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(The New York Observer)   Rex Reed's spoiler-filled review of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, a film that is a "retread of tired material in a franchise more than ready for the big comic book bonfire; there is nothing amazing about it"   (observer.com ) divider line
    More: Hero, The Amazing Spider-Man, media franchise, comic book bonfire, comic books, recaps, spiders, broadway revival, Dane DeHaan  
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2362 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 02 May 2014 at 8:43 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



129 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-02 06:48:01 AM  
Trailer:

"Why are you covered in dirt?"

"I was cleaning the chimney!"

"We don't have a chimney."

"Whaaa-???"


Gave up RIGHT there...
 
2014-05-02 07:56:39 AM  
They need to let Spider-Man's rights revert to Marvel/Disney so he can be integrated into their cinematic universe.
 
2014-05-02 08:12:46 AM  

gopher321: Trailer:

"Why are you covered in dirt?"

"I was cleaning the chimney!"

"We don't have a chimney."

"Whaaa-???"


Gave up RIGHT there...


Peter used to be smart.
 
2014-05-02 08:46:54 AM  

ManateeGag: Peter used to be smart.


Girls aged 12-20 don't swoon over "smart".  Because focus groups.
 
2014-05-02 08:51:39 AM  
Rex Reed is still alive?
 
2014-05-02 08:52:45 AM  
Let spidey back in to the expanded universe and make all future spider man movies in the mold of Marvel Team Up.
 
2014-05-02 08:55:29 AM  

kronicfeld: They need to let Spider-Man's rights revert to Marvel/Disney so he can be integrated into their cinematic universe.


They need to let Emma Stone be integrated into my pants.
 
2014-05-02 08:55:32 AM  
Message to all who will complain about the movie in this thread: you'll all see it, they'll get your money, that's all they care about

Proceed
 
2014-05-02 08:58:11 AM  

natural316: Message to all who will complain about the movie in this thread: you'll all see it, they'll get your money, that's all they care about

Proceed


Poo to that. If it ain't Batman, I don't get out of bed.

Having said that, Heisenberg vs. Godzilla is definitely on my to-do list. In red ink.
 
2014-05-02 08:58:33 AM  

natural316: Message to all who will complain about the movie in this thread: you'll all see it, they'll get your money, that's all they care about

Proceed


I saw the first one on a bus. It was lame even for a bus movie.
 
2014-05-02 08:59:25 AM  

natural316: Message to all who will complain about the movie in this thread: you'll all see it, they'll get your money, that's all they care about

Proceed


In spite of how much of a Spider Man fan I was as a kid, the last Spider Man movie I've seen was the 2002 film, and it wasn't in the theater.  I found it disappointing.
 
2014-05-02 09:00:41 AM  
That review wasn't nearly as spoiler-iffic as it could have been.  But he was actually kind giving it two stars out of four.  It felt like the worst parts of Spider-man 3 combined with the worst parts of Batman and Robin.  Hell, for a while there Electro looked just like Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze.

It doesn't hold a candle to the worst film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

And don't concern yourself with the mid-credits stuff.  It's literally a badly edited commercial with a payoff shot you've already seen.
 
2014-05-02 09:02:33 AM  

natural316: Message to all who will complain about the movie in this thread: you'll all see it, they'll get your money, that's all they care about

Proceed


Saw it for free.  Am I allowed to post, master?

Also, get bent.
 
2014-05-02 09:03:32 AM  
I'll do what i did for all of the other Spiderman movies, wait for it to hit cable.

Nothing about the movies/characters is worth me leaving the house for.
 
2014-05-02 09:05:08 AM  
Marvel, take Spider-man back, please.  There was some cool stuff, but my 11-year-old daughter (who loves Spider-man) fell asleep through the exhausting teen romance bits.  My younger daughter, "Ugh, so much kissing.  It's supposed to be Spider-man!"   Whereas I was just wondering why we wandered so far off into sub-plot territory for no pay-off, when the pay-off was sitting right there and could have been interesting.

General spoilers:


I enjoyed Electro, though I think some scenes were cut that the character needed.  What little there is of Goblin is bad and unnecessary.  Rhino was also bad and unnecessary.  Garfield does a good as Peter Parker, but the whole thing is just targeted at the pop-culture teens, some of his dialogue - do teens really think they talk like that?  And the big not-a-surprise-for-any-Spidey-fan climax could easily have held off to another movie for greater impact.

Spidey has never looked so good swinging through the city though, so that was fun.  The suit is good.  I like that you can still tell it is Garfield in the suit by mannerism and movement.  Aunt May is wasted, and should never be wasted.

Okay, biggest pet-peeve - I think the entire movie was sound-scored to dub-step.  !Dramatic Moment![BWAAAAAGH]  Waht?
 
2014-05-02 09:06:07 AM  
My son wants to see it. I am telling him wait till Redbox because I can't in good faith waste money on Spiderman in the theater. I even explained the whole if no one goes to see it, it MAY get bought back by Disney. He kind of gets that. I basically said, you want a movie like Lego Marvel on PS3? Then we wait. And he even hated the last one too.
 
2014-05-02 09:06:59 AM  
So the av club said it was refreshingly different from the original trilogy.

I've got a feeling people will try to find excuses to not like this movie.

That being said, it might still be a bad movie. I don't know yet
 
2014-05-02 09:13:45 AM  
i have heard from a co-worker who went to see it last night that this movie was not good...incohesive, trite, teen-romancy, etc.

i won't be seeing it, and i didn't see the first amazing spiderman...simply because for me it's too soon...tobey is still spidey/peter parker to me, and kirsten, whether she was actually good in the role or not, is still the wet-shirt-in-the-rain, drooooool...er i mean maryjane to me.
 
2014-05-02 09:17:02 AM  

scarmig: Okay, biggest pet-peeve - I think the entire movie was sound-scored to dub-step.  !Dramatic Moment![BWAAAAAGH]  Waht?


I think that was just Electro's scenes.  Because electro is close to dubstep, right?  I think the worst bit was when Electro started playing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" like a tesla coil.

