If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   "As a breakup coach" - FFS, that's a profession now?   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 89
    More: Obvious, tutors, completely normal, reliefs  
•       •       •

3151 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Apr 2014 at 2:46 PM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



89 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-04-28 01:22:48 PM
I prefer a team approach.

www.allaboutbarsinfo.com
 
2014-04-28 01:34:16 PM
Keep strong, Subby.  We have grief counselors available if you need them.
 
2014-04-28 01:57:58 PM
Of course you need a coach

/♫ 'cause breaking up is hard to do... ♫
 
2014-04-28 02:03:01 PM
We had broken up for good
Just an hour before
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah, aah
And now I'm staring at the bodies
As they're dancing 'cross the floor
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah, aah

Greg Kihn - Breakup coach
 
2014-04-28 02:40:35 PM
We have to talk.
 
2014-04-28 02:48:06 PM
Just slip out the back, Jack.
 
2014-04-28 02:50:27 PM
People still breakup with eachother? I thought you were just supposed to move get a new job and have your phone disconnected.
 
2014-04-28 02:52:03 PM
www.hotflick.net

Scott: What do you mean you're dumping me?

Fiona: Scott, I just can't take all the lying and cheating on each other anymore.

Scott: What are you talking about? Sweetie, I never cheated on you!

Fiona: I know. That's what makes this so hard.

Fiona: Scotty, it's not you, it's me... There I go, lying again! No, it *was* you!
 
2014-04-28 02:52:33 PM
Tiny e-clips,
that once held on your brakes.
Now they're in my pocket.
Now you are gone.
 
2014-04-28 02:57:23 PM
Pro Tip: Most 'marriage counseling' is just 'break up counseling'.

Suck it
 
2014-04-28 02:57:56 PM

gunslinger_RG: We had broken up for good
Just an hour before
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah, aah
And now I'm staring at the bodies
As they're dancing 'cross the floor
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah, aah

Greg Kihn - Breakup coach


They don't write 'em like that anymore.
 
2014-04-28 02:59:25 PM
As Dara O'Briain pointed out (somewhat paraphrased), "breakup coach" is to lawyer like "toothiologist" is to "dentist". Basically, a breakup coach is someone who passed the bar in Judge Judy.
 
2014-04-28 03:00:04 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: [www.hotflick.net image 850x478]

Scott: What do you mean you're dumping me?

Fiona: Scott, I just can't take all the lying and cheating on each other anymore.

Scott: What are you talking about? Sweetie, I never cheated on you!

Fiona: I know. That's what makes this so hard.

Fiona: Scotty, it's not you, it's me... There I go, lying again! No, it *was* you!


♫ Scotty doesn't know... Scotty doesn't know...♫
 
2014-04-28 03:02:20 PM

jankyboy: Sin_City_Superhero: [www.hotflick.net image 850x478]

Scott: What do you mean you're dumping me?

Fiona: Scott, I just can't take all the lying and cheating on each other anymore.

Scott: What are you talking about? Sweetie, I never cheated on you!

Fiona: I know. That's what makes this so hard.

Fiona: Scotty, it's not you, it's me... There I go, lying again! No, it *was* you!

♫ Scotty doesn't know... Scotty doesn't know...♫


I love the European dance club remix.
 
2014-04-28 03:03:05 PM
The notion of a breakup coach is ridiculous, but this:

nothing I could do would make our relationship function in a healthy way. All the wishing, hoping and praying in the world couldn't change him. Changing myself couldn't change him either.

and this

All the energy I channeled into trying to make our relationship work was now being channeled into my own well-being and it felt absolutely fantastic.

and this

I constantly defended my relationship to others, trying to force a circle into a square. Once he was no longer in my life, it felt wonderful to "come clean" about how miserable I was in the relationship. Each person who said to me, "We really liked him, but..." helped me to be more honest with myself about what our relationship actually was -- toxic and exhausting.

are so amazingly true that I have decided I hate myself again for being such a bad relationship stereotype.
 
2014-04-28 03:04:04 PM
Who wants a breakup coach that tool 3.75 years to breakup with someone?
 
