If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The New Republic)   It's not weird that a dictator would commission a nude portrait of himself. It is weird, though, that he wouldn't encourage the artist to, ah, enhance certain parts of the painting   (newrepublic.com) divider line 57
    More: Fail, Ukrainian President  
•       •       •

13444 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2014 at 7:56 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



57 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-04-30 05:39:19 PM  
Perhaps he did...
 
2014-04-30 06:15:45 PM  
Looks like he dropped a jujubee into his lap.
 
2014-04-30 06:21:50 PM  
This one's a fighter.
 
2014-04-30 07:15:34 PM  
He makes David look big.
 
2014-04-30 07:20:36 PM  
Nipples.
 
2014-04-30 07:20:43 PM  
cdn.static.ovimg.com
 
2014-04-30 07:34:39 PM  
I said,  "Include a small pianist."
 
2014-04-30 07:43:19 PM  
Maybe he's just an honest guy? That said, the "artwork" is god awful. Did he hire a kid in junior high?
 
2014-04-30 07:46:55 PM  
He's also commissioned a biography. The working title is The Little Dicktator.
 
2014-04-30 07:48:40 PM  
Hes a grow-er, not a show-er.
 
2014-04-30 07:54:44 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-30 07:59:59 PM  
I commend him for being comfortable with his body.
 
2014-04-30 08:00:09 PM  

vernonFL: Hes a grow-er, not a show-er.


It pleases the ladies when they realize that their snausage turns into a summer sausage
 
Skr
2014-04-30 08:00:21 PM  

djkutch: [img.fark.net image 240x180]


Difficulty: The pool was heated
 
2014-04-30 08:05:54 PM  

Skr: djkutch: [img.fark.net image 240x180]

Difficulty: The pool was heated


www.jewsnews.co.il

And filled with rocks.
 
2014-04-30 08:08:35 PM  

fusillade762: [cdn.static.ovimg.com image 400x300]


Came for this, thanks!
 
2014-04-30 08:10:18 PM  
I don't see it
 
2014-04-30 08:10:25 PM  

Cake Hunter: Looks like he dropped a jujubee into his lap.


You're looking *way* too closely if you can see the yarmulke on the B there.
 
2014-04-30 08:11:04 PM  
The portraits seems to indicate that the guy seems to have dictator envy but he was not a dictator at the moment of his ousting. He'll probably be one in the future, at least of Crimea after fixed elections, although Poutine might not want someone who already failed once.
 
2014-04-30 08:13:12 PM  
Maybe he's just crazy?

filmfanatic.org
 
2014-04-30 08:13:44 PM  

fusillade762:


Came for this reference.

+10
 
2014-04-30 08:15:59 PM  
Maybe the artist valued his life and said no enhancement necessary. Or maybe they don't value big cocks in Ukraine like we do in the west.

Or maybe he said, "I wanted a bigger cock!" And the artist replied, "I assure you, there is definitely a large cock in this painting."
 
2014-04-30 08:16:00 PM  

CivicMindedFive: Maybe he's just crazy?

[filmfanatic.org image 850x478]


Did he have security men who worked for JC Penney in Detroit?
 
2014-04-30 08:18:55 PM  
Leslie Nielsen was the president of Ukraine?
www.newrepublic.com

As for the nudie, well, maybe he was going for the ancient Greek aesthetic, where large penises were considered comical.
 
2014-04-30 08:20:08 PM  
Did he shave around his nipples?
 
2014-04-30 08:25:56 PM  

Mark Ratner: Maybe he's just an honest guy? That said, the "artwork" is god awful. Did he hire a kid in junior high?


GWB
 
2014-04-30 08:26:34 PM  
Needs some googly eyes on it.
 
2014-04-30 08:36:21 PM  
Being secure in your masculinity is a rare trait in a man.
 
2014-04-30 08:38:05 PM  
www.newrepublic.com

I'd like to imagine there was a conversation about this painting that went something like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mC2ioV7FKc
 
2014-04-30 08:39:17 PM  
Not every man is obsessed or concerned with the size of his penis. Plus, there are extenuating factors. Maybe he DID pay the artist to embellish a bit. Or maybe he used to have a big dick and still has that mentality, but now days most of the shaft has retracted back into the sea of pubic fat. Perhaps it was very, very cold that day. It might even be an optical illusion.

