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(The Northern Echo (UK))   First women join Royal Navy's submarine force. There's a seaman joke in there somewhere   ( divider line
    More: Obvious, Royal Navy, Submarine Service, maritime museums, independent review  
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3033 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 May 2014 at 1:11 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
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2014-05-05 05:48:50 AM  
4 votes:
The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:
2014-05-04 11:50:47 PM  
4 votes:
I think women and seamen don't mix.
We know what you think.
2014-05-05 09:27:10 AM  
2 votes:
ving in a submarine hygiene is a joke, 
you don't use shampoo and you don't use soap, 
Down by the bathroom hear the 'tanky' swear: 
"You'd better not waste any water in there!"

On the surface on the bottom or somewhere in between, 
it really doesn't matter if you're dirty or you're clean, 
Able Seaman, Chiefy, the Skipper or the Queen, 
nobody showers in a submarine.

On a diesel boat you've got no water to spare, 
you can't use the shower, stow the beer in there, 
You're oily and grimy for a month or so, 
on 'up-channel-night' to the bathroom you go.

Two basins of water and a pint beer mug, 
get your lagging off and get ready to scrub, 
Put some green jelly on a scratchy pad, 
grit your teeth and start scrubbing like mad.

When you're red as lobster then you're ready to rinse, 
some foo-foo dust will make you smell like a prince 
The last of the water's just enough for your teeth 
so finish up pronto make some room for the Chief.

Next evening at the disco in your sharp civvy clothes, 
every girl around you starts holding her nose, 
For the way that you smell there is no antidote, 
they can tell that you're a sailor on a diesel boat.
2014-05-05 07:09:29 AM  
2 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:

[ image 720x544]

Lt. Lake, you're almost out of uniform.
2014-05-05 03:18:41 PM  
1 vote:
Maybe they just like the shape.
2014-05-05 08:26:13 AM  
1 vote:

"Can you dig it, man?"
2014-05-05 07:59:09 AM  
1 vote:

Betep: BowtoMogul: dittybopper: Dinobot: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:

[ image 720x544]

Lt. Lake, you're almost out of uniform.

I have been told, on good authority, that "Down Periscope" is the most realistic submarine movie ever made.

Its a quirky movie with a pretty good (I almost said great) cast that deserves a sequel.

I remember when it was called Operation Petticoat.


Totally different.

Down Periscope                              Operation Petticoat
--------------                              -------------------
Happens in peace time                       Happens during WWII
No real danger from enemies                 Quite real danger from enemies
Sub is antiquated                           Sub is relatively state-of-the-art
Crew is hand-picked misfits                 Crew is a normal mix
Captain is a "screw-up" like the crew       Captain isn't a "screw-up"
Only female is member of the crew           Females on board aren't crew.
Dick jokes                                  No dick jokes
2014-05-05 05:46:51 AM  
1 vote:

yourmomlovestetris: Our Navy has a 74 percent unintended pregnancy rate. Unless they plan on giving the women birth control shots or IUDs before they board, I predict this will end in disaster.

(As a woman, I would INSIST on getting low maintenance, long acting BC before climbing on board some stuffy, underwater tube filled with horny guys and boredom. Getting pregnant sounds like it would be the worst thing that could happen to someone under those circumstances.)

Or.. be professional and not sleep with coworkers? Goes for everyone.
2014-05-05 01:40:08 AM  
1 vote:

Summoner101: Also, just because you haven't heard of a sub doing anything doesn't mean they aren't doing anything

Like chauffeuring Navy SEALs. I know, they can only get them so close, but it's better than flying the one airplane in the sky over Yemen at night.
2014-05-05 01:30:52 AM  
1 vote:
Also, I watched Das Boot recently, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

I swear I could almost smell the farts.
2014-05-05 01:16:04 AM  
1 vote:

6 things movies don't tell you about life aboard a submarine
notable for the phrase: "More fart than man"

why aren't women allowed on submarines:
tl;dr: rape
2014-05-05 01:14:47 AM  
1 vote:
Bunny Wigglesworth will be much disappointed, I fear...
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