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(Boston.com)   To spread awareness of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Mass.gov tweets "Sexual assault is always avoidable. Also, stop dressing like a whore"   (boston.com) divider line 209
    More: Obvious, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Assistant Secretary  
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3366 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 May 2014 at 12:36 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-01 10:25:18 AM
A Message from Kathleen Betts, Assistant Secretary, Office of Children, Youth, and Families:
Did you know that 4,418 adolescents and adults are sexually assaulted across our Commonwealth each year? What a bunch of idiots. I wasn't assaulted, so clearly, they must be doing something unreasonable. This month, I proudly listened to Governor Deval Patrick proclaim April as Sexual Assault Awareness Month.  According to data collected by the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center, 1 out of every 6 women and 1 out of every 33 men in the US report being victims of rape in their lifetime. That means that 5 out of 6 women and 32 of 33 men don't report it, something that makes me very proud. And for those remaining sluts, I mean, seriously? Maybe if they didn't walk around looking like whores, that wouldn't be an issue. And while it is critical to discourage victims from filing reports, we also know that words alone are not enough. These numbers make our office look bad, and it will take all of us to stop them.
 
2014-05-01 11:45:54 AM

Theaetetus: A Message from Kathleen Betts, Assistant Secretary, Office of Children, Youth, and Families:
Did you know that 4,418 adolescents and adults are sexually assaulted across our Commonwealth each year? What a bunch of idiots. I wasn't assaulted, so clearly, they must be doing something unreasonable. This month, I proudly listened to Governor Deval Patrick proclaim April as Sexual Assault Awareness Month.  According to data collected by the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center, 1 out of every 6 women and 1 out of every 33 men in the US report being victims of rape in their lifetime. That means that 5 out of 6 women and 32 of 33 men don't report it, something that makes me very proud. And for those remaining sluts, I mean, seriously? Maybe if they didn't walk around looking like whores, that wouldn't be an issue. And while it is critical to discourage victims from filing reports, we also know that words alone are not enough. These numbers make our office look bad, and it will take all of us to stop them.


ARGH! YOU MADE ME CLICK!
 
2014-05-01 11:52:05 AM
What they meant: Perpetrators of sexual assault can always avoid sexually assaulting someone

How it read: Victims of sexual assault could always have avoided sexual assault

Brevity is the soul of wit, not prudent sociology.
 
2014-05-01 11:54:45 AM
Yes, that tweet could be victim blaming if you want to give the least charitable interpretation of that tweet, or it could be more along the lines of "If people respect others' boundaries, then we can always avoid sexual assault."
 
2014-05-01 11:54:50 AM
Nobody "asks" for it but as the father of a boy and a 9 year old girl, I do intend to teach them some things to keep them safe.  Not how you dress and stupid shiat like that but mostly being aware of your surroundings, the people you are with, and listening to your instincts/fears.  Always know how you are getting home, have back-up plans and generally be aware that there are assholes and predators out there.  Never put yourself in a situation wherein you lose the ability/control to extricate yourself from.

Also, just avoid being high/drunk as much as possible but if you must, make sure you are really confident of the safety of your environment and the people you are with to look after you and assist you getting home.  Plus, call your dad (me) at absolutely anytime you are not sure how you are getting home or uncomfortable with your circumstances.

I don't want to raise a drunk but I also don't want the first time my daughter or son gets drunk to be in an unsafe situation.  I will have a very loose policy about them experimenting with alcohol under my roof.  Rather they learn the pitfalls there than somewhere else.
 
2014-05-01 11:55:58 AM

factoryconnection: Brevity is the soul of wit, not prudent sociology.


brevity good.
 
2014-05-01 11:59:58 AM

mrshowrules: Nobody "asks" for it but as the father of a boy and a 9 year old girl, I do intend to teach them some things to keep them safe.  Not how you dress and stupid shiat like that but mostly being aware of your surroundings, the people you are with, and listening to your instincts/fears.  Always know how you are getting home, have back-up plans and generally be aware that there are assholes and predators out there.  Never put yourself in a situation wherein you lose the ability/control to extricate yourself from.

Also, just avoid being high/drunk as much as possible but if you must, make sure you are really confident of the safety of your environment and the people you are with to look after you and assist you getting home.  Plus, call your dad (me) at absolutely anytime you are not sure how you are getting home or uncomfortable with your circumstances.

I don't want to raise a drunk but I also don't want the first time my daughter or son gets drunk to be in an unsafe situation.  I will have a very loose policy about them experimenting with alcohol under my roof.  Rather they learn the pitfalls there than somewhere else.


