If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CBS Los Angeles 2)   Old and busted: Seeing Jesus on toast. New Hotness: Seeing Jesus on a pancake. A Flapjesus, if you will   (losangeles.cbslocal.com) divider line 44
    More: Unlikely, tags, Norco  
•       •       •

1612 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2014 at 12:39 PM (13 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-01 09:34:18 AM
So long as it's not FapJesus.  That would be wrong.
 
2014-05-01 11:06:35 AM
A Saviourjack?  Jesus Cakes?
 
2014-05-01 12:09:59 PM
I see Rob Zombie.  No, it's Mick Foley.  Wait...it's two rabbits farking.
 
2014-05-01 12:21:10 PM
Definitely Charles Manson
 
2014-05-01 12:42:06 PM
I saw an image of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in my dinner last night.

Of course my having spaghetti and meatballs might have had something to do with it. I'd rather think it was a sign from above.
 
2014-05-01 12:45:08 PM
Well, He was pretty battered before the hung him on the cross. I'm going to H. E. double hockey sticks.
 
2014-05-01 12:49:41 PM
Flapjesus, who art in kitchen, griddle be thy flame
By flipper down, thy edges brown, on plate, is it was on stovetop
Give us this day our maple syrup, and forgive us our spillage
As we forgive those who get syrup on the edges of the bottle
Lead us not into hazelnut, but deliver us from sugar-free
For thine is the palate, most delicious, and tasty
For ever and ever.
Amen.
 
2014-05-01 12:50:45 PM
I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.
 
2014-05-01 12:51:49 PM
greenupmusic.com
 
2014-05-01 12:52:21 PM
I am disappoint. I would have expected Jeezus to appear in a better quality, unburnt pancake. Maybe the Miracle Hotline was very busy and he was just rushed.
 
2014-05-01 12:58:28 PM
Nope, Frank Zappa.
 
2014-05-01 01:02:25 PM

SonsoftheSod: Nope, Frank Zappa.


Yup, fair enough with the iconic 'stache shape, I just didn't see any other FZ in it otherwise.
What we can all agree on, taint Jeezus.
 
2014-05-01 01:04:06 PM

no icon tact: SonsoftheSod: Nope, Frank Zappa.

Yup, fair enough with the iconic 'stache shape, I just didn't see any other FZ in it otherwise.
What we can all agree on, taint Jeezus.


Ha! It was an attempt @ Mickey Mouse

http://doubtfulnews.com/2014/04/time-to-play-whos-face-is-in-the-pan ca ke-zappa/
 
2014-05-01 01:05:45 PM

Darth Skywalker: Definitely Charles Manson


This was my first impression, but after a second glance I'm going with Karl Marx.
 
2014-05-01 01:06:53 PM
I see the state of New York on top of the Bat-signal.
 
2014-05-01 01:13:01 PM

codigo: I saw an image of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in my dinner last night.

Of course my having spaghetti and meatballs might have had something to do with it. I'd rather think it was a sign from above.


"I keep seeing him in my food! This can't be coincidence!"
 
2014-05-01 01:14:56 PM
Christjacks
 
2014-05-01 01:15:22 PM

no icon tact: SonsoftheSod: Nope, Frank Zappa.

Yup, fair enough with the iconic 'stache shape, I just didn't see any other FZ in it otherwise.
What we can all agree on, taint Jeezus.


I think we all can agree that it's not Jeezus's taint.
 
2014-05-01 01:17:23 PM
He didn't seem like the shaving type...
 
2014-05-01 01:18:17 PM
Jesus would never put his face on a pancake.  French toast, maybe.   Call me when he appears on a calzone.
 
2014-05-01 01:21:57 PM

SonsoftheSod: no icon tact: SonsoftheSod: Nope, Frank Zappa.

Yup, fair enough with the iconic 'stache shape, I just didn't see any other FZ in it otherwise.
What we can all agree on, taint Jeezus.

I think we all can agree that it's not Jeezus's taint.


