If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Not to worry people of Perth, Australia, there's a huge great white shark 'patrolling' the waters right off your beaches making sure no one is leaving leftovers swimming around   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 73
    More: Scary, Australians, Perth, shark attacks, beaches  
•       •       •

6674 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2014 at 4:33 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



73 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-05-02 04:34:41 PM
They're gonna need a bigger continent.
 
2014-05-02 04:35:19 PM
Here's to swimmin' with bow legged women.
 
2014-05-02 04:36:26 PM
why are left overs swimming?

DNRFA
 
2014-05-02 04:38:08 PM

smallerGov: why are left overs swimming?

DNRFA


Must be Korean food.
 
2014-05-02 04:43:07 PM

Russ1642: smallerGov: why are left overs swimming?

DNRFA

Must be Korean food.


I thought the passengers on flight 370 were mostly Chinese.
 
2014-05-02 04:43:08 PM
The Malaysian Airways passengers could be inside of this shark.

CNN should explore this angle.
 
2014-05-02 04:43:16 PM
 
2014-05-02 04:47:10 PM
Perth mayor insists beaches will stay open.

www.overthinkingit.com
 
2014-05-02 04:49:47 PM
I think I'll take my chances with the shark, nowhere near as scary as the vending machines.
 
2014-05-02 04:50:05 PM
Ok, calm down!

Sharks aren't the violent, human killing machines that Hollywood would have us believe they are. Most shark attacks on humans do not result in loss of life.

Most of the time; the shark is just checking if you're a seal. They'll bite you, then say to themselves, "hey, this isn't a seal" and then swim off. Sharks have pretty poor eyesight; they operate more on smell than sight.

/ If you've ever been swimming in an ocean; you were likely within 200 yards of a shark and never knew it.
 
2014-05-02 04:50:33 PM
www.theage.com.au

FTFimdb: Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: "This is Australia, mate. There's sharks in the bathtub."
 
2014-05-02 04:51:03 PM
eclectikrelaxation.com

Candygram.
 
2014-05-02 04:51:24 PM
My mom grew up in Perth and I have family all over the area.  Sharks are not uncommon.
 
2014-05-02 04:51:58 PM
"Not to worry people of Perth, Australia, there's a huge great white shark 'patrolling' the waters right off your beaches making sure no one is leaving leftovers swimmingleftover swimmers around"
 
2014-05-02 04:52:38 PM

JohnAnnArbor: Russ1642: smallerGov: why are left overs swimming?

DNRFA

Must be Korean food.

I thought the passengers on flight 370 were mostly Chinese.


They were, but the sharks were hungry again an hour later.
 
2014-05-02 04:53:15 PM
indonesiaexpat.biz
 
2014-05-02 04:53:54 PM
cdn.smosh.com
 
2014-05-02 04:54:36 PM
They should have left the beaches open, and just advised against surfing. If it was chasing a whale, it probably wouldn't go after human-sized prey, and sharks don't intentionally target us anyway.
 
2014-05-02 04:55:12 PM
I'll never put on a lifejacket again.
 
2014-05-02 04:55:18 PM
Why does this make the news every time? Sharks are probably eating 3.7 beachgoers and 2 small pet dogs at any given time around Australia.
 
2014-05-02 04:56:41 PM
A shark on patrol?

"Wot's all this then?"
 
2014-05-02 04:57:13 PM
fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net
Just tell the shark it's the playoffs, they'll drown themselves.
 
2014-05-02 04:57:15 PM

downstairs: My mom grew up in Perth and I have family all over the area.  Sharks are not uncommon.


On the internet, no one knows you're a shark.
 
2014-05-02 04:57:18 PM
Sonar equipped sharks, driving the poor whales into the beach.
 
2014-05-02 04:57:38 PM
How do they know.
Can anyone understand an Aussie?
 
2014-05-02 04:59:00 PM

Fluid: A shark on patrol?

"Wot's all this then?"


*shines flashlight down darkened warehouse corridor*
*gets bonked on the head from behind*
 
2014-05-02 04:59:10 PM

iheartscotch: Most of the time; the shark is just checking if you're a seal. They'll bite you, then say to themselves, "hey, this isn't a seal" and then swim off.


www.lajollalight.com


Just a little exploratory nip? Nothing to worry about?

*WHEW*
 
2014-05-02 05:01:32 PM

iheartscotch: Ok, calm down!

Sharks aren't the violent, human killing machines that Hollywood would have us believe they are. Most shark attacks on humans do not result in loss of life.

Most of the time; the shark is just checking if you're a seal. They'll bite you, then say to themselves, "hey, this isn't a seal" and then swim off. Sharks have pretty poor eyesight; they operate more on smell than sight.

