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(The Northern Echo (UK))   First women join Royal Navy's submarine force. There's a seaman joke in there somewhere   (thenorthernecho.co.uk) divider line 70
    More: Obvious, Royal Navy, Submarine Service, maritime museums, independent review  
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2988 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 May 2014 at 1:11 AM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-04 11:50:47 PM  
I think women and seamen don't mix.
i.imgur.com
We know what you think.
 
2014-05-04 11:51:34 PM  
This is my sad face after being unable to find an image of Captain Belleville from "Y: The Last Man" :(
 
2014-05-04 11:56:30 PM  
The boys can't wait to get their lime sammiches.
 
2014-05-05 12:44:00 AM  
A good navy needs good seamanship.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjAXJaFydwM
 
2014-05-05 01:13:02 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: A good navy needs good seamanship.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjAXJaFydwM


Hope that chick brought goggles.
 
2014-05-05 01:14:47 AM  
Bunny Wigglesworth will be much disappointed, I fear...
 
2014-05-05 01:16:04 AM  
Obligatory:

6 things movies don't tell you about life aboard a submarine
notable for the phrase: "More fart than man"

and
why aren't women allowed on submarines:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_aren%27t_women_allowed_on_submarines
tl;dr: rape
 
2014-05-05 01:18:22 AM  
Unless we ever get in WW3, subs are basically useless.
They don't transport anything, their only purpose is to launch nukes or sink ships.
And nobody with subs has fought a real navy since the 40's.
When is the last time a sub actually did something significant?
 
2014-05-05 01:23:02 AM  

Begoggle: Unless we ever get in WW3, subs are basically useless.
They don't transport anything, their only purpose is to launch nukes or sink ships.
And nobody with subs has fought a real navy since the 40's.
When is the last time a sub actually did something significant?


Ummm, they are also massive EW platforms as well as performing Recon and Intel gathering duties.  They also are used to conduct mapping and search operations.
 
2014-05-05 01:26:44 AM  

fusillade762: This is my sad face after being unable to find an image of Captain Belleville from "Y: The Last Man" :(


The one eyed Lizzie?
 
2014-05-05 01:28:57 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

And the threat of this happening was a big part of what kept the rest of the Argentine navy in port.
 
2014-05-05 01:30:52 AM  
Also, I watched Das Boot recently, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

I swear I could almost smell the farts.
 
2014-05-05 01:31:51 AM  
Our Navy has a 74 percent unintended pregnancy rate. Unless they plan on giving the women birth control shots or IUDs before they board, I predict this will end in disaster.

(As a woman, I would INSIST on getting low maintenance, long acting BC before climbing on board some stuffy, underwater tube filled with horny guys and boredom. Getting pregnant sounds like it would be the worst thing that could happen to someone under those circumstances.)
 
2014-05-05 01:32:45 AM  

fusillade762: This is my sad face after being unable to find an image of Captain Belleville from "Y: The Last Man" :(


Would you settle for Rose?

shehulk.sliverofice.com
 
2014-05-05 01:34:00 AM  

Begoggle: Unless we ever get in WW3, subs are basically useless.
They don't transport anything, their only purpose is to launch nukes or sink ships.
And nobody with subs has fought a real navy since the 40's.
When is the last time a sub actually did something significant?


With a planet that is 70% water, having a vehicle that can go under water is extremely useful.

Also, just because you haven't heard of a sub doing anything doesn't mean they aren't doing anything unless you think we have ports filled with unused, operational subs like we have fields filled with unused, operational tanks.
 
2014-05-05 01:37:11 AM  

Begoggle: Unless we ever get in WW3, subs are basically useless.
They don't transport anything, their only purpose is to launch nukes or sink ships.
And nobody with subs has fought a real navy since the 40's.
When is the last time a sub actually did something significant?


This is now required reading for you. And look, it's even available in an easy to consume ebook version!
 
2014-05-05 01:39:02 AM  

Begoggle: Unless we ever get in WW3, subs are basically useless.
They don't transport anything, their only purpose is to launch nukes or sink ships.
And nobody with subs has fought a real navy since the 40's.
When is the last time a sub actually did something significant?