St. Alfonzo's grundle margarine?
 
2014-05-01 01:30:08 PM

no icon tact: SonsoftheSod: no icon tact: SonsoftheSod: Nope, Frank Zappa.

Yup, fair enough with the iconic 'stache shape, I just didn't see any other FZ in it otherwise.
What we can all agree on, taint Jeezus.

I think we all can agree that it's not Jeezus's taint.

St. Alfonzo's grundle margarine?


I... by Christ's salty grundle, that could be a Zappa lyric, or the name of one of his children.
 
2014-05-01 01:32:42 PM

SonsoftheSod: Nope, Frank Zappa.


Was it at St. Alfonso's Pancake Breakfast?

/Where I stole the margarine.
//They're so light and fluffy white we'll raise a fortune by tonight.
///Good morning your Highness.
 
2014-05-01 01:34:19 PM
Was it a blintz? It's not the true pancake Jesus if it wasn't a blintz.
 
2014-05-01 01:35:48 PM
They call me white Devil, flap Jesus
Heaven closes, Hell freezes
Flap Jesus, white Moses
Heaven freezes, hell closes
 
2014-05-01 01:37:58 PM
Just don't ask for the Lumpy Gravy...
 
2014-05-01 01:41:29 PM
Got to find my Suzy grundle Creamcheese
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
 
2014-05-01 02:03:25 PM
Why is it that people have such confirmation bias? They never see any deity they don't already worship, and you never hear of another religion or an atheist seeing Jesus. And they think that such pareidolia makes them so goddamn special. But what the hell does this prove? Okay, Jesus manifested himself in some object. There his is. Now what? 

And why does he have to prove his existence in such obtuse ways. Poking his head through the clouds would be pretty farking convincing. 

They religious people sure thinks their so goddamn special doesn't them?
 
2014-05-01 02:07:55 PM

Treize26


Christjacks


Flapchrists
 
2014-05-01 02:16:35 PM
This weekend at Denny's:

Your brain, Jesus and your choice of bacon or sausage for only $3.99!
 
2014-05-01 02:21:38 PM
I just ate some swirly ice cream, which contained a near-infinite number of jesuses at various angles and magnifications.

For $10 you can look at a picture of the rest of the ice cream, which presumably has about the same jesus density as the part I ate.

As I'm not especially religious, I do need to ask: Now that I have consumed so many jesuses, am I now a holy religous figure, entitled to an eight-figure income and a large supply of small boys to rape, or am I an enemy of all that is religiony, which may necessitate my hiding out in a shack in the woods for the rest of my life?

I'm not sure I'm rapey enough to be a holy person, and the shack in the woods sounds sort of nice.
 
2014-05-01 02:27:27 PM

I_Am_Weasel: So long as it's not FapJesus.  That would be wrong.


But he's so holy...all those wonderful, wonderful holes. Excuse me, I'll be in my sexy confessional booth.
 
2014-05-01 03:47:47 PM

Carn: Flapjesus, who art in kitchen, griddle be thy flame
By flipper down, thy edges brown, on plate, is it was on stovetop
Give us this day our maple syrup, and forgive us our spillage
As we forgive those who get syrup on the edges of the bottle
Lead us not into hazelnut, but deliver us from sugar-free
For thine is the palate, most delicious, and tasty
For ever and ever.
Amen.


You had this stashed in a folder ready to go, didn't you?

Just how many folders are there?
 
2014-05-01 04:10:04 PM

lindalouwho: Carn: Flapjesus, who art in kitchen, griddle be thy flame
By flipper down, thy edges brown, on plate, is it was on stovetop
Give us this day our maple syrup, and forgive us our spillage
As we forgive those who get syrup on the edges of the bottle
Lead us not into hazelnut, but deliver us from sugar-free
For thine is the palate, most delicious, and tasty
For ever and ever.
Amen.

You had this stashed in a folder ready to go, didn't you?

Just how many folders are there?


I swear I wrote it today when I saw this article.  Flapjesus is my muse.
 
