If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Guardian)   Atheist Assembly, which is totally not a religion and don't you ever say it is, prepares for first synod to establish ecclesiastical structure and doctrine   (theguardian.com) divider line 162
    More: Fail, social structures, atheists  
•       •       •

2270 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2014 at 1:00 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



162 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-04-29 11:07:35 AM  
You stupid bastards. I've never needed a support group and announce my disbelief in something. Stop trying to make the absence of religion a religion.
 
2014-04-29 11:09:38 AM  
Yeah, I won't be going to that shiat.
 
2014-04-29 11:13:01 AM  
Farking hell. The people behind this are the exact same kind of assholes who took a simple belief in a sky fairy and used it to dominate the lives of everyone else. 

Well done, now there is a schism in atheism. When does the holy war start?

I just don't believe in any gods or supernatural beings of any description. Do I now have to go by a different name, or can we get these assholes to call themselves something other than atheists? I reckon they're protheists. They love the idea of god, but know there isn't one, so are making their own religion around there being no god. Anyone got a better idea for a name for them? Besides 'coonts', of course. Fark you filter, stop censoring my fanatical religious hatred.
 
2014-04-29 11:20:35 AM  
An organization is not necessarily a religion.

It can be something I won't ever bother attending, though.  Because yawn.
 
2014-04-29 11:24:02 AM  
I get it, I do. Some people, especially people who have left a previous faith, feel a need to have something like church/temple/mosque in their lives. They need to have fellowship and a place to go to gather with others and maybe sing and talk. It's not something I need, but I get why some people do.

But don't be fooled. Don't think for a second that it can't happen to you. Don't think, while laying down your doctrine, that it can't be used to justify terrible behavior just like a religious text is. Don't think that your organization won't be susceptible to corruption just because its structure isn't built around supernatural beings. Don't think that just because Jesus isn't mentioned on Sunday that a collection plate won't be passed around and donations expected of you. Don't think that the same kinds of assholes who form cliques in church won't be there to judge how you dress, how you live, how you raise your kids, and how big your pocketbook is.
 
2014-04-29 11:26:21 AM  
Doesn't ANYTHING come pre-assembled these days?
 
2014-04-29 11:28:03 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Doesn't ANYTHING come pre-assembled these days?


Food.
 
2014-04-29 11:28:34 AM  
Do they pass around a collection plate so you can pay your ministers?
 
2014-04-29 11:29:15 AM  

exick: I get it, I do. Some people, especially people who have left a previous faith, feel a need to have something like church/temple/mosque in their lives. They need to have fellowship and a place to go to gather with others and maybe sing and talk. It's not something I need, but I get why some people do.

But don't be fooled. Don't think for a second that it can't happen to you. Don't think, while laying down your doctrine, that it can't be used to justify terrible behavior just like a religious text is. Don't think that your organization won't be susceptible to corruption just because its structure isn't built around supernatural beings. Don't think that just because Jesus isn't mentioned on Sunday that a collection plate won't be passed around and donations expected of you. Don't think that the same kinds of assholes who form cliques in church won't be there to judge how you dress, how you live, how you raise your kids, and how big your pocketbook is.


We call that the bar.
 
2014-04-29 11:42:57 AM  

R.A.Danny: exick: I get it, I do. Some people, especially people who have left a previous faith, feel a need to have something like church/temple/mosque in their lives. They need to have fellowship and a place to go to gather with others and maybe sing and talk. It's not something I need, but I get why some people do.

We call that the bar.


Amen to that.
 
2014-04-29 11:48:31 AM  

Slaxl: Well done, now there is a schism in atheism. When does the holy war start?


2546.

img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-04-29 11:49:18 AM  

Slaxl: Well done, now there is a schism in atheism. When does the holy war start?


southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
 
2014-04-29 11:49:53 AM  
Goddamn it!!!
 
2014-04-29 11:53:40 AM  
Lot of mutherfarkers still watching southpark.
 
2014-04-29 11:54:33 AM  
Came for the South Park. Leaving satisfied.
 
2014-04-29 11:59:44 AM  

James!: Lot of mutherfarkers still watching southpark.

You want to know something that will make you feel old? The episode of South Park in question is just about 8 years old.
 
2014-04-29 12:02:01 PM  

exick: James!: Lot of mutherfarkers still watching southpark.
You want to know something that will make you feel old? The episode of South Park in question is just about 8 years old.


Lot of mutherfarkers have an encyclopedic memory of south park episodes.