They were integral to spying on the communications of the Soviety Union throughout the entirety of the cold war, by planting bugs and other listening/recording devices on unencrypted undersea communications cables.  That's pretty significant.
 
2014-05-05 01:40:08 AM  

Summoner101: Also, just because you haven't heard of a sub doing anything doesn't mean they aren't doing anything


Like chauffeuring Navy SEALs. I know, they can only get them so close, but it's better than flying the one airplane in the sky over Yemen at night.
 
2014-05-05 01:49:44 AM  

HotWingAgenda: Begoggle: Unless we ever get in WW3, subs are basically useless.
They don't transport anything, their only purpose is to launch nukes or sink ships.
And nobody with subs has fought a real navy since the 40's.
When is the last time a sub actually did something significant?

This is now required reading for you. And look, it's even available in an easy to consume ebook version!


^ this. Awesome read.
 
2014-05-05 01:55:42 AM  

fusillade762: This is my sad face after being unable to find an image of Captain Belleville from "Y: The Last Man" :(


I have it in its entirety and I don't remember that part.  Guess it's time to open it up again. Last 5 issues are in regular book form, not compiled.  I'm so cool.

Thanks for the reminder!!!!!
 
2014-05-05 01:57:22 AM  

Begoggle: Unless we ever get in WW3, subs are basically useless.
They don't transport anything, their only purpose is to launch nukes or sink ships.
And nobody with subs has fought a real navy since the 40's.
When is the last time a sub actually did something significant?


You hooked me.  Are you a troll or are you really that stupid?

Google "MIRV" for a start, kid.
 
2014-05-05 02:05:51 AM  
packetswitchedpress.com
 
2014-05-05 02:24:56 AM  

HotWingAgenda: [packetswitchedpress.com image 320x99]


There she is! It's small, but I'll take it.
 
2014-05-05 03:26:30 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-05 04:26:51 AM  
I don't think I have any seamen left but I met a gorgeous ex marine yesterday but well she wasn't ganna guve ne a chance but damn
 
2014-05-05 04:36:04 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: Begoggle: Unless we ever get in WW3, subs are basically useless.
They don't transport anything, their only purpose is to launch nukes or sink ships.
And nobody with subs has fought a real navy since the 40's.
When is the last time a sub actually did something significant?

You hooked me.  Are you a troll or are you really that stupid?

Google "MIRV" for a start, kid.


You're making his point for him.
 
2014-05-05 05:01:29 AM  

arador: Begoggle: Unless we ever get in WW3, subs are basically useless.
They don't transport anything, their only purpose is to launch nukes or sink ships.
And nobody with subs has fought a real navy since the 40's.
When is the last time a sub actually did something significant?

Ummm, they are also massive EW platforms as well as performing Recon and Intel gathering duties.


You just said the same thing three times with different words.  So, a limited amount of spying, and most of the time a submarine is damn near blind.  About the only thing it can do that a satellite can't do far better is tap an undersea cable.  I don't think we're doing much of that any more.

They also are used to conduct mapping and search operations.

Both of those are civilian, not military, functions.
 
2014-05-05 05:09:25 AM  

yourmomlovestetris: Our Navy has a 74 percent unintended pregnancy rate. Unless they plan on giving the women birth control shots or IUDs before they board, I predict this will end in disaster.

(As a woman, I would INSIST on getting low maintenance, long acting BC before climbing on board some stuffy, underwater tube filled with horny guys and boredom. Getting pregnant sounds like it would be the worst thing that could happen to someone under those circumstances.)


I like your attitude, welcome aboard!
 
2014-05-05 05:21:46 AM  
Good afternoon ladies. Perhaps we can start with a tour of the golden rivet.
 
2014-05-05 05:46:51 AM  

yourmomlovestetris: Our Navy has a 74 percent unintended pregnancy rate. Unless they plan on giving the women birth control shots or IUDs before they board, I predict this will end in disaster.

(As a woman, I would INSIST on getting low maintenance, long acting BC before climbing on board some stuffy, underwater tube filled with horny guys and boredom. Getting pregnant sounds like it would be the worst thing that could happen to someone under those circumstances.)


Or.. be professional and not sleep with coworkers? Goes for everyone.
 
