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(Deadline)   Parent company of Fox News buys Harlequin Books, known for their bodice-ripping romance novels. What could possibly go wrong?   (deadline.com) divider line 58
    More: Amusing, Harlequin Enterprises, bodice, Harlequin, romance novels, parent company  
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697 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 02 May 2014 at 10:40 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-02 08:49:42 AM  
More embarrassingly clunky sex scenes written by Bill O'Reilly?

"Ashley was now wearing only brief white panties. She had signaled her desire by removing her shirt and skirt, and by leaning back on the couch. She closed her eyes, concentrating on nothing but Shannon's tongue and lips. He gently teased her by licking the areas around her most sensitive erogenous zone. Then he slipped her panties down her legs and, within seconds, his tongue was inside her, moving rapidly." (Bill O'Reilly, Those Who Trespass: a Novel of Television and Murder)
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-05-02 08:55:50 AM  
Sarah knew it was wrong, but when she saw his lean form on the basketball court she couldn't look away. "You will be mine, Barack," she told herself, "if I have to read every news--- ooh! cute guy subbing in on the R team."
 
2014-05-02 09:02:03 AM  
And now I'm thinking of Brian Kilmeade's throbbing, turgid member.

I farking hate you Subby.
 
2014-05-02 09:08:49 AM  
FOX News is all about fiction.  Harlequin will fit right in.
 
2014-05-02 09:16:58 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: FOX News is all about fiction.  Harlequin will fit right in.


Bad, unbelievable fiction.  I think you're right!
 
2014-05-02 09:19:12 AM  
More garbage fiction clogging up the bookshelves of my local second-hand stores
 
2014-05-02 09:23:35 AM  
Great, more Palin porn.
 
2014-05-02 09:26:07 AM  

BunkoSquad: More embarrassingly clunky sex scenes written by Bill O'Reilly?

"Ashley was now wearing only brief white panties. She had signaled her desire by removing her shirt and skirt, and by leaning back on the couch. She closed her eyes, concentrating on nothing but Shannon's tongue and lips. He gently teased her by licking the areas around her most sensitive erogenous zone. Then he slipped her panties down her legs and, within seconds, his tongue was inside her, moving rapidly." (Bill O'Reilly, Those Who Trespass: a Novel of Television and Murder)


Al Franken gave it a 5 on the Peter-Meter.
 
2014-05-02 09:40:59 AM  
Its like businesses want to make money so they buy other businesses that they think can make them more money
 
2014-05-02 09:49:17 AM  
I don't understand why Fox News and its viewers have no cognitive dissonance over the conservative bent of their news and commentary, and the pirulent, violent, sinful product they put out everywhere else. They should, but they don't.
 
2014-05-02 09:54:46 AM  

Earguy: I don't understand why Fox News and its viewers have no cognitive dissonance over the conservative bent of their news and commentary, and the pirulent, violent, sinful product they put out everywhere else. They should, but they don't.


Money eases the troubled conscience.
 
2014-05-02 09:57:34 AM  

Earguy: I don't understand why Fox News and its viewers have no cognitive dissonance over the conservative bent of their news and commentary, and the pirulent, violent, sinful product they put out everywhere else. They should, but they don't.


Fox News is a business. They like money. They will pick any position they think will get eyeballs on the TV. Ratings, not ideology, is what matters over everything else; who cares if Fox News views contradict each other? It makes for a good story
 
2014-05-02 10:14:06 AM  

cman: Its like businesses want to make money so they buy other businesses that they think can make them more money


People love those cheesy novels.
 
2014-05-02 10:22:05 AM  
You think it's ok now, but just wait until you see every yard sale with tables full of "Love in the Time of Islamosocialistfascisacommunism" featuring a shirtless, heavily airbrushed-and-mulleted Bill O'Reilly tearing the bodice of Ann Coulter on the cover
 
2014-05-02 10:41:06 AM  
They already own FX. What's the big deal, here?
 
2014-05-02 10:42:08 AM  
Lots of cantaloupe calves on the hunky Latinos.
 
2014-05-02 10:43:22 AM  
You're going to see lot of them suddenly be love stories about US soldiers. I farking guarantee it.
 
2014-05-02 10:44:15 AM  
Does this mean Fabio will be a new talking head on Fox News?
 