2014-05-01 04:21:08 PM
I was raking up dead grass earlier today and I saw jesus in the lawn I had raked up.
Then in threw him in the bag.
Should I not have done that??
 
2014-05-01 04:34:27 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-01 04:48:26 PM
A flapjewck?

Yeah, I'll show myself the door.
 
2014-05-01 05:13:39 PM

Rigger1955: I was raking up dead grass earlier today and I saw jesus in the lawn I had raked up.
Then in threw him in the bag.
Should I not have done that??


It's not your fault he keeps passing out drunk on your lawn.
 
2014-05-01 05:31:20 PM

Carn: lindalouwho: Carn: Flapjesus, who art in kitchen, griddle be thy flame
By flipper down, thy edges brown, on plate, is it was on stovetop
Give us this day our maple syrup, and forgive us our spillage
As we forgive those who get syrup on the edges of the bottle
Lead us not into hazelnut, but deliver us from sugar-free
For thine is the palate, most delicious, and tasty
For ever and ever.
Amen.

You had this stashed in a folder ready to go, didn't you?

Just how many folders are there?

I swear I wrote it today when I saw this article.  Flapjesus is my muse.


And you are an artiste - I curtsy in your general direction.

/zamboni - cool beat poetry
//Go Pens!
 
2014-05-01 05:31:51 PM
michaelstvtray.files.wordpress.com
Lisa: Olivia! I'm cooking hots cakes. Do you know who dis fellow iz?
Oliver: What fellow?
Lisa: The fellow's face on dis hots cakes!
Oliver: What face? Well I'll be. I don't know about those two, but that one looks like Jebus.
Eb (suddenly appearing): Man I'm starving. Can I have the Jebus hots cakes?
Oliver: NO! This might mean something.
Lisa: If dat one's Jebus, then who are these other two fellows in the hots cakes?
Eb: Looks like Col Jack Hawkins and that one's Fido Castro. Better put the Jebus one between em so they don't fight.
Oliver: Oh of all the... Fido Castro...
Eb: Fido is lacking his trademark seegar (hots cakes pop). Oh! There it is.
Oliver: It's not Fido, it"s Fidel Castro.
Eb: Watch out mom, Jack Hawkins is making a move on Fido.
Lisa: If they're gonna fight, I'll move them further apart on the griddles.
Mr. Haney: Greetings all. I hear tell that you have a hot cakes image of our blessed saint.
Oliver: Mr. Haney! Don't you ever knock?
Mr. Haney: I must warn you, Mister Douglas, when word gets out that you have a graven image of our savior, people will come from miles around to see it. Now, I'm gonna be nice and take that hots cake from you. Say, for $5?
Oliver: I'm not going to sell you a hots...hot cake for $5.
Mr. Haney: Actually, the offer was that I would take the hots cake of our savior and you'd give me $5 for mah effort.
Oliver: Are you crazy? I'd eat that hots... hot cake before I give you $5 to take it away.
Mr. Haney: Eat it? Now who's the crazy one?
Oliver: Mr Haney, if you'll excuse us.
Mr. Ziffle: We heard tell there's a blessed saint appearing on a hots cake. Can Arnold get a glimpse of it? We'll give you a nickle. Twenty five cents if Arnold can get a picture of it. (Arnold appears with a camera around his neck)
Mr. Haney: It's twenty cents and 4 bits respectively.
Oliver: Mr. Haney!
Hank Kimble: Good mornin' everyone. Is this the line to see the hots cake saint? I got my twenty cents ready.
Mr. Haney: Right over here, sir.
Oliver: Mr. Kimble. Mr. Haney! Get out of here at once!
Lisa: Olivia! You yelled so loud, the hots cakes of Jebus fell. Now it looks like Teddy Roosevelts.
Oliver: Well, there. Now no one can look at the hots... hot cake of Jebus. It's gone.
Eb: We don't care about the Jebus hots cakes. He appears on breakfast items all over the valley. Toast, hots cakes, indivudual Corn Flakes...
Hank Kimble: He was in my oatmeal this morning. I wasn't too upset. Did think he could eat that much.
Mr. Ziffle: Jebus is kinda of a show off when it comes to breakfast. We want to see our blessed saint and savior.
Oliver: You don't mean Jack Hawkins?
Mr. Ziffle: Naw. Fido Castro.
Oliver: What?
Mr. Kimble: It was about ten years ago. The valley was going through the worst drought in history. Then this guy, Fido Castro showed up. He taught us to grow tobaccy and showed us how to role seegars just the way those fat cat wall street bankers like 'em. Why we made a fortune that year. Eveyr farm was saved.
Oliver: Well, if you did so well growing tobacco and making see.. cigars, why aren't you still doing it?
Mr Haney: Well, sir. The federal government come through shortly thereafter and paid us to not grow tobaccy. In fact, they paid us better to not grow tobaccy than it paid to grow tobaccy.
Mr. Ziffle: And then we went back to corn and soybeans and the government found out about it and stopped paying us. We'd go back to growing or not growing tobaccy but we've forgotten how to roll them seegars.
Oliver: Oh, of all the... That's not how the government works.
Mr. Kimble: By the way, Mr. Ziffle. I have your Not Growing Sorghum check in my jeep.
Mr. Ziffle: Hot darn. The system works.
Oliver: We can't grow sorghum. The soil's ph level is too high.
Mr. Ziffle: I know that and you know that. But don't tell the government. I need that two dollars and twenty five cents.
Lisa: Olivia! What do you want me to do with the hots cakes of Fido Castro and Jack Hawkins?
Oliver: Give them to Mr. Haney. Everybody! Please get out of my kitchen!
Mr. Haney: Thank you Mr. Douglas. Now there's the matter of my 10 dollars.
Oliver: I thought you said five.
Mr. Haney: That was just for Fido Castro. He's the big draw. I don't know what I'm gonna do with the Jack Hawkins hots cake.
Ralph the Construction Worker: Hey everybody. I heard there's a hots cake of Jack Hawkins. Can I get a look at it?
Mr. Haney: Certainly. Please come to my truck.
Oliver: Everybody! Get out now!
Arnold the Pig: Oink oink.
Ralph the Construction Worker: You said it, Arnold. He's certainly a hots cake portrait party pooper.
 
