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(NPR)   Q: Why is ketchup so hard to pour? A: Because you're stupid and you don't understand physics   (npr.org) divider line 178
    More: Obvious, corn syrup, physics, non-Newtonian fluid  
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9885 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2014 at 3:28 PM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



178 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-29 02:02:34 PM
We need to watch a four and half minute long video when a single photo will suffice:

cdn.c.photoshelter.com
 
2014-04-29 02:29:30 PM
gifrific.com
 
2014-04-29 02:29:51 PM
Or, you can just use a damn squeeze bottle.
 
2014-04-29 02:31:40 PM
Damn you physics!!!
 
2014-04-29 02:55:40 PM
Each American, on average, consumes a whopping 71 pounds annually.

That's insane.  I bet I don't consume 3 pounds, which means somewhere, there is someone eating 139 pounds of ketchup a year to balance me out.
 
2014-04-29 02:57:54 PM
 
2014-04-29 03:30:10 PM
Anticipation.
 
2014-04-29 03:32:20 PM
Unavailable for comment:

www.sparrowhall.com
 
2014-04-29 03:33:33 PM

Three Crooked Squirrels: Each American, on average, consumes a whopping 71 pounds annually.

That's insane.  I bet I don't consume 3 pounds, which means somewhere, there is someone eating 139 pounds of ketchup a year to balance me out.


shiat someone's drinking it. My whole family goes through maybe two bottles a year.
 
2014-04-29 03:33:37 PM
Can we get a freaking TED tag, so I can skip the pretentious videos of entitled people being amazed that the world exists.
 
2014-04-29 03:33:44 PM
That's because they aren't using the right tools.
img.ehowcdn.com
 
2014-04-29 03:33:53 PM

Three Crooked Squirrels: there is someone eating 139 pounds of ketchup a year to balance me out.


*smiles*
 
2014-04-29 03:33:57 PM

Three Crooked Squirrels: Each American, on average, consumes a whopping 71 pounds annually.

That's insane.  I bet I don't consume 3 pounds, which means somewhere, there is someone eating 139 pounds of ketchup a year to balance me out.


Me either.  I haven't had ketchup in the fridge for months and I doubt I consume even a pound so make that two ketchup monsters balancing us out.  I eat more than my share of spicy mustard I bet though.
 
2014-04-29 03:34:03 PM

Three Crooked Squirrels: Each American, on average, consumes a whopping 71 pounds annually.

That's insane.  I bet I don't consume 3 pounds, which means somewhere, there is someone eating 139 pounds of ketchup a year to balance me out.


Pretty sure that's my 2 year old.
 
2014-04-29 03:34:27 PM
Are there even companies that sell glass bottles of ketchup any more? Every time I've gone shopping, the entire aisle is nothing but squeeze bottles.
 
2014-04-29 03:34:28 PM

Pokey.Clyde: Or, you can just use a damn squeeze bottle.


Whoever invented those upside-down, cap-on-the-bottom squeeze bottles deserves canonization.
 
2014-04-29 03:34:38 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-29 03:36:08 PM
It's God's way of telling you that if you need that classless white trash condiment to mask the taste of the dog shiat you are eating, you probably should just refrain from eating dog shiat.
 
2014-04-29 03:37:39 PM
Eating with my 3 year old while at the hotel just outside of West Point (my father was lecturing there) the kid was of the age where ketchup went on everything. They served ketchup in very small jars. Very small. The kid had me open the jar and used a knife to spread it over his eggs. The waiter called over a few more waiters and the floor manager to watch as he did it again. One commented that "adults haven't figured that out yet and shake the jars over their plates". Sad, just sad.

Anyway, an inventor was once in the newspaper for a quick dispensing gadget for ketchup. He didn't quite get the fact that Heinz is selling the "slow" factor.
 
2014-04-29 03:37:51 PM
fc02.deviantart.net
The ketchup must flow.
 
Bf+
2014-04-29 03:38:00 PM
Has noone heard of the 57 chop?
 
2014-04-29 03:38:43 PM

lilplatinum: It's God's way of telling you that if you need that classless white trash condiment to mask the taste of the dog shiat you are eating, you probably should just refrain from eating dog shiat.


Be a class act, and drown that shiat in mayonnaise
 
2014-04-29 03:38:49 PM

farkingismybusiness: [gifrific.com image 500x375]


Whatever that ketchup did, i bet it's very sorry.
 
2014-04-29 03:39:23 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

Mia: Vincent, do you still want to hear my Fox Force Five joke?

