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(USA Today)   Study finds that, during sex, 43% of all men have an orgasm within two minutes. Chin up, dear Farker, I know that seems like an eternity, but there are exercises you can do   (usatoday.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, New Republic, Alfred Kinsey, exercises, Dr Harry  
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7451 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Apr 2014 at 6:36 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



167 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-27 04:56:02 PM  
In before every Farker alive claims they're long lasting marathon men in their hand, whoops, I mean in the sack.
 
2014-04-27 05:17:04 PM  
Sex is a destination, not a journey.
 
2014-04-27 05:33:37 PM  
Two minutes? I wish I could last that long.
 
2014-04-27 05:36:13 PM  
theinfosphere.org
 
2014-04-27 05:57:42 PM  
You mean I'm not supposed to be trying to get a personal best time??
 
2014-04-27 06:39:33 PM  
just rub one out about 3 hours before going out :)
 
2014-04-27 06:40:33 PM  
Fap fap................................................................... ..
 
2014-04-27 06:40:35 PM  
yeah, but 2 min later, i can do it again.
 
2014-04-27 06:41:02 PM  
or keep this mental image handy when you feel an orgasm coming on

fc06.deviantart.net
 
2014-04-27 06:41:03 PM  
Nurse: So, what's your sperm count again?
Me: About two minutes, max.
 
2014-04-27 06:41:36 PM  

Hobodeluxe: just rub one out about 3 hours before going out :)


Which, we all know, could lead to this:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-27 06:42:47 PM  
Yeah, but by the time I finally dip my wick I've made her cum several times already in various out her ways.
 
2014-04-27 06:43:32 PM  
Other ways, I mean

/thank you autocorrect
 
2014-04-27 06:43:36 PM  
Fishing with grandpa. Fishing with grandpa. Fi...shing...wi...wi...gr...oh...

...GRAANNDPAAAAAAAAAA!

(rolls over)

Crap.
 
2014-04-27 06:43:41 PM  

Solid State Vittles: In before every Farker alive claims they're long lasting marathon men in their hand, whoops, I mean in the sack.


No, all those people are in the big penis thread a few down. They'll be hear shortly once they finish proclaiming the massiveness of their members to anonymous strangers on the Internet who don't believe them anyway.
 
2014-04-27 06:43:52 PM  
Is that after penetration? Because there's like 5-15 minutes of stuff before that. But yeah, two minutes once I'm in is about right. Same for her; we usually come within ten seconds of each other. Whatevs.
 
2014-04-27 06:44:13 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Yeah, but by the time I finally dip my wick I've made her cum several times already in various out her ways.


img.fark.net
 
2014-04-27 06:46:20 PM  
Listening to music can double your time, apparently.

everythingfunny.org
 
2014-04-27 06:46:43 PM  
... God damn it.
 
2014-04-27 06:48:20 PM  
Thinking about greasy eggs and baseball adds about 15 seconds for me. Hopefully she is already there.
 
2014-04-27 06:48:29 PM  
In other news, 43% of men have never masturbated.

/I'm not sure which statistic I find less believable
//Seriously, I refuse to accept that these studies are accurate
///What is the point of 2 minute sex?
 
2014-04-27 06:48:49 PM  

Hobodeluxe: just rub one out about 3 hours before going out :)


this.
 
2014-04-27 06:48:55 PM  
True, but I'm still good afterwards and can get another after an hour or so. Even after that things are still going strong but I start to get a little bored...
 
2014-04-27 06:50:03 PM  
Tantric sex is just better.
 
2014-04-27 06:50:17 PM  
I knew I was good at sex from the start. First time, I came.
 
2014-04-27 06:51:58 PM  
Practice pinching off when you pee to strengthen your PC muscle and last longer in bed.
 
2014-04-27 06:53:10 PM  
Women take 2 hours in the bathroom, 3 hours to change.

Men, we don't care. Piss on the seat, dirty t-shirt. Just get the job done. We are about efficiency. 

If orgasms were publicly traded companies, women would be Neiman Marcus and Prada. Men are Walmart and Big Lots. The product may be crappy, but we sure meet our sales figures
 
2014-04-27 06:54:15 PM  
Also, DNRTFA. I saw the word "orgasm" and had to go make one of my own. See, even my post was made poorly to meet sales expectations.
 
2014-04-27 06:54:28 PM  
So I can exercise more to shoot less? Fark that!
 
2014-04-27 06:54:40 PM  
Tenga:First time, I came.

First time I came I thought I broke the f*cking thing.
 
2014-04-27 06:55:29 PM  
In all seriousness: i WISH.

Sometimes u just want quickie..lasting 20-30 minutes all the time prevents that.

/thank you Lexapro.
 
2014-04-27 06:55:34 PM  

Hobodeluxe: or keep this mental image handy when you feel an orgasm coming on

[fc06.deviantart.net image 850x637]


She already has the eye patch from that last moneys shiat.
 
2014-04-27 06:55:48 PM  

unyon: You mean I'm not supposed to be trying to get a personal best time??


