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(Daily Mail)   Nanny state alleges abuse against foster parent because they: A) hit them, B) starved them, or C) held their hands too tightly as they crossed the road   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 41
    More: Asinine, foster care, social workers  
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5387 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Apr 2014 at 11:58 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-27 08:13:34 PM  
That's outrageous, Subby! How could th-

The children were removed from the couple in Buckinghamshire while social workers investigated 'marks' on the children's wrists.

... I see. Subby, if you're holding your kid's wrist so tightly that it's leaving lasting marks, then yeah, you might have a problem.
 
2014-04-27 09:26:59 PM  
averageparent.com
Problem solved.
 
2014-04-27 09:30:22 PM  

Theaetetus: That's outrageous, Subby! How could th-

The children were removed from the couple in Buckinghamshire while social workers investigated 'marks' on the children's wrists.

... I see. Subby, if you're holding your kid's wrist so tightly that it's leaving lasting marks, then yeah, you might have a problem.


What if you held the child's wrist and they decided to unwisely dash off? Is grabbing their arm as a safe guard to having them run in traffic considered abuse?
I don't know why anyone would get involved with child care right now.
 
2014-04-27 10:38:09 PM  
I am a foster care Social Worker in Washington DC.

Despite 233 children being removed from foster care last year, according to Foster Talk, a company which provides support for foster parents, the majority of allegations are false.

Yeah... Ask the foster parent group.

It is SUCH a pain in the ass to move kids and will cause you grief for months of paper work the setting the kid back in tons of progress. You do not do it on a whim unless you are an idiot, have a personal agenda against that specific foster parent, or as too personally involved with the kid. You also have to get approval from 3-4 people anytime you want to move a kid. Yes some kids make stuff up for lots of reasons but more often they put up with horrible shiat from foster parents because it was better treatment than what they are used to at home OR life is so good at the foster home they will say anything not to go home. If you are living in a big house with your own bed, new clothes when you haven't had any for a year, no bugs crawling on you, food on the shelves and a TV in your room why in the hell would they want to go back?
 
2014-04-28 12:02:24 AM  

fusillade762: Problem solved.


I bought my brother one of those when his first kid tned a year old. It was amazing--kept the kid in line and made everyone happy to not have to ask "Where's shiatpot?"

/We called my godson Shipot until he learned how to speak intelligibly
//We call his infant brother shiatkicker
 
2014-04-28 12:03:41 AM  
Nanny state alleges abuse against foster parent because they. A) Hit them, B) Starved them. C) Held their hands too tightly as they crossed the road

A foster parent was able to hold a nanny state's hands too tightly?  That's unpossible.  But if true, they should try for the nanny state's neck next time.
 
2014-04-28 12:07:35 AM  

Gwendolyn: I am a foster care Social Worker in Washington DC.

Despite 233 children being removed from foster care last year, according to Foster Talk, a company which provides support for foster parents, the majority of allegations are false.

Yeah... Ask the foster parent group.

It is SUCH a pain in the ass to move kids and will cause you grief for months of paper work the setting the kid back in tons of progress. You do not do it on a whim unless you are an idiot, have a personal agenda against that specific foster parent, or as too personally involved with the kid. You also have to get approval from 3-4 people anytime you want to move a kid. Yes some kids make stuff up for lots of reasons but more often they put up with horrible shiat from foster parents because it was better treatment than what they are used to at home OR life is so good at the foster home they will say anything not to go home. If you are living in a big house with your own bed, new clothes when you haven't had any for a year, no bugs crawling on you, food on the shelves and a TV in your room why in the hell would they want to go back?


This is in the UK, tho. A bit different process there.
 
2014-04-28 12:09:06 AM  

trappedspirit: Nanny state alleges abuse against foster parent because they. A) Hit them, B) Starved them. C) Held their hands too tightly as they crossed the road

A foster parent was able to hold a nanny state's hands too tightly?  That's unpossible.  But if true, they should try for the nanny state's neck next time.