2014-05-01 06:12:08 PM

NeuroticRocker: Why is it that people have such confirmation bias?


Well, that's what confirmation bias is. If people didn't exhibit it so prevalently then we wouldn't have the concept in the first place. You know?

Personally anyone who claims "miracle" with regards to a random blobby shape should be punched in the junk. I like looking for images in clouds and shiat as much as the next guy. IMHO, if you want to say "hey that water stain looks like Mary" please knock yourself out. Just don't start calling it a miracle and praying to it, FFS.
 
2014-05-01 06:30:23 PM

Carn: Flapjesus, who art in kitchen, griddle be thy flame
By flipper down, thy edges brown, on plate, is it was on stovetop
Give us this day our maple syrup, and forgive us our spillage
As we forgive those who get syrup on the edges of the bottle
Lead us not into hazelnut, but deliver us from sugar-free
For thine is the palate, most delicious, and tasty
For ever and ever.
Amen.


You know what, screw FSM, Flapjesus is way better.

I hereby renounce my belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and declare my undying love of our saviour, Flapjesus.
 
2014-05-01 07:46:09 PM
IC Stars:

I hereby renounce my belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and declare my undying love of our saviour, Flapjesus.

Begun, the Culinary Crusades have.

Something else will "Iron Chef" mean for the next thousand years.
 
2014-05-02 07:28:49 AM
Yeah, well I saw Jesus in the morning in the burning bush. I saw Jesus in the afternoon too. I saw Jesus at dinner time swimming in the stew. That Jesus, he's everywhere!
 
Displayed 44 of 44 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report