Now that's what I call a tool assisted speedrun.
 
2014-04-27 06:59:19 PM  

Solid State Vittles: In before every Farker alive claims they're long lasting marathon men in their hand, whoops, I mean in the sack.


She's only good for one round so a marathon session is out of the question.  That being said it's a lot longer than two minutes.
 
2014-04-27 07:00:40 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Yeah, but by the time I finally dip my wick I've made her cum several times already in various out her ways.


Thank Christ, because you apparently can't do anything thing with the wick.
 
2014-04-27 07:02:45 PM  
Refractory period, people, refractory period.
 
2014-04-27 07:02:47 PM  
www.i-mockery.com
I'm getting better.
 
2014-04-27 07:02:50 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Yeah, but by the time I finally dip my wick I've made her cum several times already in various out her ways.


She's supposed to come?
 
2014-04-27 07:04:23 PM  

Delta1212: In other news, 43% of men have never masturbated.

/I'm not sure which statistic I find less believable
//Seriously, I refuse to accept that these studies are accurate
///What is the point of 2 minute sex?


Or at least need to masturbate more often.

Of course, seeing as a lot of people are just dumb assholes who are completely inconsiderate of others, men taking what they want and being done isn't a huge surprise.

And that's not a feminist argument in the slightest, it's based on biology in that it's easy for a man to climax, so easy it can happen in our sleep. Women can be just as big of an asshole character, but it tends to happen in other social events.
 
2014-04-27 07:04:38 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Sex is a destination, not a journey.


If you're married long enough, sex is Mission Impossible.
 
2014-04-27 07:05:15 PM  
And men wonder why women would prefer vibrators and dildos to actual sex sometimes...
 
2014-04-27 07:08:12 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Other ways, I mean

/thank you autocorrect


It worked fine the other way too.
 
2014-04-27 07:10:00 PM  

Loren: She's only good for one round so a marathon session is out of the question.


True for me as well.  I have no idea if I'm normal this way or not, but I definitely have a refractory period, too.  One orgasm in about a 12-18 hour period (depending on myriad factors).   Never multiple.  After that, I'm far too sensitive or sore to keep going.

/mono-orgasmic slut
 
2014-04-27 07:10:11 PM  
Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)
 
2014-04-27 07:10:44 PM  
but there are exercises you can do

Learn how to eat pussy?
 
2014-04-27 07:12:00 PM  
Why do humans obsess over things like this?  Check out domestic breeding livestock.  Stallions are done in about 20 second, bulls even less.  Rams go from jump up to step away in 10 seconds or less.  Boars are the only one on the farm with any stamina - they can go several minutes.

The thing is that humans are one of the very few species that have the capability to engage in recreational sex.  Wouldn't it make sense that the recreation part include a whole lot of stuff besides actual penetration?  If the partner is important enough to you, you'll do whatever it takes, either before or after you "get yours" to make certain it's enjoyable for him or her.
 
2014-04-27 07:12:41 PM  

GRCooper: Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)


Yep. Happened once a few months after i started taking lexapro.

It was kinda wierd.
 
2014-04-27 07:14:54 PM  
Apparently some of you farkers are pretty lame.
Go and buy a lobster. Save the bands.
Serve lobster to wench. Reuse bands.

'cause I know you're cheap, just serve broccoli as the vegi of choice.  Reuse bands.

You want to fark like a porn star?  Lidocaine  jelly. Topical  anesthetic + nerve blocker.

Some sorry ass motherfarkers.
 
2014-04-27 07:15:35 PM  
My lasting time is all over the clock. It seems possible it's been under 2 minutes at times, with appropriate foreplay or if it's an established quicky and I'm turned on enough/have been waiting long enough. Other times it's like an hour plus. Mostly it fluctuates around 10, 20 mins I'd guess. All I know is most of the time she has climaxed several times all over my dick and is telling me to shoot it all over her. So that's probably a good thing. Variety is key. Sometimes it's fine if the guy pops off really fast but it shouldn't be habitual. It should be according to the situation. Context matters. Routine is boring.
 
2014-04-27 07:16:07 PM  

Delta1212: In other news, 43% of men have never masturbated.

/I'm not sure which statistic I find less believable
//Seriously, I refuse to accept that these studies are accurate
///What is the point of 2 minute sex?


2 minute sex is what finishes 10-45 minutes of fooling around.
 
2014-04-27 07:17:05 PM  

The more you eat the more you fart: GRCooper: Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)

Yep. Happened once a few months after i started taking lexapro.

It was kinda wierd.


Yah, weird. Kinda freaked me out. I wasn't taking anything, drug wise.
 
2014-04-27 07:18:02 PM  
Every man is different, but I'll let you in on a little secret.   If you polish the bishop at just the right interval beforehand, you'll be able to perform but you'll last a long time.   Too long of an interval between sex and you'll get too sensitive.    Too short and you may have troubles keeping it up.

Timing is everything, start with two evenings beforehand and see how it goes.  If you do it right you can last as long as you want.   A lot of women take quite a while to orgasm even with lots of foreplay but they'll love you for it.   I've had a few that are more sensitive but they are the exception rather than the rule.
 