Vincent: Sure, but I think I'm still a little too petrified to laugh.

Mia: No, you wont laugh, 'cus it's not funny. But if you still wanna hear it, I'll tell it.

Vincent: I can't wait.

Mia: Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Papa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, Catch up.
 
2014-04-29 03:39:49 PM
I always new it as  Thixotropy .
 
2014-04-29 03:39:52 PM

lilplatinum: It's God's way of telling you that if you need that classless white trash condiment to mask the taste of the dog shiat you are eating, you probably should just refrain from eating dog shiat.


Yeah! Everyone should be using high class luxury condiments!

How on earth does a human being ever come to the conclusion that a table condiment says something meaningful about the person using it?
 
2014-04-29 03:40:25 PM

stoli n coke: Are there even companies that sell glass bottles of ketchup any more? Every time I've gone shopping, the entire aisle is nothing but squeeze bottles.


Go to the jianiggle.
 
2014-04-29 03:40:50 PM

Egoy3k: lilplatinum: It's God's way of telling you that if you need that classless white trash condiment to mask the taste of the dog shiat you are eating, you probably should just refrain from eating dog shiat.

Yeah! Everyone should be using high class luxury condiments!

How on earth does a human being ever come to the conclusion that a table condiment says something meaningful about the person using it?


Only the fanciest Dijon ketchup
 
2014-04-29 03:40:50 PM

ChipNASA: Anticipation.


OtherLittleGuy: Unavailable for comment:

[www.sparrowhall.com image 432x432]


Boy, are you guys old.

yeah me too
 
2014-04-29 03:42:47 PM
71 Pounds of Ketchup on my Hot Dog is the name of my foodie blog.
 
2014-04-29 03:42:52 PM

Egoy3k: How on earth does a human being ever come to the conclusion that a table condiment says something meaningful about the person using it?


Pardon me, but do you have any grey poupon?
 
2014-04-29 03:44:16 PM
www.theshelbyreport.com
Problem solved
 
2014-04-29 03:45:30 PM

EdNortonsTwin: lilplatinum: It's God's way of telling you that if you need that classless white trash condiment to mask the taste of the dog shiat you are eating, you probably should just refrain from eating dog shiat.

Be a class act, and drown that shiat in mayonnaise



Sure, it doesn't improve the flavor of food, but at least it is filled with calories.
 
2014-04-29 03:46:07 PM
Glass bottle. Tip at angle, Use butter knife to get the air pocket behind the mass. Or wiggle back and forth at an angle
/Raised in 412 land.
 
2014-04-29 03:46:16 PM

markfara: Pokey.Clyde: Or, you can just use a damn squeeze bottle.

Whoever invented those upside-down, cap-on-the-bottom squeeze bottles deserves canonization. decapitation.


FTFY

My experience with those bottles is: no ketchup, no ketchup, no ketchup.....6 ounces of ketchup.
 
2014-04-29 03:46:20 PM
I highly suggest diving into higher quality ketchups. We have a couple of local brands here. More expensive, but they lack the high fructose corn syrup and they taste like actual tomatoes.

Why spend all that time grilling a burger from quality meat and then you dump on a substandard ketchup.

Boys Grow Agave Ketchup
Blanc Ketchup
 
2014-04-29 03:47:07 PM

Three Crooked Squirrels: Each American, on average, consumes a whopping 71 pounds annually.

That's insane.  I bet I don't consume 3 pounds, which means somewhere, there is someone eating 139 pounds of ketchup a year to balance me out.


STATISTICS DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!
 
Jha
2014-04-29 03:49:40 PM
Many years ago, there was a time when Fark headlines were funny.
 
2014-04-29 03:49:48 PM

lilplatinum: It's God's way of telling you that if you need that classless white trash condiment to mask the taste of the dog shiat you are eating, you probably should just refrain from eating dog shiat.


cdn.trendhunterstatic.com
 
2014-04-29 03:50:21 PM

Egoy3k: How on earth does a human being ever come to the conclusion that a table condiment says something meaningful about the person using it?


ecx.images-amazon.com
Careful study, that's how.
 
2014-04-29 03:51:51 PM
CSB

I briefly worked at HJ Heinz as a contractor and would go to lunch with many of the full-time employees in my department.

Many of them would dump enormous amounts of ketchup on their plates once lunch was over.

Embarrassingly large quantities, perhaps 1/4 to 1/3 of a bottle. A decent sized group would completely empty a couple bottles at lunch.

