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(Miami Herald)   Dave Barry welcomes all of the thigh shooting, terrorist escaping, CTU ineptitude, and superhuman abilities of Jack Bauer back to the airwaves   (miamiherald.com) divider line 57
    More: Amusing, Chicago Teachers Union, superhuman abilities, god, thighs, Kiefer Sutherland, hostages  
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2394 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 04 May 2014 at 4:52 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-04 03:22:45 PM  
I thought we were turning a corner America. I thought we were moving away from this triple-red-alert-terrorist-on-every-corner sensationalism? This is not good for our national well being.
 
2014-05-04 03:39:23 PM  
Can't wait.

/looking forward to goth Chloe
 
2014-05-04 05:01:48 PM  
Why would terrorist even want to waste time with the U.K. in the first place? The country is a has-been, Tony Blair basically turned them into America's lapdog, and in the realm of European/World affairs, France and Germany hold more influence than England. Hell, I had to go to Google just to remind myself that the current Prime Minister is David Cameron.
 
2014-05-04 05:06:28 PM  
In the first season, in one or two episodes, they showed a few people eating TV dinners, had one of the CTU managers acknowledge people might be tired because they'd been up all day, and once showed Jack almost falling asleep.

Them the writers probably figured it was pointless to try to appear this realistic.
 
2014-05-04 05:11:30 PM  
Yo 24, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish but "The Following" is the most ridiculous TV show of all time...
 
2014-05-04 05:12:36 PM  

Rip_Rufus: Yo 24, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish but "The Following" is the most ridiculous TV show of all time...


This. The Following season 1 was like 24 season 6.
 
2014-05-04 05:14:41 PM  

cyberspacedout: In the first season, in one or two episodes, they showed a few people eating TV dinners, had one of the CTU managers acknowledge people might be tired because they'd been up all day, and once showed Jack almost falling asleep.

Them the writers probably figured it was pointless to try to appear this realistic.


You can stay up for 24  hours if you have enough adrenaline in you. And none of the characters are on screen at all times so they'd all have time use the bathroom if they had to.

As for the terrorists, not every episode is about terrorists. In fact I can only think of one episode that had Muslim terrorists at all and they weren't the main bad guys. Just like the gov't only tortured one person in the whole show and it wound up that they had the wrong guy. Now the LA traffic in the show, that's a little far fetched.

I don't think a lot of people who whine about the show have actually seen it.
 
2014-05-04 05:18:47 PM  

skinink: Why would terrorist even want to waste time with the U.K. in the first place? The country is a has-been, Tony Blair basically turned them into America's lapdog, and in the realm of European/World affairs, France and Germany hold more influence than England. Hell, I had to go to Google just to remind myself that the current Prime Minister is David Cameron.


You are so right.

Why would Jack waste his time in the UK when he could be foiling a plot to kidnap all of the Kardashian sisters, orchestrated by the GOP to push their "Legitimate Rape" and Anti-Gay Marriage agenda (so they can ultimately defund Obamacare), while Sarah Palin sets up a nationwide distraction by partnering with Ted Cruz and appearing on Dancing with the Stars.

Maybe you should clean up your own act, before looking down your nose at others.
 
2014-05-04 05:19:16 PM  
As do I, Mr. Barry, as do I.....

/"WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!"
 
2014-05-04 05:28:22 PM  
JACK: I need the schematics of every residence in Baltimore owned by Presbyterians NOW.

Wow, that's really weird. I actually live in Baltimore, and I'm Presbyterian. OHMYGOD, HE'S ON TO ME!!!!

*jumps out window*
 
2014-05-04 05:47:15 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: I thought we were turning a corner America. I thought we were moving away from this triple-red-alert-terrorist-on-every-corner sensationalism? This is not good for our national well being.


It's a TV show. Lighten up Francis.
 
2014-05-04 05:47:49 PM  

Hilary T. N. Seuss: JACK: I need the schematics of every residence in Baltimore owned by Presbyterians NOW.