I was confused on the "nanny state" reference, as it's in the UK...
 
2014-04-28 12:11:26 AM  
A few weeks ago I was stuck in line at a Goodwill because they had one incompetent cashier. The family of rednecks behind me were a collection of stereotypes. The father was a Homeresque goofball who was easily distracted by shiny objects, the mother was shaped like a puffball mushroom. I'm zoned out on my phone waiting for the line to advance when I hear the father yell "oh god, no!" And run behind the counter, out the door. Their youngest daughter (under three) had wandered out into the street. She wasn't harmed, but the father was followed in by an asian woman who was concerned and bewildered about what to do.

The mother said "How did that happen?" And I simply said "automatic doors".
 
2014-04-28 12:26:25 AM  
I believe tasering the child into place is the solution which will best prepare them for adulthood.
 
2014-04-28 12:37:35 AM  

maram500: fusillade762: Problem solved.

I bought my brother one of those when his first kid tned a year old. It was amazing--kept the kid in line and made everyone happy to not have to ask "Where's shiatpot?"

/We called my godson Shipot until he learned how to speak intelligibly
//We call his infant brother shiatkicker


That right there is farking funny, maram500.  Sounds like something my brother and I would do.  When he had his son, the first thing I asked him was, "How's he hung"?
 
2014-04-28 12:39:20 AM  

Tazandra: trappedspirit: Nanny state alleges abuse against foster parent because they. A) Hit them, B) Starved them. C) Held their hands too tightly as they crossed the road

A foster parent was able to hold a nanny state's hands too tightly?  That's unpossible.  But if true, they should try for the nanny state's neck next time.

I was confused on the "nanny state" reference, as it's in the UK...


So, you have no idea what you are talking about. Try google.
 
2014-04-28 12:47:09 AM  

SpdrJay: I believe tasering the child into place is the solution which will best prepare them for adulthood.


When a boy turns 13, seal him in a barrel and feed him through a knot hole.
When he turns 16, plug up the hole.
- Mark Twain
 
2014-04-28 12:51:27 AM  
No, that's called establishing dominance, and teaching the little shiats to heel.
 
2014-04-28 12:54:23 AM  

Deacon Blue: maram500: fusillade762: Problem solved.

I bought my brother one of those when his first kid tned a year old. It was amazing--kept the kid in line and made everyone happy to not have to ask "Where's shiatpot?"

/We called my godson Shipot until he learned how to speak intelligibly
//We call his infant brother shiatkicker

That right there is farking funny, maram500.  Sounds like something my brother and I would do.  When he had his son, the first thing I asked him was, "How's he hung"?


Appropriate answers include:

-By a mass of tissue out of his mama's cooter, and
-Like a goddamned Cirque due Soleil performer
 
2014-04-28 12:59:31 AM  
Sometimes parents, foster or otherwise, are just a little too overzealous in taking their child's hand.

www.geekdad.fr
 
2014-04-28 01:07:01 AM  

Tazandra: trappedspirit: Nanny state alleges abuse against foster parent because they. A) Hit them, B) Starved them. C) Held their hands too tightly as they crossed the road

A foster parent was able to hold a nanny state's hands too tightly?  That's unpossible.  But if true, they should try for the nanny state's neck next time.

I was confused on the "nanny state" reference, as it's in the UK...


I was confused on the "them" as we are using English, so I thought.
 
2014-04-28 01:09:30 AM  
Foster parents are advised to avoid physical contact with children to prevent any misunderstanding (picture posed by models)

WTF?!

Are these people familiar at all with anything psychiatrists, pediatricians, physicians, anthropologists, the majority of Children's Health Workers and even your Mom and Dad knew? Physical touch is necessary for kids to grow up and have something of a normal chance in life.

