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(ARL Now)   Man convicted of assault on roommate who drew a penis on his face. With fantastic mugshot   (arlnow.com) divider line 26
    More: Followup, James Watson, dry-erase, Clarendon, marker pen  
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20774 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 May 2014 at 5:04 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-05-04 05:29:09 AM  
8 votes:
Signs you might suck at life:

1.)  You are 30 and have roommates
2.)  You are 30 and still pass out on the couch with your shoes on after a night of drinking
3.)  You hang out with people who are either functionally retarded or liars (I swear, I tried it on my arm and it comes right off, so I drew a dick on his face....)

In any case - if you can easily remove the drawing - then it's a 'haha' funny prank.  The victim will go around and not know they have a dick on their face for a while.  haha, funny.  But once it's permanent or semi-permanent (after all, a tattoo of a dick on your face isn't permanent - it can be removed and, worst case, it only lasts about 60-70 years) it can be quite serious.  Most everyone with a job cannot go to work with a dick on their face.  Most people can't call up their boss and say, 'I need 3 weeks off work because I have a dick on my face that is slowly fadding'

Personally, I think everything that happened in the story is fair game.  House rule is if you fall asleep with shoes on, you get drawn on.  House rules should also include anyone doing the drawing gets the crap beat out of them.  Ironically, these were the house rules we followed when I was in college.  Depending on the marker - a black eye/broken nose will look normal in about the same time it takes for the drawing to fade completely.

// I bet the dude with the broken nose never draws another dick on a passed out drunk guy again.
/// Lesson learned
2014-05-04 02:08:07 AM  
5 votes:
These men were in their 30s. How immature of them to still be pulling such juvenile pranks.
2014-05-04 12:20:15 AM  
5 votes:
He should have demanded a jury trial.

I wouldn't have voted to convict.
2014-05-04 06:43:19 AM  
4 votes:

Fark_Guy_Rob: Signs you might suck at life:

1.)  You are 30 and have roommates


img.4plebs.org
/Maybe you own a home and rent a room for extra income
//Or you were laid off
///Or went though a nasty divorce
////I doubt any apply to these idiots but that's one of the most idiotic statements I've read on fark all morning
2014-05-04 06:25:58 AM  
3 votes:
Yeah, well I bet the marker assault guy won't feel the need do it again. That ain't funny-he gets zero sympathy from me.
2014-05-04 06:12:34 AM  
3 votes:
I thought it was international law that passing out with your shoes on warrants others to draw on you.
2014-05-04 05:28:47 AM  
3 votes:

Riche: He should have demanded a jury trial.

I wouldn't have voted to convict.


Good idea. I would not vote to convict, either

Penis-drawer lucky he did not have more injuries. Penis drawer did a real dick move
2014-05-04 03:16:56 PM  
1 votes:

frepnog: Witness99: but don't touch the face man! Gotta be somewhere in 26 minutes?

no.  I am a grown up with a real job that requires that I don't show up with ridiculous shiat on my face.  And have been since oh pretty much forever.  Some lines just shouldn't be crossed.  It may not bother some people, but some would take grand offense.  This guy here did.  I would.  Hell, the court understood and suspended any sentence.

Don't mess with someone's face.  It's not funny.


Well, I bet that washing off the marker will take a lot less time and toll on your career than cops showing up at your house, arrest, and a record.  You say you're not a violent person, yet you advocate seriously and long term injuring somebody over a marker.  It's really not that big of a deal, get over it.
2014-05-04 02:55:12 PM  
1 votes:

frepnog: Witness99: Well, for those of you that advocate attacking someone in their sleep by bashing their face in for putting a temporary mark on your face as a joke, that's pretty barbaric, sick and unmanly.

It's not like what you see in the movies or cartoons - there are serious, potentially lifelong and even fatal consequences to ramming your fist into somebody's head in a rage with force enough to break their noise, etc.  HIs eye that was swelled shut may have sustained permanent damage, the other facial injuries they mention could be fractures, jaw dislocations and so on.  You can easily kill a person with a punch to the temple.  You can force bone fragments into their brain with a nose punch.  This person might have to deal with head/face pain, migraines for years to come.

But if you feel justified and it makes you feel tough, be sure to tell all your girlfriends about it, I'm sure they'll be very impressed.

oh go blow a goat, hippy.  I am not a violent person, nor am I an internet tough guy; nor am I a homophobe or insecure in my manhood.

I wouldn't give a shiat WHAT someone had drawn on my face.  You'll pay for that shiat.

