If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fox News)   Dark matter is using a slingshot to shoot asteroids at the Earth. Fark you, dark matter, you bastard   (foxnews.com) divider line 83
    More: Scary, Earth, dark matter  
•       •       •

6173 clicks; posted to Geek » on 29 Apr 2014 at 3:38 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-29 01:58:47 PM  
The researchers analyzed craters more than 12 miles wide created in the past 250 million years, and compared their pattern against the 35-million-year cycle. They found that it was three times more likely that the craters matched the dark matter cycle than that they occurred randomly

But the alternative hypothesis was that the impact cycles were caused by a companion star (or something). Regardless, when you're analyzing something that is already recognized to have a pattern, the chance that it happened randomly isn't particularly big.

So if there's a 1 percent chance it happened randomly, there's a 3 percent chance this caused it. If there's a 25 percent chance it was random, there's a 75% chance it was caused by the disc. Which is it? We don't know because science reports are shiat at their jobs.
 
2014-04-29 02:26:54 PM  
Damn birds!
 
2014-04-29 03:11:30 PM  
We don't even really know if you exist, but damn you anyway.
 
2014-04-29 03:40:22 PM  
Darkies always be throwing stuff.
 
2014-04-29 03:41:02 PM  
Is  Could be
 
2014-04-29 03:41:49 PM  
Why is Fox News even discussing science - other than the obligatory 'evolution isn't real -- WERE YOU THERE?' derp they're usually known for?
 
2014-04-29 03:41:58 PM  
I don't get the Shamrock, but the weapon and attitude are evident.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-29 03:42:01 PM  
Perhaps that's why Bieber walks the way he does.
 
2014-04-29 03:43:13 PM  
Can't we just spread some Preparation A on the affected area?
 
2014-04-29 03:43:44 PM  
It's either dark matter of the Centauri mass drivers. Take your pick.
 
2014-04-29 03:44:05 PM  
Or, as we like to call it, the Arachnid Quarantine Zone.
 
2014-04-29 03:44:31 PM  
It's a Klendathu weapon.

media.tumblr.com
 
Bf+
2014-04-29 03:45:51 PM  

Damaniel: Why is Fox News even discussing science - other than the obligatory 'evolution isn't real -- WERE YOU THERE?' derp they're usually known for?



Well, they do tend to be the first to weigh in on dark matters.
 
2014-04-29 03:48:21 PM  
Time to start work on converting Battleship Yamato into the Argo.
 
2014-04-29 03:48:28 PM  

KarmicDisaster: Or, as we like to call it, the Arachnid Quarantine Zone.


silverjets: It's a Klendathu weapon.

[media.tumblr.com image 500x379]


came for these, leaving satisfied
 
2014-04-29 03:48:46 PM  

silverjets: It's a Klendathu weapon.

[media.tumblr.com image 500x379]


Naw, I'm thinking these guys are behind it:

castleanorak.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-29 03:52:32 PM  

majestic: Naw, I'm thinking these guys are behind it:


WRONG AGAIN!

www.abandonia.com
 
2014-04-29 03:53:24 PM  
Dark matter?  I haven't even coped with the Dark Water yet!
static.tvtropes.org

/There were no pictures of the actual dark water
//obscure?
 
2014-04-29 03:54:47 PM  

buckler: It's either dark matter of the Centauri mass drivers. Take your pick.


Mass drivers? They have been outlawed by every civilized planet!
 
2014-04-29 03:55:48 PM  
Watch it subby, a lifetime NBA ban is closing in on you.
 
2014-04-29 03:55:50 PM  
It's only as loud as the silence it breaks, Subby.
 
2014-04-29 03:56:19 PM  
Service guarantees citizenship!
 
2014-04-29 03:56:39 PM  
I'm more worried about the way the earth sucks.
 
2014-04-29 03:57:00 PM  

divgradcurl: KarmicDisaster: Or, as we like to call it, the Arachnid Quarantine Zone.

silverjets: It's a Klendathu weapon.

[media.tumblr.com image 500x379]

came for these, leaving satisfied


Unlike me, who watched "Starship Troopers" twice, once in the theatre and once on DVD 5 years later.

/such a shiatty, shiatty movie
// watch twice becuase enough time had passed  said to myself "Maybe it wasn't so bad...".   No, it was.
 
2014-04-29 03:57:14 PM  
Is the dark matter steaming hot?
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-29 03:57:45 PM  
Yeah, the story is most likely sensationalist hype based on someone else's research, but either presented poorly, or just plain made up. You can tell 1 sentence in if it's a LiveScience article. God that website sucks.
 
2014-04-29 03:59:39 PM  

Damaniel: Why is Fox News even discussing science - other than the obligatory 'evolution isn't real -- WERE YOU THERE?' derp they're usually known for?