Also, did you see it in 2D or 3D?  I thought the swinging around stuff looked awful in 2D, but I assumed it was because it was intended for 3D.  It felt like they were trying too hard to overcompensate for the f-stop or two you lose because of the 3D glasses.  Or maybe the costume was just too dang red.
 
2014-05-02 09:24:35 AM  
I don't generally give much "film taste" credence to anyone whose major movie credit is "Myra Breckenridge". It's just a rule of mine.

That said, I'm far more revved about the fact that "Under the Skin" is opening in my local art theatre today. Artsy sci-fi with a naked Scarlett Johansson. Yee-ha!
 
2014-05-02 09:31:29 AM  
I saw it in 2d, but i agree it was intended for 3d.  Also the theater where I was had the volume turned *down* too low.

It did have some funny bits that made us laugh.  I mean, it wasn't a bad experience.  I just know that it can be done so much better.
 
2014-05-02 09:34:45 AM  
I didn't read the review.  I don't care, I'm going to see it regardless.  I enjoyed the first one, tolerating the horrible Lizard design.  I like Andrew Garfield's take on the character a hell of a lot better than Tobey Maguire's.  At least the web shooters aren't organic.
 
2014-05-02 09:37:27 AM  

markfara: I don't generally give much "film taste" credence to anyone whose major movie credit is "Myra Breckenridge". It's just a rule of mine.


His, and John Simon's, brand of cattiness was considered subversive back in the 70s.

Forty years later, he comes across as a rank amateur.
 
2014-05-02 09:38:40 AM  

thecpt: So the av club said it was refreshingly different from the original trilogy.

I've got a feeling people will try to find excuses to not like this movie.

That being said, it might still be a bad movie. I don't know yet


It's not a bad movie.  It's just not a very good one either.

This is a franchise that has lost its way.
 
2014-05-02 09:42:18 AM  
 
2014-05-02 09:43:57 AM  
Oh let me guess - the following reactions are listed under the review from the legions of farking loser fanboys

'Shut up you are a ghey'
'Not every movie has to be [insert name of movie with a plot, aka pretentious]'
'I'm going to see it anyway I dont care about your stoopid review'
'Critics are idiots, wen they say a movie sux I always like it'
'Yer stoopid Spiderman doesnt [insert comic book factoid no one cares about]'
'Dont review these movies if you dont like them'

Think that should cover most of it.
 
2014-05-02 09:44:21 AM  

natural316: Message to all who will complain about the movie in this thread: you'll all see it, they'll get your money, that's all they care about

Proceed


Not I. I haven't seen a Spidey movie since Doc Ock.
 
2014-05-02 09:45:42 AM  
Amazing Spiderman 2 was much better than the last Amazing Spiderman movie.  Still pretty bad.
 
2014-05-02 09:46:27 AM  

bungle_jr: i have heard from a co-worker who went to see it last night that this movie was not good...incohesive, trite, teen-romancy, etc.

i won't be seeing it, and i didn't see the first amazing spiderman...simply because for me it's too soon...tobey is still spidey/peter parker to me, and kirsten, whether she was actually good in the role or not, is still the wet-shirt-in-the-rain, drooooool...er i mean maryjane to me.


Sadly, though, I predict this movie will make at least a bajillion dollars. I'm tempted to go to the theaters and see Captain America: The Winter Soldier again just so I can help keep that movie alive in theaters for as long as possible. Goddamn, now THAT is an awesome movie.
 
2014-05-02 09:46:40 AM  

scarmig: Aunt May is wasted, and should never be wasted.


If you had to be in a Spider-Man movie you'd drink heavily too.
 
2014-05-02 09:47:49 AM  
More like THE AMAZING PILE OF SH*T

/high five
 
2014-05-02 09:48:09 AM  
I was going to come in and say I wasn't going to see it, but I will. I'm a whore that way.
 
2014-05-02 09:50:39 AM  

markfara: I don't generally give much "film taste" credence to anyone whose major movie credit is "Myra Breckenridge". It's just a rule of mine.

That said, I'm far more revved about the fact that "Under the Skin" is opening in my local art theatre today. Artsy sci-fi with a naked Scarlett Johansson. Yee-ha!


Saw Under the Skin last night, it's quite good. A combination of Lifeforce and The Man Who Fell To Earth by the guy who directed Sexy Beast. And Johansson is nude in no uncertain terms.
 
2014-05-02 09:54:18 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: markfara: I don't generally give much "film taste" credence to anyone whose major movie credit is "Myra Breckenridge". It's just a rule of mine.

That said, I'm far more revved about the fact that "Under the Skin" is opening in my local art theatre today. Artsy sci-fi with a naked Scarlett Johansson. Yee-ha!

Saw Under the Skin last night, it's quite good. A combination of Lifeforce and The Man Who Fell To Earth by the guy who directed Sexy Beast. And Johansson is nude in no uncertain terms.



O RLY? Intredasting...

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-02 09:54:53 AM  

CarnySaur: kronicfeld: They need to let Spider-Man's rights revert to Marvel/Disney so he can be integrated into their cinematic universe.

They need to let Emma Stone be integrated into my pants.


you're such a romantic.
 
2014-05-02 09:56:23 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: It broke Movie Bob.


{Insert "Grumpy Cat GOOD.gif" here}

/used to be a fan, got tired of his schtick pretty quick
//NOT defending the new Spiderman crapola - I agree with Chipman about most of it. But if Chipman's various personas were to vanish, nothing of value would be lost.
 
2014-05-02 09:56:35 AM  
I don't care about this movie in any way. I didn't see the first (fourth?) one, and I won't see this.

I don't want Spidey back in the MCU, either.  The MCU has been helped--forced to make better movies--by the lack of "well-known" characters. If Spidey was in the MCU, they could churn out any old dreck and say "Spider-Man!!!!!" and all the lame frat boys and sophomores would see it. This movie and Spidey 4 proves it.
 