/ If you've ever been swimming in an ocean; you were likely within 200 yards of a shark and never knew it.


Now, now, it's the Daily Mail, but FTA:
"During the period September 2011 and July 2012 there were five fatal attacks and numerous near-misses involving sharks - including the terrifying great white.
Following one attack, only the victim's damaged speedos were recovered from the ocean."

Everything but the speedo.
 
2014-05-02 05:02:23 PM

danielscissorhands: The Malaysian Airways passengers could be inside of this shark.

CNN should explore this angle.


That ought to keep them in headlines for the next couple of weeks.
 
2014-05-02 05:02:35 PM

downstairs: My mom grew up in Perth and I have family all over the area.  Sharks are not uncommon.


Are they Rare, or Mythic Rare?
 
2014-05-02 05:02:52 PM

StopLurkListen: [indonesiaexpat.biz image 585x546]


OF COURSE MY RISK OF DEATH BY SHARK IS LOW, I STAY OUT OF THE BLOODY OCEAN.
 
2014-05-02 05:03:24 PM

Trocadero: [fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net image 489x480]
Just tell the shark it's the playoffs, they'll drown themselves.


That's an awesome image.

/Not a hockey fan
//But I understand the Sharks often choke in the playoffs
 
2014-05-02 05:03:58 PM
We overfish and destroy natural fish stocks that sharks feed from
We like to play in shark's dining rooms
We complain that sharks occasionally mistake us for food

Yeah, makes perfect sense.
 
2014-05-02 05:06:20 PM

tlars699: iheartscotch: Ok, calm down!

Sharks aren't the violent, human killing machines that Hollywood would have us believe they are. Most shark attacks on humans do not result in loss of life.

Most of the time; the shark is just checking if you're a seal. They'll bite you, then say to themselves, "hey, this isn't a seal" and then swim off. Sharks have pretty poor eyesight; they operate more on smell than sight.

/ If you've ever been swimming in an ocean; you were likely within 200 yards of a shark and never knew it.

Now, now, it's the Daily Mail, but FTA:
"During the period September 2011 and July 2012 there were five fatal attacks and numerous near-misses involving sharks - including the terrifying great white.
Following one attack, only the victim's damaged speedos were recovered from the ocean."

Everything but the speedo.


That doesn't necessarily mean the shark ate 'im. A bite in the right place, and humans sink pretty easily. And panicked thrashing might dislodge a speedo.
 
2014-05-02 05:09:09 PM

The One True TheDavid: iheartscotch: Most of the time; the shark is just checking if you're a seal. They'll bite you, then say to themselves, "hey, this isn't a seal" and then swim off.




Just a little exploratory nip? Nothing to worry about?

*WHEW*


Yep, it's just a little bite to see what you are.
 
2014-05-02 05:09:51 PM
According to their map, the City Beach is about 4 blocks inland... everyone should be fine.

unless sharks can walk
 
2014-05-02 05:10:18 PM

StopLurkListen: [indonesiaexpat.biz image 585x546]


You need to normalize it for Australia. Most of the planet isn't a Death World.
 
2014-05-02 05:11:03 PM
See, I never understood the idea of going into the ocean and expecting to be safe.
You go to the National Wildlife Parks and  expect to encounter bears, and are taught lessons on how to avoid being attacked.
As for wolves/lions/other sneakier predators, they are so cautious around humans that any safety lessons regarding them are useless, as you'll be avoided 99.999% of the time, and otherwise, because if they intend to attack you, you don't realize it until you're already caught in their trap.

But going to the ocean- everyone seems to expect:
"Oh! What a lovely beach! I'm just going to go swim, la di dah! Nothing's going to get me; the ocean is SO HUGE!" and completely ignore the fact that beaches aren't just attractive to land mammals, but sea mammals and other marine life that prey on smaller sea life.

The Ocean is WILD. Get it through your heads, and adjust your expectations.
 
2014-05-02 05:11:29 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

A shark!  In the ocean!  It's news!  I new I could depend on you, Daily Mail.
 
2014-05-02 05:13:20 PM

tlars699: iheartscotch: Ok, calm down!

Sharks aren't the violent, human killing machines that Hollywood would have us believe they are. Most shark attacks on humans do not result in loss of life.

Most of the time; the shark is just checking if you're a seal. They'll bite you, then say to themselves, "hey, this isn't a seal" and then swim off. Sharks have pretty poor eyesight; they operate more on smell than sight.

/ If you've ever been swimming in an ocean; you were likely within 200 yards of a shark and never knew it.