2014-04-28 03:04:13 PM
FTFA: he didn't love me the way I deserved (I'm a survivor of partner abuse)

Wait...what? Does she actually think she deserves to be loved more because she experienced abuse in a former relationship?  Don't ALL people deserve the same levels of love and respect in their relationships independent from their former experiences?
 
2014-04-28 03:04:31 PM
img.fark.net

"In my country, when you want to break up with a girl, you say 'I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee'. And then you throw dog poop on her shoes."
 
2014-04-28 03:05:27 PM
Stopped reading at this: "Though he didn't love me the way I deserved"

Deserved? I think I see your problem, my dear. One doesn't deserve to be loved. One earns it, honey.

She knew he wasn't the right guy for her in three months, but stayed in the relationship for four more years. I don't think I want her advice. Do you?
 
2014-04-28 03:06:10 PM

TheManMythLegend: Who wants a breakup coach that tool 3.75 years to breakup with someone?


because that person will understand and appreciate the hesitation, doubt, fear involved in trying to extricate yourself from a shiatty partner better than someone who could do it easily?
 
2014-04-28 03:09:20 PM
You're worthless, homely, pathetic and lucky to have anyone who loves you!
 
2014-04-28 03:09:38 PM
She "knew she meant a lot to him" but that wasn't loving her as she deserved? Sure, I'll admit that some guys just aren't capable or willing to truly love a woman, but that does make me wonder what she thinks she deserved.

The article's thrust, "5 reasons why you should break up" is a poor excuse for relationship advice. If she's really going to put herself forward as a professional she shouldn't so much tell people why they need to break up, but rather give them the tools to evaluate their own relationships for underlying weakness. Try instead "5 questions to help you decide if it's time to end it:"

1) Would you feel relief if the relationship ended?
2) Is your SO holding you back (instead of enhancing your life)?
3) Is there any abuse (physical, sexual, emotional) in your relationship?
4) Do you spend a significant amount of time having to defend your relationship?
5) Is the relationship on a flat or negative trajectory (instead of a positive one)?

If you answer those questions with "yes," it's time (or past time) to end it. But the author of TFA makes it sound like a relationship is something to be dumped for self-actualization... sometimes it is, sometimes that's bullshiat. But quite honestly, if you have to rationalize staying with your SO, you're wasting your life with that person.
 
2014-04-28 03:10:29 PM

TheManMythLegend: Who wants a breakup coach that tool 3.75 years to breakup with someone?


They probably charge by the hour.
 
2014-04-28 03:11:02 PM
What if you want to fire your break-up coach, but they think you are just practicing your break-up speech on them?
 
2014-04-28 03:11:50 PM

TheManMythLegend: Who wants a breakup coach that tool 3.75 years to breakup with someone?


The same idiots who think being twice divorced qualify them to be marriage counselors. Some people are under the impression that even though their relationship skills are so poor they shouldn't even be trusted to housesit a cat that they may have great relationship insights.

If your track record is not one of accomplishment you probably should not be coaching/mentoring others, be it in finances, careers, relationships, or anything else.
 
2014-04-28 03:17:24 PM
The only way that article made sense was using the same voice in my head for when I read "Cathy" cartoons.
 
2014-04-28 03:18:05 PM
This woman knew three months into a relationship that they were incompatible and it would never work. Then she spent four years working up the courage to break up.

And she wants people to take her relationship advice.

THAT'S the FFS.
 
2014-04-28 03:18:21 PM
Have a prenup, then you can just not give a shiat.
 
2014-04-28 03:19:40 PM

akula: If your track record is not one of accomplishment you probably should not be coaching/mentoring others, be it in finances, careers, relationships, or anything else.


Normally, I'd be inclined to agree, but some people, no matter how successful, are incapable of helping others succeed because they are incapable of understanding the mindset of a person in a situation they could never find themselves in and therefore cannot guide them out of it.
 
2014-04-28 03:20:58 PM
Ladies, all you really need is a rebound man.

/available, reasonable rates
 
2014-04-28 03:21:26 PM
Paul Simon, breakup coach.
 
2014-04-28 03:23:40 PM

Paris in the the Spring: akula: If your track record is not one of accomplishment you probably should not be coaching/mentoring others, be it in finances, careers, relationships, or anything else.