Never cared for it myself.
 
2014-04-29 12:02:57 PM  
cdn.twitrcovers.com
 
2014-04-29 12:03:26 PM  
Well, if *I* was in charge of that shiat, I wouldn't hold the damn meeting on Sundays. I would use Friday afternoon Happy Hours as the focal point of the meeting, thereby leaving the weekend free.

These people need to think things through.

Good headline, by the way.
 
2014-04-29 12:05:19 PM  

exick: I get it, I do. Some people, especially people who have left a previous faith, feel a need to have something like church/temple/mosque in their lives. They need to have fellowship and a place to go to gather with others and maybe sing and talk. It's not something I need, but I get why some people do.

But don't be fooled. Don't think for a second that it can't happen to you. Don't think, while laying down your doctrine, that it can't be used to justify terrible behavior just like a religious text is. Don't think that your organization won't be susceptible to corruption just because its structure isn't built around supernatural beings. Don't think that just because Jesus isn't mentioned on Sunday that a collection plate won't be passed around and donations expected of you. Don't think that the same kinds of assholes who form cliques in church won't be there to judge how you dress, how you live, how you raise your kids, and how big your pocketbook is.


The problem with this is that acting just like the religious groups legitimizes their asshattery. We were trying to evolve beyond that, but then these idiots came along.

Maybe humans as a group just aren't capable of better.

/now I'm depressed
//someone mentioned a bar?
 
2014-04-29 12:12:54 PM  
In addition, they will elect members to the organisation's board, debate how it should be governed and, critically, agree on the limits of the new non-church's doctrine.

i76.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-29 12:16:46 PM  
The more things change, the more they stay the same.

//Humans are social animals, whodathunkit?
 
2014-04-29 12:19:10 PM  
Well, the author certainly uses lots of religious language, but I don't see the members calling it a synod, though they do "acknowledge [that it] will be compared to the Church of England's General Synod."

Basically, they are adopting an organizational system based on churches, much like the RC Church adopted the secular administrative system set up by the Romans.

RTFA...it actually helps.  People should try it.
 
2014-04-29 12:20:50 PM  

MrBallou: //someone mentioned a bar?


Yo.
 
2014-04-29 12:23:51 PM  

R.A.Danny: exick: I get it, I do. Some people, especially people who have left a previous faith, feel a need to have something like church/temple/mosque in their lives. They need to have fellowship and a place to go to gather with others and maybe sing and talk. It's not something I need, but I get why some people do.

But don't be fooled. Don't think for a second that it can't happen to you. Don't think, while laying down your doctrine, that it can't be used to justify terrible behavior just like a religious text is. Don't think that your organization won't be susceptible to corruption just because its structure isn't built around supernatural beings. Don't think that just because Jesus isn't mentioned on Sunday that a collection plate won't be passed around and donations expected of you. Don't think that the same kinds of assholes who form cliques in church won't be there to judge how you dress, how you live, how you raise your kids, and how big your pocketbook is.

We call that the bar.


For the peons, us higher ups meet in a strip club.
 
2014-04-29 12:27:39 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: Well, the author certainly uses lots of religious language, but I don't see the members calling it a synod, though they do "acknowledge [that it] will be compared to the Church of England's General Synod."

Basically, they are adopting an organizational system based on churches, much like the RC Church adopted the secular administrative system set up by the Romans.

RTFA...it actually helps.  People should try it.


Troll
 
2014-04-29 12:27:42 PM  

James!: Lot of mutherfarkers have an encyclopedic memory of south park episodes.

Never cared for it myself


Marry me and then let's away.
 
2014-04-29 12:30:24 PM  

Old_Chief_Scott: Well, if *I* was in charge of that shiat, I wouldn't hold the damn meeting on Sundays. I would use Friday afternoon Happy Hours as the focal point of the meeting, thereby leaving the weekend free.

These people need to think things through.

Good headline, by the way.


Since I live in a state the still has farking blue laws, Sunday is a good day to be at the bar. Which is where I am atm.

/chugs beer, orders double
/amen and wommens too
 
2014-04-29 12:33:23 PM  

grokca: R.A.Danny: exick: I get it, I do. Some people, especially people who have left a previous faith, feel a need to have something like church/temple/mosque in their lives. They need to have fellowship and a place to go to gather with others and maybe sing and talk. It's not something I need, but I get why some people do.

