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(Today)   Fake meat producer would prefer you not call his fake meat "fake meat." It's not fake meat, it's just not made from animals. Fake meat   (today.com ) divider line
    More: Unlikely, shmeat, farms, tastes like chicken  
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2450 clicks; posted to Business » on 27 Apr 2014 at 6:48 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-27 03:46:46 PM  
Faux Flesh?  Muscle Mimic?  Tofurky?
 
2014-04-27 04:05:02 PM  
How about simulated meat?
 
2014-04-27 04:14:50 PM  
AstroMeat?
NaugaMeat?
 
2014-04-27 04:38:19 PM  
HoloMeat:  Looks like meat and might even smell like meat but it is not real and has not true substance.
 
2014-04-27 04:40:23 PM  
Another possibility is VAG (pronounced vaj)

Tastes like chicken but has not meat
 
2014-04-27 05:00:45 PM  
It is highly amusing to see people complain with abject horror about lab grown meat, and then cheerfully munch down on a McDonald's hamburger or a Hot Pocket.
 
2014-04-27 05:39:52 PM  
If it tastes good and costs less than real meat people will buy it. Which will be a good thing in the long run since only about 3% of the calories used to feed cows ends up in your burger.
 
2014-04-27 06:27:53 PM  

vartian: It is highly amusing to see people complain with abject horror about lab grown meat, and then cheerfully munch down on a McDonald's hamburger or a Hot Pocket.


Lab grown meat is an abomination onto The Lord. Mechanically separated lips and assholes are free market ingenuity at it's best. Waste not want not.
 
2014-04-27 06:53:48 PM  
How can you have any fake pudding if you don't eat yer fake meat?
 
2014-04-27 06:59:00 PM  
Meaf™
 
2014-04-27 07:06:31 PM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Meaf™


Another fine product from Almosta Farm!

Seriously, though, if a passable chicken substitute can be produced for less footprint & cost than chicken farming, I'm on board.
 
2014-04-27 07:10:35 PM  
Is "faux meat" really any more off-putting than "TVP"? TVP sounds like a disorder of some sort, or at least one of those quiet taxes...
 
2014-04-27 07:13:16 PM  
FTA

"I just completely disagree with that. It is an assembly of amino acids, fats and water that is just like what you get out of an animal, so in my view, it is meat."

I will have to kindly disagree with this assessment and directly state that if it never, at any point, had a face, then it is NOT meat.


other wise, just call it imitation meat,  or Meat+
 
2014-04-27 07:14:43 PM  
I'm not a vegetarian, but I lean that way. And I've always thought faux meat is silly, when plants are already so delicious.

But there's a vegetarian restaurant on my block where most entrees are faux-beef, or faux -chicken or faux -pork. And it's GREAT!

The place has been crowded since it opened a couple of years ago. I was pleasantly surprised.

/ CSB
 
2014-04-27 07:28:10 PM  
Spim?
Meef?
 
2014-04-27 07:42:27 PM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Meaf™


Best served with Malk.
 
2014-04-27 07:57:26 PM  
It tastes like despair.
 
2014-04-27 07:58:18 PM  

grimlock1972: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Meaf™

Best served with Malk.


There's a product called Silk Soy Milk. I always thought it should have a Wacky Packages sticker: "Sick Sow Milk"
 
2014-04-27 08:18:57 PM  
I'm gonna go with feat. It's like meat, but it tastes like sweaty feet.
 
2014-04-27 08:19:43 PM  
S'meat
 
2014-04-27 08:19:56 PM  
It's no big secret. Most of these vegetarian and vegan meat alternative products do not actually taste very much like the real thing. I've tried my fair share of them, so I know this for a fact. That doesn't mean they don't taste good, some of them are very tasty, but if you're expecting the real thing, then you're going to be disappointed. It's like craving chocolate, but having to contend with a Tootsie Roll or Hersey's.

The products that, to my taste buds, are virtual indistinguishable from the real thing are the veggie corn dogs and corn dog nuggets. Second place goes to the chicken pattie products, though, I can tell the difference I admit the veggie version is a decent approximation.

The worse are the veggie sausage and veggie bacon. Ugh. Disgusting stuff. These products are nothing like the real thing, and in fact, they perfectly mimic salty cardboard that's been soaked in sugar and liquid smoke.

All that being said, these kinds of things are really just crutches for people transitioning to vegetarian or vegan cuisine, and/or an occasional "analog" for when company is coming or they're going to a cook out. Most of the vegans and vegetarians I know who have been that way for awhile don't eat the meatless meat substitute products very often.
 
2014-04-27 08:23:28 PM  

K3rmy: Another possibility is VAG (pronounced vaj)

Tastes like chicken but has not meat


"Ugh, this smells like fish. You rinsed it before cooking, right?"
 
2014-04-27 08:25:42 PM  
Anyone remember the marketing buzz about Quorn?
 