Because it's a story from LiveScience, the Mythbusters of science websites.
 
2014-04-29 04:00:51 PM  

Bastard_Lunatic: Mass drivers? They have been outlawed by every civilized planet!


img.fark.net
 
2014-04-29 04:01:00 PM  
What dark matter might look like
 www.drapekings.com
 
2014-04-29 04:01:32 PM  
Watch out for the alien ship - it shoots back.
www.vanderbilt.edu
 
2014-04-29 04:02:58 PM  
So teraport-based weaponry and TAD systems will work just fine.  No biggie.
 
2014-04-29 04:03:56 PM  

desl504: Is the dark matter steaming hot?
[img.fark.net image 467x293]


Only if electrons taste like grape-aid.
 
2014-04-29 04:05:12 PM  

Damaniel: Why is Fox News even discussing science - other than the obligatory 'evolution isn't real -- WERE YOU THERE?' derp they're usually known for?


My first thought as well. Maybe they've evaluated this and decided to "believe" it - unlike other science that they don't "believe" in. Cos belief totally matters with science.
 
2014-04-29 04:05:28 PM  

ObscureNameHere: Unlike me, who watched "Starship Troopers" twice, once in the theatre and once on DVD 5 years later.

/such a shiatty, shiatty movie
// watch twice becuase enough time had passed  said to myself "Maybe it wasn't so bad...".   No, it was.


Hey, it wasn't that bad. It had some of Verhoeven's trademark dark humour. And some tits, if I'm not mistaken.

Something else that perhaps makes me look on ST fondly is that I've seen Starship Troopers 2.

/The horror... the horror.
 
2014-04-29 04:06:51 PM  
divgradcurl:
/such a shiatty, shiatty movie
// watch twice becuase enough time had passed  said to myself "Maybe it wasn't so bad...".   No, it was.


HATED it when I saw it in the theater, expected serious sci-fi.  Watched it years later in a Space Balls / Stripes frame of mind; have been enjoying it ever since.

Bonus:

www.hotflick.net

my WANT for this woman is strong.  Very, very strong.
 
2014-04-29 04:09:19 PM  
divgradcurl:
came for these, leaving satisfied

Got a cigarette, big boy?

/also satisfied
//farked up my Boobies...
 
2014-04-29 04:11:39 PM  

majestic: silverjets: It's a Klendathu weapon.

[media.tumblr.com image 500x379]

Naw, I'm thinking these guys are behind it:

[castleanorak.files.wordpress.com image 850x637]


Nope....
i1222.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-29 04:12:55 PM  
Better not say anything about dark matter or you'll get a lifetime ban from the NBA
 
2014-04-29 04:13:11 PM  
majestic,
Naw, I'm thinking these guys are behind it:

This is bugging me.
What film/tv show were these low-budget jem'hadar in?
 
2014-04-29 04:15:22 PM  

ObscureNameHere: divgradcurl: KarmicDisaster: Or, as we like to call it, the Arachnid Quarantine Zone.

silverjets: It's a Klendathu weapon.

[media.tumblr.com image 500x379]

came for these, leaving satisfied

Unlike me, who watched "Starship Troopers" twice, once in the theatre and once on DVD 5 years later.

/such a shiatty, shiatty movie
// watch twice becuase enough time had passed  said to myself "Maybe it wasn't so bad...".   No, it was.


My approach to it is that it is satire and possibly even a comedy.  If you take it seriously it isn't going to work.
 
2014-04-29 04:16:24 PM  

Enemabag Jones: majestic,
Naw, I'm thinking these guys are behind it:

This is bugging me.
What film/tv show were these low-budget jem'hadar in?


The Last Starfighter.
 
2014-04-29 04:16:37 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: What dark matter might look like
 [www.drapekings.com image 850x569]


img.fark.net
 
2014-04-29 04:21:58 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: What dark matter might look like
 [www.drapekings.com image 850x569]


I,for one, am just real glad that dark matter is such a bad shot with a slingshot.
 
2014-04-29 04:23:17 PM  
media.tumblr.com

'It's an ugly planet.  A BUG Planet!'
 
2014-04-29 04:23:29 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Clemkadidlefark: What dark matter might look like
 [www.drapekings.com image 850x569]

[img.fark.net image 850x569]


Abe, the filter must have eaten your line:

You don't look at dark matter, it looks at you.
 
2014-04-29 04:26:43 PM  
Sooo, every 35 million years we get F'd up the A-hole. When are we due to get bent over next? Come on Fox, you're supposed to tell me when to be scared! Saying "scary things may happen at some point" doesn't affect me if not in the next 50 or so years.
 
2014-04-29 04:27:11 PM  
If you put out a window, dark matter, so help me....
 