But don't be fooled. Don't think for a second that it can't happen to you. Don't think, while laying down your doctrine, that it can't be used to justify terrible behavior just like a religious text is. Don't think that your organization won't be susceptible to corruption just because its structure isn't built around supernatural beings. Don't think that just because Jesus isn't mentioned on Sunday that a collection plate won't be passed around and donations expected of you. Don't think that the same kinds of assholes who form cliques in church won't be there to judge how you dress, how you live, how you raise your kids, and how big your pocketbook is.

We call that the bar.

For the peons, us higher ups meet in a strip club.


There is not one, repeat not one strip club in my county. I still save up my singles out if habit.

/mmm stripper nuns
 
2014-04-29 12:37:12 PM  
Church is a great place to pick up chicks if you're socially awkward. You're in for the long haul, though. Be careful.
 
2014-04-29 12:46:46 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: Church is a great place to pick up chicks if you're socially awkward. You're in for the long haul, though. Be careful.


You say that like it's a bad thing

♪♫ Catholic Girls

In a little white dress
Catholic Girls
They never confess
Catholic Girls
I got one for a cousin
I love how they go
So send me a dozen ♪♫

 
2014-04-29 01:02:37 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-29 01:02:49 PM  
Atheism is not a religion. But when you start to worship the concept of atheism, THAT becomes a religion.
 
2014-04-29 01:04:40 PM  
I was told there would be no homework.
 
2014-04-29 01:04:46 PM  
Sounds like mockery to me.
 
2014-04-29 01:05:43 PM  
Also:  obligatory, aptly-surnamed regular shows up in 3.... 2....
 
2014-04-29 01:05:50 PM  
Yeah well, I'll continue to celebrate my atheism by drinking coffee and playing video games on Sunday mornings.  And Saturdays.  I like to worship.
 
2014-04-29 01:06:15 PM  

Slaxl: Farking hell. The people behind this are the exact same kind of assholes who took a simple belief in a sky fairy and used it to dominate the lives of everyone else.


bears
bears
bears
bears
 
2014-04-29 01:06:33 PM  
My religion is...

*consults random term generator*

...Necrotizing Fasciitis.
 
2014-04-29 01:06:48 PM  
Is this one of those things where I'm supposed to pretend I can't see the irony in religious people pointing at atheists and going "HAHA! You're acting like me you stupid jerk!"?

/ I'm not going to atheist services on Sunday morning
// fark off, I'm sleeping
 
2014-04-29 01:07:49 PM  
The sense of community offered by a church is a feature that people value. If you can generate that, with all the moral instruction/discussion and such, I think many people would go for it.
 
2014-04-29 01:08:01 PM  
They don't get to define me or my lack of belief.  I think that Atheists should actually be a little pissed off about what they are doing.
 
2014-04-29 01:09:45 PM  
I guess some folks need a religion even if they don't believe in anything.
 
2014-04-29 01:10:07 PM  
I guess they just don't get that most people don't want to get up on Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! and go listen to some assholes opinion on how to be good.
 
2014-04-29 01:10:47 PM  
So... a church full of Dawkins types? Sounds goddam horrible. I miss the Inquisition already.
 
2014-04-29 01:11:02 PM  
fc07.deviantart.net
 
2014-04-29 01:12:03 PM  
There are always people who believe something. Some believe there is a god, others don't. Then there are others who like making rules and profiting off of those beliefs but don't necessarily hold those tenets near and dear to their hearts. These assholes are the latter. They see an opportunity to part people from their money and shelter it from taxation just like the JudeoCathoProtestoMuslims that have come before them.

There will always be an idea and then someone looking to monetize it.

/as it always has been
 
2014-04-29 01:12:26 PM  
"Will there be meetings?"
"Of course!"
"...no meetings." [resumes shooting]
 
2014-04-29 01:13:37 PM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2014-04-29 01:13:42 PM  

Slaxl: Farking hell. The people behind this are the exact same kind of assholes who took a simple belief in a sky fairy and used it to dominate the lives of everyone else. 

Well done, now there is a schism in atheism. When does the holy war start?

I just don't believe in any gods or supernatural beings of any description. Do I now have to go by a different name, or can we get these assholes to call themselves something other than atheists? I reckon they're protheists. They love the idea of god, but know there isn't one, so are making their own religion around there being no god. Anyone got a better idea for a name for them? Besides 'coonts', of course. Fark you filter, stop censoring my fanatical religious hatred.


As soon as they claim Jerusalem
 
Displayed 50 of 162 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report