2014-05-02 10:46:58 AM  
News Corp also owns 20th Century Fox..  plenty of movies out from them with adult themes.
News Corp also owns Fox Television.. plenty of tv shows from them with adult themes

It's almost as if Fox News is a specific entity designed to make money off an underserved market..  where have I heard that before?  Oh, yea, Rupert Murdoch
 
2014-05-02 10:48:28 AM  
Since Harlequin already prints the most republican of romance novels, little will change.

www.clusterflock.org
 
2014-05-02 10:50:04 AM  
One more

www.allleftturns.com
 
2014-05-02 10:51:27 AM  

Earguy: I don't understand why Fox News and its viewers have no cognitive dissonance over the conservative bent of their news and commentary, and the pirulent, violent, sinful product they put out everywhere else. They should, but they don't.


You mean the people who watch Fox News with all the leggy blondes in short skirts?
 
2014-05-02 10:52:56 AM  

Earguy: I don't understand why Fox News and its viewers have no cognitive dissonance over the conservative bent of their news and commentary, and the pirulent, violent, sinful product they put out everywhere else. They should, but they don't.


The viewers aren't typically the kind of folks who get cognitive anything, let alone dissonance.
 
2014-05-02 10:54:56 AM  
News Corp is one of the largest media conglomerates in the world. FOXNews is one of many things they own. I think your cheap heaving bosoms and turgid members will be the same.
 
2014-05-02 11:00:02 AM  

Nabb1: News Corp is one of the largest media conglomerates in the world. FOXNews is one of many things they own. I think your cheap heaving bosoms and turgid members will be the same.


Yes, but will Harlequin change?
 
2014-05-02 11:05:16 AM  
"His throbbing manhood, provided by viagra not covered by ObamaCare, pulsed in her hand..."
 
2014-05-02 11:06:29 AM  
Harlequin has been waiting for this moment a long time.

Actual Harlequin titles.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-02 11:11:31 AM  
As Sarah was watching Putin from her house she started to feel an indescribable warmth wash over her body as he wrestled a bear, she smiled a secret little smile now knowing why she had bought an Alaskan house from which she could see Russia.

"From Russia With Love, Deep Inside Sarah"
 
2014-05-02 11:12:57 AM  

MrBallou: Yes, but will Harlequin change?


hello.eboy.com
 
2014-05-02 11:13:38 AM  

SVenus: Harlequin has been waiting for this moment a long time.

Actual Harlequin titles.


So women like to fantasize about being the whores of rich guys?

Damn I need to get a better job.
 
2014-05-02 11:13:48 AM  

Tom_Slick: One more


Those covers are just horrible.
 
2014-05-02 11:15:18 AM  
The sex scenes are generally between pages 150 to 220.

Why yes I DID have this down to a science at 15 years old and no internet available.
 
2014-05-02 11:17:22 AM  

Cymbal: SVenus: Harlequin has been waiting for this moment a long time.

Actual Harlequin titles.

So women like to fantasize about being the whores of rich guys?

Damn I need to get a better job.


Like some guys have foot fetishes, some women like certain things in romance that make no sense at all.
 
2014-05-02 11:19:50 AM  

MrBallou: Nabb1: News Corp is one of the largest media conglomerates in the world. FOXNews is one of many things they own. I think your cheap heaving bosoms and turgid members will be the same.

Yes, but will Harlequin change?


It's not as good as Random Penguin (the last merger)
But here (stolen from this morning's interwebs)
is

Harpy Quinn

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-02 11:29:34 AM  

SVenus: Harlequin has been waiting for this moment a long time.

Actual Harlequin titles.


Lolol, you are bringing back memories I have from working at Borders and shelving those books. Ahhh, the pleasure I would get when once a month I would strip off the covers and toss those books in the garbage where they belonged.

/such a waste of paper
 
2014-05-02 11:45:30 AM  
Anyone else think that a venn diagram of Harlequin readers and female Fox News viewers would basically be a circle?
 
2014-05-02 11:53:12 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: Anyone else think that a venn diagram of Harlequin readers and female Fox News viewers would basically be a circle?


Cheap smut knows no political boundaries.
 
2014-05-02 11:53:22 AM  

raerae1980: SVenus: Harlequin has been waiting for this moment a long time.

Actual Harlequin titles.

Lolol, you are bringing back memories I have from working at Borders and shelving those books. Ahhh, the pleasure I would get when once a month I would strip off the covers and toss those books in the garbage where they belonged.

