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(Fox 40 Sacramento)   Cops, Imma let you finish chasing me ... but first, Imma gonna drink these stolen beers   (fox40.com) divider line 28
    More: Amusing, Sacramento County Sheriff, gas stations, cops, drinks  
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3045 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2014 at 4:39 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-01 04:42:15 PM  
What idiot steals from a cop car?
 
2014-05-01 04:42:57 PM  
a thirsty man
 
2014-05-01 04:44:37 PM  
We need a Fark filter for "Imma". Also, stolen beer tastes better.
 
2014-05-01 04:45:13 PM  
This guy sounds like a human seagull.
 
2014-05-01 04:47:08 PM  
The man then reportedly ran into the Watt Avenue and Antelope Road Shell station and partially closed the security screen, said Sheriff's Sgt. Lisa Bowman.

"Antelope Road, 1 mile."
...

"Antelope Road, 1/2 mile."

...

"Antelope Road, 1/4 mile."

...

"Antelope Road, 1/8 mile."

...

"Antelope Road, 1/16 mile."

...

"Antelope Road, 1/32 mile."

...
 
2014-05-01 04:48:34 PM  

caddisfly: We need a Fark filter for "Imma". Also, stolen beer tastes better.


But then we'd never be able to spell words like...um..."scrimmage".
 
2014-05-01 04:50:15 PM  
Stay thirsty, my criminal.
 
2014-05-01 04:51:07 PM  
Wasn't me. I haven't stolen from a cop car and barricaded myself in a Shell station to drink beer since like 2008.
 
2014-05-01 04:55:24 PM  
Did he need medical attention cuz he was super drunk or from the whoopin the cops probably laid on him?
 
2014-05-01 04:56:01 PM  
Hey, if you're going to do time anyway, you can do the time and not drink the beer, or you can do the time and drink the beer.

Simple choice, really.
 
2014-05-01 04:59:36 PM  
"..................Antelope Road, 1/32 mile."

 Whoa. Very old school.

/"and over here you got your FM"
//More Science High alum
 
2014-05-01 04:59:37 PM  
That should be spelled I'ma, subby. Imma would be pronounced like Emma, and the second m makes no sense whatsoever.
 
2014-05-01 05:02:03 PM  

LazyMedia: That should be spelled I'ma, subby. Imma would be pronounced like Emma, and the second m makes no sense whatsoever.


Also, who says I'ma gonna? You'd say I'm gonna, or I'ma. I guess the key takeaway here, subby, is that your headline is bad and you should feel bad.
 
2014-05-01 05:02:39 PM  
How 'bout "Eyemuh"? Is that better?
 
2014-05-01 05:12:54 PM  

LazyMedia: That should be spelled I'ma, subby. Imma would be pronounced like Emma, and the second m makes no sense whatsoever.


Personally, when I use it- and I do, frequently, in texts with my wife- I prefer I'mma. That's how it's saved in my phone dictionary, so I can Swype it.
 
2014-05-01 05:36:58 PM  

Gonz: LazyMedia: That should be spelled I'ma, subby. Imma would be pronounced like Emma, and the second m makes no sense whatsoever.

Personally, when I use it- and I do, frequently, in texts with my wife- I prefer I'mma. That's how it's saved in my phone dictionary, so I can Swype it.


Yeah, it's imma.  Deal with it.
 
2014-05-01 05:42:16 PM  
False imprisonment seems a bit of an overcharge if the dude didn't even realize other people where in there.
 
2014-05-01 05:45:06 PM  

Zombies ate my neighbors: False imprisonment seems a bit of an overcharge if the dude didn't even realize other people where in there.


What would lead someone to believe it would be empty? You default assumption should be "they must be somewhere" even if that's followed by "oh well" rather than "I'm gonna find them"
 
2014-05-01 06:00:27 PM  
Not yet?
westernrifleshooters.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-01 06:35:11 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-01 07:26:25 PM  
"Imma gonna" makes no sense since Imma is a contraction of "I'm gonna" or "I'm finna".
 
2014-05-01 07:34:43 PM  

cgraves67: This guy sounds like a human seagull.


Except for the part about running so very far away. He failed there.
 
2014-05-01 08:13:15 PM  

LazyMedia: That should be spelled I'ma, subby. Imma would be pronounced like Emma, and the second m makes no sense whatsoever.


Exactly. It's sad when people can't even get their ebonics right.
 
2014-05-01 08:55:22 PM  

germ78: "Imma gonna" makes no sense since Imma is a contraction of "I'm gonna" or "I'm finna".


In some areas, mostly to the south and east, the "-a" is merely a syllabic placeholder, and doesn't change the meaning from "I'm". I don't know what the technical term for this is, but maybe Fark has a linguist or two around.
 
2014-05-02 02:10:31 AM  

mark12A: "..................Antelope Road, 1/32 mile."

 Whoa. Very old school.

/"and over here you got your FM"
//More Science High alum


For the yung 'uns:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PsUxlJJzzY
 
2014-05-02 02:14:24 AM  
 
2014-05-02 11:27:07 AM  

buckler: Or even this.


FS's prescience never ceases to amaze me.  Dash-mounted GPSr voice, at least a quarter of a century before it actually happened.

/combined with zeno's paradox
 
2014-05-02 12:21:30 PM  

MBooda: buckler: Or even this.

FS's prescience never ceases to amaze me.  Dash-mounted GPSr voice, at least a quarter of a century before it actually happened.

/combined with zeno's paradox


Those were the words on the signs he's passing. Spot on about Zeno, though.
 
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