Whatever the reason, rest assured, the man has bigger balls than a lot of us. I don't honestly know that many dudes that would willingly have themselves painted in the nude for all the world to see like that. This is particularly true for guys with penile dysmorphia and insecurity issues, which seem to be fairly common.
 
2014-04-30 08:42:34 PM  

Mark Ratner: Maybe he's just an honest guy? That said, the "artwork" is god awful. Did he hire a kid in junior high?


Soviet realism.
 
2014-04-30 08:50:17 PM  
A Dictator;s Dick-tater?

img.fark.net

(Borrowed shamelessly from three articles up.)
 
2014-04-30 08:54:59 PM  
that's his thumb
 
2014-04-30 08:57:55 PM  

CivicMindedFive: Maybe he's just crazy?

[filmfanatic.org image 850x478]


It's pretty obvious he's crazy.  If anybody poses in a picture like that I can plainly see there nuts.
 
2014-04-30 08:58:23 PM  
A dictator that has more self respect than Kevin Bacon is quite odd.

Hollow Man, the CGI infrared scenes, Kevin Bacon reportedly made demands that they make his delicate parts more noticeable. No word on if this was to be 'more accurate' or 'just cuz'.

/And Kevin Bacon
//Now reading everything in Plinkett's voice
 
2014-04-30 09:03:41 PM  

cretinbob: that's his thumb


That's okay, that's not my belly button.
 
2014-04-30 09:05:22 PM  
He said dictator, he he he he
 
2014-04-30 09:05:26 PM  
Rodin made a number of sculptures of the French novelist Balzac after his death, at least one of which was a nude, which I will not post in case anyone thinks it is NSFW

this one is a little bigger
 
2014-04-30 09:11:30 PM  

BigLuca: CivicMindedFive: Maybe he's just crazy?

[filmfanatic.org image 850x478]

It's pretty obvious he's crazy.  If anybody poses in a picture like that I can plainly see there nuts.


farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2014-04-30 09:16:36 PM  
I checked. I look better naked.
 
2014-04-30 09:18:06 PM  
You've never watched Ukrainian or Russian pron?

The women are gorgeous, and the men are small.
 
2014-04-30 09:22:05 PM  

BigLuca: CivicMindedFive: Maybe he's just crazy?

[filmfanatic.org image 850x478]

It's pretty obvious he's crazy.  If anybody poses in a picture like that I can plainly see there nuts.


Normally I wouldn't comment, but this is the lynchpin of the pun, and you had a 2/3 chance of getting it right.
 
2014-04-30 09:26:38 PM  

GhostfacedFiddlah: BigLuca: CivicMindedFive: Maybe he's just crazy?

[filmfanatic.org image 850x478]

It's pretty obvious he's crazy.  If anybody poses in a picture like that I can plainly see there nuts.

Normally I wouldn't comment, but this is the lynchpin of the pun, and you had a 2/3 chance of getting it right.


Yes, but the pun doesn't work written, only spoken.  The fact that I went with the 3rd just choice wasn't an accident.  It leaves in the ambiguity.
 
2014-04-30 09:27:16 PM  
Maybe people were too scared to ever tell him he had a puny putin.
 
2014-04-30 09:29:10 PM  
farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2014-04-30 09:55:36 PM  
NEWSFLASH

Penises are very small when not erect or semi erect.
 
2014-04-30 10:08:34 PM  

GhostfacedFiddlah: BigLuca: CivicMindedFive: Maybe he's just crazy?

[filmfanatic.org image 850x478]

It's pretty obvious he's crazy.  If anybody poses in a picture like that I can plainly see there nuts.

Normally I wouldn't comment, but this is the lynchpin of the pun, and you had a 2/3 chance of getting it right.



Nah, he was right, the nuts were there, I saw them two.
 
2014-04-30 10:17:50 PM  

rbuzby: NEWSFLASH

Penises are very small when not erect or semi erect.


Many penii do hang down a fair amount, even when not erect, if warm :) :)
 
2014-04-30 10:55:38 PM  
Uzu Sanageyam shares his pain.

fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net
 
2014-04-30 11:45:16 PM  

revrendjim: Mark Ratner: Maybe he's just an honest guy? That said, the "artwork" is god awful. Did he hire a kid in junior high?

GWB


Go home everybody, the internet has been won today
 
Displayed 50 of 57 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report