Whatever I guess. Always hated it though.

/CSB
 
2014-04-29 03:52:47 PM
The roomate dated a guy that would use a half a bottle of ketchup on a large fry from any fast food place. It would piss me off coming home to a brand new bottle almost empty after he was there. Started making her buy me a new bottle after he would visit.
 
2014-04-29 03:53:35 PM

Egoy3k: How on earth does a human being ever come to the conclusion that a table condiment says something meaningful about the person using it?


Because ketchup masks the flavor of everything and makes it taste like disgusting sugary tomato shiat, which means the person using it either doesn't know what kind of food is fit for human consumption, or they are some farkwit who puts ketchup on a steak (probably the same asshats who ask for it well done).

Ketchup=white trash, enjoy your double wide.
 
2014-04-29 03:54:33 PM

Three Crooked Squirrels: Each American, on average, consumes a whopping 71 pounds annually.

That's insane.  I bet I don't consume 3 pounds, which means somewhere, there is someone eating 139 pounds of ketchup a year to balance me out.


between me and my 4 year old son i'm sure we're taking up your slack

Pokey.Clyde: Or, you can just use a damn squeeze bottle.


this

Egoy3k: lilplatinum: It's God's way of telling you that if you need that classless white trash condiment to mask the taste of the dog shiat you are eating, you probably should just refrain from eating dog shiat.

Yeah! Everyone should be using high class luxury condiments!

How on earth does a human being ever come to the conclusion that a table condiment says something meaningful about the person using it?


and this, as well

seriously, who the hell cares?

if you don't like ketchup, don't use it! i like ketchup, mustard, mayo (ONLY on fries...miracle whip for sandwiches if i'm making them...mayo is fine if that's what the person assembling my sandwich/burger has on hand), and certain other condiments. my daughter and my cousin like absolutely NO condiments ever. to each their own.

also, ketchup isn't some white-trash low-class american thing. ever been to germany? i always love the looks on people's faces when i tell them about german grocery stores

an entire AISLE of nothing but ketchups, mustards, and mayos! sometimes it spills over into a 2nd aisle! they have like 50 different kinds of ketchup, and about 100 different kinds of mustard! and you can even get them in tubes that look like oil paint tubes or toothpaste tubes! they even have POMMES FRITTES (fries) SAUCE, and a red & white stripe mix in a tube (think aquafresh, but red & white) that is ketchup and mayo together!
 
2014-04-29 03:56:35 PM

lilplatinum: It's God's way of telling you that if you need that classless white trash condiment to mask the taste of the dog shiat you are eating, you probably should just refrain from eating dog shiat.


You have a very strange god.
 
2014-04-29 03:57:23 PM
Ketchup is pretty easy to throw away.
 
2014-04-29 03:57:24 PM

bungle_jr: also, ketchup isn't some white-trash low-class american thing. ever been to germany? i always love the looks on people's faces when i tell them about german grocery stores


You are right, ketchup is international classlessness.

/german grocery stores are the most depressing thing in the world (if they ever happen to be open when you need to visit them)
//except for german cuisine
///seriously, farking currywurst is your big national dish now?  Ketchup and goddamn cut up hot dogs?
 
2014-04-29 03:57:59 PM

Egoy3k: lilplatinum: It's God's way of telling you that if you need that classless white trash condiment to mask the taste of the dog shiat you are eating, you probably should just refrain from eating dog shiat.

Yeah! Everyone should be using high class luxury condiments!

How on earth does a human being ever come to the conclusion that a table condiment says something meaningful about the person using it?


Where do you think you are?
 
2014-04-29 03:58:09 PM
img4-1.realsimple.timeinc.net

Hold straw and tip bottle.  If it still doesn't come out, blow gently into the straw.

Of course, I'd be totally grossed out if I saw someone do this at a restaurant.  Nobody wants you breathing into the condiments or sticking a straw in the bottle.
 
2014-04-29 03:58:12 PM

Pangea: CSB

I briefly worked at HJ Heinz as a contractor and would go to lunch with many of the full-time employees in my department.

Many of them would dump enormous amounts of ketchup on their plates once lunch was over.

Embarrassingly large quantities, perhaps 1/4 to 1/3 of a bottle. A decent sized group would completely empty a couple bottles at lunch.

Whatever I guess. Always hated it though.

/CSB


After lunch was over?  Its probably an employee joke where they are trying to speed up the process at which the restaurant in question purchases more of their product.
 
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