Draw on my arms, hands, belly, hell strip me naked and paint my dick green, all funny.

You mess with my face, Imma fark you up.  Period.

Witness99: A real man wouldn't have reacted by beating the guy's face in.  been getting pass out drunk around people that play stupid fratboy games.

There, FTFY.  Because his reaction I completely understand.

You talk like you are exactly the kind of asshole that would draw on someone's face and then wonder why they got mad.


No, actually I've never done that.  I did paint my boyfriend's nails once and I guess lucky for me, he didn't bash my face in (we had an inside joke about nail painting, so I did it once when he was passed out - also painted his toenails once while he was lucid).

I wouldn't draw a cock on someone's face because it's just so stupid - the implication is that "oh look, you're GAY!  LOL, look man, you're GAY, you're sucking a cock man, hahahaha."  So, why would a hetero man get so bent out of shape about that?  Gay or not, who cares - it was meant as a harmless tease, he was poking fun at him and trying to illicit a reaction of "oh you guys!"  I'm not a guy and I'm not a prankster, but my understanding is that that's how some guys bond.

Anyway, what's so special about your face? You said you don't care if they pull down your pants and paint your dick green, but don't touch the face man!  Gotta be somewhere in 26 minutes?  Markers wash off, and like someone mentioned earlier, they come off even faster with rubbing alcohol, or if you're really brave, nail polish remover.
2014-05-04 02:03:54 PM  
1 votes:
Well, for those of you that advocate attacking someone in their sleep by bashing their face in for putting a temporary mark on your face as a joke, that's pretty barbaric, sick and unmanly.

It's not like what you see in the movies or cartoons - there are serious, potentially lifelong and even fatal consequences to ramming your fist into somebody's head in a rage with force enough to break their noise, etc.  HIs eye that was swelled shut may have sustained permanent damage, the other facial injuries they mention could be fractures, jaw dislocations and so on.  You can easily kill a person with a punch to the temple.  You can force bone fragments into their brain with a nose punch.  This person might have to deal with head/face pain, migraines for years to come.

But if you feel justified and it makes you feel tough, be sure to tell all your girlfriends about it, I'm sure they'll be very impressed.
2014-05-04 12:49:54 PM  
1 votes:
As has been said, if at 30 you are passing out drunk and hanging around with people who would draw a dick on your face, well then you pretty much deserve to have a dick drawn on your face.
2014-05-04 10:20:46 AM  
1 votes:
You know, it would have come off with 4-5 face washes. Applying a sharpie to skin isn't like writing on a plastic tote. Every time you wash your skin, the top layers slough off. Skin constantly regenerates. A sharpie is not like a tattoo, the ink doesn't penetrate nearly as deep. Nobody would have to stay home from work for three weeks to wait for it to fade.

That said, these guys all sound like idiots, but the punishment should fit the crime. Attacking someone while they sleep and bashing their face in is barbaric. Dickface guy should've drawn on the guy in return, or something similarly stupid and silly like replacing salt with sugar or Saran Wrap on the toilet or whatever they do for fun. His roommate meant the drawn dick to be funny, not harmful. The guy that beat the shiat out of his face is a total dick. A total dickface.
2014-05-04 10:10:40 AM  
1 votes:

clowncar on fire: HeartBurnKid: Actions to take when somebody draws a dick on your face:

1: Wash it off
2: Stick his hand in a bucket of warm water next time he sleeps

Actions not to take when somebody draws a dick on your face:

1: Beat the crap out of him

You stick his hand in a bucket of water, you've given him the green light to keep pranking.

You get cleaned up- you drag his ass out of bed, tell him never to do anything like this again or he's a goner.  Give him a choice of a broken rib or a black eye after that.  While he's deciding make the choice for ghim.  problem solved


Seriously...have you ever had an interaction with another actual human being?  Because that's not quite how it works.  If you had that much rage I'd go out of the way to fark with you more because it would be very amusing.
2014-05-04 08:53:23 AM  
1 votes:
Actions to take when somebody draws a dick on your face:

1: Wash it off
2: Stick his hand in a bucket of warm water next time he sleeps

Actions not to take when somebody draws a dick on your face:

1: Beat the crap out of him
2014-05-04 08:26:59 AM  
1 votes:
You have to be a total psycho to do that, and to have your lawyer argue that you suffered because jail inmates made fun of you to the court.
2014-05-04 08:12:31 AM  
1 votes:
I think the response would've been different if he wasn't drunk and tired. Back in the day someone shaved my arm pits and legs when I passed out. Rage was flowing through my hairless body when I woke up, but after my hangover went away, I felt relaxed, soft and smooth. csb
2014-05-04 07:52:43 AM  
1 votes:

Mark Ratner: He assaulted his roommate for a harmless prank? What a dickhead.