2014-05-05 05:48:50 AM  
The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:

img149.imageshack.us
 
2014-05-05 06:39:03 AM  

DarkVader: About the only thing it can do that a satellite can't do far better is tap an undersea cable. I don't think we're doing much of that any more.


tinfoil time

Remember the Iran undersea cable cuts?
http://cryptome.info/cable-cuts.htm
https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2008/02/fourth_undersea.html

This is one of my favourite conspiracy theories.
 
2014-05-05 07:02:09 AM  
Subby, the judges would have also accepted "First women join Royal Navy's submarine force; are now surrounded by more seamen than a German porn set"
 
2014-05-05 07:09:29 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:

[img149.imageshack.us image 720x544]


Lt. Lake, you're almost out of uniform.
 
2014-05-05 07:21:40 AM  

spamdog: 6 things movies don't tell you about life aboard a submarine
notable for the phrase: "More fart than man"


FTL:

One guy's family came down for a tour and his friends decided to mess with them. So right as they're being shown around -- blah blah where's the periscope -- he stares at a screen and shouts out, "Dear God, it's gone critical!" and then sprints out of the room. The rest of us paused for maybe half a beat before we, too, fled screaming out of the engine room.

I call bullshiat:  I've been a guest on a nuclear submarine.  They don't let random people in the engine room.  Hell, I had a Top Secret clearance at the time, and they wouldn't let us past the bulkhead into the engineering spaces because we didn't have radiation badges.
 
2014-05-05 07:22:28 AM  

Dinobot: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:

[img149.imageshack.us image 720x544]

Lt. Lake, you're almost out of uniform.


I have been told, on good authority, that "Down Periscope" is the most realistic submarine movie ever made.
 
2014-05-05 07:23:38 AM  
I was looking over a PowerPoint file that listed some of the arrangement changes for accommodating women on Ohio class subs. In addition to the actual modifications, existing structures in the area were also noted. One slide included captions for Sanitary Tank No. 1 and Sanitary Tank No. 2.

While I am fully aware of what these actually are, the 12-year old inside of me thought "well, I guess you would need a place for those too."
 
2014-05-05 07:29:07 AM  

dittybopper: Dinobot: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:

[img149.imageshack.us image 720x544]

Lt. Lake, you're almost out of uniform.

I have been told, on good authority, that "Down Periscope" is the most realistic submarine movie ever made.


it certainly is more realistic than Crimson Tide.

And the whole diesel sub thing was later proven to be correct when a chinese diesel sub surfaced within torpedo range of the US Kitty Hawk and no one in its battlegroup had detected it prior to surfacing.
 
2014-05-05 07:30:30 AM  

dittybopper: Dinobot: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:

[img149.imageshack.us image 720x544]

Lt. Lake, you're almost out of uniform.

I have been told, on good authority, that "Down Periscope" is the most realistic submarine movie ever made.


Its a quirky movie with a pretty good (I almost said great) cast that deserves a sequel.
 
2014-05-05 07:35:40 AM  

dywed88: And the threat of this happening was a big part of what kept the rest of the Argentine navy in port.


That cruiser, by the way, was the USS Phoenix before we sold it to Argentina. It was one of the last survivors of Pearl Harbor still in active service.
 
2014-05-05 07:39:15 AM  

BowtoMogul: dittybopper: Dinobot: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:

[img149.imageshack.us image 720x544]

Lt. Lake, you're almost out of uniform.

I have been told, on good authority, that "Down Periscope" is the most realistic submarine movie ever made.

Its a quirky movie with a pretty good (I almost said great) cast that deserves a sequel.


The problem is that they took the crew out of the diesel boat at the end of the film.  And the diesel boat is one of the major stars, it being cantankerous and somewhat unreliable.  That's the joke of the film.  Take that joke away, and it's not nearly as interesting, engaging, or funny.

/Trivia:  Jonathan Penner, who plays Stanley "Spots" Sylvesterson in Down Periscope, has been on Survivor 3 times.
 
2014-05-05 07:46:12 AM  

BowtoMogul: dittybopper: Dinobot: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:

[img149.imageshack.us image 720x544]

Lt. Lake, you're almost out of uniform.

I have been told, on good authority, that "Down Periscope" is the most realistic submarine movie ever made.

Its a quirky movie with a pretty good (I almost said great) cast that deserves a sequel.