Physical touch is essential for adults also. It does wonders psychologically. A hug, a caress, a peck on the cheek, a light tousle of the hair, a pat on the back, holding hands, cuddling and so on. Studies decades old have been done on young monkeys to confirm this. More studies have disclosed the need for physical touch in humans. We have report after report of psychopaths -- the dangerous types -- having a history of little, if any, physical touch in their youth. Lack of touch can lead to a host of mental disorders in adults.

Are these folks nuts, more willing to create a mentally ill adult than weed out the base reasons for any complaints? To turn a kid into a monster?

We have tremendous records of people who lived for long periods in isolation, without touch but with conversation and have noted drastic changes in their mental stability.

The treatment should not kill the patient. You don't raise a kid to be normal by denying them the normal emotional support they need and desire.

Whoever came up with that 'rule' needs to have their arse kicked -- though probably it was created to avoid litigation since people will sue the crap out of each other under any excuse. Go kick the lawyers also.

Try cutting off all physical contact with another human being for a month and then come back and tell me how you liked it. You can talk, but no touching and certainly no sex.

Then think about doing that to a kid who's emotional needs demand a lot of touching in their early years.
 
2014-04-28 01:11:28 AM  
Yeah well. Some of these kids (like my youngest) simply require stiff hand-holding when you cross the road with them. Marks? Well, 'marks' can be anything. It's just innuendo.
 
2014-04-28 01:22:11 AM  
Take 'em away. Those coal mines in Wales don't dig themselves, you know.
 
2014-04-28 01:25:00 AM  

Rik01: Foster parents are advised to avoid physical contact with children to prevent any misunderstanding (picture posed by models)

WTF?!

Are these people familiar at all with anything psychiatrists, pediatricians, physicians, anthropologists, the majority of Children's Health Workers and even your Mom and Dad knew? Physical touch is necessary for kids to grow up and have something of a normal chance in life.

Physical touch is essential for adults also. It does wonders psychologically. A hug, a caress, a peck on the cheek, a light tousle of the hair, a pat on the back, holding hands, cuddling and so on. Studies decades old have been done on young monkeys to confirm this. More studies have disclosed the need for physical touch in humans. We have report after report of psychopaths -- the dangerous types -- having a history of little, if any, physical touch in their youth. Lack of touch can lead to a host of mental disorders in adults.

Are these folks nuts, more willing to create a mentally ill adult than weed out the base reasons for any complaints? To turn a kid into a monster?

We have tremendous records of people who lived for long periods in isolation, without touch but with conversation and have noted drastic changes in their mental stability.

The treatment should not kill the patient. You don't raise a kid to be normal by denying them the normal emotional support they need and desire.

Whoever came up with that 'rule' needs to have their arse kicked -- though probably it was created to avoid litigation since people will sue the crap out of each other under any excuse. Go kick the lawyers also.

Try cutting off all physical contact with another human being for a month and then come back and tell me how you liked it. You can talk, but no touching and certainly no sex.

Then think about doing that to a kid who's emotional needs demand a lot of touching in their early years.


Lots of facts and studies you are mentioning but not citing, never mind the fact that children that end up in the foster system have bigger things to deal with than wether or not they get hugged.
 
2014-04-28 01:34:09 AM  

Rik01: Foster parents are advised to avoid physical contact with children to prevent any misunderstanding (picture posed by models)

WTF?!


 Yeah. I noticed that, too. What a f*cked up world we live in. Or, to be more exact, what a f*cked up, sad and terrible world most poor foster kids live in. I found something which almost brought tears to my eyes:


looneytunes09.files.wordpress.com

Damn.
 
2014-04-28 03:12:32 AM  
When you "EVERYTHING IS BAD FOR THE CHILRINZ!" idiots have finally crawled so far up your ass you can chew your own food twice, try and take a good hard look at what is and isn't detrimental for kids.  I'm gonna go with actual beatings, neglect, lack of any physical affection or food and living in a warehouse as detrimental.
 
2014-04-28 03:27:23 AM  

Rik01: Foster parents are advised to avoid physical contact with children to prevent any misunderstanding (picture posed by models)

WTF?!


