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(10 News)   Not news: Girl brings home made cupcakes to school to share with her class. News: Cupcakes with ingredients such as mayonnaise, barbecue sauce and soy sauce. Fark: The school calls police in to test that there is no bodily fluids in them   (10news.com) divider line 47
    More: Weird, barbecue sauce, mayonnaise, A Bakersfield, cupcakes, pubic hair  
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5563 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 May 2014 at 7:35 AM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-03 01:12:16 AM
No wasabi????
blog.circuitprotection.com
 
2014-05-03 07:12:32 AM
A student at Centennial High School contacted 10News' Scripps sister station 23ABC and said that the female 10th grader put pubic hair, semen, expired food and pills into the cupcakes.

What kind of pills?
 
2014-05-03 07:36:50 AM
Headline written by Ali G.
 
2014-05-03 07:44:07 AM
As usual, an individual talking sh*t for no reason other than to feel his lips flapping in the breeze manages to get police involved.
 
2014-05-03 07:44:45 AM
This "story" reads like it was written by a third-grader.
 
2014-05-03 07:52:17 AM
I got to bring short swords (not sharpened) to class for a book report in my youth. I also had a bully who used to shove me into lockers. That day, i managed to see him coming up the hallwith blood in his eye, so i held my bag between me and him. He ended up with stiches, and everyone, including the teachers who saw it, said it was entirly his fault. He never shoved me again. These kids just figured out the rule "don't trust someone you pick on."
 
2014-05-03 07:53:23 AM
revenge is a snack best served cold

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-03 07:54:07 AM
"Students also told 23ABC that they were notified of a new policy at the school Friday stating that no outside food is allowed to be brought to the school "

Jesus farking tapdancing Christ....
 
2014-05-03 07:55:05 AM

whooter: This "story" reads like it was written by a third-grader.


Kero wrote it 3 times.
 
2014-05-03 07:56:11 AM
So let me get this straight... A student distributed a bunch of semen laced cupcakes to her enemies at school, but they weren't REALLY semen laced. We know this because the police tested the cupcakes, despite the fact that all of the evidence was destroyed before then could test the cakes. Did I understand that correctly?

/that's some fine reporting there, Lou...
 
2014-05-03 07:57:53 AM

AngryDragon: "Students also told 23ABC that they were notified of a new policy at the school Friday stating that no outside food is allowed to be brought to the school "

Jesus farking tapdancing Christ....



'Here, Billy.  Eat this poison ivy I found growing in the quad.  Its from here in the school, so it's not outside food.  IT's cool, I'm not allergic, and if God loves you, you won't be allergic either.  Just eat it!"


/Billy will likely have trouble once the urushiol oil hits the anus
//actually his throat will probably close up first...
 
2014-05-03 07:58:47 AM
Maybe she's just a terrible cook.
 
2014-05-03 07:58:52 AM
"bodily fluids" "semen filled cupcake"

"laced with semen" "bodily fluids" "bodily fluids" "pubic hair" "semen" "expired food" "pills" "bodily fluids"

"mayonnaise, barbecue sauce and soy sauce"

ABC10: News about tenth graders, for tenth graders, written at the level of lead poisoned tenth graders
 
2014-05-03 08:00:27 AM
In fairness to the school, tfa says it was claimed that the girl herself told them she had put pubic hair and bodily fluids in the cupcakes. Whether she did or not, in today's climate the school had to fully pursue it.

The real victim here is the French class that had to cancel its planned ethnic food day, any similar educational events that might have been held in the future, groups wanting to have bake sales, and the overall social cohesiveness of the school now that friends can't bring in birthday cakes or treats for classmates.

We're getting ever closer to all having to walk around in personal protective bubbles and signing waivers before talking to anyone.
 
2014-05-03 08:02:37 AM
The sure sign of a bad cook is that they call the cops to have the food tested.
 
2014-05-03 08:02:41 AM
Barbecue sauce, mayonnaise and soy sauce - sounds like my type of girl.

Wait. . .they were used as lubricants?
 
2014-05-03 08:08:57 AM

twomutts: So let me get this straight... A student distributed a bunch of semen laced cupcakes to her enemies at school, but they weren't REALLY semen laced. We know this because the police tested the cupcakes, despite the fact that all of the evidence was destroyed before then could test the cakes. Did I understand that correctly?

