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(NASCAR)   Will Chase Elliott pick up another improbable win? Will the Big One rear its ugly head and leave only a few random drivers to fight for the win? Its the Aaron's 312 at Talladega, coverage on ESPN at 3:00pm EDT   (nascar.com ) divider line 154
    More: Interesting, Talladega, JR Motorsports, Jamie McMurray, firefight, discussion thread, Daytona, parachute, Richard Childress Racing  
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122 clicks; posted to Sports » on 03 May 2014 at 2:30 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-03 12:37:30 PM  
This can also serve for discussion of NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Qualifying at 1pm Eastern.
 
2014-05-03 12:39:06 PM  

Nationwide thread?  MAKE IT SO!  Because...

Are you not sports entertained?

img.photobucket.com

 
2014-05-03 12:43:03 PM  
Also don't forget we're racing on a cursed track today and tomorrow:

Numerous strange occurrences at the track have led to rumors of Talladega Superspeedway being cursed. Stories of the origin of the curse vary. Some claim that a local Native American tribe held horse races in the valley where the track currently resides where a chief was killed when he was thrown from his horse. Others say that the site of the superspeedway was once an Indian burial ground. Still another version says that after the local tribe was driven out by the Creek nation for their collaborating with the forces of Andrew Jackson, a shaman put a curse on the valley.

Since the construction of the track, many strange happenings and untimely deaths have fueled the rumors of a curse. In 1973, Bobby Isaac left his car during the race on lap 90 because of voices he claimed to have heard which told him to park his car and get out. Earlier on lap 14 in the same race, young driver Larry Smith died in a seemingly minor wreck. In 1974, the morning before the Winston 500, drivers and crews alike found multiple cars sabotaged by cut brake lines and sand in the gas tank. During the 1975 Winston 500, Randy Owens, a crew member for Petty Enterprises, was killed by an air tank that exploded in the pits.

To some, Bobby Allison's 1987 wreck described above was yet another reminder of the curse. In 1993, Bobby's son, Davey Allison, died in a helicopter crash in the infield of Talladega. In 1996, Automobile Racing Club of America president Bob Loga died after a traffic accident in a parking area.
 
2014-05-03 01:03:03 PM  

Since we're gonna have a thread hopefully, its time for...


Your weekly NASCAR thread checklist. Just like the NASCAR rulebook; ever-changing and adapted on the fly for today's activities
(Created by DanZero & bluorangefyre, with contributions from Professor Farksworth, QueenMamaBee, Mzltplx, and a bunch of other Fark racing fans!)


1) Every 25th post is "DANICA," every 500th post is "CHECKERED FLAG!" and every 1,100th post is, "Screw the gredunza, I just did the double!"
2) Brian France asking "ARE YOU NOT SPORTS ENTERTAINED?" before the 10th post
3) Somebody comes in with a humorous "left/right turn/going in circles" comment
4) BOOGITY in some form when race starts
5) Idols/Buddhas/Transformers/Reactors being fired up
6) Complaints about TNT & ESPN race coverage (or if in TNT/ESPN coverage, how bad it is and how we pine for FOX again) ONLY VALID FOR 2014!
7) While we were away
8) Green flag pit stops
9) The inevitable race commentator foul up
10) Phantom cautions - pace dingo appears after two, Mr. McMahon appears if it benefits the driver of car #48 and/or the person who probably doesn't deserve to drive car #3, or sets up a closer finish
11) "Austin Dillon driving car number three... the number made famous by the late/great Dale Earnhardt and driven by his brother in Nationwide."
12) MLP deployment ONLY in the following instances: sad Rainbow Dash when Princess Crumplefenders (AKA Danica) inevitably wrecks, happy Rainbow Dash if she's running in the top 20, charging Rainbow Dash if she's in the top 10, and whatever the evil pony is that is the sister of the queen pony if we need some extra mojo to help the idols and Buddhas defeat car #48
13) Complaints and such if Jimmie Johnson wins again and celebrations from his fan(s)
14) Race is official when Kvapil, Reutimann, Wise or Danica bring out the caution (can be more than one)... causes referee dog to be deployed
15) BONUS OFFICIAL RACE: Mikey brings out the yellow
16) Something to do with potato salad and/or sugar free gummi bears
17) SPECIAL BONUS: One of us is actually at the track
18) Something not meant to catch fire does
19) We are reminded about how a track is famous for The Big One/Darlington Stripe/Eating tires/Fuel Mileage races.
20) "Because #3 car"
21) Race is boring... what are you drinking?
22) "Lord baby Jesus, smite Logano's engine!"
23) Somebody asking why they don't run in the rain followed by a quick explaination why its not a good idea
24) "Nevermind that shiat, here comes Dick Trickle!"
25) DanZero's commercial recap from last week and running throughout the thread
26) "But I don'tlike three-wide, it doesn't seem safe."
27)  The Big'un! (Bonus if it occurs in full field knockout qualifying.)
 