Another thing to add would be "step in if you see your friends taking advantage of someone that is high or drunk, or if they're the ones getting taken advantage of."  Predators thrive on their ability to coast in plain sight because people don't like making waves.  While we can keep trying to drill in the "stop raping people" message we also need to make the environment less conducive to them grooming and isolating victims.
 
2014-05-01 12:41:28 PM
Yes the statement is true but sexual assaulters have lousy avoidance skills.
 
2014-05-01 12:41:33 PM

factoryconnection: While we can keep trying to drill in the "stop raping people" message we also need to make the environment less conducive to them grooming and isolating victims.


This is also the reason the "you shouldn't wear x" message is harmful - it helps rapists select potential victims based on their clothing, knowing that the public will find them less credible.
 
2014-05-01 12:42:23 PM
Every crime is avoidable.Just the other day 3 teens shot a cabbie around here. If only someone had taught them not to do that.
 
2014-05-01 12:44:39 PM
Well, sure it's always avoidable. Like, for example, everyone could just avoid sexually assaulting other folks.
 
2014-05-01 12:44:57 PM

Theaetetus: factoryconnection: While we can keep trying to drill in the "stop raping people" message we also need to make the environment less conducive to them grooming and isolating victims.

This is also the reason the "you shouldn't wear x" message is harmful - it helps rapists select potential victims based on their clothing, knowing that the public will find them less credible.


When every woman wears grey flannel and mom jeans, the rapists have won.
 
2014-05-01 12:48:17 PM

Mrbogey: Every crime is avoidable.Just the other day 3 teens shot a cabbie around here. If only someone had taught them not to do that.


is that because...."responsible gun owners" that the FarkliberalsTM like to throw around?
 
2014-05-01 12:48:26 PM
No one deserves to be a victim but you can do things to prevent yourself from being a victim.
 
2014-05-01 12:48:30 PM
If 8 year olds would stop dressing so provocatively, their uncles wouldn't get frisky. Duh!
 
2014-05-01 12:48:56 PM
I've been avoiding being sexually assaulted for years. Damnit!
 
2014-05-01 12:50:50 PM

BalugaJoe: No one deserves to be a victim but you can do things to prevent yourself from being a victim.


Such as?
 
2014-05-01 12:53:35 PM

Karac: Such as?


Never accept an opened drink from a stranger? I thought that one was pretty universally accepted.
 
2014-05-01 12:56:34 PM

Karac: BalugaJoe: No one deserves to be a victim but you can do things to prevent yourself from being a victim.

Such as?


DURR DON'T WALK THROUGH THE BAD NEIGHBORHOODS AT MIDNITE

Now that that's out of the way, what about the 8-in-10 that are acquaintance rapes? "Don't have acquaintances"?
 
2014-05-01 12:57:51 PM

BalugaJoe: No one deserves to be a victim but you can do things to prevent yourself from being a victim.


fc00.deviantart.net
 
2014-05-01 12:58:20 PM

Karac: BalugaJoe: No one deserves to be a victim but you can do things to prevent yourself from being a victim.

Such as?


Concealed carry
 
2014-05-01 12:58:21 PM

nmrsnr: Karac: Such as?

Never accept an opened drink from a stranger? I thought that one was pretty universally accepted.


I don't think anyone disagrees that not taking drinks off someone is a way to avoid being date raped. Where people get tetchy is where behaviour that is  nobody else's farking business, like wearing revealing clothing or being alone at night, is cited as something that should be avoided if one does not want to be raped. It's not incumbent on someone to not be raped, it's incumbent on everyone else not to rape them.
 
2014-05-01 12:58:32 PM

mrshowrules: factoryconnection: Brevity is the soul of wit, not prudent sociology.

brevity good.


Brevity. Wit. Good.
 
2014-05-01 12:58:53 PM

Mrbogey: Every crime is avoidable.Just the other day 3 teens shot a cabbie around here. If only someone had taught them not to do that.


To follow more closely with this story the cabbie should have been taught not to be so vulnerable.
 
2014-05-01 12:59:20 PM

Theaetetus: factoryconnection: While we can keep trying to drill in the "stop raping people" message we also need to make the environment less conducive to them grooming and isolating victims.

This is also the reason the "you shouldn't wear x" message is harmful - it helps rapists select potential victims based on their clothing, knowing that the public will find them less credible.