Normally, I'd be inclined to agree, but some people, no matter how successful, are incapable of helping others succeed because they are incapable of understanding the mindset of a person in a situation they could never find themselves in and therefore cannot guide them out of it.


No argument, but that doesn't mean failure is automatically a qualification either. It takes a good deal of insight and empathy to be an effective counselor. Knowing the way forward doesn't mean you can empathize and assist people stuck in a mess but neither does having personal history in that mess mean you are capable of helping others find the way forward. Takes both pieces, it does. I, however, tend to look with some suspicion upon those who claim the mantle of coach/counselor/mentor who have experienced the lows but without any of the successes.
 
2014-04-28 03:23:50 PM

Serious Post on Serious Thread: Pro Tip: Most 'marriage counseling' is just 'break up counseling'.

Suck it


My wife and I went to multiple sessions some years ago. We are now the happiest couple we know.

But to be fair at that time we were teetering on the brink and it could have gone either way depending on how hard we were willing to fight for one another. Thankfully the answer was "however hard we have to". So you're not wrong; you wouldn't be at marriage counseling if everything was hunky farking dory.
 
2014-04-28 03:26:11 PM
Three important rules for breaking up:
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to.  Prolonging the situation only makes it worse.  Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly.
Don't make a big production.
Don't make up an elaborate story.  This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene.
If you wanna date other people say so.  Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected.  Even if you've gone together for only a short time and haven't been too serious, there's still a feeling of rejection when someone says she prefers the company of others to your exclusive company.  But if you're honest, and direct, and avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you break the news, the boy will respect you for your frankness, and honestly he'll appreciate the kind of straightforward manner in which you told him your decision.  Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you will remain friends.
 
2014-04-28 03:31:51 PM
Just send her a text lol
 
2014-04-28 03:31:53 PM

notatrollorami: Serious Post on Serious Thread: Pro Tip: Most 'marriage counseling' is just 'break up counseling'.

Suck it

My wife and I went to multiple sessions some years ago. We are now the happiest couple we know.

But to be fair at that time we were teetering on the brink and it could have gone either way depending on how hard we were willing to fight for one another. Thankfully the answer was "however hard we have to". So you're not wrong; you wouldn't be at marriage counseling if everything was hunky farking dory.


Glad you made it! You are successful because you were willing to do the hard work. Most people aren't. And, as a lot of men find out, their soon-to-be-ex-wives only go through the counseling to make themselves feel like they made an effort to save the marriage, when in reality, they had already made the decision to end it months earlier.
 
2014-04-28 03:35:37 PM

notatrollorami: Serious Post on Serious Thread: Pro Tip: Most 'marriage counseling' is just 'break up counseling'.

Suck it

My wife and I went to multiple sessions some years ago. We are now the happiest couple we know.

But to be fair at that time we were teetering on the brink and it could have gone either way depending on how hard we were willing to fight for one another. Thankfully the answer was "however hard we have to". So you're not wrong; you wouldn't be at marriage counseling if everything was hunky farking dory.


If not phone posting i'd do a 'strike through' through your "for".

But i'd love to see some stats. Too lazy to lmgtfy right now. But i bet it's worse than AA and only slightly better than 'pray the gay away' results. Which is to say 'slim to none'.
 
2014-04-28 03:36:19 PM
For subby, the whole 'coach' thing seems to be part of a trend of, say, the last 10-15 years.  Apparently, it is 'normal' now for adults to NOT be able to cope with emotions, therefore you outsource.   It is all part of raising generations of emotional cripples.

Example seen with the pubic school system here in Canada:
A couple of years ago there were shots fired *near* a middle school.  Bad, yes.  But, no one was actually shot.  No students were involved.
News stories said "Grief counsellors were sent to the school."
W.T.F.?   No one shot, no one died, but they need 'grief counsellars'.

When I was in public school (about Grade 2-3) a kid was killed when a tow truck hit him while riding his bike.   At no point would there ever have been a descent of do-gooder 'couselllors'.   People were ALLOWED to feel bad in their own way.  Apparently that is passe these days.

"Lifecoach?  Pay a $100 to someone to do what your friends should tell you for free" - Ron James (I think)
 
2014-04-28 03:36:24 PM
"I don't want to go out with you anymore. I've met someone else/just don't see us going anywhere (delete as appropriate) and think we should end it now. No, I don't think we should try to be friends"

You're welcome.
 
