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(Komo)   Naked Portland man doing pushups in the middle of an intersection at 4:00 a.m. is hit and killed by a car. The coroner can probably skip the toxicology report on this one   (komonews.com) divider line 55
    More: Obvious, Portland Street, push-ups, intersections, medical examiners, skips  
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3608 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 May 2014 at 9:26 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



55 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-04 05:13:35 PM  
He was what and killed by a car? What?!

TELL ME NOW I MUST KNOW! :O
 
2014-05-04 05:22:45 PM  
Was that deliberate avoidance of filterpwnage, or is subby a proofreder?
 
2014-05-04 05:25:18 PM  
Yah but was he good looking?  that's what we really need to know.
 
2014-05-04 06:28:57 PM  
I think the headline is in cockney. 'E was 'it, 'e was. Sawr it with my ohwn two oiyes.
 
2014-05-04 06:32:05 PM  
Guy was so drunk he didn't realize his girlfriend got up and left.
 
2014-05-04 06:45:06 PM  
He shiat and killed by car?
 
2014-05-04 06:47:06 PM  
He was clearly killed by exercise. People should stop working out.
 
2014-05-04 07:02:19 PM  

Cake Hunter: I think the headline is in cockney. 'E was 'it, 'e was. Sawr it with my ohwn two oiyes.


This. Submitted by some drunken bloke.
 
2014-05-04 07:08:56 PM  
The speed limit on Columbia is pretty high, iirc. You may as well be doing pushups on the freeway.
 
2014-05-04 07:56:20 PM  

fusillade762: The speed limit on Columbia is pretty high, iirc. You may as well be doing pushups on the freeway.


It's a good area full of law abiding, successful citizens.
 
2014-05-04 08:23:08 PM  

Captain Steroid: He was what and killed by a car? What?!

TELL ME NOW I MUST KNOW! :O


It. He was it, can't you read?  What I want to know is, why the hell would he stop to do pushups during a game of tag?
 
2014-05-04 09:21:09 PM  
He couldn't wait the 26 minutes to get to the gym. That's dedication. At least he died doing what he loved.
 
2014-05-04 09:29:28 PM  
keep Portland weird
 
2014-05-04 09:32:34 PM  
I'm blaming marijuana.
Over 25,000,000 deaths per year are caused by it.
 
2014-05-04 09:33:00 PM  
Damnit, i read that as nakd Natalie Portman doing pushups, too bad
 
2014-05-04 09:33:20 PM  
Someone stole his girlfriend.
 
2014-05-04 09:39:02 PM  
Fit, Drunk and Stupid is no way to end your life son.
 
2014-05-04 09:39:12 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-04 09:39:52 PM  
Just put a bird on it.
 
2014-05-04 09:39:53 PM  
Damn speed bumps throw your alignment off.
 
2014-05-04 09:40:44 PM  
I don't blame him for doing push ups in the street. Those health club fees are expensive!
 
2014-05-04 09:41:46 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
// yeah, I'm probably gonna get banned.  I so totally have a crush on her.
 
2014-05-04 09:42:09 PM  
Poor Dr. Banner.
 
2014-05-04 09:45:32 PM  
oh. naked portland... I misread that as naked natalie portman.  my bad.  Sorry.
 
2014-05-04 09:47:10 PM  
I read that as Natalie Portman, and thought, "damn, is the guy she's doing pushups on okay?".
 
2014-05-04 09:47:20 PM  

love_alice: // yeah, I'm probably gonna get banned.  I so totally have a crush on her.


Back of the line. I would drink her urine if you know what I mean. If you dont know what I mean then here. Natalie portmans piss= mmmmmmmmmm
 
2014-05-04 09:49:21 PM  

MorteDiem: I'm blaming marijuana.
Over 25,000,000 deaths per year are caused by it.


Well, sure, if you count spermatozoa.
 
2014-05-04 09:56:51 PM  

Heywood Jublowme: Damn speed bumps throw your alignment off.


Unless you drive a truck, then you'll have the ground clearance and suspension that can handle speed bumps up to 40 mph.  You still might spill your drink though.  I hope the driver's car wasn't too damaged, he's suffered enough.
 
2014-05-04 10:01:23 PM  
Alright. Is there anyone who *didn't* think of Natalie Portman?
 
2014-05-04 10:07:03 PM  
Yay! Inline pussy pics
 
2014-05-04 10:10:56 PM  

Prof. Frink: Alright. Is there anyone who *didn't* think of Natalie Portman?


