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(Patch)   Don't blame Christian Mingle when your naked housekeeping fantasy goes bad and the strange woman you brought to your trailer beats you with a bat   (tinleypark.patch.com) divider line 41
    More: Weird, OMGPD, blame Christian, TGI Friday's Inc., Elmhurst, batting, Northbrook, Chicagoland, Chicago River  
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6677 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 May 2014 at 5:32 PM (11 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-03 03:55:59 PM
first, link to the damn original article instead of a compilation of assorted blurbs.

second, it was the 'homeowner' who beat the 'stranger' with a bat.

I get it that subby's generally lack reading comprehension, but the Fark admins can do better than this.
 
2014-05-03 03:58:00 PM

calbert: first, link to the damn original article instead of a compilation of assorted blurbs.


Amen to that.

And you really have to read the whole story.  That summary doesn't do it justice.  They even managed to work in Vietnam.
 
2014-05-03 05:28:27 PM
A Park Forest woman told a judge she wanted a "slave" to photograph her doing some naked housekeeping

You're doing it wrong.
 
2014-05-03 05:38:12 PM
So, the people on ChristianMingle aren't barely 18's with amazing cleavage? Huh...
 
2014-05-03 05:38:29 PM

calbert: second, it was the 'homeowner' who beat the 'stranger' with a bat.


Thank god. I was afraid I was going to have to go Christian Mingle.
 
2014-05-03 05:44:12 PM
*scans headline*


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-03 05:44:54 PM

fusillade762: A Park Forest woman told a judge she wanted a "slave" to photograph her doing some naked housekeeping

You're doing it wrong.


well.. if its a cuckholding type of thing maybe...

also.. it's possible to be what's called a "switch"


I think we can all agree that everyone involved in this story is a twit.
 
2014-05-03 05:45:17 PM
There's gotta be a market for dial-a-fetish.com
 
2014-05-03 05:47:48 PM

Lsherm: calbert: first, link to the damn original article instead of a compilation of assorted blurbs.

Amen to that.

And you really have to read the whole story.  That summary doesn't do it justice.  They even managed to work in Vietnam.


Reporting these days really sucks. Not one mention of the other side of the story?
 
2014-05-03 05:48:24 PM
I like places like ChristianMingle.com and their variants (most of which are owned by the same set of companies) as they help keep the fringe element out of the regular sites. Anyone who wants to go to one of the specialty sites is probably not someone regular people want to date anyways. Everyone wins.
 
2014-05-03 05:50:02 PM
Williams said she turned in to, and climbed in bed with her two dogs.

I don't know if I want to keep reading. Ah hell, I've made it this far...
 
2014-05-03 05:52:00 PM
Larry Flynt Middle School: Two middle school boys in Barrington got a head start on a career in online porn by texting nude photos of female classmates to the rest of their school

How did you not see this coming?
 
2014-05-03 05:52:36 PM
The same thing often happened to Jesus.
 
2014-05-03 05:56:17 PM

Cerebral Knievel: well.. if its a cuckholding type of thing maybe...


Here ... hold my cuck.
 
2014-05-03 06:01:50 PM

Apos: *scans headline*


[25.media.tumblr.com image 300x188]


yeah....this
 
2014-05-03 06:03:27 PM
But setting aside all the dominatrix/slave, nude housekeeping, economy-sized wine bottles, etc., etc., and etc. -- seriously, why was this woman found guilty? Somebody attacks her inside her home and she defends herself. Isn't that allowed? Or did the guilty action occur when she "hit her one or two more times" after forcing her out?
 
2014-05-03 06:05:16 PM

Apos: *scans headline*


[25.media.tumblr.com image 300x188]


I've tried to count how many individual reactions are in that one shot, and I just can't do it.
 
2014-05-03 06:07:08 PM
What in the actual fark?
 
2014-05-03 06:10:25 PM
That's why I use OkCupid.
 
2014-05-03 06:14:31 PM
Since nobody has said it yet:

The Aristocrats!
 
2014-05-03 06:18:06 PM
I like economy sized women. Cheaper per pound.
 
2014-05-03 06:19:21 PM

Lsherm: They even managed to work in Vietnam.


Dude, what's your point?

mimg.ugo.com
 
2014-05-03 06:20:59 PM
and then dragged her by the hair out of bed, ostensibly to rape her.

Wait, she dragged her out of bed to rape her?

Sense: this makes none.
 
2014-05-03 06:25:40 PM

Hilary T. N. Seuss: But setting aside all the dominatrix/slave, nude housekeeping, economy-sized wine bottles, etc., etc., and etc. -- seriously, why was this woman found guilty? Somebody attacks her inside her home and she defends herself. Isn't that allowed? Or did the guilty action occur when she "hit her one or two more times" after forcing her out?


It's not clear, however, eating at TGI Friday's was the first of many poor decisions that night.....
 
2014-05-03 06:33:39 PM

audiblesmile: however, eating at TGI Friday's was the first of many poor decisions that night.....


And THAT decision they made sober!

/stranger and stranger...
 
2014-05-03 06:43:45 PM

calbert: first, link to the damn original article instead of a compilation of assorted blurbs.

second, it was the 'homeowner' who beat the 'stranger' with a bat.