2014-04-27 07:18:11 PM  
And what they just stop? Don't guys have hands too?
 
2014-04-27 07:18:11 PM  
Two mins is a long time to hold your breath so compared to some things my body can do, that's an eternity.
 
2014-04-27 07:18:32 PM  

GRCooper: Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)


I do the opposite. Orgasm with no ejaculate. It's mostly mental I guess, and I get to keep going and finish for real. Sometimes it happens more than twice before I finally pop. It's like having multiple orgasms. I'm a total woman.

/If I did what you experienced I would be very concerned.
 
2014-04-27 07:18:55 PM  

FizixJunkee: And men wonder why women would prefer vibrators and dildos to actual sex sometimes...


When you stipulate "sometimes" well, no. No men think it's weird for a woman to masturbate with an electric device SOME of the time.
 
2014-04-27 07:19:29 PM  
Whiskey Dick.... problem solved.
 
2014-04-27 07:23:06 PM  

GRCooper: The more you eat the more you fart: GRCooper: Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)

Yep. Happened once a few months after i started taking lexapro.

It was kinda wierd.

Yah, weird. Kinda freaked me out. I wasn't taking anything, drug wise.


Well...all i can say is that at first, i kinda went "okay..what just happened?" Then she looked up at me and asked if everything was okay due to a lack of "yippee" reaction.

She didnt complain except to say it took muuch longer than normal and her jaw was starting to hurt.
 
2014-04-27 07:25:45 PM  

GRCooper: Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)


A couple of times. It was really weird. Glad it's not common.
 
2014-04-27 07:26:22 PM  
d1mxyp5ceukbya.cloudfront.net
 
2014-04-27 07:28:08 PM  
Billy Connelly recommended saying the 9x table in your head

He said he once got to 81 and did a victory lap round the bed
 
2014-04-27 07:29:28 PM  

GRCooper: Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)


SRS answer, I don't think so.  However I have had a maybe '1 spurt' release where stuff definitely didn't just ooze out, but it wasn't in the quantity or feeling of a typical orgasm for me.
 
2014-04-27 07:30:43 PM  
Whatever, all I know is this 52 year old ALWAYS have and still do NOT lose my erection after orgasm. My stupid girlfriend tells her girlfriends about this 'amazing trick'. Creates awkward situations when 'they wanna see it". I've let a few.
 
2014-04-27 07:31:17 PM  
I'm a little concerned as to who was holding the stopwatch
 
2014-04-27 07:31:21 PM  

harlock: Every man is different, but I'll let you in on a little secret.   If you polish the bishop at just the right interval beforehand, you'll be able to perform but you'll last a long time.   Too long of an interval between sex and you'll get too sensitive.    Too short and you may have troubles keeping it up.

Timing is everything, start with two evenings beforehand and see how it goes.  If you do it right you can last as long as you want.   A lot of women take quite a while to orgasm even with lots of foreplay but they'll love you for it.   I've had a few that are more sensitive but they are the exception rather than the rule.


Meaning you abstain for 48 hours? Dayum....
This is why live-in relationships are great. Ditch the celibacy, bring on the yoga moves and toys.
 
2014-04-27 07:33:19 PM  
So if 43% of sex is under two minutes, but the average is 7 minutes, that means there's like one guy who lasts a couple hours.
 
2014-04-27 07:36:27 PM  

E5bie: harlock: Every man is different, but I'll let you in on a little secret.   If you polish the bishop at just the right interval beforehand, you'll be able to perform but you'll last a long time.   Too long of an interval between sex and you'll get too sensitive.    Too short and you may have troubles keeping it up.

Timing is everything, start with two evenings beforehand and see how it goes.  If you do it right you can last as long as you want.   A lot of women take quite a while to orgasm even with lots of foreplay but they'll love you for it.   I've had a few that are more sensitive but they are the exception rather than the rule.

Meaning you abstain for 48 hours? Dayum....
This is why live-in relationships are great. Ditch the celibacy, bring on the yoga moves and toys.


Seriously. Just goes to show how different we men are from each other. If I didn't at least jerk it for 2 days it would be a really quick fark when I finally do. We do this now on purpose every so often. Chastity play. Five days tops so far but after that I become a total two-pump chump.

Thought he was going to say you need to time it down to the hour, not the day. For me, release 8 hours before would provide a good duration for sex but it affects the volume.
 
2014-04-27 07:37:04 PM  

whither_apophis: So if 43% of sex is under two minutes, but the average is 7 minutes, that means there's like one guy who lasts a couple hours.


Damn it, Ron Jeremy.
 
2014-04-27 07:42:13 PM  
Time flies when you're having fun
 
2014-04-27 07:46:00 PM  
I kinda wish for this sometimes... I'm the opposite. It takes forever and sometimes doesn't happen at all. I WISH I could have an orgasm every single time, but I don't. Even if I do, it takes a long time, and no, that's not necessarily a good thing for me OR her.

