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(Some Guy)   You're free to do what you want, but if you put your wallet in your back pocket instead of the front one, you're a terrible person and no one will ever love you   (explodingunicorn.com) divider line 209
    More: Amusing, Biggest Mistake, wallets, International Council  
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13553 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 May 2014 at 3:05 PM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



209 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-03 11:42:46 AM
The only time I had my wallet lifted was when it was in my front pocket. Went back into the crowd I had just passed through, several wallets on the ground and I found mine. Money was gone but everything else was there. Friggin Romas.
 
2014-05-03 12:08:41 PM
I got too much going on up front already...
 
2014-05-03 12:21:13 PM
Nearly 1,300 words. Seems like the very definition of "too much time on one's hands."
 
2014-05-03 12:21:32 PM
progressforge.com
 
2014-05-03 12:35:22 PM
The jokes on you, I don't even carry a wallet.
 
2014-05-03 12:36:42 PM

Shostie: Nearly 1,300 words. Seems like the very definition of "too much time on one's hands."


Or paid by the word.
 
2014-05-03 01:31:54 PM
I keep my wallet in my front pockets

Why? Because I am lazy.
 
2014-05-03 01:34:16 PM
This blog sucks. Although I will admit I will carry my wallet in my front pocket but only when in large congested crowds (which, living in Maine and not being a social animal, rarely happens). Otherwise it's going in the back.
 
2014-05-03 01:35:13 PM
The fact that I've been carrying my wallet in my front pocket since my taxi driving days doesn't prevent me from wanting to cry at how stupid that article was.
 
2014-05-03 01:56:03 PM

edmo: I got too much going on up front already...


I bet.
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-03 02:01:44 PM
I'm a front pocketer as well. I like to be balanced - wallet and keys on one side, cell phone on the other.
 
2014-05-03 02:14:12 PM

TuteTibiImperes: I'm a front pocketer as well. I like to be balanced - wallet and keys on one side, cell phone on the other.


Damn, you figured out my system!
 
2014-05-03 02:21:28 PM
Front pocket. My dad taught me to keep it in the back pocket, but sometime in my midtwenties, I started getting odd pains in my hip on that side and figured it had to be due to sitting on the damn thing too much. Switched to front, and after a couple weeks, the pain went away, and I've never looked back.
 
2014-05-03 02:35:52 PM

TuteTibiImperes: I'm a front pocketer as well. I like to be balanced - wallet and keys on one side, cell phone on the other.


my logic as well.
only thing that generally goes in the back are receipts or change.
 
2014-05-03 02:37:55 PM
Also, I figure its probably harder (although not impossible) to steal out of the front than the back.
 
2014-05-03 03:10:35 PM
Front pocket? Might as well carry a purse.
 
2014-05-03 03:12:17 PM
My wallet stays in my front pocket because of my back.
 
2014-05-03 03:13:28 PM
FTA "A thousand years ago, everyone thought the earth was flat."


I  don't care if it is a joke. I hate this author.
 
2014-05-03 03:14:52 PM
Dude, stop staring at my ass.
 
2014-05-03 03:15:04 PM
Front pocket keeps the front region so hot and sweaty it's like a pair of speedbags left out in the rain down there. Back pocket is like sitting on a bad rocking chair.
 
2014-05-03 03:15:17 PM
I keep the wallet in the back and my money in the front.

Take my wallet... it's empty.
 
2014-05-03 03:15:38 PM
Left front: Phone
Right front: Wallet
Left rear: Spare change/receipts/scrap paper/miscellaneous
Right rear: Keys

A man's arrangement.
 
2014-05-03 03:16:03 PM
I carry mine in my back pocket, but that's because most womens jeans just have a free sample of a front pocket that things fall out of. My wallet will not fit in my front pocket even though it's a small tri-fold.
 
2014-05-03 03:16:18 PM
When you say you carry your wallet in your "front pocket" do you mean the vagina you grew the day you decided to stop carrying it in the back pocket like a real man?
 
2014-05-03 03:16:23 PM

Secret Agent X23: Front pocket. My dad taught me to keep it in the back pocket, but sometime in my midtwenties, I started getting odd pains in my hip on that side and figured it had to be due to sitting on the damn thing too much. Switched to front, and after a couple weeks, the pain went away, and I've never looked back.


That's why out take it out when you sit down (if feasible... E.g. At work, everything in my pockets goes into a locked drawer, except for my chellphone)
 
2014-05-03 03:16:32 PM
Got similar advice about where to carry my potato...

/doesn't everyone carry a potato with them?
 
2014-05-03 03:16:42 PM

grokca: Shostie: Nearly 1,300 words. Seems like the very definition of "too much time on one's hands."

Or paid by the word.


Nothing chaps me more than reading an article written by some Dave Berry wannabe hack. I only made to around the 200 word mark.
 
2014-05-03 03:16:46 PM
I don't know, wallets are flat and (comparatively) soft. If I'm going to be sitting, I'd rather sit on a wallet than my keys or cellphone. It also depends largely on the types of clothes you wear; I've never owned a pair of jeans that didn't let my wallet brush up against my ass, and I prefer a loose fit. If someone can jack me without me noticing, at least they honed a skill in order to make their money.
 
2014-05-03 03:17:57 PM
If you manage to fart on things that are in your pocket, and you are doing so regularly, please see a doctor. Everybody who has to share space with you during the day will thank you, trust me.
 