2014-05-02 10:01:48 AM  

natural316: Message to all who will complain about the movie in this thread: you'll all see it, they'll get your money, that's all they care about

Proceed


I love Spider-Man comics. I was on the fence about the last one and only saw it with my nephews. It wasn't terrible but also not great - not really needed.
The ensuing plans Sony has been laying out for a Spidey Universe of films, along with every trailer I've seen for this, is actually making me choose not to see this. It's not a knee jerk reaction - I don't like what they're doing and don't plan on supporting it.
Meanwhile, lots of Spidey digital comics on sale this weekend.
 
2014-05-02 10:06:05 AM  

Courtney Love's Genital Warts: I don't want Spidey back in the MCU, either.  The MCU has been helped--forced to make better movies--by the lack of "well-known" characters. If Spidey was in the MCU, they could churn out any old dreck and say "Spider-Man!!!!!" and all the lame frat boys and sophomores would see it. This movie and Spidey 4 proves it.

I want to believe that the folks running the MCU would try to be better than that, but free money is free money.  You're right, though.  If they had Spiderman, I would never be treated to a film with a machine gun toting raccoon (which I didn't realize I needed as badly as I do).  They wouldn't be forced to take risks with the B team.

Hell, I'm more interested in Marvel getting all their theme park rights back.

 
2014-05-02 10:07:50 AM  
Apologies.  Apparently I forgot how to Fark.  Damn you, lack of an edit button.

Courtney Love's Genital Warts: I don't want Spidey back in the MCU, either.  The MCU has been helped--forced to make better movies--by the lack of "well-known" characters. If Spidey was in the MCU, they could churn out any old dreck and say "Spider-Man!!!!!" and all the lame frat boys and sophomores would see it. This movie and Spidey 4 proves it.


I want to believe that the folks running the MCU would try to be better than that, but free money is free money.  You're right, though.  If they had Spiderman, I would never be treated to a film with a machine gun toting raccoon (which I didn't realize I needed as badly as I do).  They wouldn't be forced to take risks with the B team.

Hell, I'm more interested in Marvel getting all their theme park rights back.
 
2014-05-02 10:11:21 AM  
Saw it. Not a good movie. And the fact that they rushed through what is one of the most iconic deaths in all of comics didn't help matters.

/40 year-old spoilers
//I miss "The Spectacular Spiderman"
 
2014-05-02 10:13:19 AM  
I thought Rex Reed died years ago.
 
2014-05-02 10:13:38 AM  

whosits_112: bungle_jr: i have heard from a co-worker who went to see it last night that this movie was not good...incohesive, trite, teen-romancy, etc.

i won't be seeing it, and i didn't see the first amazing spiderman...simply because for me it's too soon...tobey is still spidey/peter parker to me, and kirsten, whether she was actually good in the role or not, is still the wet-shirt-in-the-rain, drooooool...er i mean maryjane to me.

Sadly, though, I predict this movie will make at least a bajillion dollars. I'm tempted to go to the theaters and see Captain America: The Winter Soldier again just so I can help keep that movie alive in theaters for as long as possible. Goddamn, now THAT is an awesome movie.


i've been so behind on movies...i haven't seen the FIRST captain america...have it dvr'd though, along with the FIRST hobbits movie. i haven't even seen the avengers...but i've finally seen all 3 iron man flicks
 
2014-05-02 10:14:15 AM  
KipKips:
//I miss "The Spectacular Spiderman"

But we have Ultimate Spider-Man, which isn't really about Spider-Man much and makes the Family Guy cut away scenes look like farking Shakespeare.
 
2014-05-02 10:15:57 AM  
Am I the only one who would enjoy a Secret Wars, albeit without some of the silliness of the time?
 
2014-05-02 10:16:31 AM  

borg: I thought Rex Reed died years ago.


with the alliteration in his name, i always mistake him for a minor super villain
 
2014-05-02 10:16:59 AM  

eagles95: My son wants to see it. I am telling him wait till Redbox because I can't in good faith waste money on Spiderman in the theater. I even explained the whole if no one goes to see it, it MAY get bought back by Disney. He kind of gets that. I basically said, you want a movie like Lego Marvel on PS3? Then we wait. And he even hated the last one too.


So much this!
 
2014-05-02 10:19:19 AM  

ManateeGag: KipKips:
//I miss "The Spectacular Spiderman"

But we have Ultimate Spider-Man, which isn't really about Spider-Man much and makes the Family Guy cut away scenes look like farking Shakespeare.


Caught a couple of episodes. Sadly accurate.
 
2014-05-02 10:20:11 AM  

Usurper4: Am I the only one who would enjoy a Secret Wars, albeit without some of the silliness of the time?


At least they could set up Venom properly...

/just no Secret Wars 2 (even though the last issue was surprisingly insane)
 
2014-05-02 10:21:05 AM  

Space Station Wagon: eagles95: My son wants to see it. I am telling him wait till Redbox because I can't in good faith waste money on Spiderman in the theater. I even explained the whole if no one goes to see it, it MAY get bought back by Disney. He kind of gets that. I basically said, you want a movie like Lego Marvel on PS3? Then we wait. And he even hated the last one too.

So much this!


Yeah, my nephews enjoyed the last one well enough once they got past the point that it had nothing to do with the three they grew up with. But the excitement they had after seeing Winter Soldier blew every other film away. I wasn't sure they would appreciate it as much as I did, but it proves that you don't have to keep dumbing these things down for kids and teens: they'll recognize when it's legitmately good.
 
2014-05-02 10:21:47 AM  

ManateeGag: KipKips:
//I miss "The Spectacular Spiderman"

But we have Ultimate Spider-Man, which isn't really about Spider-Man much and makes the Family Guy cut away scenes look like farking Shakespeare.


My kids love that show.  I'm not completely opposed to it, because while the cutaways are annoying they got Spidey's "make fun of the bad guys" thing down pat.

My wife watched it with the kids, and said it reminded her of "Saved by the Bell" when Zack would "time out" the world.  She didn't say this was a good thing.
 