2014-04-28 03:37:25 PM
People need a coach to tell them how to text their soon-to-be ex?
 
2014-04-28 03:39:47 PM

jankyboy: Sin_City_Superhero: [www.hotflick.net image 850x478]

Scott: What do you mean you're dumping me?

Fiona: Scott, I just can't take all the lying and cheating on each other anymore.

Scott: What are you talking about? Sweetie, I never cheated on you!

Fiona: I know. That's what makes this so hard.

Fiona: Scotty, it's not you, it's me... There I go, lying again! No, it *was* you!

♫ Scotty doesn't know... Scotty doesn't know...♫


Scotty's gotta GO!
 
2014-04-28 03:42:01 PM
its a "profession" as long as some schmuck (probably in the upper 2 or 3% wealth bracket) is willing to pay for it.  course, most of it is not their money so no big deal.


kinda' like the psychologist for dogs.  a neat idea if you're spending someone else's money paying for it.
 
2014-04-28 03:45:58 PM

Odd Bird: Ladies, all you really need is a rebound man.

/available, reasonable rates



there we go girls!!   create some jobs and do your part to stimulate my economy.
 
2014-04-28 03:46:41 PM

Serious Post on Serious Thread: Pro Tip: Most 'marriage counseling' is just 'break up counseling'.

Suck it


As soon as my "marriage counselor" did our individual sessions and recommended my wife go see a psychiatrist so that she can be put on something for mood swings she asked me point blank - can you see yourself having children with her? I'm filling out separation papers next Friday.
 
2014-04-28 03:46:52 PM

JackieRabbit: And, as a lot of men find out, their soon-to-be-ex-wives only go through the counseling to make themselves feel like they made an effort to save the marriage, when in reality, they had already made the decision to end it months earlier.


I wouldn't limit it to men. I've seen some instances where it's the wife who sees the husband just go through the motions and refuse to do a thing.

Usually, by the time a marriage ends up in a counselor's office it's pretty far gone anyway. Chances of saving such relationships tend to be low because one or the other has already checked out but are along for the ride. Either they're doing it for external reasons (they think a divorce court will be happier if a token effort to save it is made) or internal ones (lying to themselves about doing what they could or they think the problem is 100% with the spouse), but counseling at that point may indeed be doomed to failure.

Those who are willing to put in the hard work will find success. Those just viewing it as a waypoint on the way out the door or as a means to "fixing" the other person will find it pointless. Thing is, both partners have to be 100% invested. Anything less than that and they're just wasting assets they would be fighting over later anyway.
 
2014-04-28 03:47:15 PM
Let's see if the breakup coach can help the guy from earlier today, the guy whose ex left a horse head om his truck 2-3 years after the breakup.  If he can fix that, then I will give it the job a little respect.
 
2014-04-28 03:47:30 PM
akula:
5) Is the relationship on a flat or negative trajectory (instead of a positive one)?

If you answer those questions with "yes," it's time (or past time) to end it. But the author of TFA makes it sound like a relationship is something to be dumped for self-actualization... sometimes it is, sometimes that's bullshiat. But quite honestly, if you have to rationalize staying with your SO, you're wasting your life with that person.


Are you in it for the long haul?
 
2014-04-28 03:48:10 PM
I knew I wasn't supposed to be with my ex-boyfriend about three months into our relationship. I still remember the moment it clicked for me... I couldn't help but feel like I was talking to an alien... I could very plainly see that our values and approaches to life were just incompatible... Despite this realization, it took me four years to end the relationship.

Though he didn't love me the way I deserved (I'm a survivor of partner abuse)...

As a breakup coach ... I don't convince them to break up with someone before they feel ready, especially if abuse is involved, as that can be dangerous.



What are three things said by the worst break-up coach ever?

/I will also accept "What is further proof that you don't need to be useful to have a column on Huffington Post the Internet?"
 
2014-04-28 03:51:01 PM

teenage mutant ninja rapist: People still breakup with eachother?


No.  Now we have "conscious uncoupling."
 
2014-04-28 03:52:50 PM
Welcome to Dumpsville, baby. Population: You.
 
Displayed 50 of 89 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report