Furthermore, I seem to remember reading (I think from a Snopes article?) that there is no statistical correlation between what someone wears and their likelihood of being a rape victim.

Karac: BalugaJoe: No one deserves to be a victim but you can do things to prevent yourself from being a victim.

Such as?


Two things that spring to mind are studying the martial arts and learning how to recognize a predator.  Neither is a guarantee, but they help.
 
2014-05-01 12:59:40 PM

NeverDrunk23: mrshowrules: factoryconnection: Brevity is the soul of wit, not prudent sociology.

brevity good.

Brevity. Wit. Good.


Fire bad.
 
2014-05-01 01:00:06 PM
Poe's law always seems to hem in any reasonable joke about rape policy.  Kinda sucks that so many backwards people exist.
 
2014-05-01 01:03:35 PM

Karac: BalugaJoe: No one deserves to be a victim but you can do things to prevent yourself from being a victim.

Such as?


Be ugly. Don't be NOT ugly. Be fat. Don't be NOT fat.
 
2014-05-01 01:05:23 PM

Saiga410: NeverDrunk23: mrshowrules: factoryconnection: Brevity is the soul of wit, not prudent sociology.

brevity good.

Brevity. Wit. Good.

Fire bad.


ME AM PLAY GODS
 
2014-05-01 01:06:23 PM

PortsmouthFarker: being alone at night


I'd take some issue with this one. If only because walking alone at night is always a somewhat dangerous proposition. I'm a dude, and if I want to take steps to make sure I don't get mugged, there are certain places I don't go and certain hours I don't go there, or if I must I bring along as many people as I can. This does not mean that I deserve to get mugged if I don't follow those precautions, but if we're talking about preventative steps, those same rules apply regardless of what we're discussing.
 
2014-05-01 01:07:30 PM

PortsmouthFarker: nmrsnr: Karac: Such as?

Never accept an opened drink from a stranger? I thought that one was pretty universally accepted.

I don't think anyone disagrees that not taking drinks off someone is a way to avoid being date raped. Where people get tetchy is where behaviour that is  nobody else's farking business, like wearing revealing clothing or being alone at night, is cited as something that should be avoided if one does not want to be raped. It's not incumbent on someone to not be raped, it's incumbent on everyone else not to rape them.


While of course that is true, it's harmful to say that advice like "don't walk around bad parts of town, especially alone, if you can avoid it" is "blaming the victim". It's not. Every travel guide in the world says that.

When I was on vacation in Europe we were walking around trying to find a "local" place to eat and noticed that the streets had gotten a lot seedier and there were a lot more broken windows and empty storefronts. We immediately walked back the way we had come. If we had been assaulted, it would've been no one's fault but our attacker's - but that doesn't mean we were wrong to be aware of where we were and leave.
 
2014-05-01 01:07:46 PM
Re election is always avoidable now allow me to demonstrate.
 
2014-05-01 01:09:13 PM

factoryconnection: mrshowrules: Nobody "asks" for it but as the father of a boy and a 9 year old girl, I do intend to teach them some things to keep them safe.  Not how you dress and stupid shiat like that but mostly being aware of your surroundings, the people you are with, and listening to your instincts/fears.  Always know how you are getting home, have back-up plans and generally be aware that there are assholes and predators out there.  Never put yourself in a situation wherein you lose the ability/control to extricate yourself from.

Also, just avoid being high/drunk as much as possible but if you must, make sure you are really confident of the safety of your environment and the people you are with to look after you and assist you getting home.  Plus, call your dad (me) at absolutely anytime you are not sure how you are getting home or uncomfortable with your circumstances.

I don't want to raise a drunk but I also don't want the first time my daughter or son gets drunk to be in an unsafe situation.  I will have a very loose policy about them experimenting with alcohol under my roof.  Rather they learn the pitfalls there than somewhere else.

Another thing to add would be "step in if you see your friends taking advantage of someone that is high or drunk, or if they're the ones getting taken advantage of."  Predators thrive on their ability to coast in plain sight because people don't like making waves.  While we can keep trying to drill in the "stop raping people" message we also need to make the environment less conducive to them grooming and isolating victims.


It's a subtle point, but an absolutely critical one.  There are steps you can take to mitigate (not eliminate) your risks.  This isn't to say that you share any fault if you are assaulted even if you didn't take those steps.
 
2014-05-01 01:10:47 PM

Dr Dreidel: Karac: BalugaJoe: No one deserves to be a victim but you can do things to prevent yourself from being a victim.