It's The Daily Mail. Take it with a dump truck full of salt.
 
2014-04-28 03:52:45 AM  

fusillade762: Rik01: Foster parents are advised to avoid physical contact with children to prevent any misunderstanding (picture posed by models)

WTF?!

It's The Daily Mail. Take it with a dump truck full of salt.


I feel you should know that the first time I read that, I stopped after "dump," and it was considerably funnier.
 
2014-04-28 05:19:15 AM  

fusillade762: Rik01: Foster parents are advised to avoid physical contact with children to prevent any misunderstanding (picture posed by models)

WTF?!

It's The Daily Mail. Take it with a dump truck full of salt.


The phrase is "grain of salt". Increasing the amount of salt doesn't make any sense in the context of that phrase.
 
2014-04-28 05:53:36 AM  

nytmare: fusillade762: Rik01: Foster parents are advised to avoid physical contact with children to prevent any misunderstanding (picture posed by models)

WTF?!

It's The Daily Mail. Take it with a dump truck full of salt.

The phrase is "grain of salt". Increasing the amount of salt doesn't make any sense in the context of that phrase.


If taking it with a grain of salt means being skeptical then taking it with a dump truck full means being even more skeptical. Ipso fatso, it means the same thing, for all intensive purposes.
 
2014-04-28 06:18:35 AM  
Ha figures.... And that's just the tip of that bullshiat iceberg. My wife and i desperately wanted kids dispite her infertility, so we took foster care classes together. Foster care is so full of bullshiat that halfway through the classes we decided we didn't want to do it anymore and it was a waste of our time. Foster care just means you are a highly scrutinized baby sitter and in some cases can't even raise them to your own standards. Example: say you get a baby, mother was sent to prison for doing meth. If momma says "I don't want my baby to have a picifier" then you don't put a paci in the babies mouth and get caught, that'd be an arrestin. True story. And foster care is chock full of crap like that. My recommendation? Skip the whole foster care step and just adopt, alot less headache in the long run.
 
2014-04-28 06:35:31 AM  

chitownmike: Tazandra: trappedspirit: Nanny state alleges abuse against foster parent because they. A) Hit them, B) Starved them. C) Held their hands too tightly as they crossed the road

A foster parent was able to hold a nanny state's hands too tightly?  That's unpossible.  But if true, they should try for the nanny state's neck next time.

I was confused on the "nanny state" reference, as it's in the UK...

So, you have no idea what you are talking about. Try google.


...Wow. I was referring to the overuse of "nanny state" in reference of New York ... where the phrase has been overused based on decisions to limit size of soft drinks, etc..

But let's just be rude douchenipples, instead. Why not.
 
2014-04-28 08:08:47 AM  

fusillade762: nytmare: fusillade762: Rik01: Foster parents are advised to avoid physical contact with children to prevent any misunderstanding (picture posed by models)

WTF?!

It's The Daily Mail. Take it with a dump truck full of salt.

The phrase is "grain of salt". Increasing the amount of salt doesn't make any sense in the context of that phrase.

If taking it with a grain of salt means being skeptical then taking it with a dump truck full means being even more skeptical. Ipso fatso, it means the same thing, for all intensive purposes.


Yeah. He should of been able to figure that out. Dump truck > then a grain.
 
2014-04-28 08:15:36 AM  
Subby's headline is confusing... The Nanny state alleges that it abused foster parents by holding their hands too tightly?
 
2014-04-28 09:13:28 AM  

trappedspirit: Tazandra: trappedspirit: Nanny state alleges abuse against foster parent because they. A) Hit them, B) Starved them. C) Held their hands too tightly as they crossed the road

A foster parent was able to hold a nanny state's hands too tightly?  That's unpossible.  But if true, they should try for the nanny state's neck next time.

I was confused on the "nanny state" reference, as it's in the UK...

I was confused on the "them" as we are using English, so I thought.