2014-04-27 08:27:15 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-27 08:44:10 PM  
MrHappyRotter: 

The worse are the veggie sausage and veggie bacon. Ugh. Disgusting stuff. These products are nothing like the real thing, and in fact, they perfectly mimic salty cardboard that's been soaked in sugar and liquid smoke.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXhJPey3i_A
 
2014-04-27 08:57:21 PM  
Fake chicken would be fine for stir fries and other dishes where you aren't really interested in the feel of the bone, or the wing, or the subtleties of a fine heirloom breed. Most of the stuff we use chicken for uses the chicken to add protein and a little flavor, and you don't really spend a lot of time thinking about the taste. I've heard good things about recent fake chicken production - and if it's cheap and reduces ecological footprint, I'm all in favor of it.
 
2014-04-27 09:05:40 PM  

captainktainer: Fake chicken would be fine for stir fries and other dishes where you aren't really interested in the feel of the bone, or the wing, or the subtleties of a fine heirloom breed. Most of the stuff we use chicken for uses the chicken to add protein and a little flavor, and you don't really spend a lot of time thinking about the taste. I've heard good things about recent fake chicken production - and if it's cheap and reduces ecological footprint, I'm all in favor of it.


Ah jesus christ dude. That outlook is why every restaurant shovels mayonnaise on every sandwich and turkey burgers are actually every-sauce-we-have burgers with a side of turkey. It's bullshiat. Meat tastes good.
 
2014-04-27 10:18:27 PM  
I can't believe it's not meat (tm)
 
2014-04-27 10:26:37 PM  

moothemagiccow: Ah jesus christ dude. That outlook is why every restaurant shovels mayonnaise on every sandwich and turkey burgers are actually every-sauce-we-have burgers with a side of turkey. It's bullshiat. Meat tastes good.


Here's the reality: Most chicken is pretty bland and tasteless. We use it as cheap animal protein. There's no reason chicken nuggets need to be chicken. Meat tastes good, which is why I will never be a vegetarian, but when so much of a meat is mediocre there's no reason not to substitute it with a plant product that uses far fewer resources and apparently tastes just the same.

If you want to really enjoy a meal and take your time, there will never be a substitute for delicious hot wings or a glorious roast chicken. But that isn't the kind of meal that most chicken is going toward, and there's no reason to have towering stacks of salmonellic ghastly factory farms  just for everyday protein when we can use the plants instead.
 
2014-04-27 10:44:18 PM  
A ReelMeet sandwich on fresh Bredd, with a cup of Coffiest.
 
2014-04-27 11:01:15 PM  
What I want to know is how many grams of non-fiber carbs in a serving.

/bet I'll go looking for actual dead animal
 
2014-04-27 11:02:30 PM  
As an omnivore, I'm not much interested in making my vegetables taste like meat. No one has researched or marketed an animal that tastes like vegetables, so why vice versa?
 
2014-04-27 11:19:55 PM  

captainktainer: moothemagiccow: Ah jesus christ dude. That outlook is why every restaurant shovels mayonnaise on every sandwich and turkey burgers are actually every-sauce-we-have burgers with a side of turkey. It's bullshiat. Meat tastes good.

Here's the reality: Most chicken is pretty bland and tasteless. We use it as cheap animal protein. There's no reason chicken nuggets need to be chicken. Meat tastes good, which is why I will never be a vegetarian, but when so much of a meat is mediocre there's no reason not to substitute it with a plant product that uses far fewer resources and apparently tastes just the same.

If you want to really enjoy a meal and take your time, there will never be a substitute for delicious hot wings or a glorious roast chicken. But that isn't the kind of meal that most chicken is going toward, and there's no reason to have towering stacks of salmonellic ghastly factory farms  just for everyday protein when we can use the plants instead.


If meat is tasteless, you're doing it farking WRONG.

I'm sorry to be the one that breaks this to you. But meat isn't tasteless unless a moron, retard, or clueless farkwit is doing the preparing. Proper cooks know how to make meat of almost any stripe damn tasty.
 
2014-04-27 11:43:09 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: A ReelMeet sandwich on fresh Bredd, with a cup of Coffiest.


That is most likely the future of processed food for the masses.

/not going to comply with that either
 
2014-04-28 12:06:34 AM  
It's only meat if you can taste the slaughter.
 
2014-04-28 12:30:31 AM  
a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2014-04-28 12:43:43 AM  
Thatwasntchickenfortunecookie.jpg
 
2014-04-28 12:45:05 AM  

xaks: captainktainer: moothemagiccow: Ah jesus christ dude. That outlook is why every restaurant shovels mayonnaise on every sandwich and turkey burgers are actually every-sauce-we-have burgers with a side of turkey. It's bullshiat. Meat tastes good.

Here's the reality: Most chicken is pretty bland and tasteless. We use it as cheap animal protein. There's no reason chicken nuggets need to be chicken. Meat tastes good, which is why I will never be a vegetarian, but when so much of a meat is mediocre there's no reason not to substitute it with a plant product that uses far fewer resources and apparently tastes just the same.