2014-04-29 04:29:40 PM  

majestic: silverjets: It's a Klendathu weapon.

[media.tumblr.com image 500x379]

Naw, I'm thinking these guys are behind it:

[castleanorak.files.wordpress.com image 850x637]


It's just a matter of time.
 
2014-04-29 04:31:36 PM  
www.xiaohaha.net
 
2014-04-29 04:35:21 PM  
Aww, you'll put yer eye out, dark matter.
 
2014-04-29 04:36:02 PM  
You farkers are slipping...

img.fark.net
<It wasn't us!>

ObscureNameHere: /such a shiatty, shiatty movie
// watch twice becuase enough time had passed  said to myself "Maybe it wasn't so bad...".   No, it was.


So much THIS!

I love the book.  I hate the movie.

/Don't get me started on Dougie Howser, Waffen-SS
// "It's afraid! <in a small voice> of a sequel."
 
2014-04-29 04:43:27 PM  

MooseBayou: Watch out for the alien ship - it shoots back.
[www.vanderbilt.edu image 500x283]


omg.  What crappy knock of is that?
You couldn't find an actual image of the actual game?

www.math.cornell.edu
 
2014-04-29 04:45:09 PM  

Odd Bird: divgradcurl:
/such a shiatty, shiatty movie
// watch twice becuase enough time had passed  said to myself "Maybe it wasn't so bad...".   No, it was.

HATED it when I saw it in the theater, expected serious sci-fi.  Watched it years later in a Space Balls / Stripes frame of mind; have been enjoying it ever since.

Bonus:

[www.hotflick.net image 720x540]

my WANT for this woman is strong.  Very, very strong.


I liked the original, the sequels were pathetic. The video game I played as a kid would've been great as a movie storyline, They eventually get back to Klendathu and nuke all the queens. The book was nothing like the movie, kind of boring for what I was expecting.

/This post brought to you courtesy of the Roughnecks
 
2014-04-29 04:53:17 PM  

mike_d85: Dark matter?  I haven't even coped with the Dark Water yet!
[static.tvtropes.org image 225x151]

/There were no pictures of the actual dark water
//obscure?


I loved that show as a kid.
+1 cool points for you.
 
2014-04-29 04:53:46 PM  
Whodathunkit?  A Fox News science article.  Full of fear, of course.
 
2014-04-29 04:55:51 PM  
Let the memory of the evening be the first thing that you think of when you open up your smile and see me.
 
2014-04-29 04:56:29 PM  
Interesting video on the zero point field and theoretical physics:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW1gl6_QK-M
 
2014-04-29 04:58:43 PM  
Past research has suggested meteor bombardment of Earth rises and falls in a cycle about 35 million years long. In the past, scientists have proposed a cosmic trigger for this cycle, such as a potential companion star for the sun with the dramatic name "Nemesis"

Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody's happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bMM61Y5CEU
 
2014-04-29 05:09:48 PM  

Damaniel: Why is Fox News even discussing science - other than the obligatory 'evolution isn't real -- WERE YOU THERE?' derp they're usually known for?


"Comments are currently closed for this article." Awwwwww, man. Was looking forward to

willisweb.com
 
2014-04-29 05:12:29 PM  
Donald Sterling wouldn't have anything to do with this, would he?
 
2014-04-29 05:13:46 PM  
9 ball, corner pocket.
 
2014-04-29 05:13:52 PM  

apotheosis27: Whodathunkit?  A Fox News science article.  Full of fear, of course.


And when other media outlets write about how climate change is going to kill us all unless we "do something", there's no "fear" there whatsoever. Nope, nothing fearmongering whatsoever about telling the public that people will die without more government controls, more government power.
 
2014-04-29 05:25:04 PM  

Enemabag Jones: majestic,
Naw, I'm thinking these guys are behind it:

This is bugging me.
What film/tv show were these low-budget jem'hadar in?


The Last Starfighter

/Total aside, that was the first feature film to use computer generated effects...
 
2014-04-29 05:25:49 PM  

Damaniel: Why is Fox News even discussing science - other than the obligatory 'evolution isn't real -- WERE YOU THERE?' derp they're usually known for?


Well, they like science when they can add the word "could" to a headline and turn it into a conjecture-based imminent disaster.

The sky could be falling ANY MINUTE NOW!!!
 
2014-04-29 05:28:43 PM  
Thank god I don't live in Argentina
 
2014-04-29 05:55:20 PM  
Yes. The universe is big and scary. It might throw large planet-killing rocks at us from time to time, or send X-Class flares or Gamma Ray Bursts at us.

