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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Protip: If your bachelor party of 11 finds a dead body in the RV you just rented, be prepared to be fingerprinted and questioned by the police for several hours   (startribune.com) divider line 49
    More: Obvious, exteriors, Hwy  
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4591 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2014 at 8:14 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-02 07:32:35 PM
That would be a Very Bad Thing.
 
2014-05-02 08:00:40 PM
The real news story is that the investigating officers did not attempt to railroad any or all of the party that found the body.
 
2014-05-02 08:18:53 PM

fusillade762: That would be a Very Bad Thing.


Nice one!
 
2014-05-02 08:19:27 PM

Dimensio: The real news story is that the investigating officers did not attempt to railroad any or all of the party that found the body.


Probably did. Guy said they were yelling as they questioned them.

You know, those leet detective skills.
 
2014-05-02 08:21:18 PM
"John Kirk said he and some of the others were alerted that the RV's owner cautioned that the two compartments near the front "do not work and should not be opened.""


Case Closed.
 
2014-05-02 08:22:12 PM

MustardTiger: "John Kirk said he and some of the others were alerted that the RV's owner cautioned that the two compartments near the front "do not work and should not be opened.""


Case Closed.


That would be kind of a tipoff, yeah.
 
2014-05-02 08:22:14 PM

"Authorities have yet to reveal what led to the death or the identity of the body..."


www.stumpedmagazine.com

 
2014-05-02 08:22:44 PM

fusillade762: That would be a Very Bad Thing.


You guys are really pissing me off. This is cutting into my drinking time!
 
2014-05-02 08:24:31 PM

fusillade762: That would be a Very Bad Thing.


Done in one.
 
2014-05-02 08:25:55 PM

fusillade762: That would be a Very Bad Thing.


Stop reading my mind.
 
2014-05-02 08:37:03 PM
This is why you don't snoop in other people's stuff.
 
2014-05-02 08:43:53 PM
Who rents out an RV without getting the body out first? This doesn't pass the smell test.
 
2014-05-02 08:51:29 PM
Protip: if you find a body in your rented RV, return it to the owner and then, if you must, phone in your tip to the cops anonymously.
 
2014-05-02 08:52:22 PM

MustardTiger: "John Kirk said he and some of the others were alerted that the RV's owner cautioned that the two compartments near the front "do not work and should not be opened.""


Case Closed.


"I hired a guy to fix them about 3 months ago, but he disappeared."
 
2014-05-02 08:56:33 PM

jjorsett: Protip: if you find a body in your rented RV, return it to the owner and then, if you must, phone in your tip to the cops anonymously.


Officer some guys just rented and then returned the RV early!
 
2014-05-02 08:58:14 PM
 "So, I'm tendin' bar there at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday, and this little guy's drinkin' and he says, "So where can a guy find some action? I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake." And I says, "What kinda action?" and he says, "Woman action, what do I look like?" And I says, "Well, what do I look like? I don't arrange that kinda thing," and he says, "But I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake," and I says, "Well, this ain't that kinda place."
"Uh-huh."
"So he angrily says, "Oh I get it, so you think I'm some kinda crazy jerk for askin'!" only he doesn't use the word "jerk."
"I understand."
 "And then he calls me a jerk, and says that the last guy who thought he was a jerk is dead now. So I don't say nothin' and he says, "What do ya think about that?" So I says, "Well, that don't sound like too good a deal for him, then."
"Ya got that right."
 "And he says, "Yah, that guy's dead, and I don't mean of old age." And then he just pays his tab and walks out saying, "Geez, I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake!"
 
2014-05-02 08:58:39 PM
Maybe the RVs owner was concerned that the guys might be hungry after partying all weekend.
 
2014-05-02 09:01:13 PM
Cops:  Did you do it?  Cuz if you didn't, it's a real puzzle.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2014-05-02 09:01:28 PM
This beats the joint I found in my last rental.
 