I get it that subby's generally lack reading comprehension, but the Fark admins can do better than this.


Nope. These points haven't been made enough for us to be switching to tfa yet.

Yes, I'm serious. Mods, admins, whoever: would you please change the link directly to tfa instead of this middleman-paragraph crap link? And seriously Subby, you need to explain: wtf?

Also, would someone of the Powers That Be on Fark do something already about these poor reading comprehension headlines? There are more and more of them coming through and it's damaging my calm. And my Fark fandom. And that's not just the voices in my head, others are complaining too.
 
2014-05-03 06:54:57 PM
I love the details: the original story could have only been written by a graduate of the Ric Romero School of Journalism:

The women then headed back to Williams' trailer after first stopping at a liquor store to buy two large bottles of wine-"They're more economical," Williams said.
 
2014-05-03 06:55:12 PM

Hilary T. N. Seuss: But setting aside all the dominatrix/slave, nude housekeeping, economy-sized wine bottles, etc., etc., and etc. -- seriously, why was this woman found guilty? Somebody attacks her inside her home and she defends herself. Isn't that allowed? Or did the guilty action occur when she "hit her one or two more times" after forcing her out

it was treated as a domestic

situation and not a home invasion.
 
2014-05-03 07:04:26 PM
I blame Christian Mingle for shutting down the annual live cam shows on "Palm Sunday." Wtf?

/and don't get me started on ending "Ass Wednesday"
 
2014-05-03 07:30:51 PM

brimed03: calbert: first, link to the damn original article instead of a compilation of assorted blurbs.

second, it was the 'homeowner' who beat the 'stranger' with a bat.

I get it that subby's generally lack reading comprehension, but the Fark admins can do better than this.

Nope. These points haven't been made enough for us to be switching to tfa yet.

Yes, I'm serious. Mods, admins, whoever: would you please change the link directly to tfa instead of this middleman-paragraph crap link? And seriously Subby, you need to explain: wtf?

Also, would someone of the Powers That Be on Fark do something already about these poor reading comprehension headlines? There are more and more of them coming through and it's damaging my calm. And my Fark fandom. And that's not just the voices in my head, others are complaining too.


The thing you have to understand is that these things 'foster discussion'.
 
2014-05-03 07:54:33 PM
What a story!  It sure is getting dusty in here.
 
2014-05-03 08:15:34 PM
Sometimes, you wait for God to act, when he's really waiting for YOU to make the decision.
 
2014-05-03 08:27:41 PM

DoctorCal: brimed03: calbert: first, link to the damn original article instead of a compilation of assorted blurbs.

second, it was the 'homeowner' who beat the 'stranger' with a bat.

I get it that subby's generally lack reading comprehension, but the Fark admins can do better than this.

Nope. These points haven't been made enough for us to be switching to tfa yet.

Yes, I'm serious. Mods, admins, whoever: would you please change the link directly to tfa instead of this middleman-paragraph crap link? And seriously Subby, you need to explain: wtf?

Also, would someone of the Powers That Be on Fark do something already about these poor reading comprehension headlines? There are more and more of them coming through and it's damaging my calm. And my Fark fandom. And that's not just the voices in my head, others are complaining too.

The thing you have to understand is that these things 'foster discussion'.


Yes, but then the Fark filters replace all the important words we use in those discussions.
 
2014-05-03 08:32:41 PM
Where are the naked house keeping pics?
 
2014-05-03 09:08:12 PM
He may have misdialed and got Christian Mangle.
 
2014-05-03 09:18:15 PM
Larry Flynt Middle School
RiiiiiiiiiGHT
 
2014-05-03 09:59:52 PM

Danger Avoid Death: Cerebral Knievel: well.. if its a cuckholding type of thing maybe...

Here ... hold my cuck.


My car came with a cuckholder.
 
2014-05-03 11:12:17 PM
"Find god's match for you."


Cerebral Knievel: Hilary T. N. Seuss: But setting aside all the dominatrix/slave, nude housekeeping, economy-sized wine bottles, etc., etc., and etc. -- seriously, why was this woman found guilty? Somebody attacks her inside her home and she defends herself. Isn't that allowed? Or did the guilty action occur when she "hit her one or two more times" after forcing her out

it was treated as a domestic situation and not a home invasion.


Yeah, that old scam was used up and ruined for the rest of us a long time ago.  If you have invited someone into your home, no matter what the context of the invitation (including "he was drunk and threatening and repeatedly flashing his holstered pistol") before beating someone down, you don't get any special protection for "protecting your home."  It's either a domestic dispute or just straight-up assault as if you'd been out on the street.

To my knowledge it is because too many cases of murder were let off because the person had planned ahead enough to get the person indoors first so they could have a legal excuse.
 
2014-05-04 03:25:44 AM
This whole story sounds batty.
 
2014-05-04 07:57:27 AM
Is that the woman in the picture? Cause if it is, just, no.
 
2014-05-04 11:05:58 AM
Is this a parody site? I looked at some of the other stories and they seemed legit.

No school district would ever choose the name Larry Flynt
 
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