2014-05-02 10:24:05 AM  

bungle_jr: whosits_112: bungle_jr: i have heard from a co-worker who went to see it last night that this movie was not good...incohesive, trite, teen-romancy, etc.

i won't be seeing it, and i didn't see the first amazing spiderman...simply because for me it's too soon...tobey is still spidey/peter parker to me, and kirsten, whether she was actually good in the role or not, is still the wet-shirt-in-the-rain, drooooool...er i mean maryjane to me.

Sadly, though, I predict this movie will make at least a bajillion dollars. I'm tempted to go to the theaters and see Captain America: The Winter Soldier again just so I can help keep that movie alive in theaters for as long as possible. Goddamn, now THAT is an awesome movie.

i've been so behind on movies...i haven't seen the FIRST captain america...have it dvr'd though, along with the FIRST hobbits movie. i haven't even seen the avengers...but i've finally seen all 3 iron man flicks


I'm a movie buff. Movies are my "thing". But this movie just makes my movie-boner go limp. However, the MCU movies have all been, at the VERY LEAST entertaining IMHO. Cap 2 was awesome, but there were some little things I missed, and I wouldn't mind plopping down another $7.50 to go see it and catch everything this time around.
 
2014-05-02 10:26:28 AM  

Mulchpuppy: scarmig: Okay, biggest pet-peeve - I think the entire movie was sound-scored to dub-step.  !Dramatic Moment![BWAAAAAGH]  Waht?

I think that was just Electro's scenes.  Because electro is close to dubstep, right?  I think the worst bit was when Electro started playing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" like a tesla coil.

Also, did you see it in 2D or 3D?  I thought the swinging around stuff looked awful in 2D, but I assumed it was because it was intended for 3D.  It felt like they were trying too hard to overcompensate for the f-stop or two you lose because of the 3D glasses.  Or maybe the costume was just too dang red.


I thought the Itsy Bitsy Spider was a good nod to the cheesy days of Spider-Man.   I like Gardfiled over Tobey as Spider-Man.  He gots Spidys wit down while Tobey had zero wit or sarcasm in the role. Over all the movie wasnt good.  Some of it made no sense.  Electro seemed like a demi god with his powers yet was easily beaten by spider-man.  Dude could freaking teleport anywhere he wanted.   The whole movie seemed like a long preview for the next movie they are going to make.   Hell it even ends on a cliff hanger.   I dont know why they didnt start the first movie this way and had this one the meat and potatoes of the new trilogy.  Then I remember people like money so they will milk this for everything they can till people hate it.
 
2014-05-02 10:32:03 AM  

natural316: Message to all who will complain about the movie in this thread: you'll all see it, they'll get your money, that's all they care about

Proceed


The first one bored the crap out of me, so this one doesn't get any of my money.
 
2014-05-02 10:38:10 AM  
This review was terrible.Any review which references the last trilogy as in any way relevant to these movies means I dismiss it straight out. The author seems to be too nostalgic over the old spidey movies to really let these stand on their own, as they should.I can understand why Sony decided to reboot after Toby 2 and 3 ruined their relatively strong opener. Amazing Spiderman actually tells the story from the comics that should have made it into the movies. I suspect that when they had started the first Toby movie they hadn't planned on doing any sequels, hence Mary-Jane and all the other dumb choices they made in the last series...Anyway, tldr; let go of your nostalgia and watch these movies for what they are.
 
2014-05-02 10:38:38 AM  

strangeguitar: Rex Reed is still alive?


In-between smooching pickles down at the deli, he reviews movies.  So yeah.
 
2014-05-02 10:42:25 AM  

lunging_man_ass: watch these movies for what they are


A big pile of stinking poop.

(so I've heard)
 
2014-05-02 10:44:20 AM  
Catching it tomorrow in IMAX. Sorry, but I have to. Loved Spidey since I was a kid. I want it to be good so I can enjoy it, but I want it to be bad and tank so that it brings us one step closer to Disney buying the rights back.
 
2014-05-02 10:44:41 AM  
scroufus:   Electro seemed like a demi god with his powers yet was easily beaten by spider-man.  Dude could freaking teleport anywhere he wanted.

I know this is going to sound like one of those nitpicky things, but I laughed my ass off when he showed up in that damn uniform.  Right down to the electric bolts on the arms.  I know I shouldn't expect subtlety from a movie with a Doctor Kafka in it, but that outfit (and its ability to dematerialize and rematerialize with Electro) was just too far over the top.

Also, I wonder if they realized how dumb that whole "Roosevelt" thing was when Sherlock covered similar territory earlier this year.
 
2014-05-02 10:44:43 AM  
Saw it last night with Mrs. Toquinha. It was pretty mediocre overall. The shots of Spidey swinging through NYC were pretty awesome and the 3D actually helps it this time around. But maybe because I'm getting old and I saw it at 10:15 PM (plus commercials, trailers, etc.), I was struggling to stay awake during parts of it. I still prefer the first two films of the Raimi trilogy.
 
2014-05-02 10:46:32 AM  

gunga galunga: markfara: I don't generally give much "film taste" credence to anyone whose major movie credit is "Myra Breckenridge". It's just a rule of mine.

His, and John Simon's, brand of cattiness was considered subversive back in the 70s.

Forty years later, he comes across as a rank amateur.


I'd forgotten all about John Simon. Wasn't he that conservative who used to review plays and films for the "National Review"? The one who found objectionable gay content in about everything out there?
 
2014-05-02 10:48:30 AM  
I do think they could have left out green goblin. and the rhino may as well have not been in the movie at all

Jamie fox wasn't bad as Elecrtro, they should have focused on him more
 
2014-05-02 10:50:50 AM  

Mulchpuppy: That review wasn't nearly as spoiler-iffic as it could have been.  But he was actually kind giving it two stars out of four.  It felt like the worst parts of Spider-man 3 combined with the worst parts of Batman and Robin.  Hell, for a while there Electro looked just like Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze.

It doesn't hold a candle to the worst film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

And don't concern yourself with the mid-credits stuff.  It's literally a badly edited commercial with a payoff shot you've already seen.


i was expecting a blue dong for a moment, electro resembled dr manhattan
 
2014-05-02 10:54:05 AM  

markfara: That said, I'm far more revved about the fact that "Under the Skin" is opening in my local art theatre today. Artsy sci-fi with a naked Scarlett Johansson. Yee-ha!