Professor, evidently, I was the only one that cared enough to post pics.  I am so disappoint in fark right now.
 
2014-05-04 10:13:16 PM  

love_alice: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 640x360]
// yeah, I'm probably gonna get banned.  I so totally have a crush on her.


x2.fjcdn.com\

/Definitely not a Mod, so I can't make calls about banning or allowing.
//You definitely made the thread more enjoyable though.
 
2014-05-04 10:15:43 PM  

love_alice: Prof. Frink: Alright. Is there anyone who *didn't* think of Natalie Portman?

Professor, evidently, I was the only one that cared enough to post pics.  I am so disappoint in fark right now.


lh4.googleusercontent.com
 
2014-05-04 10:18:33 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Was that deliberate avoidance of filterpwnage, or is subby a proofreader?



I'm blaming autocorrect.

/subby
 
2014-05-04 10:18:53 PM  
I'm just going to assume this is the beginning of some new crossfit/crosstraffic excercise regimen.  You know, build your body while you tune your mind sort of thing.
 
2014-05-04 10:20:24 PM  
I'm glad I'm not the only one who read that as "naked Portman".
 
2014-05-04 10:23:24 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Am I doing it right?
 
2014-05-04 10:24:15 PM  
if doing naked push ups in the street at 4am is wrong, than i don't wanna be right. actually, that's pretty stupid
 
2014-05-04 10:28:04 PM  
People who recoil at the thought of naked Natalie Portman must avoid Googling "Hotel Chevalier".

Seriously. I am generously helping you avoiding the sight of naked Natalie Portman.

You're welcome.
 
2014-05-04 10:31:49 PM  
Naked guy doing pushups in the middle of the street?

img.fark.net

Also,
media.komonews.com

What a street may look like.
 
2014-05-04 10:39:30 PM  
When I was younger and stupider I'll fully admit to beer goggling up and farking some not-so-attractive ladies. But I never got drunk enough to fark a street.
 
2014-05-04 10:43:55 PM  
The only good Natalie Portman is in Leon: The Professional

www.wallsave.com
She sucks as an actress and ruins almost anything she touches.  Only Winona Ryder is more toxic.

Bangable only if you have duct tape and an alibi.

Now. . .not then.
 
2014-05-04 10:45:30 PM  

Tom_Slick: Fit, Drunk and Stupid is no way to end your life son.


Well, it's A way, apparently.
 
2014-05-04 10:48:39 PM  

mjohnson71: When I was younger and stupider I'll fully admit to beer goggling up and farking some not-so-attractive ladies. But I never got drunk enough to fark a street.


Pro-tip: just because she's black and as wide as a car, girls donr like it when you call cunnilingus "going down the lane".
 
2014-05-04 11:00:55 PM  

K3rmy: The only good Natalie Portman is in Leon: The Professional


She sucks as an actress and ruins almost anything she touches.  Only Winona Ryder is more toxic.

Bangable only if you have duct tape and an alibi.

Now. . .not then.


What is this... I don't even
 
2014-05-04 11:09:22 PM  

Cake Hunter: I think the headline is in cockney. 'E was 'it, 'e was. Sawr it with my ohwn two oiyes.


Headline looks fine to me.  What is this?  I don't even
 
2014-05-04 11:33:08 PM  
Went out blazed, in the buff, getting buff. hero tag?
 
2014-05-05 12:16:43 AM  
Detectives closed North Columbia Boulevard for several hours for further investigation of the incident, and say the driver who hit the man was cooperative, and hadn't been drinking.

 see, this is what sucks. you are at a friends house having a few drinks, or at the bar for darts night. your not drunk, just feeling good about life. tootling home, minding your own business. them BOOM! you run over some naked dude on angel dust doing push-ups in the road. now it's DWI time. will the DA push for vehicular homicide? your over the limit, so your Farked regardless how this pans out.

/you just never know how weird life can get in a heart beat
 
2014-05-05 12:55:32 AM  
was it a cockpushup?

/all you need is one
 
2014-05-05 12:55:50 AM  
He's a naked Portland man
Living in his Portland land
Shouldn't he be in a gym, not on the street?

4am a driver drives
Through the night and then arrives
Shredding up our naked Portland hero

Portland man, why you naked?
Is it 'cause you are bake-ed?
Portland man, there's nothing that I understand

Just be glad that your not him
Do your workouts in a gym
And please don't forget to dress ... modestly
 
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