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(Chicago Trib)   You will suffer great misfortune at work today   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 70
    More: Sad, Texas, factory  
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9164 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2014 at 9:43 AM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-02 12:32:49 AM
Oh god.  THIS HEADLINE NEEDS TO BE GREENLIT.

/or greenlighted.  WHATEVER, JUST DO IT.
 
2014-05-02 09:05:14 AM
Clearly a wonton disregard for safety.
 
2014-05-02 09:17:09 AM
AUSTIN, Texas (Reuters) - A 26-year-old worker at a fortune cookie factor died of multiple blunt trauma injuries...in bed.
 
2014-05-02 09:44:18 AM
If only something could have warned him...
 
2014-05-02 09:45:31 AM

bearded clamorer: Clearly a wonton disregard for safety.


The workplace was too dangerous due to a general tsorry attitude towards maintenance.
 
2014-05-02 09:47:42 AM
I worked for a small pickle company. I once stuck my dick in the pickle cutter...
 
2014-05-02 09:49:07 AM
It looks like those lucky numbers did get the guy a lot of dough.
 
2014-05-02 09:49:22 AM
I give up my window seat to Subby. You deserve it.
 
2014-05-02 09:49:34 AM

Danger Mouse: I worked for a small pickle company. I once stuck my dick in the pickle cutter...


Was she cute?
 
2014-05-02 09:50:34 AM
Does anyone have pictures of a dough machine that you can "fall" in to?  I work around a lot of industrial machinery, and these things always confuse me because I envision some type of cat walk over a giant open vat... but I've never seen a machine designed like this in real life.

It just seems... stupid.
 
2014-05-02 09:51:18 AM
... in bed.
 
2014-05-02 09:51:31 AM

TheShavingofOccam123


bearded clamorer: Clearly a wonton disregard for safety.

The workplace was too dangerous due to a general tsorry attitude towards maintenance.


These things happen in spring, roll with it.
 
2014-05-02 09:51:52 AM

untaken_name: Danger Mouse: I worked for a small pickle company. I once stuck my dick in the pickle cutter...

Was she cute?


;)
 
2014-05-02 09:51:55 AM
There's a 5 minute memorial planned at the factory. They can't turn everything off but they're going to dim sum lights.
 
2014-05-02 09:52:23 AM
"You will be overtaken by a great urge for cookie dough today."
 
2014-05-02 09:52:25 AM
I'm a software lead, I suffer great misfortune at work EVERY day...
 
2014-05-02 09:53:26 AM
Your puns are killin' me. But in the good sense of the word.
 
2014-05-02 09:54:03 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: bearded clamorer: Clearly a wonton disregard for safety.

The workplace was too dangerous due to a general tsorry attitude towards maintenance.


Udon with these puns? Because a great tragedy has happened
 
2014-05-02 09:55:09 AM
I'm assuming it was suicide, he'd been trapped in that factory for years.  If only he'd had a way of getting a message out...
 
2014-05-02 09:55:12 AM
That wasn't chicken.
 
2014-05-02 09:55:20 AM
These puns are lo, mein.
 
2014-05-02 09:57:01 AM

Hack Patooey: I'm a software lead, I suffer great misfortune at work EVERY day...


Sure you do, now finish the software so my documentation team of trained chimps can write the useless help system nobody will ever use.
 
2014-05-02 09:57:14 AM
Confucius say: Man who work with dough working machine, end up dying from blunt trauma!
 
2014-05-02 09:58:48 AM
He shall rise in 3 days.
 
2014-05-02 10:02:14 AM
It's been done before...

www.digitallyobsessed.com
 
2014-05-02 10:04:05 AM
Say what you want about old Elmer over there but he sure throws himself into his work.  It's like there is a little piece of Elmer in all these cookies.
 
2014-05-02 10:05:02 AM
And today is different how?
 
2014-05-02 10:08:17 AM
The victim, Elmer ....

blunt trauma injuries after falling into a dough-mixing machine

Elmer Thud?
 
