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(Stuff.co.nz)   King's son steals surfboards. Acting like proper royalty does the king: a) pay off the victim to hide the crime, b) tell the police not to prosecute, c) publicly shame his son through the media   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 49
    More: Spiffy, Maori, entailments, Fairfax Media  
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11910 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 May 2014 at 10:20 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-04 07:42:39 PM  
Yankees cap?
 
2014-05-04 08:12:25 PM  
Son, I just want you to know:  your real father is Tom Green.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-05-04 08:49:19 PM  
Seems like a pretty responsible thing to do.
 
2014-05-04 08:58:48 PM  
See? There is a cure for affluenza.
 
2014-05-04 10:23:29 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Yankees cap?


you can tell he's a douche.
 
2014-05-04 10:23:58 PM  
The king looks like a typical weary father, exasperated by his son's actions.

The son looks like a wigger.
 
2014-05-04 10:27:03 PM  

Dinobot: JohnAnnArbor: Yankees cap?

you can tell he's a douche.


Sticker is still on the cap? Confirmed, that's a douche.
 
2014-05-04 10:31:04 PM  
That boy is the King of Douches.
 
2014-05-04 10:34:56 PM  
Denounce your son and make Justin Bieber you heir. . .

wait. . .
 
2014-05-04 10:35:01 PM  
Take your damn hat off in the court, douche.

/sorry for the harsh language, King, but that boy needs some manners.
 
2014-05-04 10:40:43 PM  
The boy looks pretty humiliated in that photo. Don't know if the embarrassment will be enough to make the lesson stick, but it's a start.
 
2014-05-04 10:41:34 PM  
Royalty, you say?
 
2014-05-04 10:42:31 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: See? There is a cure for affluenza.


The maori "king" (not a recognised position by most of the tribes... an artificial british construct) is not affluent.
 
2014-05-04 10:43:16 PM  
Hopefully he'll change his ways.

I had just moved back to Hamilton whenTe Atairangikaahu died, sad day.
 
2014-05-04 10:44:44 PM  
Arrested for "boy racing" at 15, about to be a father at 18. What a jewel.
 
2014-05-04 10:45:16 PM  
Native American here
CSB.
I rarely brag about my culture since we
got our shiat knocked out by the US.
We had an awesome system. Some crimes were serious. Rape, murder etc. But the rest were acknowledging you effed up and agreeing to be publicly shamed in front of the young ones. They made a big show of destroying your property (just your old crap) while you and the victim agreed to an actual recompense.
It was simple and worked.
Then we all died.
End CSB.
 
2014-05-04 10:50:05 PM  

fugeeface: Take your damn hat off in the court, douche.

/sorry for the harsh language, King, but that boy needs some manners.


There are quite a few people who need to be reminded of proper hat etiquette

Indoors, a man should always remove his hat, (particularly in a home, church, courtroom or restaurant) except:
1. In some public buildings or public places such as railroad stations or post offices;
2. In the main parlor area of a saloon or general store;
3. or while seated at the "lunch counter" of a diner or cafe;
4. In entrance halls and corridors of office buildings, or hotels;
5. In elevators of public or office buildings, unless a woman is present;
6. If carrying packages, parcels or bags and both hands are occupied upon entry.
7. If the man is an actor or performer and the hat is being worn as a part of a costume or performance.
 
2014-05-04 10:50:22 PM  

fugeeface: Take your damn hat off in the court...


He tried to, but each one that he took off was replaced by another, more beautiful than the last.
 
2014-05-04 10:53:01 PM  
static2.stuff.co.nz

That's a royal family? Man, 'Murica's cultural infuence has ruined the nobility of nobility. Would Louis XIV have been caught dead in jeans? I expect my feudal overlords to show all the pomp and circumstance that money extorted from the peasants could pay for. The King should sit on an iron throne, not an armchair on Jerry Springer. Did this guy even have a watery tart throw a sword at him?

 As for that punk kid, you're damn right he's a douche: he's a Yankees fan.
 
2014-05-04 10:54:54 PM  
I willi never eat hamburgers there again.
 
2014-05-04 10:57:15 PM  
 
2014-05-04 10:59:33 PM  
He looks like every shiathead wigger in brooklyn.
 
2014-05-04 10:59:36 PM  

gerbilpox: That's a royal family?  Would Louis XIV have been caught dead in jeans?


I like His Majesty's jacket.
 
2014-05-04 11:03:39 PM  
He's probably covering for some friends that get him dope.  It'll get you more dope.
 
2014-05-04 11:11:31 PM  
I really wish politicians, CEOs and other entitled farktards would front up like this when they /their families /their colleagues do wrong.
 
2014-05-04 11:19:33 PM  
Maori king without the tattoos.  Odd.
 