Now, now, it's the Daily Mail, but FTA:
"During the period September 2011 and July 2012 there were five fatal attacks and numerous near-misses involving sharks - including the terrifying great white.
Following one attack, only the victim's damaged speedos were recovered from the ocean."

Everything but the speedo.


5 fatal attacks? Out of how many swimmers? Let's say 20,000 people, for the sake of argument, swam at that beach during that period. That's a .025 % rate of attac.
 
2014-05-02 05:13:21 PM
And in your city there have been at least 5 traffic fatalities just in the past week. So stay at home, don't drive!
 
2014-05-02 05:16:33 PM
41 comments? And... it's not here?

Have to do everything myself, it seems...

static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-05-02 05:19:15 PM
I have a deal with the sharks. I don't go in the ocean and they don't come in my house.
 
2014-05-02 05:20:37 PM

iheartscotch: tlars699: iheartscotch: Ok, calm down!

Sharks aren't the violent, human killing machines that Hollywood would have us believe they are. Most shark attacks on humans do not result in loss of life.

Most of the time; the shark is just checking if you're a seal. They'll bite you, then say to themselves, "hey, this isn't a seal" and then swim off. Sharks have pretty poor eyesight; they operate more on smell than sight.

/ If you've ever been swimming in an ocean; you were likely within 200 yards of a shark and never knew it.

Now, now, it's the Daily Mail, but FTA:
"During the period September 2011 and July 2012 there were five fatal attacks and numerous near-misses involving sharks - including the terrifying great white.
Following one attack, only the victim's damaged speedos were recovered from the ocean."

Everything but the speedo.

5 fatal attacks? Out of how many swimmers? Let's say 20,000 people, for the sake of argument, swam at that beach during that period. That's a .025 % rate of attac.


Lighten Up, Francis- it's the Daily Mail.
They don't let things like complete facts or anything resembling a statistic that you can easily use/interpret get in the way of a good story, and I tried pointing that out in a funny way in my last comment, because in reality, I know sharks are a valuable part of our ecosystem, and that we need to stop fishing them/their prey at the current rate that we are....(ongoing understanding of shark info).....(more ranty stuff about how humans are shortsighted and stupid)......

but All of that doesn't change my fear of being eaten alive, particularly by sharks, and it doesn't change my opinion that they are efficient scary beasts that I don't want anywhere near me.

"Everything but the Speedo", aka Everything but the Oink.

Anyone know if that person they're talking about was a policeman, because hi-larious.
 
2014-05-02 05:21:56 PM
If I say its safe to surf this beach, Captain, then its safe to surf this beach!
 
2014-05-02 05:22:11 PM

iheartscotch: The One True TheDavid: iheartscotch: Most of the time; the shark is just checking if you're a seal. They'll bite you, then say to themselves, "hey, this isn't a seal" and then swim off.

Just a little exploratory nip? Nothing to worry about?

*WHEW*

Yep, it's just a little bite to see what you are.


and what we are is "edible".
 
2014-05-02 05:25:54 PM

Slaxl: iheartscotch: The One True TheDavid: iheartscotch: Most of the time; the shark is just checking if you're a seal. They'll bite you, then say to themselves, "hey, this isn't a seal" and then swim off.

Just a little exploratory nip? Nothing to worry about?

*WHEW*

Yep, it's just a little bite to see what you are.

and what we are is "edible".


We can be, but most of those attacked are surfers or super athletic swimmers, which don't have a lot of nutrient rich blubber, and are rather bony and pointy, unlike seals ...

Let us hope they don't collectively realize that larger people who are closer to shore would give them more of what they like.
 
2014-05-02 05:35:45 PM

texastag: I have a deal with the sharks. I don't go in the ocean and they don't come in my house.


I laughed too hard at that.
 
2014-05-02 05:38:35 PM

Slaxl: iheartscotch: The One True TheDavid: iheartscotch: Most of the time; the shark is just checking if you're a seal. They'll bite you, then say to themselves, "hey, this isn't a seal" and then swim off.

Just a little exploratory nip? Nothing to worry about?

*WHEW*

Yep, it's just a little bite to see what you are.

and what we are is "edible".


Don't worry. Unless you have the same BMI as a bull walrus; you aren't in any danger. Also, don't surf in waters with large seal populations. The shadow that a surfer makes confuses the shark; making it think you look like a seal.

/ if they decide you are edible; they'll come back to say, "HAI"!
 
2014-05-02 05:39:04 PM
LordJiro: And panicked thrashing might dislodge a speedo.

Mmmm dislodged speedos...
 
Displayed 50 of 73 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report