2014-05-02 09:01:57 PM

CruiserTwelve: MustardTiger: "John Kirk said he and some of the others were alerted that the RV's owner cautioned that the two compartments near the front "do not work and should not be opened.""


Case Closed.

"I hired a guy to fix them about 3 months ago, but he disappeared."


Accidental suffocation for $200 Trebek
 
2014-05-02 09:07:55 PM
Epic bachelor party story.
 
2014-05-02 09:13:10 PM

CruiserTwelve: MustardTiger: "John Kirk said he and some of the others were alerted that the RV's owner cautioned that the two compartments near the front "do not work and should not be opened.""


Case Closed.

"I hired a guy to fix them about 3 months ago, but he disappeared."


Ha! "He must have locked himself in there trying to jump out and scare me! That old trickster!"
 
2014-05-02 09:16:13 PM

Billy Liar: "So, I'm tendin' bar there at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday, and this little guy's drinkin' and he says, "So where can a guy find some action? I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake." And I says, "What kinda action?" and he says, "Woman action, what do I look like?" And I says, "Well, what do I look like? I don't arrange that kinda thing," and he says, "But I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake," and I says, "Well, this ain't that kinda place."
"Uh-huh."
"So he angrily says, "Oh I get it, so you think I'm some kinda crazy jerk for askin'!" only he doesn't use the word "jerk."
"I understand."
 "And then he calls me a jerk, and says that the last guy who thought he was a jerk is dead now. So I don't say nothin' and he says, "What do ya think about that?" So I says, "Well, that don't sound like too good a deal for him, then."
"Ya got that right."
 "And he says, "Yah, that guy's dead, and I don't mean of old age." And then he just pays his tab and walks out saying, "Geez, I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake!"


They were kinda funny lookin', the short one was uncircumcised.
 
2014-05-02 09:20:29 PM
Was there a tattoo of a monkey with a peeled banana on the body?
 
2014-05-02 09:25:39 PM

namegoeshere: This beats the joint I found in my last rental.


I'd rather have the joint than the body. But to each their own

They should have just tied the body to a log and kept fishing
 
2014-05-02 09:26:09 PM
Dead bodies do tend to be a buzz kill.
 
2014-05-02 09:27:34 PM
 
2014-05-02 09:33:50 PM

Gyrfalcon: MustardTiger: "John Kirk said he and some of the others were alerted that the RV's owner cautioned that the two compartments near the front "do not work and should not be opened.""


Case Closed.

That would be kind of a tipoff, yeah.


Yet the officers still took them down for further questioning, which means it took them awhile to realize that if the guys were hiding someone they killed, they wouldn't have called the cops.
 
2014-05-02 09:38:01 PM

strife: I'd like to party in Winona (maybe just slightly NSFW)


I really don't want to work where you do.
 
2014-05-02 09:39:20 PM

jjorsett: Protip: if you find a body in your rented RV, return it to the owner and then, if you must, phone in your tip to the cops anonymously.


The cops will then find your fingerprints all over the RV, and you were the last to hire it...

/Hope you have a good lawyer.
 
2014-05-02 09:51:37 PM

lack of warmth: Gyrfalcon: MustardTiger: "John Kirk said he and some of the others were alerted that the RV's owner cautioned that the two compartments near the front "do not work and should not be opened.""


Case Closed.

That would be kind of a tipoff, yeah.

Yet the officers still took them down for further questioning, which means it took them awhile to realize that if the guys were hiding someone they killed, they wouldn't have called the cops.


No...you don't get how police interrogation works, do you? It could have been that the guys killed the victim and then called the cops to divert suspicion; or that one of the guys killed the victim and the rest were innocent; or that none of them killed the victim, but one or more knew who actually did; or that none of them knew anything about the victim but they knew important details about the person who they rented the RV from; or that there were other details in or around the RV that the cops needed to know before releasing them so that when they arrested and questioned the actual owner (and possible killer) they could ask him about those details.