I was going to put more here, but it would be irrelevant. Didn't really help these guys to worry:


tvrecappersanonymous.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-29 05:58:45 PM  

Odd Bird: divgradcurl:
/such a shiatty, shiatty movie
// watch twice becuase enough time had passed  said to myself "Maybe it wasn't so bad...".   No, it was.

HATED it when I saw it in the theater, expected serious sci-fi.  Watched it years later in a Space Balls / Stripes frame of mind; have been enjoying it ever since.

Bonus:

[www.hotflick.net image 720x540]

my WANT for this woman is strong.  Very, very strong.


This may be relevant to your interests:

img.fark.net
/And people say Twitter is useless...
 
2014-04-29 06:34:00 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Don't have a cow, man!
 
2014-04-29 06:45:43 PM  
So, let me see if I can boil this down:

1. We think that a massive object killed off the dinosaurs

2.  We Think that Dark matter exists

3.  We think that maybe there's a disc of dark matter that the sun passes thru on roughly a 35 million year cycle.

4.  They suggest that somehow the dark matter interacts with our Oort Cloud to move primordial matter into a cometary orbit therefore potentially hitting earth.

5.  We are all going to die...

Seriously, should we worry about this or not?  I mean, are we going into the dark disc tomorrow and we need to be on the lookout for the next 1 million years, since comet periods are so slow...hallys is what?  86 years a trip?  You would need a lot of matter, or a lot of trips.

Good old Fox "news" - We misinterpret the science, saving you the trouble of thinking!
 
2014-04-29 07:11:42 PM  
mobileinfantry.free.fr
WE WANT OUR POWERED ARMOR!
 
2014-04-29 07:49:32 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Odd Bird: divgradcurl:
/such a shiatty, shiatty movie
// watch twice becuase enough time had passed  said to myself "Maybe it wasn't so bad...".   No, it was.

HATED it when I saw it in the theater, expected serious sci-fi.  Watched it years later in a Space Balls / Stripes frame of mind; have been enjoying it ever since.

Bonus:

[www.hotflick.net image 720x540]

my WANT for this woman is strong.  Very, very strong.

This may be relevant to your interests:

[img.fark.net image 614x877]
/And people say Twitter is useless...


www.40kforums.com
 
2014-04-29 07:50:03 PM  
i208.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-29 08:22:06 PM  

buckler: It's either dark matter of the Centauri mass drivers. Take your pick.


Who are you?
 
2014-04-29 08:51:25 PM  
Of coarse it's dark matter because space is dark and gooey.
 
2014-04-29 09:49:56 PM  

ciberido: buckler: It's either dark matter of the Centauri mass drivers. Take your pick.

Who are you?


He's Centauri. He doesn't even see you.
 
2014-04-29 11:52:25 PM  

MooseBayou: Watch out for the alien ship - it shoots back.
[www.vanderbilt.edu image 500x283]


I love that game.  Only problem was I kept running out of quarters.
 
2014-04-30 12:14:04 AM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: ciberido: buckler: It's either dark matter of the Centauri mass drivers. Take your pick.

Who are you?

He's Centauri. He doesn't even see you.


Well, I'm not playing cards with him, then.
 
2014-04-30 12:45:06 AM  
Wait a minute. A disturbance in the Oort cloud, sending comets into the inner solar system, increases our chances of being hit with asteroids? Does Fox News think orbital mechanics is like a pool game? I'll take the 9-3-11 combo, two rails, in the side pocket.
 
2014-04-30 12:48:18 AM  

ciberido: Well, I'm not playing cards with him, then.


Nasty.
 
2014-04-30 02:17:53 AM  
I am shocked, shocked I tell you that no one has posted the hot physicist / cosmologist picture yet...  Well here you go

www.oberlin.edu

Dr. Lisa Randall

 
2014-04-30 05:12:49 AM  

noblewolf: I am shocked, shocked I tell you that no one has posted the hot physicist / cosmologist picture yet...  Well here you go

[www.oberlin.edu image 280x340]Dr. Lisa Randall


img.fark.net

looks legit
 
2014-04-30 12:17:18 PM  
Mad_Radhu - Dina Meyer, I would smite her like the fist of an angry god!  I'm sure "Piranha 3D" was a good career choice for her, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUKY3MEEuY0
 
2014-04-30 01:02:37 PM  

ObscureNameHere: divgradcurl: KarmicDisaster: Or, as we like to call it, the Arachnid Quarantine Zone.

silverjets: It's a Klendathu weapon.

[media.tumblr.com image 500x379]

came for these, leaving satisfied

Unlike me, who watched "Starship Troopers" twice, once in the theatre and once on DVD 5 years later.

/such a shiatty, shiatty movie
// watch twice becuase enough time had passed  said to myself "Maybe it wasn't so bad...".   No, it was.


and it was deliciously punished for that... :)
img.fark.net
 
Displayed 83 of 83 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report