2014-05-03 03:18:07 PM

Twitch Boy: Left front: Phone
Right front: Wallet
Left rear: Spare change/receipts/scrap paper/miscellaneous
Right rear: Keys

A man's arrangement.


A real man would keep his keys on a 'biner hanging off his hip or in his Carhart jacket pocket.
 
2014-05-03 03:18:10 PM
Thank God I keep my wallet in my front pocket. It means I am LOVED! Thank you, Ju-he-sus. (breaks down weeping).
 
2014-05-03 03:19:04 PM

Farty McPooPants: Got similar advice about where to carry my potato...

/doesn't everyone carry a potato with them?


Only in my Speedos. The front of the Speedos. Not the back of the Speedos. That is important.
 
2014-05-03 03:20:05 PM
You keep your cards in the left front pocket of your jacket. You keep your bills in a clip in the right inside pocket of your jacket (the one with the button so you can keep it kind-of closed). And you keep your loose change, well, anywhere really. Just remember to offload it in the evening in the kitchen drawer.

Oh, and when you've reached twentyfive, you STOP wearing jeans, and you start wearing normal pants. And a jacket. Like a proper person.
 
2014-05-03 03:20:14 PM
This dude farts out of the middle of his right butt cheek?
 
2014-05-03 03:20:30 PM
Due to the size of my junk, it just won't fit in the front pocket.
 
2014-05-03 03:21:30 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: When you say you carry your wallet in your "front pocket" do you mean the vagina you grew the day you decided to stop carrying it in the back pocket like a real man?


What a real man looks like:

img.fark.net
(Which one? Doesn't matter, they're all real men that conform to what they're told to be.)
 
2014-05-03 03:22:12 PM
Men fart through their buttocks?

I had no idea.
 
2014-05-03 03:22:13 PM
Front pockets all the way.

What really blows my mind is guys who sit down at a bar and the first thing they do is take their keys out of their pockets and out them on the bar/bar table.  Long long time ago my buddies and I were at a bar and these other guys started messing with us.  Escalated a little bit to getting in each other's faces and a little pushing.  While this was going on I went over to their table and swiped 3 sets of keys off their table.  Betch they had a fun time getting home and into where they lived at 1am on a Sunday morning.
 
2014-05-03 03:22:50 PM

Secret Agent X23: Front pocket. My dad taught me to keep it in the back pocket, but sometime in my midtwenties, I started getting odd pains in my hip on that side and figured it had to be due to sitting on the damn thing too much. Switched to front, and after a couple weeks, the pain went away, and I've never looked back.


The dreaded "Costanza spine."

I've always carried mine in the front since 60 minutes did a show in the late 80's about pickpockets and they all agreed that there were two places it was way more difficult to pick your pocket:  your front pocket (especially if you're sitting) and the breast pocket of your suit jacket.  So if I'm wearing a jacket - into the breast pocket.  Otherwise it's the front.
 
2014-05-03 03:23:48 PM
Front pocketer. Actually just switch to a wallet specially designed for front pockets.

Me sitting on a wallet for more than 5 minutes causes extreme back pain. So I stopped doing that.
 
2014-05-03 03:24:46 PM
I took me until I was 45 to realize the righteousness of carrying my wallet in my front pocket, and sitting down to pee.
 
2014-05-03 03:24:58 PM
Front pocket forever and always for me.

Back pocket is for crap receipts that I'm holding till I find a trash can, maps of the zoo, etc.

And if you ever visit Vegas and take a cab, your cab driver will also recommend you to put your wallet in your front pocket so you don't get pickpocketed.
 
2014-05-03 03:26:40 PM
Any guy who keeps their wallet in the back pocket is asking for it to be stolen.
 
2014-05-03 03:28:20 PM

Unoriginal_Username: My wallet stays in my front pocket because of my back.


This.
Carried my wallet in my back pocket for decades.  Back problems.
Moved it to front pocket.  Much less back problem.
Fatass status constant through out.

/Fatasstatus will be the name of my Meatloaf  tribute band.
 
2014-05-03 03:28:28 PM
You're free to do what you want, but your blog sucks.
 
2014-05-03 03:28:53 PM
Front left: Cigarettes and lighter
Front right: Wallet and keys
Shirt pocket: Cell phone

Back pockets are for cans of beer, receipts, and any random trash I need to carry to a garbage can.
 
2014-05-03 03:29:30 PM

Lsherm: Secret Agent X23: Front pocket. My dad taught me to keep it in the back pocket, but sometime in my midtwenties, I started getting odd pains in my hip on that side and figured it had to be due to sitting on the damn thing too much. Switched to front, and after a couple weeks, the pain went away, and I've never looked back.

The dreaded "Costanza spine."

I've always carried mine in the front since 60 minutes did a show in the late 80's about pickpockets and they all agreed that there were two places it was way more difficult to pick your pocket:  your front pocket (especially if you're sitting) and the breast pocket of your suit jacket.  So if I'm wearing a jacket - into the breast pocket.  Otherwise it's the front.


bobarno.com
 
2014-05-03 03:29:37 PM
Back pocket here.  I want my wallet where i'll notice if it's being taken.  The front pockets are too big for that.
 
2014-05-03 03:30:16 PM
I'm just surprised none of you carry man bags.
 
2014-05-03 03:31:47 PM
Sometimes I carry 2 wallets, 1 in each back pocket. That why buttocks look full and voluptuous.
 
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