Ooh, added to the list!
 
2014-05-02 10:54:34 AM  

bungle_jr: i have heard from a co-worker who went to see it last night that this movie was not good...incohesive, trite, teen-romancy, etc.


So exactly like the first one? My god, the first one felt like a bad teeny-bopper chick flick at times.
 
2014-05-02 10:57:43 AM  

ManateeGag: Peter used to be smart.

i45.tinypic.com

 
2014-05-02 10:58:42 AM  

loonatic112358: i was expecting a blue dong for a moment, electro resembled dr manhattan


Christ, were you sitting near me?  We had the exact same moment.

(just as Electro is released from his Mr. Freeze-style bonds)

"Why is he wearing those biker short things?"
"Big blue dong, man."
 
2014-05-02 10:59:59 AM  
Deadpool "Greeks are a superstitious and cowardly lot. Hmm  these streets are deader then Gwen Stacy... "
 
2014-05-02 11:02:35 AM  
I'm going tonight with a group. I honestly would probably not be seeing it if it wasn't for the bf loving spider-man and it being a friend's birthday get together. I didn't much care for the last one, I haven't even watched it since we saw it in theaters two years ago when it came out. From what it sounds like it's not even mildly entertaining, so I'll probably be asleep 15 minutes in since we are going to a 1030 pm show. *sigh*
 
2014-05-02 11:05:14 AM  

Gerald Tarrant: Deadpool "Greeks are a superstitious and cowardly lot. Hmm  these streets are deader then Gwen Stacy... "


LOL


Does Fox still own rights to Deadpool?

/csb Lego Marvel has Deadpool in it and he is freakin hilarious for a rating E game
 
2014-05-02 11:07:57 AM  
Guys, Spiderman on his own isn't enough for a set of movies. Just get over it. One, maybe two films at most could work if done perfectly. Spiderman isn't interesting enough to carry a series of films. His rogues gallery is even less capable of carrying a film. Spiderman only works when he's interacting with other, more interesting superheroes.

So yeah, he'd be better off back in the MCU, but he'd have maybe as many movies as The Hulk, probably less. Sony is proving this more and more as they strain to keep the movies fresh and interesting.
 
2014-05-02 11:10:12 AM  

thecpt: So the av club said it was refreshingly different from the original trilogy.

I've got a feeling people will try to find excuses to not like this movie.

That being said, it might still be a bad movie. I don't know yet


The AV Club said it was nice that the movie wasn't a retread of the prior Spiderman 2, but that maybe it should've since at least that one was a good movie.

Not sure if 'refreshingly different' is an honest assessment of their review.
 
2014-05-02 11:11:09 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: It broke Movie Bob.


That might have more impact if I had ever heard of Movie Bob before. But watching that, he's a decent critic. But he talks way too damn fast.
 
2014-05-02 11:13:00 AM  
I did miss that they may have set us up with the Black Cat, I didn't catch that Harry's assistant was Felicia hardy
 
2014-05-02 11:18:07 AM  
SPOILERS:

I heard a month ago that the post credits scene had a scene revealing Norman's head in a jar. My showing just had a sneak peak at the new X-Men movie. Anybody get something different? I read and saw that Shazam app easter egg during the credits, but that doesnt count IMO.
 
2014-05-02 11:22:14 AM  

strangeguitar: Rex Reed is still alive?


This. I would have thought that even he would have choked on a bag of dicks sometime in the late '80s. What's his autobiography going to be called? "50 Years of Paying For It?"
 
2014-05-02 11:22:48 AM  
Ours had a badly cut, "WTF" X-men commercial.  I genuinely though the project guy had just accidentally started a preview reel in the middle of the credits or something.  I don't get it, I thought they were separate properties movie-wise.
 
2014-05-02 11:22:52 AM  
I can't image why anyone would give a shiat about this movie.

They just GOT DONE with a Spiderman trilogy. Jesus Christ already.
 
2014-05-02 11:23:12 AM  

Mulchpuppy: Hell, I'm more interested in Marvel getting all their theme park rights back.


Would that mean they'd have to tear down all the Marvel stuff at Universal Studios?
 
2014-05-02 11:24:51 AM  

Gigantos: SPOILERS:

I heard a month ago that the post credits scene had a scene revealing Norman's head in a jar. My showing just had a sneak peak at the new X-Men movie. Anybody get something different? I read and saw that Shazam app easter egg during the credits, but that doesnt count IMO.


I saw the X-Men teaser, though I didn't stay to the very end credits


Speaking of Norman I wonder if they decided to make him the Vulture instead of the Green Goblin, harry was the green goblin, so what would Norman wind up being?
 
2014-05-02 11:28:18 AM  
Every time I see his name, I have to stop and think if he's still alive or not.....


www.chicagonow.com
 
2014-05-02 11:32:22 AM  

markfara: gunga galunga: markfara: I don't generally give much "film taste" credence to anyone whose major movie credit is "Myra Breckenridge". It's just a rule of mine.

His, and John Simon's, brand of cattiness was considered subversive back in the 70s.

Forty years later, he comes across as a rank amateur.

I'd forgotten all about John Simon. Wasn't he that conservative who used to review plays and films for the "National Review"? The one who found objectionable gay content in about everything out there?


Yup. New York magazine eventually fired him because his reviews got so mean-spirited and ugly that readers were cancelling their subscriptions mainly because of him.
 
2014-05-02 11:33:47 AM  

quiotu: Guys, Spiderman on his own isn't enough for a set of movies. Just get over it. One, maybe two films at most could work if done perfectly. Spiderman isn't interesting enough to carry a series of films. His rogues gallery is even less capable of carrying a film. Spiderman only works when he's interacting with other, more interesting superheroes.


Absolutely untrue. You could have easily said the same thing about Cap or Iron Man as characters. It's easy to disagree with that in retrospect, but before the movies for those characters came out it was seen as a risky proposition. Spidey is completely capable of carrying his own movie, but just hasn't had the same focus as the Marvel Studios films.
 