Such as?

DURR DON'T WALK THROUGH THE BAD NEIGHBORHOODS AT MIDNITE

Now that that's out of the way, what about the 8-in-10 that are acquaintance rapes? "Don't have acquaintances"?


Hey, safety requires sacrifice.
 
2014-05-01 01:11:55 PM

Dr Dreidel: Karac: BalugaJoe: No one deserves to be a victim but you can do things to prevent yourself from being a victim.

Such as?

DURR DON'T WALK THROUGH THE BAD NEIGHBORHOODS AT MIDNITE

Now that that's out of the way, what about the 8-in-10 that are acquaintance rapes? "Don't have acquaintances"?


So giving advice that could help avoid 2 out of 10 is stupid?
 
2014-05-01 01:12:36 PM
One good way to reduce your chances is if someone asks you "Does this smell like cloriform"  always answer no.
 
2014-05-01 01:13:18 PM

PortsmouthFarker: nmrsnr: Karac: Such as?

Never accept an opened drink from a stranger? I thought that one was pretty universally accepted.

I don't think anyone disagrees that not taking drinks off someone is a way to avoid being date raped. Where people get tetchy is where behaviour that is  nobody else's farking business, like wearing revealing clothing or being alone at night, is cited as something that should be avoided if one does not want to be raped. It's not incumbent on someone to not be raped, it's incumbent on everyone else not to rape them.


"She shouldn't have to take steps to avoid being raped...he should be taught not to rape!"

...that works like, every time.  And by "every time" I mean "not a damn bit".  That feminists have made this their rallying cry (and have moved it on to other things, like the dumbass "ban bossy" campaign) is harming women more than it's helping.

/Vigilance is hard. Platitudes are easy.
 
2014-05-01 01:14:52 PM

nmrsnr: Karac: Such as?

Never accept an opened drink from a stranger? I thought that one was pretty universally accepted.


And yet, I'm sure that you, I, and every other guy in the world that have been to a college keg party have accepted a Solo cup of beer from a stranger, without concern.
 
2014-05-01 01:15:07 PM

IlGreven: PortsmouthFarker: nmrsnr: Karac: Such as?

Never accept an opened drink from a stranger? I thought that one was pretty universally accepted.

I don't think anyone disagrees that not taking drinks off someone is a way to avoid being date raped. Where people get tetchy is where behaviour that is  nobody else's farking business, like wearing revealing clothing or being alone at night, is cited as something that should be avoided if one does not want to be raped. It's not incumbent on someone to not be raped, it's incumbent on everyone else not to rape them.

"She shouldn't have to take steps to avoid being raped...he should be taught not to rape!"

...that works like, every time.  And by "every time" I mean "not a damn bit".  That feminists have made this their rallying cry (and have moved it on to other things, like the dumbass "ban bossy" campaign) is harming women more than it's helping.

/Vigilance is hard. Platitudes are easy.


No, it's correct - a person shouldn't have to take any steps to avoid being assaulted, and if a person is assaulted, it's entirely the attacker's fault.

That being said, it's harmful to say "it's wrong to advise people to avoid bad parts of town if they can!" No, it's not. Avoid bad parts of town if you can.
 
2014-05-01 01:17:45 PM

Lord Dimwit: While of course that is true, it's harmful to say that advice like "don't walk around bad parts of town, especially alone, if you can avoid it" is "blaming the victim". It's not. Every travel guide in the world says that.


Sure, but if I (a dude) get robbed, or my car gets broken into in a sketchy part of town, there's not much "well, you shouldn't have been walking alone/been there" finger-wagging going on at me. Yet, said finger-wagging seems to increase if the subject is a female and the crime in question is a sexual one.
 
2014-05-01 01:18:08 PM

Saiga410: One good way to reduce your chances is if someone asks you "Does this smell like cloriform"  always answer no.


That's how I met my wife.
 
2014-05-01 01:18:19 PM

Stile4aly: It's a subtle point, but an absolutely critical one.  There are steps you can take to mitigate (not eliminate) your risks.  This isn't to say that you share any fault if you are assaulted even if you didn't take those steps.


Sure. It's a good idea to lock your car and house, too. The difference, however, is that when the police investigate car theft, they don't ask the victim that, since it was unlocked, didn't they really  want it stolen, and do they really want to put the alleged thief through all of this, knowing how it will ruin his life?
 
