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(Daily Star)   Having trouble trying to figure out how to eat your placenta? Here's some help. Subby is going to try to make sausages   (dailystar.co.uk ) divider line 83
    More: Weird, January Jones, health claims  
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1629 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2014 at 11:20 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-30 06:17:00 PM  
The 'sick' tag weeps for subby's soul.
 
2014-04-30 07:05:20 PM  
Eating the afterbirth is what real mammals do.  The important question is whether you appreciate a nice carpaccio or not.
 
2014-04-30 07:53:20 PM  
Well if Kim Kardashian is doing it...
 
2014-04-30 08:14:00 PM  
Do a google search for lotus birth. You won't be sorry you did. I remember asking my wife's OB about it and watching him twitch at the thought.
 
2014-04-30 08:17:18 PM  
Nurse #1: I know, I still can't believe she signed that name on the birth certificate.

Doctor: What name?

Nurse #2: When Dr. Smith* delivered the afterbirth, this mom said, 'Oh my god, what is that?' and Dr. Smith said, 'That's the placenta.'

Nurse #1: Yeah, and then the freakin' idiot says, 'That's the most beautiful name I ever heard! I'm gonna name my baby Placenta.'

Doctor: No, don't tell me-

Nurse #2: Yep.

Doctor: I'm sorry I asked.

                           -- From Overheard In New York.
 
2014-04-30 08:31:17 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: Nurse #1: I know, I still can't believe she signed that name on the birth certificate.

Doctor: What name?

Nurse #2: When Dr. Smith* delivered the afterbirth, this mom said, 'Oh my god, what is that?' and Dr. Smith said, 'That's the placenta.'

Nurse #1: Yeah, and then the freakin' idiot says, 'That's the most beautiful name I ever heard! I'm gonna name my baby Placenta.'

Doctor: No, don't tell me-

Nurse #2: Yep.

Doctor: I'm sorry I asked.

                           -- From Overheard In New York.


My mother works for the local school system, she has seen this in reality happen more than once based on school records.
 
2014-04-30 09:09:06 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: Do a google search for lotus birth. You won't be sorry you did. I remember asking my wife's OB about it and watching him twitch at the thought.


For some reason it reminded me of that episode of Vikings where Ragnar cuts the umbilical cord with his teeth. Take that, natural birthers.
 
2014-04-30 09:51:40 PM  
It looks like roast beef when it's cooked. Smells like it too.
 
2014-04-30 09:54:26 PM  
How about with some fava beans and a nice Chianti?
 
2014-04-30 10:19:18 PM  
I get my placenta from the GIant Iggle over in New Kensington.  They have the best.  Don't tell Aunt Mary!
 
2014-04-30 10:21:21 PM  

BATMANATEE: How about with some fava beans and a nice Chianti?



Forgive me, Dr. Lecter, but I recommend pairing it with a peppery Syrah instead.
 
2014-04-30 10:51:11 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-04-30 11:05:53 PM  
Ick.  Don't get high on your own supply.
 
2014-04-30 11:12:16 PM  
Yuck! That's gross. Plancenta tastes like liver and liver tastes horrible.
 
2014-04-30 11:15:02 PM  
i1282.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-30 11:23:59 PM  
What's worse is some mommies are sharing placenta now.
 
2014-04-30 11:25:38 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-30 11:26:41 PM  
The Aristocrats!
 
2014-04-30 11:27:35 PM  
Step 1: Remove two of your ribs.
 
2014-04-30 11:28:11 PM  
I didn't even know I had a placenta....
 
2014-04-30 11:28:37 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: Do a google search for lotus birth. You won't be sorry you did. I remember asking my wife's OB about it and watching him twitch at the thought.


I was eating a Caesar salad as I went to gis it.

F u.
 
2014-04-30 11:30:01 PM  
However, placentophagy (the act of mums eating the placenta of their young after childbirth) has had its health claims questioned by professionals, who say it's designed to feed the baby not the mother.

And how, might I ask, is the placenta going to "feed the baby", after it is no longer a fetus?
 
2014-04-30 11:34:37 PM  

fusillade762: Well if Kim Kardashian is doing it...


She's not. Later in the article it says that she faked it. I'm a bit upset that the journalistic integrity of a prestigious publication like Star Magazine has been cheapened by this grievous error.
 
2014-04-30 11:35:16 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Eating the afterbirth is what real mammals do.  The important question is whether you appreciate a nice carpaccio or not.


Yeah, but they eat it right after the birth. Raw. Straight off the baby. And it makes sense. Cleans off the young, lets the mom replenish some nutrients, and removes evidence that would lead predators to easy pickings. It's definitely the way to go.

And that's the way human moms should go, too. If you're gonna eat the placenta, just eat it. Right there in the hospital while it's still fresh. You gotta commit, people!
 
2014-04-30 11:35:26 PM  
Thanks, subby.  I was kind of hungry before I read your headline.

Now I don't have to eat anything.

Good thing there's plenty of beer.
 
2014-04-30 11:36:30 PM  
I don't really take "other mammals do it, we should too" as a valid argument.

I have seen the other mammals (that being my two dogs) do the following:

Try to eat a shiatty diaper during a baby change
Eat a pile of vomit
Sniff the butthole of a visiting member of the same species
etc...
 
2014-04-30 11:36:54 PM  
Hmm....Applewood Smoked Placenta Saugage.
 
2014-04-30 11:37:43 PM  

Harry_Seldon: Hmm....Applewood Smoked Placenta Saugage.