So I got really good at cunnilingus, and everyone's happy.
 
2014-04-27 07:46:56 PM  

GRCooper: Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)


There is definitely an intensity scale. When you have the big O without ejaculating, you will really wonder WTF.
 
2014-04-27 07:47:13 PM  

whither_apophis: So if 43% of sex is under two minutes, but the average is 7 minutes, that means there's like one guy who lasts a couple hours.


Well, I don't like to brag, but....
 
2014-04-27 07:48:35 PM  
About 6 beers gets me in the perfect zone where I can pretty much go as long as I want. Wifey like.
 
2014-04-27 07:50:51 PM  

Nix Nightbird: I kinda wish for this sometimes... I'm the opposite. It takes forever and sometimes doesn't happen at all. I WISH I could have an orgasm every single time, but I don't. Even if I do, it takes a long time, and no, that's not necessarily a good thing for me OR her.

So I got really good at cunnilingus, and everyone's happy.


Are you on any meds? I was on lexapro for anxiety for a while and had the same problem. Switched to celexa and things went back to normal.
 
2014-04-27 07:50:58 PM  

hardinparamedic: Tantric sex is just better.


Sting?
 
2014-04-27 07:50:59 PM  

whither_apophis: So if 43% of sex is under two minutes, but the average is 7 minutes, that means there's like one guy who lasts a couple hours.


i1126.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-27 07:51:07 PM  
Every man should be able to go for as long as he wants.  Maybe there are just a bunch of selfish dickwads out there who don't give a damn as long as they get theirs.  I just don't know how this could be otherwise unless most people are really not very self-aware.
 
2014-04-27 07:54:53 PM  
I just skip all of that work and go directly to sleep.
 
2014-04-27 07:56:06 PM  
2 minutes seems low, but who keeps track? I don't think I've ever looked at a clock when starting.

Weird thing happened to me about a month ago. I came twice in about 10 minutes.
 
2014-04-27 07:56:09 PM  
This thread is really gross.
 
2014-04-27 07:59:22 PM  

MarkEC: GRCooper: Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)

There is definitely an intensity scale. When you have the big O without ejaculating, you will really wonder WTF.


You too? *fistbump* It's awesome! Sometimes I even actually start to go a little limp after before getting it back. Is this like stumbling upon tantric without actually practising it? I've found it all depends on what's right for the moment. It just seems to happen when it's suited best. Sex is amazing.
 
2014-04-27 08:04:02 PM  
The more sex you have, the longer you can go. In my case.
Also, as I get older, I can go longer. It's no longer about quantity or conquest, it's about pleasure.
Well, that's what my left hand says. Righty is a frigid biatch but I hate warm beer.
 
2014-04-27 08:04:18 PM  

JerseyTim: This thread is really gross.


Gooey. This thread is really gooey.
 
2014-04-27 08:04:39 PM  

tarheel07: Practice pinching off when you pee to strengthen your PC muscle and last longer in bed.


I've done this for years, and I've finally gotten to the point that I can go for an extra 15 minutes before urinating on my partner.
 
2014-04-27 08:07:25 PM  

Arachnophobe: whither_apophis: So if 43% of sex is under two minutes, but the average is 7 minutes, that means there's like one guy who lasts a couple hours.


I posted Sting"s name, you posted his pic - one second apart.

/I know, no1curr
 
2014-04-27 08:07:26 PM  

Explodo: unless most people are really not very self-aware.


That's a lot of it.  There's a lot of awkwardness towards sex because it's so taboo still in our society, even on a private level a lot of people don't like to talk about sex.  The natural result of that naivety is going at it in the way that feels the best and climaxing quickly(for guys).

Pacing and even intermission can be great for enhancing the experience for guys.

There's a balance though, draw it out too long and the climax can be disappointing.

It's even worse for a lot of females, because they have more variety in what gets them to climax, and if they don't figure it out for themselves and just expect the guy to just know how...well, you can see the conflict when you consider that we can't read minds.
 
2014-04-27 08:09:01 PM  
It's evolution. The male that can finish the fastest is also the one who can recover & go again sooner, thereby keeping the same female to himself or moving on to a different mate more quickly than the slower male.
 
2014-04-27 08:11:07 PM  

unyon: You mean I'm not supposed to be trying to get a personal best time??


That **** made me laugh.
 
2014-04-27 08:11:24 PM  

ladyfortuna: ... God damn it.


I feel like i'm missing something here.
 
2014-04-27 08:12:25 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: tarheel07: Practice pinching off when you pee to strengthen your PC muscle and last longer in bed.

I've done this for years, and I've finally gotten to the point that I can go for an extra 15 minutes before urinating on my partner.


+1

MarkEC: GRCooper: Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)

There is definitely an intensity scale. When you have the big O without ejaculating, you will really wonder WTF.


http://www.mayoclinic.org/symptoms/dry-orgasm/basics/causes/sym-2005 09 06
 
2014-04-27 08:15:53 PM  

Prey4reign: ecmoRandomNumbers: Sex is a destination, not a journey.