2014-05-02 11:36:22 AM  

quiotu: Guys, Spiderman on his own isn't enough for a set of movies. Just get over it. One, maybe two films at most could work if done perfectly. Spiderman isn't interesting enough to carry a series of films. His rogues gallery is even less capable of carrying a film. Spiderman only works when he's interacting with other, more interesting superheroes.

So yeah, he'd be better off back in the MCU, but he'd have maybe as many movies as The Hulk, probably less. Sony is proving this more and more as they strain to keep the movies fresh and interesting.


If Sony execs would stop trying to shoehorn as many villians as possible into a movie it'd help


I'd have liked to have seen the Venom saga done properly instead of that rushed BS we saw in Spidey 3 the shiatty musical
 
2014-05-02 11:40:05 AM  
Time for another reboot.
 
2014-05-02 11:40:47 AM  

Mugato: Mulchpuppy: Hell, I'm more interested in Marvel getting all their theme park rights back.

Would that mean they'd have to tear down all the Marvel stuff at Universal Studios?


They'd have to retheme it, which wouldn't be that bad.  Hulk could probably use a bit of downtime anyway. But the thing of it is that they'd have to choose to do it.  The terms of that deal are better than what Sony and Fox has. Universal has those rights literally until they decide they don't want them anymore. IANAL, but my understanding is that they have the rights to the characters "east of the Mississippi" in perpetuity as long as they don't make any major alterations to what they currently have. And there's no reason to give them up without buckets and buckets of money.

It's just part of my dream fifth Florida park that's 1/3 Marvel, 1/3 Star Wars, and 1/3 Pixar.  Hell, if they hadn't just dropped a billion dollars fixing California Adventure, we could have had that in Anaheim.
 
2014-05-02 11:48:42 AM  

loonatic112358: If Sony execs would stop trying to shoehorn as many villians as possible into a movie it'd help


You're absolutely right, and yet Drew Goddard doing the Sinister Six movie strikes me as interesting.
 
2014-05-02 11:55:13 AM  

Mulchpuppy: loonatic112358: If Sony execs would stop trying to shoehorn as many villians as possible into a movie it'd help

You're absolutely right, and yet Drew Goddard doing the Sinister Six movie strikes me as interesting.


sinister six is a great idea, but sandman, hobgoblin and venom was a wtf


this one has great premise, but so far i'm not so sure
 
2014-05-02 11:55:15 AM  
people.wku.edu
 
2014-05-02 11:57:14 AM  
The problem seems simple to me, don't use Transformers-level writers if you're wanting Buffy-quality teen soap opera writing.

Its not that Sony is missing the desired mark, its that they're aiming and hitting a mark that the audience does not want to see.  Superhero comics have, surprisingly enough, grown up to the point folks want a little more than just explosions and CGI.
 
2014-05-02 12:17:04 PM  
Spiderman used to be my favorite, but this whole Sony thing, and these reviews summing up the movie as "meh", is pissig me off.

I had to live through this shiat to get here, and all we get is "meh"?

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-02 12:25:31 PM  
If you're a Spidey fan, it is still worth seeing.  Because they did get some stuff right, and some stuff is very cool to see realized on the big screen.  It just isn't the Spider-man movie it could have been.
 
2014-05-02 12:27:04 PM  
I shall watch it exactly like I watched the first Amazing Spiderman: hooked up to a plasma machine with nowhere else to go.
 
2014-05-02 12:32:14 PM  
I was thinking of going to see it just to kill time today, but it seems like i'd be better off just taking a nap.
 
2014-05-02 12:41:55 PM  
probably time for another reboot.
 
2014-05-02 12:44:45 PM  
I'll wait for it on Netflix.
 
2014-05-02 12:49:25 PM  

natural316: Message to all who will complain about the movie in this thread: you'll all see it, they'll get your money, that's all they care about

Proceed


And you would be wrong. I'll not be seeing it, nor will they be seeing a dime of my money. Same as the last one.

I think I last watched Spiderman 2 in a theater. I love the character, but the movies so far haven't been doing him justice.
 
2014-05-02 12:51:53 PM  
Rex Reed doesn't seem to realize that these movies are not meant to be consistent with Raimi's trilogy. I also thought he was dead.
 
2014-05-02 12:58:15 PM  
Americans can't relate to this film's spiderman!  Bring on the 2014 version!

img.myconfinedspace.com
 
2014-05-02 01:00:49 PM  

ThatBillmanGuy: Tyrone Slothrop: It broke Movie Bob.

That might have more impact if I had ever heard of Movie Bob before. But watching that, he's a decent critic. But he talks way too damn fast.


MovieBob's okay.  I like him all right.  But he has a massive Marvel jones, and a long-standing bitterness towards the Spider-Man reboot, and a spiteful dislike of everything DC since The Dark Knight Rises was in direct competition with The Avengers the summer both were released.

He's more than a little bit biased.  Not saying he's wrong (on any front, other than maybe overpraising everything Marvel from Phase One forward), but he tends towards the hyperbolic when it comes to comic book movies, Spider-Man especially.
 
2014-05-02 01:27:04 PM  
I AM going to read the thread, and I am sure someone has probably pointed this out, but just in case, I must mention  that Rex Reed is a pretentious idiot* who didn't like "Sid & Nancy" because it was about two things he hates, punk rock and drugs.

I remember years ago him picking the film for his 10 "Worst of the year" for that reason, as if good movies can only have fun and pleasant topics/themes. I wanted to punch him then and thinking about it now I still do.

That said, I'm fairly sure the new Spider-Man does suck pretty bad, and I have absolutely no plans to see it.

*He's also a fat slob, but that doesn't have much impact on how stupid his reviews are.
 
2014-05-02 01:31:44 PM  

soseussme: I AM going to read the thread, and I am sure someone has probably pointed this out, but just in case, I must mention  that Rex Reed is a pretentious idiot* who didn't like "Sid & Nancy" because it was about two things he hates, punk rock and drugs.

I remember years ago him picking the film for his 10 "Worst of the year" for that reason, as if good movies can only have fun and pleasant topics/themes. I wanted to punch him then and thinking about it now I still do.