/such a waste of paper


I happen to know one particular author who went from nowhere to now having about $10million in the bank within three years based on books like that.

They don't have to be good. They just have to be bought.
 
2014-05-02 11:54:19 AM  

Earguy: I don't understand why Fox News and its viewers have no cognitive dissonance over the conservative bent of their news and commentary, and the pirulent, violent, sinful product they put out everywhere else. They should, but they don't.


like the mafia in the Godfather: "let the animals lose their souls"
 
2014-05-02 11:56:02 AM  
Next on O'Reilly: an interview with the Ticktock Man.
 
2014-05-02 12:02:53 PM  
Erotic Rush Limbaugh / Sean Hannity log cabin fan-fic?
 
2014-05-02 12:10:23 PM  

SVenus: raerae1980: SVenus: Harlequin has been waiting for this moment a long time.

Actual Harlequin titles.

Lolol, you are bringing back memories I have from working at Borders and shelving those books. Ahhh, the pleasure I would get when once a month I would strip off the covers and toss those books in the garbage where they belonged.

/such a waste of paper

I happen to know one particular author who went from nowhere to now having about $10million in the bank within three years based on books like that.

They don't have to be good. They just have to be bought.


At least in the stores I worked, those books weren't bought, they were read in-store.
 
2014-05-02 12:28:21 PM  
Interesting as basically, Harlequin was the cash cow and pretty much the only thing keeping TorStar alive.

I guess this starts the slow countdown on for all the print stuff at 1 Yonge Street...
 
2014-05-02 12:30:02 PM  

markfara: They already own FX. What's the big deal, here?


American Horror Story: Archer.

/there's your next season, guys
 
2014-05-02 12:40:09 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: markfara: They already own FX. What's the big deal, here?

American Horror Story: Archer.

/there's your next season, guys


...

Go on....
 
2014-05-02 01:43:21 PM  

bhcompy: News Corp also owns 20th Century Fox..  plenty of movies out from them with adult themes.
News Corp also owns Fox Television.. plenty of tv shows from them with adult themes

It's almost as if Fox News is a specific entity designed to make money off an underserved market..  where have I heard that before?  Oh, yea, Rupert Murdoch


I'm positive that money trumps ideology for him.

Earguy: I don't understand why Fox News and its viewers have no cognitive dissonance over the conservative bent of their news and commentary, and the pirulent, violent, sinful product they put out everywhere else. They should, but they don't.


I'm pretty sure the Simpsons explained it best.
 
2014-05-02 01:52:14 PM  

raerae1980: SVenus: raerae1980: SVenus: Harlequin has been waiting for this moment a long time.

Actual Harlequin titles.

Lolol, you are bringing back memories I have from working at Borders and shelving those books. Ahhh, the pleasure I would get when once a month I would strip off the covers and toss those books in the garbage where they belonged.

/such a waste of paper

I happen to know one particular author who went from nowhere to now having about $10million in the bank within three years based on books like that.

They don't have to be good. They just have to be bought.

At least in the stores I worked, those books weren't bought, they were read in-store.


....I was guilty of this. The covers would just be so dumb, I'd end up skimming and reading it. My mom on the other hand, could have built a house out of all the romance novels that she owns/owned
 
2014-05-02 01:53:01 PM  

nocturnal001: I'm positive that money trumps ideology for him.


I'm positive that money is his ideology.  Fox TV and Fox News have never lined up ideologically, unless you consider Married with Children, 24, and Family Guy wholesome conservative television.
 
2014-05-02 01:58:26 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: You think it's ok now, but just wait until you see every yard sale with tables full of "Love in the Time of Islamosocialistfascisacommunism" featuring a shirtless, heavily airbrushed-and-mulleted Bill O'Reilly tearing the bodice of Ann Coulter on the cover


Sees what you did there, and likes it.

i.huffpost.com
 
2014-05-02 02:08:01 PM  

bhcompy: nocturnal001: I'm positive that money trumps ideology for him.

I'm positive that money is his ideology.  Fox TV and Fox News have never lined up ideologically, unless you consider Married with Children, 24, and Family Guy wholesome conservative television.


Odds are those shows are probably wildly popular with that crowd. Every conservative I've ever met enjoys dong jokes and boobs as much as I do.
 
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