If you're married long enough, sex is Mission Impossible.


Throw a kid in the mix and it's The Dead Zone.
 
2014-04-27 08:17:28 PM  
Try antidepressants, you'll last hours and never climax...  At least you won't get depressed about it...
 
2014-04-27 08:19:15 PM  
I knew a dude on the coast that told us he'd shiat the bed whenever finishing, now that would be awkward.
 
2014-04-27 08:19:31 PM  
I wouldn't be surprised if a high percentage of Farkers have issues caused by the Death Grip. Not a problem for me, since I'll very likely never get lucky ever again.
 
2014-04-27 08:21:27 PM  
When I was in my 20's yes admit it. But I was able to 5 times in a row. Nowadays ....20/30 mins follwed by huffing and puffing and clutching my heart.
 
2014-04-27 08:24:48 PM  
The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up. Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal. She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too...I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal. The Giants won.
 
2014-04-27 08:25:45 PM  

Hobodeluxe: just rub one out about 3 hours before going out :)


Then I gotta wait two days to reload.

/ I see this is gonna take some advanced planning
 
2014-04-27 08:33:59 PM  

Nix Nightbird: I kinda wish for this sometimes... I'm the opposite. It takes forever and sometimes doesn't happen at all. I WISH I could have an orgasm every single time, but I don't. Even if I do, it takes a long time, and no, that's not necessarily a good thing for me OR her.

So I got really good at cunnilingus, and everyone's happy.


Ditto.
 
2014-04-27 08:35:07 PM  

birchman: Nix Nightbird: I kinda wish for this sometimes... I'm the opposite. It takes forever and sometimes doesn't happen at all. I WISH I could have an orgasm every single time, but I don't. Even if I do, it takes a long time, and no, that's not necessarily a good thing for me OR her.

So I got really good at cunnilingus, and everyone's happy.

Are you on any meds? I was on lexapro for anxiety for a while and had the same problem. Switched to celexa and things went back to normal.


Read back a page. this happened to me as well on Lexapro
 
2014-04-27 08:36:12 PM  
What about those of us that never finish without a marathon five finger pickle tickle?

/sux bro
 
2014-04-27 08:37:50 PM  
42 here with a gorgeous 33 yr old blue eyed brunette girlfriend. If we wait like a week then after foreplay I'm ten minutes and done. On a better "schedule" of every other day or so, then 15-30 minutes. Over that, and she starts to give me the "wrap it up" look.
 
2014-04-27 08:38:17 PM  

E5bie: harlock: Every man is different, but I'll let you in on a little secret.   If you polish the bishop at just the right interval beforehand, you'll be able to perform but you'll last a long time.   Too long of an interval between sex and you'll get too sensitive.    Too short and you may have troubles keeping it up.

Timing is everything, start with two evenings beforehand and see how it goes.  If you do it right you can last as long as you want.   A lot of women take quite a while to orgasm even with lots of foreplay but they'll love you for it.   I've had a few that are more sensitive but they are the exception rather than the rule.

Meaning you abstain for 48 hours? Dayum....
This is why live-in relationships are great. Ditch the celibacy, bring on the yoga moves and toys.


I should mention that it varies greatly depending on your age as well, and where you are into your relationship.   In the beginning it was crazy multiple times per day but has settled into a more reasonable schedule now.    Yea when I was younger the turnaround schedule was much, much shorter.
 
2014-04-27 08:39:31 PM  

fappomatic: The more sex you have, the longer you can go. In my case.
Also, as I get older, I can go longer. It's no longer about quantity or conquest, it's about pleasure.
Well, that's what my left hand says. Righty is a frigid biatch but I hate warm beer.


Yea same here.    I like to make it last and enjoy it with multiple positions.    So, sooo nice with the right partner.   have that right now and it's never been better.
 
2014-04-27 08:40:46 PM  

kortex: What about those of us that never finish without a marathon five finger pickle tickle?

/sux bro


I thought that was just a porn star thing. /guess I'm lucky to finish in the holes
 
2014-04-27 08:41:33 PM  

harlock: fappomatic: The more sex you have, the longer you can go. In my case.
Also, as I get older, I can go longer. It's no longer about quantity or conquest, it's about pleasure.
Well, that's what my left hand says. Righty is a frigid biatch but I hate warm beer.

Yea same here.    I like to make it last and enjoy it with multiple positions.    So, sooo nice with the right partner.   have that right now and it's never been better.


Word
 
2014-04-27 08:43:47 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up. Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal. She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too...I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal. The Giants won.


is the Alou Matty and the Mays Willie?

/it's important
 
2014-04-27 08:51:05 PM  

lindalouwho: AliceBToklasLives: The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up. Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal. She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too...I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal. The Giants won.

is the Alou Matty and the Mays Willie?

/it's important


And was it June 13th, 1968?
 
2014-04-27 08:52:44 PM  
The other 57% are on SSRI antidepressants?

/late to the thread
 
2014-04-27 08:53:42 PM  

Ooba Tooba: kortex: What about those of us that never finish without a marathon five finger pickle tickle?