Like the thing about the owner telling them "the front compartments are broken and don't open them." The cops need to know when that was told to the renters, who told them and under what circumstances, why it was brought up in the course of the rental, and what--if anything--the renters asked afterward. And they need to know that BEFORE they talk to the owner so they can't be accused of leading or entrapping him with their subsequent questions.

Because if I was the owner's attorney, and the cops came to him and said "Hey, those guys you rented the RV to said you told them not to open the front compartment, you're under arrest!" I'd say, "That's your PC? Why didn't you arrest them, that's the biggest load of b/s I ever heard! Here's my motion to dismiss, we're out of here."
 
2014-05-02 09:53:17 PM

MorteDiem: strife: I'd like to party in Winona (maybe just slightly NSFW)

I really don't want to work where you do.


I don't really want to work there either! I keed (eh, not really); it's a big law firm.
 
2014-05-02 10:27:30 PM
Can you refuse finger printing? I wouldn't submit voluntarily.
 
2014-05-02 10:34:33 PM

Flint Ironstag: jjorsett: Protip: if you find a body in your rented RV, return it to the owner and then, if you must, phone in your tip to the cops anonymously.

The cops will then find your fingerprints all over the RV, and you were the last to hire it...

/Hope you have a good lawyer.


And from a civic duty standpoint, you're increasing the chance of evidence getting destroyed and the case not getting solved.
 
2014-05-02 10:53:05 PM

jbrooks544: Can you refuse finger printing? I wouldn't submit voluntarily.


Fingerprinting has been proven to be interpretive evidence and not truly scientific.
 
2014-05-02 10:53:55 PM
nextstop.blob.core.windows.net
 
2014-05-02 11:12:18 PM

Billy Liar: "So, I'm tendin' bar there at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday, and this little guy's drinkin' and he says, "So where can a guy find some action? I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake." And I says, "What kinda action?" and he says, "Woman action, what do I look like?" And I says, "Well, what do I look like? I don't arrange that kinda thing," and he says, "But I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake," and I says, "Well, this ain't that kinda place."
"Uh-huh."
"So he angrily says, "Oh I get it, so you think I'm some kinda crazy jerk for askin'!" only he doesn't use the word "jerk."
"I understand."
 "And then he calls me a jerk, and says that the last guy who thought he was a jerk is dead now. So I don't say nothin' and he says, "What do ya think about that?" So I says, "Well, that don't sound like too good a deal for him, then."
"Ya got that right."
 "And he says, "Yah, that guy's dead, and I don't mean of old age." And then he just pays his tab and walks out saying, "Geez, I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake!"


That little guy sounds like a real chipper fellow.
 
2014-05-02 11:35:59 PM
No one cares about the dead bodies on Amtrak.
 
2014-05-02 11:57:02 PM

jbrooks544: Can you refuse finger printing? I wouldn't submit voluntarily.



Careful or they'll use this guy:
thecomicscode.weebly.com

(Probably obscure but I suspect someone will recognize it and agree)
 
2014-05-03 12:01:00 AM
Dammit, right after I hit the post button I find a better pic:
www.devildead.com

Follow the link back to a 2004 Fark thread:

http://www.fark.com/comments/1092315/Woman-sues-restaurant-for-givin g- her-finger-Literally
 
2014-05-03 12:06:03 AM

Gyrfalcon: lack of warmth: Gyrfalcon: MustardTiger: "John Kirk said he and some of the others were alerted that the RV's owner cautioned that the two compartments near the front "do not work and should not be opened.""


Case Closed.

That would be kind of a tipoff, yeah.

Yet the officers still took them down for further questioning, which means it took them awhile to realize that if the guys were hiding someone they killed, they wouldn't have called the cops.

No...you don't get how police interrogation works, do you? It could have been that the guys killed the victim and then called the cops to divert suspicion; or that one of the guys killed the victim and the rest were innocent; or that none of them killed the victim, but one or more knew who actually did; or that none of them knew anything about the victim but they knew important details about the person who they rented the RV from; or that there were other details in or around the RV that the cops needed to know before releasing them so that when they arrested and questioned the actual owner (and possible killer) they could ask him about those details.