Wow, that's really weird. I actually live in Baltimore, and I'm Presbyterian. OHMYGOD, HE'S ON TO ME!!!!

*jumps out window*


TELL US WHERE THE BOMBS ARE HILARY T.N. SEUSS!
 
2014-05-04 05:48:44 PM  
Also, I thought Dave Barry retired.
 
2014-05-04 05:50:31 PM  
Hope they bring back Charles Logan in some capacity.....that character was the King of Weasels, IMHO.
 
2014-05-04 05:52:13 PM  
Also, there better be a premiere thread tomorrow. The people need to get their badges.
 
2014-05-04 05:52:36 PM  

John the Magnificent: skinink: Why would terrorist even want to waste time with the U.K. in the first place? The country is a has-been, Tony Blair basically turned them into America's lapdog, and in the realm of European/World affairs, France and Germany hold more influence than England. Hell, I had to go to Google just to remind myself that the current Prime Minister is David Cameron.

You are so right.

Why would Jack waste his time in the UK when he could be foiling a plot to kidnap all of the Kardashian sisters, orchestrated by the GOP to push their "Legitimate Rape" and Anti-Gay Marriage agenda (so they can ultimately defund Obamacare), while Sarah Palin sets up a nationwide distraction by partnering with Ted Cruz and appearing on Dancing with the Stars.

Maybe you should clean up your own act, before looking down your nose at others.


? Why are you so sensitive over a comment? And "you should clean up your own act"? Referring to America? All I'm pointing out is that in world politics the U.K. seems a diminished power. How you can put the Kardashians or whatever on the same level as world affairs also bothers me. But if you want to bring up fluffy non important national figures a nation's citizens are obsessed over, let's talk about the Royal Family. Or not.
 
2014-05-04 05:54:17 PM  
I wish they hadn't killed off RoboCop. He was a cool character. I'm glad the guy who was a prick to Chloe is Spock now so he probably won't be coming back. What about Jack's wildcat bait daughter, is she returning?
 
2014-05-04 05:58:40 PM  

Mugato: I'm glad the guy who was a prick to Chloe is Spock now so he probably won't be coming back.


Being Spock didn't stop him from showing up repeatedly on American Horror Story.
 
2014-05-04 06:00:24 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Also, I thought Dave Barry retired.


From Wikipedia.

On October 31, 2004, Dave Barry announced that he would be taking an indefinite leave of absence of at least a year from his weekly column in order to spend more time with his family. In December 2005, Barry said in an interview with Editor and Publisher that he would not resume his weekly column, although he would continue such features as his yearly gift guide, his year-in-review feature, and his blog, as well as an occasional article or column.
 
2014-05-04 06:03:23 PM  

12349876: B.L.Z. Bub: Also, I thought Dave Barry retired.

From Wikipedia.

On October 31, 2004, Dave Barry announced that he would be taking an indefinite leave of absence of at least a year from his weekly column in order to spend more time with his family. In December 2005, Barry said in an interview with Editor and Publisher that he would not resume his weekly column, although he would continue such features as his yearly gift guide, his year-in-review feature, and his blog, as well as an occasional article or column.


And I should also note, he's written 5 non-fiction books since then and 11 fiction books (all but 2 with co-authors),
 
2014-05-04 06:05:41 PM  
How are they handling the Events Occurring in Real Time with only 12 episodes?
 
2014-05-04 06:06:26 PM  

Forbidden Doughnut: Hope they bring back Charles Logan in some capacity.....that character was the King of Weasels, IMHO.


Last we saw him, he tried taking the easy way out and failed at that, too.

His condition's such that I don't think even the writers are going to make that kind of leap.
 
2014-05-04 06:11:04 PM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: How are they handling the Events Occurring in Real Time with only 12 episodes?


From Wikipedia:

Set four years after the events of season 8, it will loosely adhere to the concept: while it will still cover the events of a single day, with each episode corresponding to an hour, there will be jumps forward in time between certain episodes.

By the way, Fark, can we PLEASE get a "remove formatting" button? It would REALLY help for copying and pasting from websites. Pretty please?
 