/sux bro

I thought that was just a porn star thing. /guess I'm lucky to finish in the holes


It's not. I've never been able to finish without extensive manual manipulation. I wish I could finish in
 
2014-04-27 08:57:07 PM  
Winning?
 
2014-04-27 09:01:33 PM  

Neeek: 2 minutes seems low, but who keeps track? I don't think I've ever looked at a clock when starting.



A little off-topic, but about 85% of the time that I masturbate, I orgasm at the 13 minute mark.

/that's what you get for having a clock on the night table next to your bed.
 
2014-04-27 09:08:55 PM  
I tend to orgasm shortly after the Chinese lady tells me to roll over.
 
2014-04-27 09:13:13 PM  
For a while I was on a ACE inhibiter for high blood pressure.  Two side effects:  One is that I was almost never horny, two was that it would take me forever to climax - and I mean, wife looking at the clock and drumming her fingers on my ass and maybe if I really got rocking I could actually finish.  Ugh.  We both hated that stuff.

If there's one thing I've learned in 54 years, there's nothing remotely normal about sex.  Other than we all either want or have it, pretty much.  Other than that?  Man, I lived in San Francisco, nothing really surprises me anymore - oh, disgusts perhaps, there are pretty offputting practices out there by MY standards, but there you have it.

The real tragedy is that I can then roll over and go right to sleep and she can't.
 
2014-04-27 09:14:26 PM  

whither_apophis: So if 43% of sex is under two minutes, but the average is 7 minutes, that means there's like one guy who lasts a couple hours.


I once looped a 6 disk CD changer.

/fark, to be 25 again
 
2014-04-27 09:17:32 PM  

lindalouwho: lindalouwho: AliceBToklasLives: The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up. Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal. She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too...I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal. The Giants won.

is the Alou Matty and the Mays Willie?

/it's important

And was it June 13th, 1968?


Yes, I am old.

And short.

And Jewish.

And Woody Allen.

/Don't judge me
 
2014-04-27 09:19:20 PM  
I don't get sleepy afterwards. I get hungry and more awake. So I read/massage her to sleep and go make an enormous sandwich and play old Blizzard games.

My sexual habits: only Fark knows them.
 
2014-04-27 09:27:26 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: lindalouwho: lindalouwho: AliceBToklasLives: The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up. Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal. She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too...I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal. The Giants won.

is the Alou Matty and the Mays Willie?

/it's important

And was it June 13th, 1968?

Yes, I am old.

And short.

And Jewish.

And Woody Allen.

/Don't judge me


Not judging you lol I'm old too and my Pirates played that game when I was 12. It sounded familiar; one helluva team back then.

Wait a minute....Woody Allen?
 
2014-04-27 09:28:52 PM  

hardinparamedic: Tantric sex is just better.


You mean in a graveyard with a menstruating woman of a different caste after eating disgusting, illegal stuff?
Fine if you're into that sort of thing.
 
2014-04-27 09:38:45 PM  
Right on time.
Every time.
 
2014-04-27 09:49:49 PM  

The more you eat the more you fart: In all seriousness: i WISH.

Sometimes u just want quickie..lasting 20-30 minutes all the time prevents that.

/thank you Lexapro.


I have my long game covered, it's the short-game quickies that I need to get better at... trying to undo the habits that have allowed me to hold out. For some reason it seems to help if I just kind of catch my wife in private and initiate.

/Down to 7 minutes
//3-4 minutes would = more quickies
 
2014-04-27 09:57:41 PM  

harlock: Every man is different, but I'll let you in on a little secret.   If you polish the bishop at just the right interval beforehand, you'll be able to perform but you'll last a long time.


Ok, but what if you're not Catholic?
 
2014-04-27 10:03:28 PM  

FizixJunkee: I orgasm at the 13 minute mark.


Prime numbers set me off too.
 
2014-04-27 10:07:03 PM  

Nix Nightbird: I kinda wish for this sometimes... I'm the opposite. It takes forever and sometimes doesn't happen at all. I WISH I could have an orgasm every single time, but I don't. Even if I do, it takes a long time, and no, that's not necessarily a good thing for me OR her.

So I got really good at cunnilingus, and everyone's happy.


I had the same thing happen when I was on an SSRI. I could get hard, be in the mood, and just could not climax.
 
2014-04-27 10:17:09 PM  

omeganuepsilon: Barricaded Gunman: tarheel07: Practice pinching off when you pee to strengthen your PC muscle and last longer in bed.

I've done this for years, and I've finally gotten to the point that I can go for an extra 15 minutes before urinating on my partner.

+1

MarkEC: GRCooper: Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)

There is definitely an intensity scale. When you have the big O without ejaculating, you will really wonder WTF.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/symptoms/dry-orgasm/basics/causes/sym-2005 09 06


OK, so one of the listed causes of dry orgasm is Transurethral needle ablation, abbreviated TUNA.  Freakin' TUNA, man.
 
2014-04-27 10:24:27 PM  

Frederick: FizixJunkee: I orgasm at the 13 minute mark.

