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(Talking Points Memo)   Rick Santorum (R-eality challenged):"Obama's minions told me they thought I could beat the President in the 2012 election"   (talkingpointsmemo.com) divider line 124
    More: Unlikely, Barack Obama's, Rick Santorum, presidents, elections in 2012  
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1433 clicks; posted to Politics » on 29 Apr 2014 at 7:21 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



124 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-29 05:37:26 PM
I'm sure the word "off" was also part of the conversation/
 
2014-04-29 05:43:43 PM
Are you sure you weren't just watching Despicable Me, Rick?
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2014-04-29 05:45:13 PM
Yes, Ricky. Sane people were so scared of the possibility of you winning, that some actually crossed over and voted for a dumbfark like you in the Republican primaries in some states just to make Mittens waste more money.
 
2014-04-29 05:48:44 PM
What's the name of that Egyptian river again?
 
2014-04-29 05:49:03 PM
Why didn't you go out and bang me a little a bit

Bang me til I'm good and frothy.
 
2014-04-29 05:59:37 PM
Oh, he really used the word minions. That's nice.

"When working people go to the polls," host Joe Scarborough pointed out.
"This is it. And that's what the other side is scared to death of," Santorum said.


That's why Republicans are such big fans of making it easier for people with jobs to vote by expanding voting hours and extending times for absentee voting. Not to mention, making sure legislation designed to make sure employees are given time off to go vote gets to see the light of day.
 
2014-04-29 06:00:25 PM
FTA You know I asked one of the Obama minions who were running the campaign 'Hey, why didn't you guys help me? I was up there battling Romney and all these folks at MSNBC were saying wouldn't this be great if Santorum were the nominee, why didn't you help me? Why didn't you go out and bang me a little a bit, hit me you know, as being too conservative?'"
"And the consensus was, 'We didn't want you, because of this,'" Santorum added, holding up his book.

It makes it pretty clear when you're making shiat up when you accidentally drift from the specific to the general.
 
2014-04-29 06:01:11 PM
Wait... so his story is that he, a contender for the Republican nomination, went to the Democratic incumbent's staff and asked why they didn't help him get the nomination?  In what universe is that something they would do?
 
2014-04-29 06:11:48 PM

timujin: Wait... so his story is that he, a contender for the Republican nomination, went to the Democratic incumbent's staff and asked why they didn't help him get the nomination?  In what universe is that something they would do?


As I understand it his thesis is this:

He is a super conservative and mittens is a fake conservative. The Dems would obviously rather have poopandlube stain run because, as a super conservative, they would tend to assume he would be easier to beat than Human Emotions 3000, and it would therefore behoove them to try and get behind leadingsemenandfecalmatter to help him win.

BUT WAIT THERE IS A TWIST.

The Dems secretly know how super conservative america secretly is so they didn't follow through on such a plan because in their heart of hearts they are worried that mannamedafteranalsexleftovers would in fact be much more palatable to america than the flip-flopinator and that would have led to Obama's defeat and/or a decade long outbreak of prosperity.

So obviously the Dems told him all this because why isn't that ridiculous?

In short he would actually be less full of shiat if he were full of Santorum since the lube and semen would necessarily displace some of the shiat in that scenario.
 
2014-04-29 06:12:36 PM
*ohwaityoureseriousletmelaughharder.jpg*
 
2014-04-29 06:13:15 PM
Utterly terrified. I certainly hope you never run, Rick. Oh, please. Don't run.
 
2014-04-29 06:18:58 PM
Santorum is a stain on politics.
 
2014-04-29 06:25:18 PM

timujin: Wait... so his story is that he, a contender for the Republican nomination, went to the Democratic incumbent's staff and asked why they didn't help him get the nomination?  In what universe is that something they would do?


PARTY OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY!
 
2014-04-29 06:25:40 PM
I believe it

Obama's minions are smart enough to realize that your dumbass would have fallen for something as ludicrous
 
2014-04-29 06:37:16 PM
Minions. Hmm......

Just like regime, cartel, thugs, angry, socialist, anti-American.

These are just words and are in no way steeped with symbolism, right?
 