2014-05-04 06:13:24 PM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: How are they handling the Events Occurring in Real Time with only 12 episodes?


The real time thing was always a gimmick that they didn't really need.
 
2014-05-04 06:15:20 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: InterruptingQuirk: I thought we were turning a corner America. I thought we were moving away from this triple-red-alert-terrorist-on-every-corner sensationalism? This is not good for our national well being.

It's a TV show. Lighten up Francis.


The fourth branch of the government should not be taken too seriously, but neither should it be taken too lightly. Hollywood has a long history of serving its East coast sister.
 
2014-05-04 06:17:28 PM  

Mugato: You can stay up for 24  hours if you have enough adrenaline in you.


Until a few years ago I'd have to stay up 24 hours at least once a year for a random IT emergency, and I was past 40.  You can hit 24 hours with just coffee.  I would start fading quickly by hour 28, though.

When I was in college I had a roommate who would routinely stay up the whole farking weekend and then sleep from Sunday night until Tuesday morning.  He did a lot of coke.
 
2014-05-04 06:19:25 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: B.L.Z. Bub: InterruptingQuirk: I thought we were turning a corner America. I thought we were moving away from this triple-red-alert-terrorist-on-every-corner sensationalism? This is not good for our national well being.

It's a TV show. Lighten up Francis.

The fourth branch of the government should not be taken too seriously, but neither should it be taken too lightly. Hollywood has a long history of serving its East coast sister.


Right, because the people who run Hollywood are right-wing terrorist-fearing nutjobs.
 
2014-05-04 06:21:37 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: By the way, Fark, can we PLEASE get a "remove formatting" button? It would REALLY help for copying and pasting from websites. Pretty please?


By the way, Fark, can we PLEASE get a "remove formatting" button? It would REALLY help for copying and pasting from websites. Pretty please?

Right click, "Paste as plain text"
 
2014-05-04 06:22:32 PM  
www.pocketables.com
 
2014-05-04 06:41:06 PM  
Also Yvonne Strahovski as CIA Agent Sarah Walker CIA Agent Kate Morgan.

Mother of God indeed...
 
2014-05-04 06:41:28 PM  

12349876: 12349876: B.L.Z. Bub: Also, I thought Dave Barry retired.

From Wikipedia.

On October 31, 2004, Dave Barry announced that he would be taking an indefinite leave of absence of at least a year from his weekly column in order to spend more time with his family. In December 2005, Barry said in an interview with Editor and Publisher that he would not resume his weekly column, although he would continue such features as his yearly gift guide, his year-in-review feature, and his blog, as well as an occasional article or column.

And I should also note, he's written 5 non-fiction books since then and 11 fiction books (all but 2 with co-authors),


and he does speaking engagements.  He was the keynote speaker at a professional conference I attended a few years ago and the guy was really funny.  Whole room was laughing.  Also looked like he was in his 40s, not his 60s.
 
2014-05-04 06:41:45 PM  

Lsherm: [www.pocketables.com image 304x409]


Not in my browser (Chrome). The only thing that works is "Paste and Match Style", which is counterintuitive. I don't think it's supposed to work that way but it does. Still, it's bad design to rely on the browser UI, which is why good rich text editors like TinyMCE have buttons for every possible function in the off chance that the browser UI is really crappy.
 
2014-05-04 06:52:44 PM  

Rip_Rufus: Yo 24, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish but "The Following" is the most ridiculous TV show of all time...


Does "The Following" have a cougar stalking the female eyecandy? Then shut up.

/stupid, stupid, wonderful Kim
 
2014-05-04 06:59:13 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Also, I thought Dave Barry retired.


No, he's still as vaguely, mildly amusing as ever.
 
2014-05-04 07:16:00 PM  
Chloe is farking annoying. The show jumped the shark after season two. Christ do I miss Nina.
 
2014-05-04 07:38:34 PM  

Lsherm: [www.pocketables.com image 304x409]


Send that to my PDA
 
2014-05-04 07:47:18 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Right, because the people who run Hollywood are right-wing terrorist-fearing nutjobs


Nope, I know they are left-wing terrorist fearing nutjobs. The only difference is that they donate to blue instead of red.
 
