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(Daily Mail)   Male model doing 80mph in a 30 zone totals house and Audi. Then annoys police by only being concerned about his looks ahead of fashion shoot. Oh yeah, his name is "Storm Burger"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 61
    More: Dumbass, Audi, male model  
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8919 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2014 at 3:59 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-30 02:21:49 PM
There's a whole lot more to life than bring ridiculously good looking
 
2014-04-30 02:26:36 PM
But he only had 26 minutes to get there!
 
2014-04-30 02:28:08 PM
An A3 is a sports car?? Did he get stabbed with $200 million worth of Marijuana or just an AK-47?
 
2014-04-30 02:35:12 PM
Good God! Who in their right mind would ever saddle a poor kid with the name Storm!??!
 
2014-04-30 02:35:13 PM
You'd expect a story on a male model to actually include photos of said model. A google search of "Storm Burger" pulls up a lot of pictures of burgers (and a restaurant named Storm's Burgers) and guys who I seriously doubt are in modeling.
 
2014-04-30 02:53:12 PM

siyuntz: Good God! Who in their right mind would ever saddle a poor kid with the name Storm!??!


Stormageddon takes umbrage with your attitude...
 
2014-04-30 03:09:04 PM

scottydoesntknow: You'd expect a story on a male model to actually include photos of said model. A google search of "Storm Burger" pulls up a lot of pictures of burgers (and a restaurant named Storm's Burgers) and guys who I seriously doubt are in modeling.


Seriously. It's like the daily fail doesn't understand that male models should also be treated the same way as the women models.
 
2014-04-30 03:26:31 PM
He has nothing on Beef Supreme...


img.fark.net
 
2014-04-30 03:26:57 PM
Concerns: The 21-year-old had to be cut out of the car, but on the way to hospital he asked an officer whether there were any serious injuries to his face

"Shh, just keep breathing this carbon monoxide, you'll be fine."
 
2014-04-30 03:29:05 PM
Go home, Storm Burger.  You're drunk fusion cuisine where you replace the hamburger roll with fried Ramen noodle cakes.

img.fark.net
 
2014-04-30 03:53:13 PM

bdub77: Concerns: The 21-year-old had to be cut out of the car, but on the way to hospital he asked an officer whether there were any serious injuries to his face

"Shh, just keep breathing this carbon monoxide, you'll be fine."


His self-esteem level is critical. Quick, someone pay him a condiment!
 
2014-04-30 03:54:25 PM
Where are my Zoolander references?
 
2014-04-30 04:02:23 PM

Peter von Nostrand: There's a whole lot more to life than bring ridiculously good looking


But why male models?
 
2014-04-30 04:02:41 PM
How the fark does someone even survive a crash like that?
 
2014-04-30 04:02:59 PM

Peter von Nostrand: There's a whole lot more to life than bring ridiculously good looking


This is normally true.  But in this case, that's how he makes his living.  And he's gonna need money to pay all those fines.
 
2014-04-30 04:03:36 PM

UberDave: He has nothing on Beef Supreme...


[img.fark.net image 375x203]


We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese.
 
2014-04-30 04:03:37 PM

I_Am_Weasel: Where are my Zoolander references?


The typoed first,but were you expecting more?
 
2014-04-30 04:06:11 PM
Sounds like he should change his name to  ASPERGER.
 
2014-04-30 04:07:14 PM

Bith Set Me Up: UberDave: He has nothing on Beef Supreme...


[img.fark.net image 375x203]

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese.


Brock Pecthrust.
 
2014-04-30 04:08:45 PM

siyuntz: Good God! Who in their right mind would ever saddle a poor kid with the name Storm!??!


static.guim.co.uk

"Ehh.  It worked for me."
 
2014-04-30 04:09:12 PM
Hey Storm Burger! Show us Blue Steel!
 
2014-04-30 04:09:33 PM
www.tshirtbully.com
 
2014-04-30 04:09:44 PM
Of the Flint Ironstag Modeling Agency, no doubt.

"Rip Slabcheek!
Smoke Man Muscle!
Bob Johnson! (No, wait...)"
 
2014-04-30 04:11:00 PM
Sounds like an ahole, hope he got a nose bleed and 2 black eyes. Looking at teh pictures it's a miracle he lived.
 
2014-04-30 04:11:30 PM
Why are there no pics of Storm Burger?  I can't determine the appropriate level of outrage until I see his pic.  TFA just has stupid pics of the damage, Durrr.
 
2014-04-30 04:14:08 PM
i.imgur.com
Male model, escort, Burger addict.
 
2014-04-30 04:15:02 PM

Tr0mBoNe: An A3 is a sports car?? Did he get stabbed with $200 million worth of Marijuana or just an AK-47?


Came to say this.