Prime numbers set me off too.


In other words, done in one.
 
2014-04-27 10:27:58 PM  

ladyfortuna: ... God damn it.


that cracked me up more than it should. lol
 
2014-04-27 10:35:03 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: Frederick: FizixJunkee: I orgasm at the 13 minute mark.

Prime numbers set me off too.

In other words, done in one.


One is not a prime number.
 
2014-04-27 10:39:38 PM  
What do I care as long as I get mine?
 
2014-04-27 10:48:39 PM  
s24.postimg.org

s27.postimg.org

s12.postimg.org

s27.postimg.org

s28.postimg.org

s3.postimg.org

s2.postimg.org
 
2014-04-27 10:50:16 PM  
The advantage of being gay.  Just climax - play video games for a half hour - and do it again.  Repeat.
 
2014-04-27 10:52:56 PM  
s29.postimg.org
 
2014-04-27 11:00:04 PM  

Solid State Vittles: In before every Farker alive claims they're long lasting marathon men in their hand, whoops, I mean in the sack.


The trick is to get drunk enough that you can't finish, but not so drunk that you can't get it up.
 
2014-04-27 11:00:46 PM  

nin3064: Try antidepressants, you'll last hours and never climax...  At least you won't get depressed about it...


No shiat. I took celexa for about four days. Seriously, I couldn't even here off. Duck that shiat.
 
2014-04-27 11:07:47 PM  

viscountalpha: ladyfortuna: ... God damn it.

I feel like i'm missing something here.


Yeah but only because I don't feel like leaving certain information lying around the internet. Sorry.
 
2014-04-27 11:14:17 PM  

ladyfortuna: viscountalpha: ladyfortuna: ... God damn it.

I feel like i'm missing something here.

Yeah but only because I don't feel like leaving certain information lying around the internet. Sorry.


No need to be sorry. I just wasn't sure if there was a back story already.
 
2014-04-27 11:14:26 PM  
Wow! 2 minutes? That includes getting undressed and getting dressed again, right?
 
2014-04-27 11:28:32 PM  

CigaretteSmokingMan: What do I care as long as I get mine?


If you want her to say yes next time...
 
2014-04-27 11:32:50 PM  

Loren: CigaretteSmokingMan: What do I care as long as I get mine?

If you want her to say yes next time...


What? You mean they can say yes?
 
2014-04-27 11:35:49 PM  

The more you eat the more you fart: In all seriousness: i WISH.

Sometimes u just want quickie..lasting 20-30 minutes all the time prevents that.

/thank you Lexapro.


Yes! Thank you! When she demands that every session is a two-hour, 4-5-6+ orgasm marathon, it gets rather tedious. I mean, I gotta get up in the morning, y'know? I come, she comes, we go to sleep, that should be enough most of the time.
 
2014-04-27 11:38:27 PM  
3 beers: 3 minutes, if I'm lucky
6 beers: Sex God
8 beers: "aren't you done yet?"
 
2014-04-27 11:57:21 PM  
I'm guessing that, among couples who hit the 2 minute mark, deriving a prolonged amount of pleasure from sex is not so important as simply satisfying the urge. I'm also assuming that my neighbors were not surveyed.
 
2014-04-28 12:45:41 AM  
Of course, it's really 12 minutes if you include the time it takes to eat the pizza.
 
2014-04-28 12:54:54 AM  
That's just the time I'm waiting for her to end having her orgasm...not start, finish

I'm polite that way.


But I tell you...5 minutes quaking, max...then it's overkill otherwise.
 
2014-04-28 01:30:23 AM  

AliceBToklasLives: The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up. Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal. She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too...I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal. The Giants won.


I love you.
 
2014-04-28 02:41:32 AM  

Delta1212: In other news, 43% of men have never masturbated.

/I'm not sure which statistic I find less believable
//Seriously, I refuse to accept that these studies are accurate
///What is the point of 2 minute sex?


Later on lying about how good it was?
 
2014-04-28 04:03:47 AM  

GRCooper: Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)


No, but I've had a Yeehaw! with no squirt, thanks to Flomax. Was so weird.
 
2014-04-28 04:05:58 AM  
So what about guys who last too long? It takes me forever to finish, always has. Like 20 minutes or more, even when masturbating. I'd give my left nut to be able to come in 2 min. lolz
 
2014-04-28 05:34:40 AM  

BigRightRear: Whatever, all I know is this 52 year old ALWAYS have and still do NOT lose my erection after orgasm. My stupid girlfriend tells her girlfriends about this 'amazing trick'. Creates awkward situations when 'they wanna see it". I've let a few.


Go on....
 
2014-04-28 05:56:41 AM  
Just think about all the stuff she does that irritates the crap out of you and you will last a long time.
 
2014-04-28 06:12:41 AM  

Lapdance: Just think about all the stuff she does that irritates the crap out of you and you will last a long time.


hmmm......

If this advice is beneficial, will I owe you any credit or can I use freely?
 
2014-04-28 07:10:59 AM  
Always bring a nice gift.
 