2014-05-03 01:07:56 PM  
HERE WE GO! KNOCKOUT QUALIFYING FOR THE SPRINT CUP SERIES!!

http://www.mrn.com/stream.html

MRN Radio with a full compliment of turn announcers and pit reporters!

Introducing first, calling the race from the Front Straightaway....

The voice of the ages BAAARNEEEEEYYYYYY HAAAAALLLLLLL!!!

The level headed straight man JOOOOOEEEE MOOOOOOOOORE!!!

The third wheel and main play-by-play man JEEEEEFFFF STRIIIEEEEGLLLLEE

Introducing next in  TURNS ONE AND TWO....

The co-host of Sirius XM Speedway with Angie Skinner, HE IS DAAAAAAAVE "GODFATHER" MOOOOOODDDYYYY!!

Introducing next calling the action on the  ALABAMA GANG SUPERSTRETCH...

He is THE Bagman, MIIIIIIIKE BAAAAAGLEEEEEY!!

And finally, in  Turns THREE and FOUR

He is "The Young Gun" KYYYLLLEEE RIIIIICKEEEEEEY!!

And now, for the thousands in attendance, and the possibly millions watching at home...

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUUUUMMMMBLLLLEEEEEEEEE!!
 
2014-05-03 01:10:49 PM  

daylol.com

As you, Jommie Ohnsonnnnn, travel to TALLADEGA by conventional means, the normals you travel with experience malfunctions. As you realize ALL THAT IS LEFT is total self-destruction, do you, Jommie Onson, show self pity? DO YOU, JOMMIE ONSON, try to reason why? Do you, Jommie Onson, try and comfort the normals that have even more fear than you? Or, do you, Jommie Onson, kick the doors out? Kick the cockpit door down? Take the two pilots that have already made the sacrifice so that you can face this challenge. Dispose of them, Jommie Onson. Assume the controls, Jommie Onson. SHOVE THAT CONTROL INTO A NOSE DIVE, JOMMIE ONSON! Push yourself to total self-destruction. AS YOU REALIZE, Jommie Onson, you are about to enter a world close to Parts Unknown. Ah, smell it Warriors. DO YOU, Jommie Onson, look for a place to hide? Or do you, Jommie Onson, face that challenge? That may be more powerful THAN EVEN YOU ARE, JOMMIE ONSON! You, Jommie Onson, must self-destruct. So that you will know, Jommie Onson, who is... the chosen one. FOR JOMMIE ONSON, I am not the chosen one that you speak of. I am not. I, Jommie Onson, am the only one.
 
2014-05-03 01:16:30 PM  
Wow Fox's coverage is at least 5 minutes behind.
 
2014-05-03 01:49:01 PM  
Annnnnnnnnnnd we're green!  WOO-HOO!
 
2014-05-03 02:01:24 PM  
Oh, good.  I was looking for a reason to avoid doing anything today.
 
2014-05-03 02:39:35 PM  
NNS racing thread? In my Fark?

Let's do this.
 
2014-05-03 02:41:36 PM  

Professor Farksworth: This can also serve for discussion of NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Qualifying at 1pm Eastern.


..which I completely forgot about and missed. Ah well, let's see how BKR did..

..or i'd LIKE to if NASCAR would post qualifying results anywhere on their labyrinthine euclidean horror of a website
 
2014-05-03 02:43:35 PM  

The Bestest: Professor Farksworth: This can also serve for discussion of NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Qualifying at 1pm Eastern.