If you want to really enjoy a meal and take your time, there will never be a substitute for delicious hot wings or a glorious roast chicken. But that isn't the kind of meal that most chicken is going toward, and there's no reason to have towering stacks of salmonellic ghastly factory farms  just for everyday protein when we can use the plants instead.

If meat is tasteless, you're doing it farking WRONG.

I'm sorry to be the one that breaks this to you. But meat isn't tasteless unless a moron, retard, or clueless farkwit is doing the preparing. Proper cooks know how to make meat of almost any stripe damn tasty.


Chicken is tasteless.  It only tastes like whatever you put on it.  His point is since that's the case then all the is required is that the receiving entity of said spices and flavoring be an acceptable medium for it.  Hence fake meat should do just fine for most chicken dishes since they don't really taste...well....like chicken.  They taste like whatever you add to the chicken.
 
2014-04-28 12:57:55 AM  
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

Who cares if it's fake?  As long as it doesn't cause loose stool, I'm good.
 
2014-04-28 01:04:36 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: As an omnivore, I'm not much interested in making my vegetables taste like meat. No one has researched or marketed an animal that tastes like vegetables, so why vice versa?


Some people for health reasons, religious reasons, etc. don't eat meat, not because they are against the taste but because of a health issue or religious belief, Some of them actually wish they could eat actual meat but can't, while others want the flavor without the ethical/moral baggage that they perceive comes with actual meat.

There are enough of such people that there is a very, very large market for meat substitute products. If you ever have major gastro-intestinal issues, you could yet become one of them -- you would miss the meat you love so much, you'd be willing to accept a substitute (perhaps).

There's no market for meat that tastes like vegetables, because other than occasional allergies, people who want the flavor of vegetables can eat them, no moral or health issues in question.

Not so complicated, really.
 
2014-04-28 02:27:55 AM  

jaytkay: I'm not a vegetarian, but I lean that way. And I've always thought faux meat is silly, when plants are already so delicious.

But there's a vegetarian restaurant on my block where most entrees are faux-beef, or faux -chicken or faux -pork. And it's GREAT!

The place has been crowded since it opened a couple of years ago. I was pleasantly surprised.

/ CSB


You know what's also great? Actual meat. No special technology and processing required. Actually, come to think of it, aren't veggie types normally also in the "no processed food!" camp as well? Or am I mixing hippy tribes? I guess it's OK to process the living shiat out of some food if you're trying to imitate good food?

Anyhow, I highly doubt this guy's processed frankenfood has the texture and juices of a nice thick steak, so he can go fark himself.
 
2014-04-28 02:45:42 AM  
"It's a meat process."
-- Buffy the Vampire Slayer
 
2014-04-28 03:35:38 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: As an omnivore, I'm not much interested in making my vegetables taste like meat. No one has researched or marketed an animal that tastes like vegetables, so why vice versa?


Why the hell would you raise an animal that tastes like a vegetable when it's going to end up costing ten times more and using ten times the resources than actually growing a vegetable??
 
2014-04-28 03:41:27 AM  
He calls it the Tomeato
www.dilbertcelart.com
 
2014-04-28 03:48:26 AM  

That Guy Jeff: You know what's also great? Actual meat. No special technology and processing required. Actually, come to think of it, aren't veggie types normally also in the "no processed food!" camp as well? Or am I mixing hippy tribes? I guess it's OK to process the living shiat out of some food if you're trying to imitate good food?

Anyhow, I highly doubt this guy's processed frankenfood has the texture and juices of a nice thick steak, so he can go fark himself.


I'm glad I don't seethe over trivial things like other people's menus. Being angry and hateful like that can't be pleasant.
 
2014-04-28 04:06:47 AM  
Since it is high protein, I approve.

/Visualizing whirled peas.
 
2014-04-28 04:08:58 AM  
"A key ingredient comes from a pea extract"

Don't know why I read that as pee extract
 
2014-04-28 05:22:13 AM  
You can shove your fake steak up your arse, Bill... put it right next to Vista. If my bacon comes from anything other than a pig, I'll cut your dick off, and that will be real meat. Right next to Vista as well. Here's an idea; make fake peas from veal. Think of all those poor peas that won't have to suffer.

/shakes meaty fist
 
2014-04-28 06:01:55 AM  
Made mainly from pea protein?

Their commercials need to advertise the fact that the product is full of green pea-ness.
 
2014-04-28 06:44:51 AM  

jaytkay: That Guy Jeff: You know what's also great? Actual meat. No special technology and processing required. Actually, come to think of it, aren't veggie types normally also in the "no processed food!" camp as well? Or am I mixing hippy tribes? I guess it's OK to process the living shiat out of some food if you're trying to imitate good food?

Anyhow, I highly doubt this guy's processed frankenfood has the texture and juices of a nice thick steak, so he can go fark himself.

I'm glad I don't seethe over trivial things like other people's menus. Being angry and hateful like that can't be pleasant.


Somebody has to be 'that guy'. It's somewhere in Fark rules.
 
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