2014-04-29 06:40:36 PM

imapirate: Minions. Hmm......

Just like regime, cartel, thugs, angry, socialist, anti-American.

These are just words and are in no way steeped with symbolism, right?


Heh... Santorum is a word steeped with symbolism, too
 
2014-04-29 06:42:39 PM

cman: I believe it

Obama's minions are smart enough to realize that your dumbass would have fallen for something as ludicrous


I wonder if it's just the Santorum doesn't understand sarcasm.  I mean, maybe the response to, "Why didn't you guys help me out?" was something like, "Well, you know, we were soooo scared of you and your serious conservative bonafides!"
 
2014-04-29 06:44:48 PM

JerseyTim: Are you sure you weren't just watching Despicable Me, Rick?


I see I'm not the only person to make that connection.
 
2014-04-29 06:46:30 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: imapirate: Minions. Hmm......

Just like regime, cartel, thugs, angry, socialist, anti-American.

These are just words and are in no way steeped with symbolism, right?

Heh... Santorum is a word steeped with symbolism, too


As much as I despise Santorum, making fun of people's names as derogatory terms is pretty damn childish.
 
2014-04-29 06:48:18 PM

cman: MaudlinMutantMollusk: imapirate: Minions. Hmm......

Just like regime, cartel, thugs, angry, socialist, anti-American.

These are just words and are in no way steeped with symbolism, right?

Heh... Santorum is a word steeped with symbolism, too

As much as I despise Santorum, making fun of people's names as derogatory terms is pretty damn childish.


Yeah... and I'm the first

/thanks, big guy... I like you, too
 
2014-04-29 06:48:19 PM

cman: MaudlinMutantMollusk: imapirate: Minions. Hmm......

Just like regime, cartel, thugs, angry, socialist, anti-American.

These are just words and are in no way steeped with symbolism, right?

Heh... Santorum is a word steeped with symbolism, too

As much as I despise Santorum, making fun of people's names as derogatory terms is pretty damn childish.


In his case there was a good reason: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Campaign_for_%22santorum%22_neologism
 
2014-04-29 06:51:16 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: cman: MaudlinMutantMollusk: imapirate: Minions. Hmm......

Just like regime, cartel, thugs, angry, socialist, anti-American.

These are just words and are in no way steeped with symbolism, right?

Heh... Santorum is a word steeped with symbolism, too

As much as I despise Santorum, making fun of people's names as derogatory terms is pretty damn childish.

Yeah... and I'm the first

/thanks, big guy... I like you, too


Just sayin'....

/Dont you see me get up in everyones ass for using terms like Fark Independent or Democrat Party?
 
2014-04-29 06:55:23 PM
Absolutely, Rick. PLEASE don't get the nomination in 2 years. Oh, what an unstoppable force you'd be!
 
2014-04-29 07:02:08 PM

exick: Oh, he really used the word minions. That's nice.

"When working people go to the polls," host Joe Scarborough pointed out.
"This is it. And that's what the other side is scared to death of," Santorum said.

That's why Republicans are such big fans of making it easier for people with jobs to vote by expanding voting hours and extending times for absentee voting. Not to mention, making sure legislation designed to make sure employees are given time off to go vote gets to see the light of day.


Working people means white males making $100,000 per year or more who work flex time or retirees. Anyone who makes less than that are either union rich like teachers, or moochers.
 
2014-04-29 07:03:04 PM
img838.imageshack.us
 
2014-04-29 07:05:47 PM
The way we laughed at him wasn't enough? He wanted us to list the reasons we were laughing? If you have to explain a joke, it's not funny anymore.
 
2014-04-29 07:07:24 PM
What is really fascinating- He actually believes it. He actually thinks that if he was nominated he would have won. They live in such an airtight echo chamber not one peep of reality ever makes it in. Thanks Fox, you have succeeded beyond your wildest dreams.
 
2014-04-29 07:10:15 PM
I'm just picturing the Democratic staffer being like Kevin McDonald in this sketch. "You can totally take him!"

Stay Down.
 