/that's some fine reporting there, Lou...


So the confusion wasn't entirely because I haven't had my coffee yet.
 
2014-05-03 08:12:25 AM
Is it me or is the tone of the article aimed at making it seem like the girl had done something wrong?
 
2014-05-03 08:15:15 AM

twomutts: So let me get this straight... A student distributed a bunch of semen laced cupcakes to her enemies at school, but they weren't REALLY semen laced. We know this because the police tested the cupcakes, despite the fact that all of the evidence was destroyed before then could test the cakes. Did I understand that correctly?

/that's some fine reporting there, Lou...


I still don't get something here... How were they destroyed to the point they couldn't be tested?  Did they flush the cupcakes down the toilet?  Did they load them up into a rocket and fire them into the sun?  Did they jam them into a sink's garbage disposal?  Were they loaded into the Large Hadron Collider and smashed to atomic bits?  or were they put into a small bag, tied off and thrown into the dumpster, forever ending the chance or performing a test?

Someone should go to jail for tampering with evidence.
 
2014-05-03 08:24:20 AM
You'll notice it took THREE people to write that.

I think, basically, what happened, is that picked-upon girl made nice looking cupcakes for her tormentors, handed them out, and instead of sugar and yummy things, put in soy sauce and BBQ sauce. Great gag!  And then rumour spread that the precious bodily fluids were inside. Maybe she even started said rumour.

Police talked to her and determined that they weren't, she was just pranking.

End of story.
 
2014-05-03 08:25:09 AM

nowaymanblue: twomutts: So let me get this straight... A student distributed a bunch of semen laced cupcakes to her enemies at school, but they weren't REALLY semen laced. We know this because the police tested the cupcakes, despite the fact that all of the evidence was destroyed before then could test the cakes. Did I understand that correctly?

/that's some fine reporting there, Lou...

So the confusion wasn't entirely because I haven't had my coffee yet.


Yeah. I'm about halfway through the first cup and I wondered the same thing.
 
2014-05-03 08:26:18 AM
dvdmedia.ign.com

Unimpressed.
 
2014-05-03 08:26:20 AM

AngryDragon: "Students also told 23ABC that they were notified of a new policy at the school Friday stating that no outside food is allowed to be brought to the school "

Jesus farking tapdancing Christ....


So they outlawed brown-bag school lunches? Sure. If so, then it's lawsuit season in Bakersfield.

This article was written by 3 people and it still came out that bad? Or maybe that's why it came out so bad.

They probably think the 5 Ws of Journalism are:

Who (stole my ritalin?)
What (was that outside my window?)
When (do I get my next pudding?)
Where (is the nearest Hot Topic?)
Why (am I a journalist?)
 
2014-05-03 08:33:04 AM

JoieD'Zen: whooter: This "story" reads like it was written by a third-grader.

Kero wrote it 3 times.


The editor told him the rewrite it and he said dark that, I'll just make a copy.
 
2014-05-03 08:33:12 AM
Sounds like they are using the high school grape vine as a source of information.

Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
 
2014-05-03 08:34:54 AM

Satanus Maximus: twomutts: So let me get this straight... A student distributed a bunch of semen laced cupcakes to her enemies at school, but they weren't REALLY semen laced. We know this because the police tested the cupcakes, despite the fact that all of the evidence was destroyed before then could test the cakes. Did I understand that correctly?

/that's some fine reporting there, Lou...

I still don't get something here... How were they destroyed to the point they couldn't be tested?  Did they flush the cupcakes down the toilet?  Did they load them up into a rocket and fire them into the sun?  Did they jam them into a sink's garbage disposal?  Were they loaded into the Large Hadron Collider and smashed to atomic bits?  or were they put into a small bag, tied off and thrown into the dumpster, forever ending the chance or performing a test?

Someone should go to jail for tampering with evidence.


It would cost a lot to "test" the cupcakes for all the things she claimed were in them.  I suspect even basic PCR for human DNA would cost a few hundred (and be consistently positive anyway unless the cupcakes were baked by robots in in a cleanroom).  So I'm not sure what the police did to them?
 