I remember him giving thumbs down to Stand By Me because he didn't like the kids swearing.

Umm, that's how boys that age talk, Rex.
 
2014-05-02 01:33:21 PM  

soseussme: I AM going to read the thread, and I am sure someone has probably pointed this out, but just in case, I must mention  that Rex Reed is a pretentious idiot* who didn't like "Sid & Nancy" because it was about two things he hates, punk rock and drugs.


So, what do you think now that you've read the thread? Have you seen the video and know that he loves all things Spider-Man except for the last two film turds?
 
2014-05-02 01:35:11 PM  
I just asked my friend who has a spiderman tattoo if he liked it...he said its as good as Fantastic Four 1 or 2. I replied...that bad? He's also pissed about the actual end to the movie and post credits scenes. He basically said, you know, I get not wanting to copy Disney/Marvel but people FARKING EXPECT SOMETHING worth while after sitting through a 2+hr teen rom com
 
2014-05-02 01:50:15 PM  
Anyone else notice that Reed seems to think that these past two movies are connected to the original Maguire trilogy?

I mean, I agree that the reboot was rushed as hell, but for fark's sake, man: do your research.
 
2014-05-02 01:57:16 PM  

dj_spanmaster: soseussme: I AM going to read the thread, and I am sure someone has probably pointed this out, but just in case, I must mention  that Rex Reed is a pretentious idiot* who didn't like "Sid & Nancy" because it was about two things he hates, punk rock and drugs.

So, what do you think now that you've read the thread? Have you seen the video and know that he loves all things Spider-Man except for the last two film turds?


I haven't listened to his review and won';t bother because whatever he thinks, it's a stupid fat guy's thoughts. Sounds like he's right on this -- I have to agree that I saw no need for a reboot and have no interest just because I don't want a retelling of the origin, etc. yet. I would likely have continued seeing the SM movies if the series had continued with someone else besides Toby Maguire, but when they threw all that out 3-film storyline out, it made me feel like they were ripping me off somehow, like the time I'd invested in seeing the TM films had been wasted (even though I enjoyed those pretty well, even the 3rd one).

I still haven't seen the first of these, probably will sometime on TV though. And probably in a few years I'll see this one on TV too, but even if I were the type to download movies (and I'm not), I wouldn't bother seeing this one for "free" because a download would take more effort than I think it would be worth. The previews look terrible. The special effects didn't look very convincing, and none of the actors look like the characters to me. Fox is a decent actor but there's no way that's Electro. He looks as ridiculous as the previews they leaked for Quicksilver. for the new X-Men movie

Anyway, as a former long-term collector of almost anything Marvel, I have to say the plans for Venom and Sinister Six movies springing from this reboot also sound really unnecessary and bound to disappoint. I suppose there might be some way they could not suck, but I don't have much faith the studio will pull it off. Yes they will probably make money, esp. overseas, but they will be "Phantom Menace" stupid.

I am a bit more optimistic about "Days of Future Past" and may actually see it in a theater.
 
2014-05-02 02:23:03 PM  
First of all, I thought Rex Reed was dead.  Or would have if I thought about him.  Which I usually don't.

Second, I'm going to see Captain America, The Winter Soldier this weekend.

Last, the last Spiderman movie I saw in the theaters was Spiderman 3 and I'm still annoyed about this fact.  Spiderman movies are not going to get anymore of my money.
 
2014-05-02 02:31:00 PM  

the opposite of charity is justice: ManateeGag: Peter used to be smart.

[i45.tinypic.com image 850x1300]


Is that from a real comic book, or some crappy web/flash thing? Gawd it looks like shiat.
 
2014-05-02 02:35:03 PM  

Mulchpuppy: They'd have to retheme it, which wouldn't be that bad.


Well they'd have to tear down the Spider-Man ride. I guess they could re-tool The Hulk roller coaster and the Dr. Doom ride. But doesn't Disney have enough? They just got done re-tooling their Fantasy Land, they're building an Avatar Land and they have Star Wars, which could take up Tomorrow Land and part of EPCOT.

They can only build so much. I for one would rather see a Star Wars land first.
 
2014-05-02 02:55:08 PM  

Mugato: Mulchpuppy: They'd have to retheme it, which wouldn't be that bad.

Well they'd have to tear down the Spider-Man ride. I guess they could re-tool The Hulk roller coaster and the Dr. Doom ride. But doesn't Disney have enough? They just got done re-tooling their Fantasy Land, they're building an Avatar Land and they have Star Wars, which could take up Tomorrow Land and part of EPCOT.

They can only build so much. I for one would rather see a Star Wars land first.


Didn't I hear about Disney plans to build Marvel and Pixar areas of Hollywood Studios, thus making it simultaneously more interesting and more irritating?
 
2014-05-02 02:55:45 PM  
Kirsten Dunst > Emma Stone
 
2014-05-02 03:01:41 PM  

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: Kirsten Dunst > Emma Stone


Sorry, no. You clearly forget all the KD ripping.
 
2014-05-02 03:08:01 PM  

Mugato: Mulchpuppy: They'd have to retheme it, which wouldn't be that bad.

Well they'd have to tear down the Spider-Man ride. I guess they could re-tool The Hulk roller coaster and the Dr. Doom ride. But doesn't Disney have enough? They just got done re-tooling their Fantasy Land, they're building an Avatar Land and they have Star Wars, which could take up Tomorrow Land and part of EPCOT.

They can only build so much. I for one would rather see a Star Wars land first.


There's a Transformers ride over at Universal Studios that's essentially the exact same thing.  All they'd have to do is sub out the film and un-Daily Bugle the place.  Hulk can practically be rethemed overnight, as can Doom's Fearfall and Storm Force Accelatron (though I wouldn't complain if they just tore that garbage out).