They are in their 30s, it is time to grow up and leave the drunken frat house.

Draw a penis on your face in permanent marker and see how "harmless" it is as you go to work etc.

Broken nose and  black eye seems an appropriate level  of response without bringing scumsuckingmaggotlawyers into it.
2014-05-04 07:05:51 AM  
1 votes:

robohobo: Big Ramifications: robohobo: Big Ramifications: MysteryGuest: Yeah, well I bet the marker assault guy won't feel the need do it again. That ain't funny-he gets zero sympathy from me.

Grow up.

Grow up? Really? He could have went full biatch and claimed sexual harassment. As it is, all he did was throw a few punches. Easy-peasy-Japaneasy. Should have ended there. Sometimes actions have consequences. Has this been a woman who had a dick drawn on her face, and said woman beat up the guy, I'm sure reactions would be different.

Learn how to laugh at yourself.

PUNCHING ON???? Breaking someone's nose while they are ASLEEP????

You idiot.

Actions have consequences. He was drawn on while asleep. With a farking COCK. Did he go overboard? Maybe, But if you fark with people, don't expect to no be farked with back,  Cause guess what? That's how real life works. This guy clearly knew the victim would take a good deal of offense to having a dick drawn on his face, yet did it anyway. Consequences, biatch.


Well, I think that's why he got his sentence suspended. It's a way the court can say "You can't really do shiat like this, but we acknowledge that you were provoked".
2014-05-04 06:53:16 AM  
1 votes:

robohobo: Big Ramifications: MysteryGuest: Yeah, well I bet the marker assault guy won't feel the need do it again. That ain't funny-he gets zero sympathy from me.

Grow up.

Grow up? Really? He could have went full biatch and claimed sexual harassment. As it is, all he did was throw a few punches. Easy-peasy-Japaneasy. Should have ended there. Sometimes actions have consequences. Has this been a woman who had a dick drawn on her face, and said woman beat up the guy, I'm sure reactions would be different.


Learn how to laugh at yourself.

PUNCHING ON???? Breaking someone's nose while they are ASLEEP????

You idiot.
2014-05-04 06:52:39 AM  
1 votes:

moothemagiccow: Creoena: Fark_Guy_Rob: Signs you might suck at life:

1.)  You are 30 and have roommates

[img.4plebs.org image 250x272]
/Maybe you own a home and rent a room for extra income
//Or you were laid off
///Or went though a nasty divorce
////I doubt any apply to these idiots but that's one of the most idiotic statements I've read on fark all morning

Pretty sure going through a nasty divorce is a sign you suck at life


So, the soldier who gets deployed to Afghanistan, Iraq, etc and comes back to find his wife divorcing him because he "wasn't around enough" sucks at life?
2014-05-04 06:45:52 AM  
1 votes:

Big Ramifications: MysteryGuest: Yeah, well I bet the marker assault guy won't feel the need do it again. That ain't funny-he gets zero sympathy from me.

Grow up.


Grow up? Really? He could have went full biatch and claimed sexual harassment. As it is, all he did was throw a few punches. Easy-peasy-Japaneasy. Should have ended there. Sometimes actions have consequences. Has this been a woman who had a dick drawn on her face, and said woman beat up the guy, I'm sure reactions would be different.
2014-05-04 06:27:38 AM  
1 votes:

marksman: I thought it was international law that passing out with your shoes on warrants others to draw on you.


It is.
It's also international law that drawing on someone may result in an ass beating.
2014-05-04 05:36:31 AM  
1 votes:
Came here for some Dave Chapelle "we stuck a carrot up his ass".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uvg-ug9CvE
2014-05-04 05:26:06 AM  
1 votes:

Betep: mirror function on his phone

I guess I'm old.


Oh, I know, right? These kids, Remember the good old days when you would have to walk all the way to the night privy closet and actually look in the looking-glass mounted over the lavabo?
2014-05-04 04:00:56 AM  
1 votes:
fta Watson said he tried but could not remove the penis drawing from his face.

Just keep rubbing it. You'll get it off.
2014-05-04 01:37:50 AM  
1 votes:
He assaulted his roommate for a harmless prank? What a dickhead.
 
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