2014-05-03 08:38:45 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-03 08:38:55 AM
That journalist sucks arse!

That type of shet is handed out in Journalism 101 to teach editing, rewrites and generally, "DEAR GOD NO!"

/Not amused.
//Somebody needs a dry-smack upside the head.
///Then a firing for good measure.
 
2014-05-03 08:53:52 AM

teto85: No wasabi????
[blog.circuitprotection.com image 800x533]


Or Sriracha? Seems like that's on everything these days.
 
2014-05-03 08:58:14 AM
I'm hoping this was taken from the school newspaper, and some of their classmates wrote this.
 
2014-05-03 09:07:27 AM
Thehelpshiatpie.jpg
 
2014-05-03 09:19:08 AM
If that was true, a person would obviously have at least a partial cupcake, and would surely have kept it for the police.
Since no such thing was found, I hope they arrested the person who made the bogus police call.
 
2014-05-03 09:27:53 AM

redheededstepchild: I got to bring short swords (not sharpened) to class for a book report in my youth. I also had a bully who used to shove me into lockers. That day, i managed to see him coming up the hallwith blood in his eye, so i held my bag between me and him. He ended up with stiches, and everyone, including the teachers who saw it, said it was entirly his fault. He never shoved me again. These kids just figured out the rule "don't trust someone you pick on."


These days, you would have been expelled and possibly arrested.  Zero tolerance, you know.
 
2014-05-03 09:44:39 AM
I made root beer float cupcakes for my girlfriend's daughter's class a couple weeks ago. They had root beer custard in their centers, and I was told that everyone loved them...

img.fark.net

/no pills or bodily substances
 
2014-05-03 09:52:15 AM
Sorry, you can't dust for vomit.
 
2014-05-03 09:56:15 AM
derpicdn.net
Wanted for questioning.
 
2014-05-03 10:00:58 AM

Bslim: Is it me or is the tone of the article aimed at making it seem like the girl had done something wrong?


Telling people they just ate semen and pubic hair is OK?
 
2014-05-03 10:25:05 AM
Yet another takeaway, folks: "Never eat anything offered to you by someone you don't trust."

Why is this so hard to understand? Cupcakes from a victim, drinks from a scumbag, drugs from an asshole - if you don't trust the person, don't ingest the offering. Period.
 
2014-05-03 10:58:23 AM
They should have tested to see if the chemical in the caramel coloring in the BBQ sauce is the one that is giving people lung cancer.
 
2014-05-03 11:05:20 AM

twomutts: So let me get this straight... A student distributed a bunch of semen laced cupcakes to her enemies at school, but they weren't REALLY semen laced. We know this because the police tested the cupcakes, despite the fact that all of the evidence was destroyed before then could test the cakes. Did I understand that correctly?

/that's some fine reporting there, Lou...


And somehow bringing in the health board was discussed.  Were they thinking of taking her restaurant license?

/at least she didn't make herself one poisoned cupcake while they were enjoying theirs.
 
2014-05-03 12:51:06 PM
i1.ytimg.com

BEAT HER. BEAT THE PISS RIGHT OUT OF HER.


mylittlefacewhen.com
 
2014-05-03 01:44:22 PM
blog.comedycentral.co.uk

/really, I'm the Weeners this?
//I know, not cupcakes, but plenty of bodily fluids.
 
2014-05-03 01:45:27 PM
img.fark.net

/oblig
 
2014-05-03 03:11:43 PM
i.imgur.com

/go with cookies
 
2014-05-03 06:14:09 PM

bigworld2000: You'll notice it took THREE people to write that.


Three different people writing different parts of the article without reading each others' sections (particularly the one that wrote the headline without reading the story), and no editor to check the final product?  Still a pretty poor result, but more understandable.
 
2014-05-04 12:16:19 AM
She might find work here:
fubegra.net
/not a shoop
 
2014-05-04 12:17:38 AM

AngryDragon: "Students also told 23ABC that they were notified of a new policy at the school Friday stating that no outside food is allowed to be brought to the school "

Jesus farking tapdancing Christ....


... and now all those little bastards have to buy our foods! BRILLIANT!
 
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