FTA: Male model, 21, smashed high-powered Audi into side of house...
...The Audi A3 Quattro


The A3 might be considered a high-powered compact sedan/wagon (nothing left in the pictures).  But how on God's green earth could the smallest, cheapest model be considered a high-powered Audi?
 
2014-04-30 04:16:39 PM
There's no image for Storm Burger, but here's Gabriel Burger, a 24 yo male model from Brazil!  They probably look similar.

www.maleandwomentopmodelimages.com
 
2014-04-30 04:20:07 PM
Storm Burger is the vegetarian delight that,  with a carefully blended recipe of proteins and complex carbs, causes explosive diarrhea and actually causes the diner to lose weight.
 
2014-04-30 04:23:51 PM
m1.behance.net

What Storm might look like
 
2014-04-30 04:29:26 PM

MooseBayou: Bith Set Me Up: UberDave: He has nothing on Beef Supreme...


[img.fark.net image 375x203]

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese.

Brock Pecthrust.



HA!  I don't even have to look these up.  My wife and I literally watched this full episode the weekend before last (last weekend was Overdrawn at the Memory Bank).

/Fridge Largemeat
 
2014-04-30 04:30:15 PM
To be fair to this guy, driving at speeds that high can be difficult when you can't turn left.
 
2014-04-30 04:36:33 PM

scottydoesntknow: You'd expect a story on a male model to actually include photos of said model. A google search of "Storm Burger" pulls up a lot of pictures of burgers (and a restaurant named Storm's Burgers) and guys who I seriously doubt are in modeling.


Maybe he's a scrotum model.
 
2014-04-30 04:38:17 PM

UberDave: MooseBayou: Bith Set Me Up: UberDave: He has nothing on Beef Supreme...


[img.fark.net image 375x203]

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese.

Brock Pecthrust.


HA!  I don't even have to look these up.  My wife and I literally watched this full episode the weekend before last (last weekend was Overdrawn at the Memory Bank).

/Fridge Largemeat


Gristle McThornbody
 
2014-04-30 04:43:34 PM

Witness99: There's no image for Storm Burger, but here's Gabriel Burger, a 24 yo male model from Brazil!  They probably look similar.


Why do all msle models have only two expressions:

1. Sad eyes (as in this pic)
2. Constipated stare
 
2014-04-30 04:44:38 PM
"Storm Burger was doing 80mph in a 30pm zone"

Given that the local speed limit was 30 Petameters, he didn't do anyhting wrong, but was actually moving very slowly.

/still a stupid name.
 
2014-04-30 04:46:00 PM
Why wouldn't he be concerned about his looks?  That's how he makes a living. Would we fault a pitcher for being concerned about his shoulder?
 
2014-04-30 04:59:24 PM
His name is now Douche Bagger.  Too bad the Audi sacrificed itself to keep him alive.
 
2014-04-30 04:59:39 PM
Storm Buggar?
 
2014-04-30 05:10:23 PM

ToastmasterGeneral: Peter von Nostrand: There's a whole lot more to life than bring ridiculously good looking

But why male models?


Fun fact* - Ben Stiller apparently forgot his line, so he repeated that line in response to David Duchovney's explanation of why male models were used.  Duchovney's subsequent confusion was genuine and he ad-libbed the response.

What an awesome movie.


* -Fun fact may possibly be not fun and possibly not a fact
 
2014-04-30 05:22:34 PM

DrBenway: bdub77: Concerns: The 21-year-old had to be cut out of the car, but on the way to hospital he asked an officer whether there were any serious injuries to his face

"Shh, just keep breathing this carbon monoxide, you'll be fine."

His self-esteem level is critical. Quick, someone pay him a condiment!


He was only speeding because he was running late and had to Catsup.
 
2014-04-30 05:25:39 PM

suburbanguy: Tr0mBoNe: An A3 is a sports car?? Did he get stabbed with $200 million worth of Marijuana or just an AK-47?

Came to say this.

FTA: Male model, 21, smashed high-powered Audi into side of house...
...The Audi A3 Quattro

The A3 might be considered a high-powered compact sedan/wagon (nothing left in the pictures).  But how on God's green earth could the smallest, cheapest model be considered a high-powered Audi?


Well, it's the smallest, which means it's also the lightest. According to TFA, it had the 3.2l V6, which cranks out around 250HP. Not too shabby in what's basically a leather-lined VW Golf. It's a slug compared to, say, an RS4. However, given its relative lack of mass, it's quick compared to an A6 or Q model with the same engine.

Also, this is the Daily Fail, so they gotta pump up everything.
 
2014-04-30 05:29:19 PM

Priapetic: ToastmasterGeneral: Peter von Nostrand: There's a whole lot more to life than bring ridiculously good looking

But why male models?

Fun fact* - Ben Stiller apparently forgot his line, so he repeated that line in response to David Duchovney's explanation of why male models were used.  Duchovney's subsequent confusion was genuine and he ad-libbed the response.