Just like mom used to make?
 
2014-04-30 11:37:48 PM  
Yeah.. no one actually does this, as they would die from the shame before they could talk about it.
 
2014-04-30 11:38:39 PM  

Kevin72: And how, might I ask, is the placenta going to "feed the baby", after it is no longer a fetus?


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-30 11:39:51 PM  
My placenta's nearly 26 years old.  Even if they could find it, I doubt it's good anymore.
 
2014-04-30 11:40:08 PM  
Why do you people think it's gross? Women just spent 9 months having their nutrients sapped from their body into the placenta, it makes sense to put it back in her body. Especially since the nutrients apparently help with post-partum depression
/I'm goin pills
 
2014-04-30 11:41:26 PM  
Nope
 
2014-04-30 11:43:13 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: Danger Avoid Death: Nurse #1: I know, I still can't believe she signed that name on the birth certificate.

Doctor: What name?

Nurse #2: When Dr. Smith* delivered the afterbirth, this mom said, 'Oh my god, what is that?' and Dr. Smith said, 'That's the placenta.'

Nurse #1: Yeah, and then the freakin' idiot says, 'That's the most beautiful name I ever heard! I'm gonna name my baby Placenta.'

Doctor: No, don't tell me-

Nurse #2: Yep.

Doctor: I'm sorry I asked.

                           -- From Overheard In New York.

My mother works for the local school system, she has seen this in reality happen more than once based on school records.


I worked for a school system wherein a student's given name was "Carrion".
 
2014-04-30 11:44:26 PM  
Any woman who would eat placenta better not ever complain about giving a bj and swallowing the semen.
 
2014-04-30 11:44:51 PM  
Actually I am glad I wikied then gis'd the lotus birth. It is not gross. It is human. I had no idea that the placenta was that big compaed to the newborns. To me it would make sense for the anti-circ "intacts" crowd to be in favor of lotus birth for a day or two. If you're convinced the surgery of circumcision should be delayed, why not delay the trauma of cutting the cord?
 
2014-04-30 11:46:59 PM  

hervatski: InterruptingQuirk: Do a google search for lotus birth. You won't be sorry you did. I remember asking my wife's OB about it and watching him twitch at the thought.

I was eating a Caesar salad as I went to gis it.

F u.


Looked it up.  Jesus Christ!!!
 
2014-04-30 11:49:58 PM  

buzzcut73: I don't really take "other mammals do it, we should too" as a valid argument.

I have seen the other mammals (that being my two dogs) do the following:

Try to eat a shiatty diaper during a baby change
Eat a pile of vomit
Sniff the butthole of a visiting member of the same species
etc...


Not mammals, but the last time I threw up on the street, two pigeons walked towards it and I thought "No. Tell me you're not going to...." But they did. Just the solid parts though.
 
2014-04-30 11:54:03 PM  
art.penny-arcade.com
 
2014-04-30 11:54:22 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: Do a google search for lotus birth. You won't be sorry you did. I remember asking my wife's OB about it and watching him twitch at the thought.


I googled it.

31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-30 11:55:28 PM  
Dear Prudence- The wife and I are foodies but unfortunately we're not breeders. Would a craigslist ad for unwanted placentas be out of order? Signed- Waste Not, Want Not.
 
2014-04-30 11:55:55 PM  
After my children were born we used the placenta all bloody and everything like a stamp on really fancy watercolor paper to make a series of 3 prints which we framed and hung in the living room. A lot of the art in our home has been done by local artists or my husband so it's really fun to horrify and appall guests when they inquire "So who created that?"

/I made that!
//or at least my uterus did
///why yes, that is dried blood
 
2014-04-30 11:58:44 PM  
To answer your question Subby.. No.. No I'm not. No.. No no no no no.
 
2014-05-01 12:02:08 AM  

infinitydreamer: After my children were born we used the placenta all bloody and everything like a stamp on really fancy watercolor paper to make a series of 3 prints which we framed and hung in the living room. A lot of the art in our home has been done by local artists or my husband so it's really fun to horrify and appall guests when they inquire "So who created that?"

/I made that!
//or at least my uterus did
///why yes, that is dried blood


You're... you're kidding... right?  Please be kidding.
 
2014-05-01 12:03:05 AM  
 
2014-05-01 12:03:51 AM  

BATMANATEE: How about with some fava beans and a nice Chianti?


img.fark.net
 
2014-05-01 12:04:39 AM  

i.imgur.com

 
2014-05-01 12:09:39 AM  

AntonChigger: infinitydreamer: After my children were born we used the placenta all bloody and everything like a stamp on really fancy watercolor paper to make a series of 3 prints which we framed and hung in the living room. A lot of the art in our home has been done by local artists or my husband so it's really fun to horrify and appall guests when they inquire "So who created that?"

/I made that!
//or at least my uterus did
///why yes, that is dried blood

You're... you're kidding... right?  Please be kidding.


If it was a TF'er, I could easily believe it's true. But since it is a rational and well adjusted person, aka, a Liter, it is an obvious troll.
 
2014-05-01 12:12:08 AM  
This was proposed as a skit for SNL around 1976 or so.  It wasn't developed because someone thought it was in bad taste.
 
2014-05-01 12:15:29 AM  

Kevin72: If you're convinced the surgery of circumcision should be delayed, why not delay the trauma of cutting the cord?


There is no trauma (except maybe mental trauma to mom), as the umbilicus has no nerve endings to feel pain with.
 
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