2014-04-28 07:56:22 AM  

Fafai: GRCooper: Serious, related question - any guys ever finish *without* orgasm? Squirt but no "yeeehaw!"?

Happened to me once (only once, thank gawd)

I do the opposite. Orgasm with no ejaculate. It's mostly mental I guess, and I get to keep going and finish for real. Sometimes it happens more than twice before I finally pop. It's like having multiple orgasms. I'm a total woman.


I get that sometimes, and yeah, it's pretty nice.


gingerjet: The advantage of being gay.  Just climax - play video games for a half hour - and do it again.  Repeat.


You don't have to be gay to do that.

Or single.
 
2014-04-28 08:08:16 AM  
I'm glad to see we're not buckling to pressure.
 
2014-04-28 09:55:17 AM  
in 'murica, its all about busting nuts.


sex sells everything.
 
2014-04-28 09:57:19 AM  

mjjt: I'm a little concerned as to who was holding the stopwatch



a pervert.
 
2014-04-28 09:58:05 AM  

tarheel07: Practice pinching off when you pee to strengthen your PC muscle and last longer in bed.



you'll get stronger muscles doing it with hard poo.
 
2014-04-28 10:02:00 AM  
2 minutes? I hate those difficult Steam Achievements.
 
2014-04-28 12:00:02 PM  
If only blow jobs took only 2 minutes. I must not be doing them right.
 
2014-04-28 12:42:29 PM  

Mr. Right: Why do humans obsess over things like this?  Check out domestic breeding livestock.  Stallions are done in about 20 second, bulls even less.  Rams go from jump up to step away in 10 seconds or less.  Boars are the only one on the farm with any stamina - they can go several minutes.

The thing is that humans are one of the very few species that have the capability to engage in recreational sex.  Wouldn't it make sense that the recreation part include a whole lot of stuff besides actual penetration?  If the partner is important enough to you, you'll do whatever it takes, either before or after you "get yours" to make certain it's enjoyable for him or her.


I read (on Fark) once that there is a scientific answer to this.

Most animals (mammals anyway) have a weaponized penis.  Barbs on it do two things: they keep predators from going after it (if it's external, it's a weakness), and they stimulate the male to orgasm almost immediately after penetration.  It's really not possible or quite difficult for animals with such barbs to have longer sex, but that's ok as it's purpose is already fulfilled in this situation, and it allows animals living in dangerous environments to hump without prolonged activity that would distract them and noises that could attract predators.

Humans with our houses and caves and general protection from nature do not need to hurry the process.  We evolved this way because our babies take longer than animal babies to develop.  How long before a kitten can be away from the mother? a few weeks, tops.  How long before a human child can be away from the mother?  Years, at a minimum.  longer sex builds emotional connections animals don't have, and these emotional needs are what keep couples together where they have a better chance of successfully raising the child to adulthood.
 
2014-04-28 01:12:59 PM  
There isn't much left for me after he's done with his two minutes.  Selfish bastard.
 
2014-04-28 01:45:47 PM  
2 mins back when I wasn't getting it regular.  Now 10-15 minutes is the norm.  
Makes me curious, are all the 2-minute bandits doing it infrequently or something?  De-sensitization should eventually set in...
 
2014-04-28 02:03:36 PM  

SundaesChild: If only blow jobs took only 2 minutes. I must not be doing them right.


That mystifies me, too. I mean, stick it in the vajay and blow a stack in two minutes, but leave her bobbing down there for half an hour and the only thing that happens is she gets a sore jaw.
 
2014-04-28 02:37:00 PM  

baconbeard: 3 beers: 3 minutes, if I'm lucky
6 beers: Sex God
8 beers: "aren't you done yet?"


Increase those times after age 45 or so...

3 beers: 20 min
6 beers: are you done yet?
8 beers: limp dick, so no sex

You really do begin to last much longer as you get older. It's just the opposite for many women.

I can understand this two minute popping in a young guy with little experience. But an experienced older man who unloads in two minutes and can't control this should see a sex therapist.
 
2014-04-28 03:25:11 PM  
Depends on the partner and the mood.  Sometimes it's a marathon, sometimes it's a sprint.

/Sometimes it's a relay?
 
2014-04-28 05:59:12 PM  
I go pretty quick on the first time out during intercourse, but I can keep right on going most of the time. It is better if I masturbate beforehand or during foreplay, then I can last a long time during intercourse. It is hard to have great sex though if my partner is a one orgasm and then we are done type person.
 
2014-04-29 12:26:04 AM  
Daughter: Momma, what's the secret to good sex with a man?
Mom: You make sure you get him off once before having intercourse. If he falls asleep or "is done" after the once, he was never worth it to begin with and don't ever let him in you.
 
2014-04-29 05:49:05 AM  

Stoker: Daughter: Momma, what's the secret to good sex with a man?
Mom: You make sure you get him off once before having intercourse. If he falls asleep or "is done" after the once, he was never worth it to begin with and don't ever let him in you.


I think Stoker's family might benefit from a CPS visit...
 
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