What an awesome movie.


* -Fun fact may possibly be not fun and possibly not a fact


But it IS a fact that I had heard the same thing.  However, it's a good enough story that if I were either Duchovney or Stiller I'd pass it off as true, regardless of whether it was.
 
2014-04-30 05:44:08 PM
So, was he really, really good-looking?
myinnermostthinking.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-30 06:03:57 PM

gunther_bumpass: scottydoesntknow: You'd expect a story on a male model to actually include photos of said model. A google search of "Storm Burger" pulls up a lot of pictures of burgers (and a restaurant named Storm's Burgers) and guys who I seriously doubt are in modeling.

Maybe he's a scrotum model.


I was drinking HOT COFFEE, dammit!
 
2014-04-30 06:20:42 PM

siyuntz: Good God! Who in their right mind would ever saddle a poor kid with the name Storm!??!


There was a weatherman in NYC who named his son storm. Storm grew up to be a weatherman.
 
2014-04-30 06:26:42 PM
If it doesn't start with RS(Or at least S), it is hot a high powered Audi.
 
2014-04-30 06:28:32 PM

Witness99: There's no image for Storm Burger,


Confirmed.  However, after a GIS for "Storm Burger" I am very hungry.
 
2014-04-30 06:45:30 PM
Storm Burger? Sounds like a name made up by the bots on MST3K
 
2014-04-30 06:50:10 PM
"Storm Burger? Who calls him that?"

"Himself, mostly. Wanted mostly on charges of minor assault, public intoxication and fraud... "

"What an a-hole"
 
2014-04-30 07:17:00 PM
It was a dark and windy night, the rain was coming down like cats and dogs, then it turned to hail
Storm Buuuurrggger
Arby's has this new smokehouse thing, with fried onions
That's always the choice - do you buy premium, or go off the value menu
Stoooorrrmm Burger
I have coupons for BK. BK has a real nice char-grilled taste
Storm Burgerrrrrrr
If I go buy a burger during a tornado, am I endangering the staff?
If I light up my little smoky and make my own burger during a storm, do I have to be 20 feet away from the building?
Nothing's gonna catch fire in a storm
Storrrrrrrrrrm Burger
 
2014-04-30 07:24:15 PM

Peter von Nostrand: There's a whole lot more to life than bring ridiculously good looking


Done in one
 
2014-04-30 08:03:13 PM

ToastmasterGeneral: Peter von Nostrand: There's a whole lot more to life than bring ridiculously good looking

But why male models?


Shut up Derek.
 
2014-04-30 08:15:01 PM

Dadburns: So, was he really, really good-looking?
[myinnermostthinking.files.wordpress.com image 300x170]


MAGNUM!
 
2014-04-30 09:11:45 PM
The car is in pieces, all over the place, so how did the cops determine there had been no mechanical failures?
 
2014-04-30 09:17:11 PM

DaAlien: suburbanguy: Tr0mBoNe: An A3 is a sports car?? Did he get stabbed with $200 million worth of Marijuana or just an AK-47?

Came to say this.

FTA: Male model, 21, smashed high-powered Audi into side of house...
...The Audi A3 Quattro

The A3 might be considered a high-powered compact sedan/wagon (nothing left in the pictures).  But how on God's green earth could the smallest, cheapest model be considered a high-powered Audi?

Well, it's the smallest, which means it's also the lightest.


Other than the A1, surely?

According to TFA, it had the 3.2l V6, which cranks out around 250HP. Not too shabby in what's basically a leather-lined VW Golf. It's a slug compared to, say, an RS4. However, given its relative lack of mass, it's quick compared to an A6 or Q model with the same engine.

Yeah, it's a hot hatch. Small car with a relatively large engine.

Also, this is the Daily Fail, so they gotta pump up everything.

That too.
 
2014-04-30 09:23:35 PM

BadReligion: If it doesn't start with RS(Or at least S), it is hot a high powered Audi.


R8.  Best kind of correct.
 
2014-04-30 09:46:17 PM
He would have if someone used the Ambulance fire extinguisher on his face.
 
2014-04-30 11:52:20 PM

Witness99: There's no image for Storm Burger, but here's Gabriel Burger, a 24 yo male model from Brazil!  They probably look similar.

[www.maleandwomentopmodelimages.com image 251x300]


I'd eat a Gabriel Burger, if you know what I mean.

/someone had to say it.
//I'm a chick, btw.
///slashies come in threes
 
2014-05-01 12:24:46 AM
No picture? Fail. Do not greenlight shiat like this without a picture, dammit.
 
2014-05-01 01:06:03 PM

Cold_Sassy: Sounds like he should change his name to  ASPERGER.


Came here to suggest "Smash Burger."

/warm up the lawyers
//Might get a free burger on May 28.
 
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