Like the thing about the owner telling them "the front compartments are broken and don't open them." The cops need to know when that was told to the renters, who told them and under what circumstances, why it was brought up in the course of the rental, and what--if anything--the renters asked afterward. And they need to know that BEFORE they talk to the owner so they can't be accused of leading or entrapping him with their subsequent questions.

Because if I was the owner's attorney, and the cops came to him and said "Hey, those guys you rented the RV to said you told them not to open the front compartment, you're under arrest!" I'd say, "That's your PC? Why didn't you arrest them, that's the biggest load of b/s I ever heard! Here's my motion to dismiss, we're out of here."


Yeah, nothing about our justice system and the logic of those involved can be called swift.
 
2014-05-03 12:17:20 AM

FarkingStan: Was there a tattoo of a monkey with a peeled banana on the body?


It's Afghanistanimation.
 
2014-05-03 12:30:55 AM
Most people don't report bodies when they find them because they know it means hours of interrogation and their house getting searched.

Eff that noise.

/It's not like you can help the guy.
 
2014-05-03 12:36:19 AM

anotar: jbrooks544: Can you refuse finger printing? I wouldn't submit voluntarily.


Careful or they'll use this guy:
[thecomicscode.weebly.com image 388x209]

(Probably obscure but I suspect someone will recognize it and agree)


Look out, he may shred the pile meant to be copied, and copy the pile meant to be shredded.

/obscure?
 
2014-05-03 12:39:04 AM

jbrooks544: Can you refuse finger printing? I wouldn't submit voluntarily.


The reason its done here is so that when it comes time to dust the RV, they can exclude all the party boys who were in the RV and (presumably) had nothing to do with it. Otherwise, the cops will have dozens of "unidentified" prints and will have to subpoena each and every one of those guys, get their prints and exclude them from the scene. This will hamper the investigation and drag it out unnecessarily.

I get that everyone hates cops and wants to make their lives as difficult as possible; but in this case, why? There's a body in the RV, you didn't put it there, and all they need is your fingerprints so they can screen them from the hundreds of fingerprints all over the RV and find out which ones belong to the possible killer or killers--and not incidentally make sure you are not one of them. The cops can and will get them from you anyway; why not make things a lot easier for everyone?

If they call you back and start asking you questions, you can lawyer up then; but since you already waived your rights by calling the cops and telling them about the body, you may as well cooperate and get yourself excluded right away.
 
2014-05-03 12:41:30 AM

Gyrfalcon: jbrooks544: Can you refuse finger printing? I wouldn't submit voluntarily.

The reason its done here is so that when it comes time to dust the RV, they can exclude all the party boys who were in the RV and (presumably) had nothing to do with it. Otherwise, the cops will have dozens of "unidentified" prints and will have to subpoena each and every one of those guys, get their prints and exclude them from the scene. This will hamper the investigation and drag it out unnecessarily.

I get that everyone hates cops and wants to make their lives as difficult as possible; but in this case, why? There's a body in the RV, you didn't put it there, and all they need is your fingerprints so they can screen them from the hundreds of fingerprints all over the RV and find out which ones belong to the possible killer or killers--and not incidentally make sure you are not one of them. The cops can and will get them from you anyway; why not make things a lot easier for everyone?

If they call you back and start asking you questions, you can lawyer up then; but since you already waived your rights by calling the cops and telling them about the body, you may as well cooperate and get yourself excluded right away.


Er...Ya sure you waive your rights simply by reporting a crime?
 
2014-05-03 02:50:22 AM
This is like a crazy mashup of every bad 1980s movie, with MTV's "Road Rules" thrown in.
 
2014-05-03 08:30:32 AM
Might have been worse if he were alive...
scootwan.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-03 08:31:08 AM
Unavailable for comment:

www.eatsleeplivefilm.com
 
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