2014-04-29 07:17:42 PM
Why the Fark does the supposedly so liberal MSNBC keep this Right Wing Douchebag on
When working people go to the polls," host Joe Scarborough pointed out.

And isn't the only way to be banned from MSNBC to mention the dead chick who was found in his office?
 
2014-04-29 07:26:26 PM
Republicans are really going to throw the next election by running the same group of assholes we didn't have any interest in voting for the last time, aren't they?

Good.
 
2014-04-29 07:30:09 PM

Quasar: Utterly terrified. I certainly hope you never run, Rick. Oh, please. Don't run.


You never want Santorum to run.  That's when things get messy.
 
2014-04-29 07:32:52 PM
That's a pretty deep fantasyland you've got going there, Mr. Santorum.
 
2014-04-29 07:35:42 PM

Tigger: It makes it pretty clear when you're making shiat up when you accidentally drift from the specific to the general.


Heh, nice catch.
 
2014-04-29 07:35:42 PM

Tigger: FTA You know I asked one of the Obama minions who were running the campaign 'Hey, why didn't you guys help me? I was up there battling Romney and all these folks at MSNBC were saying wouldn't this be great if Santorum were the nominee, why didn't you help me? Why didn't you go out and bang me a little a bit, hit me you know, as being too conservative?'"
"And the consensus was, 'We didn't want you, because of this,'" Santorum added, holding up his book.

It makes it pretty clear when you're making shiat up when you accidentally drift from the specific to the general.


Nah, he just asked Mrs. Slocombe, who was unanimous in her decision.
 
2014-04-29 07:37:17 PM
img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-04-29 07:37:17 PM
"It was a Canadian Obama minion. You wouldn't know him."
 
2014-04-29 07:38:19 PM
Brad Pitt's goons told me that they Angelina Jolie put a restraining order on me because I'm the one she really wants to be with.
 
2014-04-29 07:41:58 PM
Santorum is about as clueless as Barack.
 
2014-04-29 07:43:28 PM

Rapmaster2000: Brad Pitt's goons told me that they Angelina Jolie put a restraining order on me because I'm the one she really wants to be with.


Bill Gates' henchmen told me that I wasn't chosen as his successor because he thought I was overqualified for the job.
 
2014-04-29 07:46:57 PM
"Why didn't you help me win the nomination?"
"Because we really didn't want to be thrown into that briar patch over there."
 
2014-04-29 07:47:37 PM
So, Mr. Santorum, were those "minions" perchance making snorting or chortling noises as they were telling you this?  Like they were trying not to just fall down in paroxysms of laughter, tears streaming down their faces?  Or maybe they were just looking really hopeful, like they expected a really entertaining show sometime in the near future?

Because if so, yeah, I can totally see them telling you that.
 
2014-04-29 07:50:15 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: What's the name of that Egyptian river again?


Crimea?
 
2014-04-29 07:53:50 PM
I always wanted to be a minion. What's the training like? Do you need a union card first?? Nights and weekends off??? Uniforms provided or minion-as-you-are???? Retirement bennies?????

"As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a minion"
 
2014-04-29 07:54:10 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: What's the name of that Egyptian river again?


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-29 07:54:20 PM
All Santorum threads should go directly to the Entertainment tab, it's simply too easy.

Santorum/no1curr dog 2016

/love that dog.
 
2014-04-29 07:57:09 PM
No, guys, I think he's serious. Santorum TOTALLY has a shot! Republicans should totally run him against whoever the Dems put up, it won't backfire at all.

/I did not want to think of Santorum and backfiring in the same post. Yuck.
 
2014-04-29 08:03:04 PM

Tigger: In short he would actually be less full of shiat if he were full of Santorum since the lube and semen would necessarily displace some of the shiat in that scenario.


Do you have a visual of that?
 
2014-04-29 08:09:10 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-29 08:14:57 PM

fusillade762: I'm just picturing the Democratic staffer being like Kevin McDonald in this sketch. "You can totally take him!"

Stay Down.


Always good to come home to some KITH. Thank you for your contribution.
 
2014-04-29 08:23:38 PM
There's no self-delusion like conservative self-delusion.
 
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