I remember when it was called Operation Petticoat.
 
2014-05-05 07:51:23 AM  

dittybopper: BowtoMogul: dittybopper: Dinobot: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:

[img149.imageshack.us image 720x544]

Lt. Lake, you're almost out of uniform.

I have been told, on good authority, that "Down Periscope" is the most realistic submarine movie ever made.

Its a quirky movie with a pretty good (I almost said great) cast that deserves a sequel.

The problem is that they took the crew out of the diesel boat at the end of the film.  And the diesel boat is one of the major stars, it being cantankerous and somewhat unreliable.  That's the joke of the film.  Take that joke away, and it's not nearly as interesting, engaging, or funny.

/Trivia:  Jonathan Penner, who plays Stanley "Spots" Sylvesterson in Down Periscope, has been on Survivor 3 times.


I kinda disagree, I always thought that a big part of the sequel would be the fish out of water element of the crew getting used to using a state of the art sub, Nitro not having anything to do, Sonar being able to hear things half a world away and Stepanek finding new and inventive ways to screw off.
Another possibility would be to give them some type of prototype boat or new tech and have that not work properly.

And I don't think any of the cast has gone on to do giant things so they all could probably be available.
 
2014-05-05 07:55:47 AM  

Betep: BowtoMogul: dittybopper: Dinobot: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:

[img149.imageshack.us image 720x544]

Lt. Lake, you're almost out of uniform.

I have been told, on good authority, that "Down Periscope" is the most realistic submarine movie ever made.

Its a quirky movie with a pretty good (I almost said great) cast that deserves a sequel.

I remember when it was called Operation Petticoat.


That wasn't real enough. I mean, come on. Females on subs!!?!
 
2014-05-05 07:59:09 AM  

Betep: BowtoMogul: dittybopper: Dinobot: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: The documentary I saw said that the women got special uniforms:

[img149.imageshack.us image 720x544]

Lt. Lake, you're almost out of uniform.

I have been told, on good authority, that "Down Periscope" is the most realistic submarine movie ever made.

Its a quirky movie with a pretty good (I almost said great) cast that deserves a sequel.

I remember when it was called Operation Petticoat.


Nah.

Totally different.

Down Periscope                              Operation Petticoat
--------------                              -------------------
Happens in peace time                       Happens during WWII
No real danger from enemies                 Quite real danger from enemies
Sub is antiquated                           Sub is relatively state-of-the-art
Crew is hand-picked misfits                 Crew is a normal mix
Captain is a "screw-up" like the crew       Captain isn't a "screw-up"
Only female is member of the crew           Females on board aren't crew.
Dick jokes                                  No dick jokes
 
2014-05-05 08:02:36 AM  
I got nothin.
 
2014-05-05 08:21:20 AM  

Begoggle: Unless we ever get in WW3, subs are basically useless.
They don't transport anything, their only purpose is to launch nukes or sink ships.
And nobody with subs has fought a real navy since the 40's.
When is the last time a sub actually did something significant?


arador: Begoggle: Unless we ever get in WW3, subs are basically useless.
They don't transport anything, their only purpose is to launch nukes or sink ships.
And nobody with subs has fought a real navy since the 40's.
When is the last time a sub actually did something significant?

Ummm, they are also massive EW platforms as well as performing Recon and Intel gathering duties.  They also are used to conduct mapping and search operations.


Plus, they can carry and deploy SEALS. And launch conventional cruise missiles (a fair percentage of the Tomahawks that hit Iraq between '91 and 2003 came from subs). Ask the Brits how useful they are for putting second-tier navies in their place.
 
2014-05-05 08:26:13 AM  
i1.ytimg.com

"Can you dig it, man?"
 
2014-05-05 08:36:19 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-05 08:45:24 AM  

HotWingAgenda: Begoggle: Unless we ever get in WW3, subs are basically useless.
They don't transport anything, their only purpose is to launch nukes or sink ships.
And nobody with subs has fought a real navy since the 40's.
When is the last time a sub actually did something significant?

This is now required reading for you. And look, it's even available in an easy to consume ebook version!


Carrier battle groups always have a submarine escort.  Everyone's mission in that group is to protect the carrier at all costs.
 
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