Lol I like your version better ... :)
 
2014-04-28 10:02:08 AM  
Rik01 [TotalFark]
>>>Foster parents are advised to avoid physical contact with children to prevent any
>>>misunderstanding (picture posed by models)

WTF?!

...

Are these folks nuts,

Yes they are insane. As nuts as dowsers, mediums, and chiropractors.
 
2014-04-28 10:03:08 AM  

Theaetetus: That's outrageous, Subby! How could th-

The children were removed from the couple in Buckinghamshire while social workers investigated 'marks' on the children's wrists.

... I see. Subby, if you're holding your kid's wrist so tightly that it's leaving lasting marks, then yeah, you might have a problem.


Agreed, although it could be legit--the kid trying to get away.
 
2014-04-28 10:12:57 AM  
Stories like this are why I'd never touch or physically intervene with a kid not my own.

Go ahead; run into the street, drink poison, taunt that dog, throw stuff in the store. As an adult male it's not worth the public's insane over-reaction at me touching you or pulling you away to stop you from damaging property,hurting yourself, or getting killed. Why didn't I stop him? I didn't want some child-attacker / pedo-bear arrest beef to deal with. That's just how it is.
 
2014-04-28 10:37:12 AM  

iron de havilland: fusillade762: nytmare: fusillade762: Rik01: Foster parents are advised to avoid physical contact with children to prevent any misunderstanding (picture posed by models)

WTF?!

It's The Daily Mail. Take it with a dump truck full of salt.

The phrase is "grain of salt". Increasing the amount of salt doesn't make any sense in the context of that phrase.

If taking it with a grain of salt means being skeptical then taking it with a dump truck full means being even more skeptical. Ipso fatso, it means the same thing, for all intensive purposes.

Yeah. He should of been able to figure that out. Dump truck > then a grain.


Irregardless, let's not get off topic.
 
2014-04-28 11:05:26 AM  

GregInIndy: Stories like this are why I'd never touch or physically intervene with a kid not my own.

Go ahead; run into the street, drink poison, taunt that dog, throw stuff in the store. As an adult male it's not worth the public's insane over-reaction at me touching you or pulling you away to stop you from damaging property,hurting yourself, or getting killed. Why didn't I stop him? I didn't want some child-attacker / pedo-bear arrest beef to deal with. That's just how it is.


I ditto this. Sorry, kids, but your parents are whacked and, therefor, you are on your own. It is sad that it has to be this way, but it absolutely must.
 
2014-04-28 11:32:45 AM  
Despite 233 children being removed from foster care last year, according to Foster Talk, a company which provides support for foster parents, the majority of allegations are false.

You know, that's a really really low number when you consider how many kids there are in foster homes. That only 0.34% of Foster Kids, many of whom have issues going into foster care, get removed from homes should be viewed as a massive success story in a vetting process that leads to high quality and dedicated Foster Parents.

Either that or Social Services is back to dropping the ball in a lot of serious cases like with Victoria Climbie, Baby P and the Islington Council Pedophile Scandal.
 
2014-04-28 01:35:47 PM  
chitownmike

Rik01: (snip) Then think about doing that to a kid who's emotional needs demand a lot of touching in their early years.{end}

Lots of facts and studies you are mentioning but not citing, never mind the fact that children that end up in the foster system have bigger things to deal with than wether or not they get hugged.


After decades of reading medical and psychological reports (I worked in both fields) it gets kinda hard to quote specifics. So, here's a quick Google link to just one of several pages concerning the topic of touch.

Link

It's been proven time and time again that kids and adults, even with a host of other, seemingly more serious problems, will respond better if physical contact is involved. During crisis, those people who survived horrible conditions usually had others, often in the same straits, to exchange physical contact with.

Think about the old images of two people hugging each other in fear. Consider the reaction of captured animals often grouping together, body to body, in a cage. There are many images of monkeys clinging to each other, especially young ones, when placed in a new, strange environment.

Physical touch is a psychological necessity. (Having absolutely nothing to do with sex.)