2014-05-04 11:22:23 PM  
Was that an Adam Sandler movie, or am I remembering the future again?
 
2014-05-04 11:25:23 PM  
This isn't spiffy. It's sad. You're the son of a king yet you commit robbery? That's so shameful.

I don't think anyone here would consider it a cool thing if their children started committing crimes.
 
2014-05-04 11:28:27 PM  

Tom_Slick: fugeeface: Take your damn hat off in the court, douche.

/sorry for the harsh language, King, but that boy needs some manners.

There are quite a few people who need to be reminded of proper hat etiquette

Indoors, a man should always remove his hat, (particularly in a home, church, courtroom or restaurant) except:
1. In some public buildings or public places such as railroad stations or post offices;
2. In the main parlor area of a saloon or general store;
3. or while seated at the "lunch counter" of a diner or cafe;
4. In entrance halls and corridors of office buildings, or hotels;
5. In elevators of public or office buildings, unless a woman is present;
6. If carrying packages, parcels or bags and both hands are occupied upon entry.
7. If the man is an actor or performer and the hat is being worn as a part of a costume or performance.


Cool your jets bro

They're not in court. If you read article, Tuheitia sent Tuku Morgan (a guy who has some history he'll never live down) along to do the sonIamdisappoint.jpg at court.

Also, Maori King is not scion of a rich and robed royal family. It's a fairly egalitarian role - he's expected to not put himself above the rest of his people
 
2014-05-04 11:30:42 PM  
That kid is the ugliest Puerto Rican I've ever seen.
 
2014-05-04 11:31:48 PM  

Old Man Winter: Native American here
CSB.
I rarely brag about my culture since we
got our shiat knocked out by the US.
We had an awesome system. Some crimes were serious. Rape, murder etc. But the rest were acknowledging you effed up and agreeing to be publicly shamed in front of the young ones. They made a big show of destroying your property (just your old crap) while you and the victim agreed to an actual recompense.
It was simple and worked.
Then we all died.
End CSB.


In fairness, from what I understand first you got your shiat knocked out by white man diseases. Up to 90% dead due to the pale rider. Had it not been for that, there would have been a hell of a lot more trouble for the US-- maybe enough to cause a draw or a better settlement.
 
2014-05-04 11:40:08 PM  
Douchebag hat √
Douchebag goatee √
Douchebag hoodie √
Douchebag posture √
Sorry but your kid is not salvageable. Send him up for a stretch for felony B&E, acting in concert and grand theft and raise the baby yourself. But make sure he's up on all the latest rap fashions and kicks while he's in prison because there's no reason to change any of that now. Plus the prison time will give him street cred when his own album drops in a few years. By then Bieber will have started the Sniveling Lil' biatch Records label which will be perfect for him.
 
2014-05-04 11:41:43 PM  
lack of response to your shiat DNS's actions is main problem in the US right now, perhaps that's related to getting kids when you 15 or 45

The 15 not knowing dick about kids The 45. spoil the snow flecks into a exordia of winner sickness,

TSA also to blame Im sure
 
2014-05-04 11:53:13 PM  

GreenSun: This isn't spiffy. It's sad. You're the son of a king yet you commit robbery? That's so shameful.


Hey, dad is the king, of THE LAND.  Guess what is on the land?  HIS STUFF.  Ergo, Dad owns everything.  How can you possibly steal from yourself.  He's THE KING!  Watch some HBO shows to see how history really works, mmmmkay?
 
2014-05-04 11:56:32 PM  
The "he" in the second sentence refers back to "The king's son", not "The king."
 
2014-05-05 12:11:14 AM  

Old Man Winter: Native American here
CSB.
I rarely brag about my culture since we
got our shiat knocked out by the US.
We had an awesome system. Some crimes were serious. Rape, murder etc. But the rest were acknowledging you effed up and agreeing to be publicly shamed in front of the young ones. They made a big show of destroying your property (just your old crap) while you and the victim agreed to an actual recompense.
It was simple and worked.
Then we all died.
End CSB.


Man, Debbie Downer of an ending.
 
2014-05-05 12:12:30 AM  

Dinobot: JohnAnnArbor: Yankees cap?

you can tell he's a douche.


A sad douche.
 
2014-05-05 01:15:42 AM  

GreenSun: This isn't spiffy. It's sad. You're the son of a king yet you commit robbery? That's so shameful.

I don't think anyone here would consider it a cool thing if their children started committing crimes.


Um...assuming you're actually serious and not trolling?

I don't know about you, but I kinda do think it's spiffy/cool that a king (even a largely ceremonial one, which most monarchs are these days anyway), rather than covering for his kid or buying off he police/victim of said crime, shows disappointment that the kid committed the crime, doesn't appear in court with the kid as a support, and makes the kid take full responsibility for the consequences of his actions. There aren't many monarchs who do that. Hell, there aren't many people left in the world who still do that.
 