2014-05-04 07:50:38 PM  

wiredtolain: Chloe is farking annoying. The show jumped the shark after season two. Christ do I miss Nina.


THIS.  Chloe's incessantly whiny dialogue and Jack concernedly asking "You okay??" with deeply concerned voice of concern every time she rolled her boring eyes was truly unbearable.

Nina, on the other hand, was not a frivolous female.  She was the silent machine of death that no shackles could hold and thus was fascinating.

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-04 07:52:29 PM  
I need the schematics of every residence in Baltimore owned by Presbyterians NOW.

I nearly choked on my V-8 laughing.
 
2014-05-04 08:00:06 PM  
Was it season 5 that opened with the hostages in the airport? When Jack had Chloe send him the effing resonance frequency of an explosive device to his PDA? That he then used to blow shiat up? Yeah. Shark jumped.
 
2014-05-04 08:32:44 PM  

kronicfeld: Was it season 5 that opened with the hostages in the airport? When Jack had Chloe send him the effing resonance frequency of an explosive device to his PDA? That he then used to blow shiat up? Yeah. Shark jumped.


Oh, please.  That was nothing, and Season 5 was awesome anyway.

All the shark-jumping happened one season later.  A nuke goes off on American soil, and not even a few episodes later, everything's A-OK.  Not to mention that they more or less destroyed several characters and angles for nothing.  Jack/Audrey, Morris, the reformed terrorist looking to broker peace...and don't get me started on Jack's family.  What a waste of James Cromwell and Paul McCrane.
 
2014-05-04 08:35:46 PM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: How are they handling the Events Occurring in Real Time with only 12 episodes?


This season, everyone actually follows Jack's instructions, so he only needs 12 hours.
 
2014-05-04 08:46:23 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: I thought we were turning a corner America. I thought we were moving away from this triple-red-alert-terrorist-on-every-corner sensationalism? This is not good for our national well being.


/shoots InterruptingQuark in the thigh
 
2014-05-04 09:34:17 PM  

Mentat: InterruptingQuirk: I thought we were turning a corner America. I thought we were moving away from this triple-red-alert-terrorist-on-every-corner sensationalism? This is not good for our national well being.

/shoots InterruptingQuark in the thigh


Ow.

You know I'll limp along for another two episodes to give me time to deliver a fact revealing monologue stretched through a cliff-hanger.
 
2014-05-04 09:34:41 PM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: How are they handling the Events Occurring in Real Time with only 12 episodes?


Never watched 24.

But were the episodes 44 minutes long after ad breaks? Should it actually have been called 17.6?

It was pretty hardcore for product placement too, wasn't it? Sure I read of Jack complimenting the fine job his Cisco router did in defeating the turrists at some point.

B.L.Z. Bub: By the way, Fark, can we PLEASE get a "remove formatting" button? It would REALLY help for copying and pasting from websites. Pretty please?


Edit your profile and your can turn off the new style comment box.
 
2014-05-04 09:42:12 PM  

iron de havilland: But were the episodes 44 minutes long after ad breaks? Should it actually have been called 17.6?


They skip a few minutes during the commercial breaks.
 
2014-05-04 09:51:46 PM  

Mugato: iron de havilland: But were the episodes 44 minutes long after ad breaks? Should it actually have been called 17.6?

They skip a few minutes during the commercial breaks.


TMYK.
 
2014-05-04 10:37:06 PM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: How are they handling the Events Occurring in Real Time with only 12 episodes?


They are recording 24 hours of shows, but broadcasting them at 2X fast-forward. You can then DVR them and watch them at 2X rewind speed. Make sense?
 
2014-05-04 10:46:44 PM  
Yvonne Strahovski is a strong incentive to watch this.
 
2014-05-04 10:48:29 PM  
I think 24 is shiate for most of the reasons he listed, but it just finally justified his existence by getting Dave Barry to write a column. Miss when that was a weekly occurrence.
 
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