 
2014-05-05 09:24:40 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Cerebral Ballsy: I don't understand how anyone uses a Chick Tract to convert people. I grew up religious, Catholic, and a total believer. We used to laugh at Chick tracts. They had the most unlikely scenarios. They were written by what seemed to be a moral time traveler from the 1800s. We used to read them together and laugh our asses off. I'm sure if my mother found me reading one she'd throw it away.

How anyone takes a chick tract from someone, reads it, completely buys the bullshiat in it and converts is beyond me.

The goal is not to save sinners, it's to doom them. A just God could not sentence a person to hell who had never heard the Gospel. But if they hear it and reject it, then the responsibility for their eternal suffering is upon them.


I think it is odd that they simply accept that their god wrote the Bible.  Isn't it just as likely that their devil wrote it? Look at the first two commands to mankind.

1. Be fruitful and multiply.
2. don't eat of the tree of knowledge.

The second command comes so early and basically gives the message that it is deadly to think and you should just blindly do the things in this book.  Then the book goes on to tell you do do loads of evil crap sprinkled in with some decent stuff.

If I were Satan, I'd want people to follow the bible.
 
2014-05-05 09:24:50 AM  
AverageAmericanGuy:
The goal is not to save sinners, it's to doom them. A just God could not sentence a person to hell who had never heard the Gospel. But if they hear it and reject it, then the responsibility for their eternal suffering is upon them.

A just god could not sentence any person to hell.  That's why I'm an agnostic universal reconciliationist.
 
2014-05-05 09:27:59 AM  

Cerebral Ballsy: I don't understand how anyone uses a Chick Tract to convert people. I grew up religious, Catholic, and a total believer. We used to laugh at Chick tracts. They had the most unlikely scenarios. They were written by what seemed to be a moral time traveler from the 1800s. We used to read them together and laugh our asses off. I'm sure if my mother found me reading one she'd throw it away.

How anyone takes a chick tract from someone, reads it, completely buys the bullshiat in it and converts is beyond me.


Well said.

Yeah I don't get it either.  What The Simpsons does in satire, Jack Chick does in earnest.

i.ytimg.com

Jobriath: Whatcha making there, Gravey?

Gravey: It's a pipe bomb, Jobriath. For to blow up Planned Parenthood.

Jobriath: I don't know, Gravey.

Gravey: I'm sick of your lack of faith!
 
2014-05-05 09:28:16 AM  
Didn't want to wait for page to load.

Who the Fark is Jack Chick and why should anyone care about a cartoon?
 
2014-05-05 09:29:21 AM  
 
2014-05-05 09:29:38 AM  

SuperChuck: techgeek07: SecretAgentWoman: So...where can I get booze for only $5?

Just change the "z" in booze to an "n" and add an "s" at the end you have the answer every high school kid has discovered going back a generation

boones?


Yup, the cheapest crap out there.
 
2014-05-05 09:30:04 AM  

jaybeezey: Didn't want to wait for page to load.

Who the Fark is Jack Chick and why should anyone care about a cartoon?


His 'work' was famous here for awhile at least.  We haven't seen one of his tracts get greened in some time, though.  At least not in my recent memory.

Mockworthy, so Farkworthy.
 
2014-05-05 09:30:56 AM  

Wolf892: Actually, I want to invent a new religion. The cult of "Justificationism"

The premise basically boils down to this, you can do anything you want as long as 12 strangers who have no stake in the outcome of your trial can be sold on your justification for your actions.

Example 1.

I killed that man by choking him to death. But I did it because I was so angry after finding out he molested my son. 12 strangers say "yup, we'd do the same thing too, totally justified!" and then you are released.

Example 2. I grabbed that flat screen T.V and ran out of the store because I wanted to watch football in HD this Sunday. 12 strangers say "Sorry, only half of us are football fans and we can't all agree your actions were justified... 30 lashes!

That would be a sweet Religion/system of law.


That girls was walking about without a male relative escort and carrying some high school level books, so me and my buddies threw her down and raped her.

12 stone age mindset idiots in some part of the world: Yup, sounds like what we'd do.  Lets stone her to death for being a harlot now!
 
2014-05-05 09:31:13 AM  
not rebuttal, an amicus brief

/need coffee
 
2014-05-05 09:31:41 AM  
Site farked; comic won't load.  But I can see enough to tell that his site is a store to make a profit off his proselytizing. Just like Jesus did.
 
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