If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Jesus accused of being a toe-sucking teacher in Cincinnati   (story.news.yahoo.com) divider line 73
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

9987 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2004 at 12:17 AM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



73 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2004-02-06 04:51:34 PM
So not only has Jesus come back to Earth a couple months early, he's also decided to take this whole 'washing the feet of the poor' a step further and suck the dirt off kids' toes?
 
2004-02-06 04:56:33 PM
Better than a priest sucking their wang.
 
2004-02-06 05:44:19 PM
A class on toe-sucking?
 
2004-02-06 06:26:08 PM
 
2004-02-06 06:41:15 PM
Maybe he grew up in Thailand and can't resist the sucky-sucky?
 
2004-02-07 12:20:40 AM
They just showed a chick on Fox reality show getting paid to suck the toes of strangers, I thought that was quite obscene, but somehow it was on network TV.
 
2004-02-07 12:23:18 AM
(says in his best Chairman Kaga impersonation)
I SUMMON THE IRON BEVETS!
 
2004-02-07 12:24:02 AM
He was framed, it's not April 5 yet.
 
2004-02-07 12:24:14 AM
"...This little piggy tastes like roast beef..."
 
2004-02-07 12:24:16 AM
Just a question for the submitter....

Since when is Merced, California known as Cincinnati
 
2004-02-07 12:24:18 AM
Well, that sucks....

/nuthin
 
2004-02-07 12:25:56 AM
He's a sex offender, with a record.
He's gonna do six months in Chino for exposing himself to 14&17-year-olds.
When he moves to Hollywood he'll have to go door-to-door to tell everyone he is a pederast.
 
2004-02-07 12:26:35 AM
Finally. my toe-tasting saviour has revealed itself to the world. There is nothing like one's Lord taking the time to bless your day by showing itself publicly. Hey, is that Jesus in a taco...............
 
2004-02-07 12:29:33 AM
HAHAAH OMG it is teh funie becasue his naem is teh Jesus liek Jesus Chirst!!1! hurr har ahar!!111!one!!1

/idiots
 
2004-02-07 12:30:41 AM
In other news, toejam to replace those crappy unleavened wafers that perpetuate the myth that its body is tangible.
 
2004-02-07 12:31:23 AM
And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross
I'll tell them I found Jesus that should throw them off
He goes by the name Jesus and steals hubcaps from cars
Oh Jesus can I borrow your crowbar?
To pry these God damn nails out they're beginning to hurt
Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" I'll sing as I'm flogged
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God
So vote for me for Savior and you'll go to Heaven
Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin Spacey in "Seven"
With creepy threats of H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick
You just can't teach an old God new tricks
But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem?
If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy?
Just sport some crummy "holier than thou" facade
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God

/bloodhound gang
 
2004-02-07 12:32:19 AM
WWJD? "Suck toes" isn't the obvious answer, but there you have it.
 
2004-02-07 12:33:12 AM
Never has that pic been more appropriate, cscx.

Well played.
 
2004-02-07 12:34:24 AM
cometboy

I didn't realize that they let mongoloids in here. Oh wait, you probably prefer retards, oh wait, i mean mentally challenged. Maybe it was handi-capable..... Ah well, you'll find someplace all your own to call your drool pond. Slow deep breaths sweetie.......
 
2004-02-07 12:37:39 AM
If they outlaw toe sucking, only outlaws will suck toes. Think about that!
 
2004-02-07 12:37:51 AM
i_drank_what

it's called sarcasm.
 
2004-02-07 12:40:33 AM
Rivera also faces misdemeanor charges on suspicion of annoying or molesting children in incidents

It's illegal to annoy a child? hrm.. there go my plans for this weekend.
 
2004-02-07 12:40:37 AM
May as well be called "Hot STFU sold here". I had more fun taking it literally than otherwise. Many thanks........
 
2004-02-07 12:41:11 AM
Wait, annoying children is a crime now?
 
2004-02-07 12:42:57 AM
take this literally: you're an asshole.
 
2004-02-07 12:43:21 AM
Ooh, I just remembered something.

You remember that America's Funniest Home Videos clip where the groom thinks he's sucking his wife's toes and really sucking some other guys toes?

Classic AFV
 
2004-02-07 12:43:25 AM
Not even worth posting. Damn, I just did.
 
2004-02-07 12:44:40 AM
I would have given this an obvious tag.
 
2004-02-07 12:44:41 AM
Impressive, how many neighbors chimed in to help you with that gem? Hugs and kisses wee-one........
 
2004-02-07 12:46:17 AM
Both sides stop.
 
2004-02-07 12:47:17 AM
Everybody sing! "Jesus loves the little children..."
 
2004-02-07 12:47:51 AM
Eeek

So sayeth the sheperd.........

Will do......
 
2004-02-07 12:48:22 AM
I, too, am suspicious of annoying children.
 
2004-02-07 12:49:33 AM
Certainly sheds light on that "He's got the whole world in his hand" song we used to sing in Sunday school.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2004-02-07 12:50:54 AM
I think confusing Merced, California with Cincinnati, OH is insulting to Cincinnati.

And Merced.

Not that anyone else plans on going to either village.
 
2004-02-07 12:52:24 AM
"He" may have the whole world, but that toe fetish thing is really gonna turn off some hard-core churchies......
 
das
2004-02-07 12:52:48 AM
Wasn't there a serial toe sucker back in the late 80's or early 90's??
 
2004-02-07 12:53:48 AM
2004-02-07 12:24:16 AM Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman


Just a question for the submitter....

Since when is Merced, California known as Cincinnati


It's all about the mental repunctuation. The article is from Cincinnati.

Jesus accused of being a toe-sucking teacher in Cincinnati

So the correct interpretation is: In Cincinnati, a newspaper reports that Jesus is accused of being a toe-sucking teacher.
 
2004-02-07 12:54:48 AM
-gasp- You chose a child molestor's jam!!
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2004-02-07 12:58:10 AM
Wasn't there a serial toe sucker back in the late 80's or early 90's??

No, that was a cereal toe sucker. Mikey later died in prison.
 
2004-02-07 12:58:19 AM
Amendment VIII

[b]Excessive bail shall not be required[/b], nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
 
2004-02-07 01:01:03 AM
Ah, goddamn phpBB boards *hands head in shame*

Adding to my previous comment, it stands at allegations, and the fact the accused is openly gay might lead me to believe his accusers have an agenda to push.
 
2004-02-07 01:03:08 AM
So that's what they meant in [bible chapter], [bible verse] when they said [Jesus reference] in the [various location] to the [lame joke that won't end.]

/Apologies
 
2004-02-07 01:03:35 AM
If you do a GIS for "toe sucker" with safesearch off, it brings up a pic of Bill Gates and one of Prince Harry. Someone's a funny bugger.
 
2004-02-07 01:05:01 AM
For the LAST time:

My home city: racism, riots, the Bengals

NOT my home city: foot licking messiahs
 
das
2004-02-07 01:08:48 AM
jbc

At least he liked it.
 
2004-02-07 01:12:47 AM
You know what they call a male high-school student who gets his toes sucked? A willing participant.
 
2004-02-07 01:19:54 AM
That it just strange.
But is it molestation?
 
2004-02-07 01:20:42 AM
2004-02-07 01:05:01 AM delphi_ote


For the LAST time:

My home city: racism, riots, the Bengals

NOT my home city: foot licking messiahs


Advantage: push.

/Props to Nick Bakay(sp).
 
2004-02-07 01:27:00 AM
Submitter should read article before posting
 
Displayed 50 of 73 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report