2014-05-05 01:53:54 AM  

Old Man Winter: Native American here
CSB.
I rarely brag about my culture since we
got our shiat knocked out by the US.
We had an awesome system. Some crimes were serious. Rape, murder etc. But the rest were acknowledging you effed up and agreeing to be publicly shamed in front of the young ones. They made a big show of destroying your property (just your old crap) while you and the victim agreed to an actual recompense.
It was simple and worked.
Then we all died.
End CSB.


Was that before, or after, you RUNNN TO THE HILLS; RUNNNN FOR YOUR LIVESSSS?
 
2014-05-05 03:54:36 AM  
A few things

This isnt a 'king' in the sense people think of He is sort of honorary 'chairman' of a maori group of tribes (not all by any means). The name 'king' was adopted as a sort of 'fark you' to the british crown during the new zealand wars. Lots of Maori think it is kind of a joke, some others take it more or less seriously. He has no power or money or anything though.

On the 'Wigger' thing, He is not white at all for one thing (maori and islanders often refer to themselves as 'black'), and young maori pretty much as standard identify with black american 'underclass' culture, perceiving their own 'struggle' as in some ways similiar. Maori are on the whole underprivileged in comparison to whites and asians and it is a pretty natural fit.
 
2014-05-05 04:19:39 AM  
You would think Scott2Hottie would be too old to be stealing surfboards
 
2014-05-05 04:19:57 AM  

JohnAnnArbor: Yankees cap?


Part of the public shaming.
 
2014-05-05 05:25:49 AM  

IsNoGood: lack of response to your shiat DNS's actions is main problem in the US right now, perhaps that's related to getting kids when you 15 or 45

The 15 not knowing dick about kids The 45. spoil the snow flecks into a exordia of winner sickness,

TSA also to blame Im sure


Wat?

Don't know what you're talking about, but anytime someone farks up the MX or CNAME records here, there's plenty of response.
 
2014-05-05 07:37:51 AM  

Old Man Winter: Native American here
CSB.
I rarely brag about my culture since we
got our shiat knocked out by the US.
We had an awesome system. Some crimes were serious. Rape, murder etc. But the rest were acknowledging you effed up and agreeing to be publicly shamed in front of the young ones. They made a big show of destroying your property (just your old crap) while you and the victim agreed to an actual recompense.
It was simple and worked.
Then we all died.
End CSB.


Native American descendant. Not enough blood to be tribal, alas.

I agree with your post.
 
2014-05-05 08:38:29 AM  
BAH GOD, KING, THOSE SURFBOARDS HAVE A FAMILY!!!
 
2014-05-05 08:43:44 AM  

TomD9938: gerbilpox: That's a royal family?  Would Louis XIV have been caught dead in jeans?

I like His Majesty's jacket.


He should have worn His Royal Majesty's Slightly Darker Black Fleece.
 
2014-05-05 09:51:44 AM  

brimed03: Old Man Winter: Native American here
CSB.
I rarely brag about my culture since we
got our shiat knocked out by the US.
We had an awesome system. Some crimes were serious. Rape, murder etc. But the rest were acknowledging you effed up and agreeing to be publicly shamed in front of the young ones. They made a big show of destroying your property (just your old crap) while you and the victim agreed to an actual recompense.
It was simple and worked.
Then we all died.
End CSB.

In fairness, from what I understand first you got your shiat knocked out by white man diseases. Up to 90% dead due to the pale rider. Had it not been for that, there would have been a hell of a lot more trouble for the US-- maybe enough to cause a draw or a better settlement.


Indeed. Smallpox was believed to come through since 1520 from Columbus's first days, when a transported slave had it. Mexico became infected, and it spread its way up. People think our diseases wiped them out AFTER the Mayflower landed, when in actuality they were wiped out just a few years before they landed.

Also for over 500 years before Columbus even tried taking credit for "discovering' America, the vikings had been in Greenland for that long, and repeatedly made expeditions to America for wood and other supplies. There's documents of them going as far south as North Carolina. Why Greenland and not just settle America? They made a go of settling in 1005, with 100-300 settlers and being the first successful European colony. It lasted a good 2 years, before their asses got kicked out and their leader took an arrow into the heart. They would continue to experience this every time they came for supplies from Greenland because of it's scarcity of resources.

If the Vikings didn't stand a chance, you bet your ass "the first settlers" like the Mayflower wouldn't have lasted at all. They would have surrounded the moment they landed, if they even landed. It was all about that smallpox timing..  Excerpt about their "response" and population.
 
2014-05-05 10:22:53 AM  
There are surprisingly few Maori women on Pornhub.
 
2014-05-05 02:29:37 PM  
'ow do you know he's a king?
 
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