..which I completely forgot about and missed. Ah well, let's see how BKR did..

..or i'd LIKE to if NASCAR would post qualifying results anywhere on their labyrinthine euclidean horror of a website


Brian Scott kids on the pole in the 33 car. SHR all in the top 12.

HWSNBN is somewhere back in the 20s.
 
2014-05-03 02:45:33 PM  
ah, ok.. found then.. wha.. Brian Scott on the pole? Well alright then.

..and I STILL can't find a list of the full field..

why does this site suck SO much?
 
2014-05-03 02:45:57 PM  
And yes....the DogeCar will be racing tomorrow.

Joe Nemechek and Dave Blaney....not so much.
 
2014-05-03 02:47:07 PM  

The Bestest: ah, ok.. found then.. wha.. Brian Scott on the pole? Well alright then.

..and I STILL can't find a list of the full field..

why does this site suck SO much?


I don't know. I haven't been there since they re-did the site and ditched the old NASCAR chat.

That's where I was on RaceDay before finding this place.
 
2014-05-03 02:48:28 PM  

The Bestest: ah, ok.. found then.. wha.. Brian Scott on the pole? Well alright then.

..and I STILL can't find a list of the full field..

why does this site suck SO much?


Pretty sure all 3 BKR cars made the field, at least. Bowman was near the top at the start of qualifying, but couldn't hold it.
 
2014-05-03 02:51:17 PM  

Mztlplx: Pretty sure all 3 BKR cars made the field, at least


I'm assuming.. since all the site will tell me is who didn't qualify (McClure, Blaney, Yeley, Nemechek)
 
2014-05-03 02:53:50 PM  
I watched qualifying. The new format at 'Dega means teams try to run together (like SHR did) because it gives them their own little drafting pack.

It was surprisingly clean, tho. KyBu scraped a wall, and Mikey was Mikey, but no major damage was incurred.
 
2014-05-03 02:55:05 PM  
I'm now very curious how much camera time Fox will give DogeCar
 
2014-05-03 02:58:14 PM  
It got a mention and about 10 seconds of solo camera time during quals.

/gave the crowdsourcing credit to Reddit
 
2014-05-03 03:07:37 PM  
Stuck at my real job today. With no internet. You Farkers better be entertaining and informative. Was at the track the last couple days and back tomorrow. Cool cars out there. Gorgeous weather.
 
2014-05-03 03:09:17 PM  

Mztlplx: I watched qualifying. The new format at 'Dega means teams try to run together (like SHR did) because it gives them their own little drafting pack.

It was surprisingly clean, tho. KyBu scraped a wall, and Mikey was Mikey, but no major damage was incurred.


That could mean a wild Aaron's 312.

They're overdue for a really Big One.
 
2014-05-03 03:11:57 PM  

Mztlplx: /gave the crowdsourcing credit to Reddit


We need to step up our game then. I wonder if we could get a Fark sponsored car..
 
2014-05-03 03:12:34 PM  

The Bestest: Mztlplx: /gave the crowdsourcing credit to Reddit

We need to step up our game then. I wonder if we could get a Fark sponsored car..


We're too lazy.
 
2014-05-03 03:14:03 PM  
I like Chase Elliott. But there ought to be an NNS entry in the checklist for "OMG! It's Awesome Bill's son!!1!1".
 
2014-05-03 03:14:48 PM  

crotchgrabber: The Bestest: Mztlplx: /gave the crowdsourcing credit to Reddit

We need to step up our game then. I wonder if we could get a Fark sponsored car..

We're too lazy.


And I don't think a car with lootie on the hood, squirrel nuts on the fenders and 900 different beer logos would go over well.
 
2014-05-03 03:16:00 PM  

crotchgrabber: The Bestest: Mztlplx: /gave the crowdsourcing credit to Reddit

We need to step up our game then. I wonder if we could get a Fark sponsored car..

We're too lazy.


I'd bet we could get BKR to run an "It's Not Racing, It's FARK.com" car.
 