For a child, with their still forming brains and cognitive abilities, this becomes even more important. I assume you've heard phrases like 'the healing touch'.

There's a lot more, but going into it will become a diatribe and the average attention span here is about a paragraph.
 
2014-04-28 11:37:05 PM  

Gwendolyn: I am a foster care Social Worker in Washington DC.


I'm not sure I believe you.

Despite 233 children being removed from foster care last year, according to Foster Talk, a company which provides support for foster parents, the majority of allegations are false.

Yeah... Ask the foster parent group.


Ok, that does unfortunately sound like quite a few social workers - disdain for the the foster parents, the people in the system who actually do all the hard work. The quoted statement above is mostly true - the vast majority of all allegations made against foster parents are false.  However, they are never actually found to be "false".  The best that you can ever hope for is "unsubstantiated".  Doesn't have the same secure ring to it as "false", does it, if you are in the foster parent's shoes?

It is SUCH a pain in the ass to move kids and will cause you grief for months of paper work the setting the kid back in tons of progress. You do not do it on a whim unless you are an idiot, have a personal agenda against that specific foster parent, or as too personally involved with the kid. You also have to get approval from 3-4 people anytime you want to move a kid. Yes some kids make stuff up for lots of reasons but more often they put up with horrible shiat from foster parents because it was better treatment than what they are used to at home OR life is so good at the foster home they will say anything not to go home. If you are living in a big house with your own bed, new clothes when you haven't had any for a year, no bugs crawling on you, food on the shelves and a TV in your room why in the hell would they want to go back?

This is the part of your post that makes me doubt your statement that you work in foster care.

Kids in foster care are moved all the time.  Constantly.  So often that each kid that has been in the system any length of time comes to your door with a scrapbook called a "life book".  Life books exist because they are the only way for a kid in the system to have some sense of continuity as they bounce from home to home, from one poorly planned, badly supported placement to another.  And so the life book fills with pictures and scribbles from one home after another, each set of pages covering anything from a few weeks to a few months.

The foster system moves kids in an instant, without warning, a soon as they think they want to.  It's probably a bit better when dealing direct with a county/government agency.  If you are fostering through a private foster agency, they are brutal about limiting their liability and moving kids from home to home within their agency at the first sign of any issue they can't be bothered to deal with properly.

Do some kids end up putting up with bad situations in foster placements? Yup, I am sure it happens.  There are some pretty bad foster parents out there, many of them made by the system desperate to find a place to house the kids.  The good foster parents don't last very long unfortunately, when the system teaches you very quickly that the one thing, the only thing you must never, ever do, is actually care for the wellbeing of the kids that are placed with you.

Your screed about kids lying to stay with foster parents because they have such a better deal than they had back home with the bio's is horrifying, if you really are a social worker.  It portrays an absolute lack of any understanding of the emotional state of a child in care, of a child who has been removed from their parents.  Kids can be pulled from the worst, most horrendous cases of abuse and cry bitter tears longing to be returned to their families.  Its one of the toughest things to work a foster kid through, their desire to be reunited with their biological family, when that may never happen, and is probably not in their best interests.

I have no idea what you thought you were typing.  I can tell you it was the most insulting, anger inducing piece of text that I have ever read as a foster parent.

Well, Ex foster parent.  No one can do that job for long.  (See the one rule, above).
 
2014-04-28 11:41:02 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: Rik01: Foster parents are advised to avoid physical contact with children to prevent any misunderstanding (picture posed by models)

WTF?!

 Yeah. I noticed that, too. What a f*cked up world we live in. Or, to be more exact, what a f*cked up, sad and terrible world most poor foster kids live in. I found something which almost brought tears to my eyes:


[looneytunes09.files.wordpress.com image 320x200]

Damn.


Been there, done that, cried those tears. Actually my wife and I regularly used to go buy duffel bags for the kids we had, because yeah, your life in a trash bag is a little degrading.
 
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