2014-05-02 10:10:33 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: TheShavingofOccam123

bearded clamorer: Clearly a wonton disregard for safety.

The workplace was too dangerous due to a general tsorry attitude towards maintenance.


These things happen in spring, roll with it.


Good jorb
 
2014-05-02 10:10:51 AM
What does yours say?

Um, nothing, its just a red smear. That's weird.
 
2014-05-02 10:11:22 AM
The victim, Elmer ....

I always thought those cookies tasted a bit like glue.
 
2014-05-02 10:12:12 AM

EasilyDistracted: It's been done before...

[www.digitallyobsessed.com image 214x300]


Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. One of the more memorable opening deaths.
 
2014-05-02 10:12:54 AM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-02 10:13:09 AM
Looks like there was big trouble in little old china town today
 
2014-05-02 10:14:00 AM
Szechuan do we make fun of someone dying?
 
2014-05-02 10:14:35 AM

Tom_Slick: Hack Patooey: I'm a software lead, I suffer great misfortune at work EVERY day...

Sure you do, now finish the software so my documentation team of trained chimps can write the useless help system nobody will ever use.


You want me to deprioritize my current reports until you advise me of a status upgrade?
 
2014-05-02 10:18:50 AM

Hack Patooey: Tom_Slick: Hack Patooey: I'm a software lead, I suffer great misfortune at work EVERY day...

Sure you do, now finish the software so my documentation team of trained chimps can write the useless help system nobody will ever use.

You want me to deprioritize my current reports until you advise me of a status upgrade?


Sure, then have one your script kiddies write some bad code that brings down the server, then we can go to the bar and let the hardware guys sort things out.  It's Friday after all.
 
2014-05-02 10:23:55 AM
Fortunately, this happened in Texas where there is no regulation against it.
 
2014-05-02 10:24:44 AM
How can anyone sit here and read these awful puns when we should be in mourning for the death of sum yun guy?
 
2014-05-02 10:25:00 AM
 The Man™ always wins

www.i-mockery.com
 
2014-05-02 10:25:09 AM
I am PunGent, and I heartily approve of this thread.

/actually lol'd, well done all.
//poor guy, though...shouldn't pull his leg...right into the machine...
 
2014-05-02 10:27:03 AM
DOH!
 
2014-05-02 10:29:01 AM

Alonjar: Does anyone have pictures of a dough machine that you can "fall" in to?  I work around a lot of industrial machinery, and these things always confuse me because I envision some type of cat walk over a giant open vat... but I've never seen a machine designed like this in real life.

It just seems... stupid

I'm thinking that the put his hand into the machinery to retrive something and got pulled into it.  The vat probably isn't big enough to crush all of him, but big enough to crush his head.

 
2014-05-02 10:29:24 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: There's a 5 minute memorial planned at the factory. They can't turn everything off but they're going to dim sum lights.


The problem with the memorials is that an hour later you're ready for another one.
 
2014-05-02 10:34:10 AM
I bet he was rolling in the dough


/not mine
 
2014-05-02 10:35:35 AM

AugieDoggyDaddy: The vat probably isn't big enough to crush all of him, but big enough to crush his head.


cf.geekdo-images.com
 
2014-05-02 10:39:40 AM

Alonjar: Does anyone have pictures of a dough machine that you can "fall" in to?  I work around a lot of industrial machinery, and these things always confuse me because I envision some type of cat walk over a giant open vat... but I've never seen a machine designed like this in real life.

It just seems... stupid.


#87 on the Evil Overlord List:
My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
 
2014-05-02 10:42:55 AM
Good, I'm about had it with farking fortune cookies anyway.

/Roomie has a Chinese wife.
 
2014-05-02 10:43:02 AM
Captain Sum Ting Wong

was unavailable for comment
 
2014-05-02 10:43:30 AM
Nicely done, Subs, nicely done.
 
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