2014-05-03 03:17:46 PM  

crotchgrabber: crotchgrabber: The Bestest: Mztlplx: /gave the crowdsourcing credit to Reddit

We need to step up our game then. I wonder if we could get a Fark sponsored car..

We're too lazy.

And I don't think a car with lootie on the hood, squirrel nuts on the fenders and 900 different beer logos would go over well.


Heh.
 
2014-05-03 03:19:16 PM  

Mztlplx: crotchgrabber: crotchgrabber: The Bestest: Mztlplx: /gave the crowdsourcing credit to Reddit

We need to step up our game then. I wonder if we could get a Fark sponsored car..

We're too lazy.

And I don't think a car with lootie on the hood, squirrel nuts on the fenders and 900 different beer logos would go over well.

Heh.


Hey Jensaarai...you'll read thru this eventually abd you have that car designer program...make it so!
 
2014-05-03 03:19:48 PM  
Eating lunch, lets go this going ....over and under before the first wreck 15 laps ??
 
2014-05-03 03:21:12 PM  
Ah good. DammitLarson is running.
 
2014-05-03 03:21:19 PM  

Mztlplx: Mztlplx: crotchgrabber: crotchgrabber: The Bestest: Mztlplx: /gave the crowdsourcing credit to Reddit

We need to step up our game then. I wonder if we could get a Fark sponsored car..

We're too lazy.

And I don't think a car with lootie on the hood, squirrel nuts on the fenders and 900 different beer logos would go over well.

Heh.

Hey Jensaarai...you'll read thru this eventually abd you have that car designer program...make it so!


Can the car number be pi? Either just the symbol or about 30 digets?
 
2014-05-03 03:22:39 PM  

AngryDesertDweller: Eating lunch, lets go this going ....over and under before the first wreck 15 laps ??


I'll take lap 3 for the first one.
 
2014-05-03 03:25:23 PM  
So no driver since 2009 has won this race when they led at the white flag?
 
2014-05-03 03:26:23 PM  
GREENAGE!!
 
2014-05-03 03:27:20 PM  

Professor Farksworth: So no driver since 2009 has won this race when they led at the white flag?


That always made me feel like the race should only be three laps.
 
2014-05-03 03:31:09 PM  
If this keeps up we're gonna see a big 'un early.
 
2014-05-03 03:31:23 PM  
Looks like every other car has yellow tape on the rear bumper.

This could be interesting.
 
2014-05-03 03:40:29 PM  
Wonder if Goodyear has brought a differnt tire today. We'll find out about lap 35 or so, I think.
 
2014-05-03 03:40:32 PM  

Mztlplx: Looks like every other car has yellow tape on the rear bumper.

This could be interesting.


That's what I'm hoping anyway. I figured we'd have more people in this thread.
 
2014-05-03 03:42:13 PM  

Professor Farksworth: Mztlplx: Looks like every other car has yellow tape on the rear bumper.

This could be interesting.

That's what I'm hoping anyway. I figured we'd have more people in this thread.


Saturday NNS threads are rare. I figure puerile well find us as the race progresses.
 
2014-05-03 03:43:04 PM  
Puerile? Stoopid automistake...
 
2014-05-03 03:46:44 PM  
24 laps in and still a single pack.
 
2014-05-03 03:52:19 PM  
Wow, NNS thread?

/while we were away
 
2014-05-03 03:53:31 PM  
Um..Rusty...aluminum parts don't flop around in the end like that. It's tape.
 
2014-05-03 03:53:48 PM  
The announcers are promising, PROMISING pit road lulz
 
2014-05-03 03:57:59 PM  
I guess that met the minimum requirement for lulz
 
2014-05-03 03:58:44 PM  
In my ongoing effort to pimp out sports car racing and all things Laguna Seca... The Tudor race will be on FS1 tomorrow. First race is one eastern, second at 5:30. Keep your eyes out for me. During the early race I'll be the professional looking gentleman with a radio, during the second i will be the sloppy drunk guy.
 
2014-05-03 04:01:17 PM  
funny how they are no longer throwing the teams under the bus about tire problems lately like they were earlier this year.
 
2014-05-03 04:03:23 PM  
Get out of the way, Dillon, you're holding up the line.
 
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