2014-05-01 01:18:48 PM

mrshowrules: Nobody "asks" for it but as the father of a boy and a 9 year old girl, I do intend to teach them some things to keep them safe.  Not how you dress and stupid shiat like that but mostly being aware of your surroundings, the people you are with, and listening to your instincts/fears.  Always know how you are getting home, have back-up plans and generally be aware that there are assholes and predators out there.  Never put yourself in a situation wherein you lose the ability/control to extricate yourself from.

Also, just avoid being high/drunk as much as possible but if you must, make sure you are really confident of the safety of your environment and the people you are with to look after you and assist you getting home.  Plus, call your dad (me) at absolutely anytime you are not sure how you are getting home or uncomfortable with your circumstances.

I don't want to raise a drunk but I also don't want the first time my daughter or son gets drunk to be in an unsafe situation.  I will have a very loose policy about them experimenting with alcohol under my roof.  Rather they learn the pitfalls there than somewhere else.


My daughter is 15 and my wife and I have been hammering rules.  Only drink with people you trust, never put your drink down, if you do its gone.  As far as DUI, you can always get a ride and nothing will be said until the next day.
 
2014-05-01 01:18:48 PM

IlGreven: PortsmouthFarker: nmrsnr: Karac: Such as?

Never accept an opened drink from a stranger? I thought that one was pretty universally accepted.

I don't think anyone disagrees that not taking drinks off someone is a way to avoid being date raped. Where people get tetchy is where behaviour that is  nobody else's farking business, like wearing revealing clothing or being alone at night, is cited as something that should be avoided if one does not want to be raped. It's not incumbent on someone to not be raped, it's incumbent on everyone else not to rape them.

"She shouldn't have to take steps to avoid being raped...he should be taught not to rape!"

...that works like, every time.  And by "every time" I mean "not a damn bit".  That feminists have made this their rallying cry (and have moved it on to other things, like the dumbass "ban bossy" campaign) is harming women more than it's helping.

/Vigilance is hard. Platitudes are easy.


Except education campaigns along the lines of "hey, x socially acceptable practice is actually really bad and illegal and if you do it you are a rapist" really do cause significant drops in rates of sexual assault.
 
2014-05-01 01:19:29 PM

nmrsnr: Yes, that tweet could be victim blaming if you want to give the least charitable interpretation of that tweet, or it could be more along the lines of "If people respect others' boundaries, then we can always avoid sexual assault."


"Sexual assault wouldn't happen if people would stop sexually assaulting each other."

Thanks, John Madden.
 
2014-05-01 01:19:38 PM

Lord Dimwit: That being said, it's harmful to say "it's wrong to advise people to avoid bad parts of town if they can!" No, it's not. Avoid bad parts of town if you can.


Does that mean that women who live or work in bad parts of town are less likely to have their rapes investigated or their rapists convicted? Because that's where the problem is.
 
2014-05-01 01:19:38 PM

Theaetetus: nmrsnr: Karac: Such as?

Never accept an opened drink from a stranger? I thought that one was pretty universally accepted.

And yet, I'm sure that you, I, and every other guy in the world that have been to a college keg party have accepted a Solo cup of beer from a stranger, without concern.


I wouldn't say I was free of concern, but I drank it anyway.
 
2014-05-01 01:19:53 PM

Arkanaut: Theaetetus: factoryconnection: While we can keep trying to drill in the "stop raping people" message we also need to make the environment less conducive to them grooming and isolating victims.

This is also the reason the "you shouldn't wear x" message is harmful - it helps rapists select potential victims based on their clothing, knowing that the public will find them less credible.

When every woman wears grey flannel and mom jeans, the rapists have won.


Along similar lines, I have seen people argue that women shouldn't wear skirts if they don't want some creep trying to get upskirt camera shots. A world where women don't wear skirts and creeps run free? No thanks.
 
2014-05-01 01:21:27 PM
i20.photobucket.com

These things can happen to anyone.
 
2014-05-01 01:21:49 PM

Theaetetus: Stile4aly: It's a subtle point, but an absolutely critical one.  There are steps you can take to mitigate (not eliminate) your risks.  This isn't to say that you share any fault if you are assaulted even if you didn't take those steps.

Sure. It's a good idea to lock your car and house, too. The difference, however, is that when the police investigate car theft, they don't ask the victim that, since it was unlocked, didn't they really  want it stolen,


They may take an insurance fraud angle.

and do they really want to put the alleged thief through all of this, knowing how it will ruin his life?

That probably wouldn't happen, unless the thief was one of their informants.
 
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