Also, Star Wars has no place in Tomorrowland or Epcot.  It should be in Hollywood Studios or in an entirely new concept park (I acknowledge that Star Tours is in DL's Tomorrowland, but it doesn't fit the area in the slightest.  They've always had problems nailing down there Tomorrowland concept, though.  Everything new keeps getting old again on them). They're going to need to go big soon, as Potter phase 2 is going to crush the underwhelming New Fantasyland - at least until someone hurries up and comes up with a Frozen dark ride (and no, dammit, you don't screw up Norway at Epcot for that.  Kids hate that park, and one attraction in World Showcase isn't going to correct that).

But honestly, I'm just talking out my ass.  Until the inevitable comic movie bust, Universal is perfectly happy sitting on those properties.  They'll throw the occasional new coat of paint on Marvel Superhero Island and let it sit there forever.  Potter has given them F-you money.

/unashamed of my park nerdness
 
2014-05-02 03:09:25 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: And Johansson is nude in no uncertain terms.


As one could guess, screencaps can be found online.  At work right now, otherwise I'd link.

Don't get me wrong, you can see much worse naked, so not going to be super studman, but it was also a bit of a letdown.  A little saggy, a little untoned.  I know, I know, "That's a real woman with curves," but there's a fine line.

Reminded me a little of the first time we got to see Liv Tyler.  The sizzle seemed far better than the steak.
 
2014-05-02 03:13:34 PM  

dj_spanmaster: Didn't I hear about Disney plans to build Marvel and Pixar areas of Hollywood Studios, thus making it simultaneously more interesting and more irritating?


No Marvel in Florida until it's out of Universal has been all I've heard since the Marvel sale.  There was indeed talk for a while of expanding Pixar to include Cars' Land (but without the amazing Radiator Springs Racers ride, so what's the effing point?), but that talk seems to have died off lately.  Some folks say that the Magicpass program went insanely over budget and killed a lot of new development - I've heard it both ways.  But it does sound like that has been tabled for the time being.

Kind of a shame, as Hollywood Studios could really use some help.  It's a nice park, but so much that's there is just so terribly dated (The Great Movie Ride is just an embarrassment at this point.  No wonder they hid it behind a giant Sorcerer's Hat)
 
2014-05-02 03:19:10 PM  

fickenchucker: Spiderman used to be my favorite, but this whole Sony thing, and these reviews summing up the movie as "meh", is pissig me off.

I had to live through this shiat to get here, and all we get is "meh"?

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x324]


I remember being excited about those movies as a kid...and before them, the Electric Company:

img.fark.net
 img.fark.net
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-02 03:24:35 PM  

dj_spanmaster: E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: Kirsten Dunst > Emma Stone

Sorry, no. You clearly forget all the KD ripping.


If you're going by her first Spider-Man movie, I would at least say they're on comparable ground.  But Dunst looked surprisingly awful in the third film.
 
2014-05-02 03:52:50 PM  

Mulchpuppy: dj_spanmaster: E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: Kirsten Dunst > Emma Stone

Sorry, no. You clearly forget all the KD ripping.

If you're going by her first Spider-Man movie, I would at least say they're on comparable ground.  But Dunst looked surprisingly awful in the third film.


She likes her drugs and booze
 
2014-05-02 04:15:09 PM  

scarmig: If you're a Spidey fan, it is still worth seeing.  Because they did get some stuff right, and some stuff is very cool to see realized on the big screen.  It just isn't the Spider-man movie it could have been.


If I may quote a line from another movie movie which proves mypoint:

"WROOOOONG!!!"

If you're a fan, don't give them money.  The movie rights to Spiderman exist in this purgatory because people keep buying tickets to this dreck which they put no effort into it.

This movie and the previous one are simple cash grabs financed by suits envious of Marvel Studios.  It doesn't appear like a single person involved in their production actually care about Spiderman at all.  At least Sam Raimi was excited to be directing the vanguard of comic book movies.

They're using you and other fans like you for a quick buck with no effort.  They know exactly the allure of a never before seen villain "realized on the big screen" is the only bargaining chip they have.  Which is why they keep shoving more and more villains into each movie.
 
2014-05-02 04:21:20 PM  
www.quickmeme.com
 
2014-05-02 05:06:53 PM  
This will be the first Spidey movie I don't see in the theater. The reviews just cement the negative impression I got from the trailers. The last one, while somewhat enjoyable and fresh, was a nightmare where pacing, editing, and plot is concerned--this'll just be worse with the overbloat of characters.

My kid's watching Spider-Man as I type this. Spidey just made a 'you're gay' joke to Macho Man Randy Savage with Bruce Campbell in the same scene. None of the Spidey sequels/reboots hold up to the first film. Ditto, Superman.
 
2014-05-02 05:35:48 PM  
This movie needs to fail so Marvel can buy the rights back. Ditto Fantastic Four. X-men always -- kinda -- had it's own self-contained villains and plots. But FF/Spider-man and the rest of the Marvel titles were pretty well integrated into each others stories and villains.

/I know, i know, many xmen/mutants were avengers members
//Where's my Squirrel-Girl movie?
 
2014-05-02 06:26:25 PM  

borg: I thought Rex Reed died years ago.


Date of Death was 1978.
 
2014-05-02 07:13:22 PM  
These comicbook superhero movies are getting more less and less believable, especially when they do and don't stick with the original stories and don't get the correct high paid well unknown actors and use too much of not enough CGI to win an Oscar...
 
2014-05-02 10:26:33 PM  
But first there's a total blackout and the only person who knows how to re-set the power grid is...Gwen?

...

Yeah, I'm out.  I hate that hackneyed shiat.
 
2014-05-02 11:36:41 PM  

protectyourlimbs: These comicbook superhero movies are getting more less and less believable, especially when they do and don't stick with the original stories and don't get the correct high paid well unknown actors and use too much of not enough CGI to win an Oscar...


Ynoes, I really don't not disagree in the worst way
 
2014-05-03 03:41:11 AM  
Well, time to reboot the franchise again, Sony.
 
2014-05-03 03:53:20 AM  
Everybody each separately doesn't not have their right to not care about other people's ideas based on how they don't not personally feel, or not....
 
2014-05-03 05:05:47 PM  
Update: Spiderman 2 was a fun movie, that is all.
 
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