Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Modesto Bee)   Police find abandoned body in abandoned body shop. Which really is the first place they should have looked   (modbee.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Stanislaus County  
•       •       •

3441 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2014 at 8:44 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



53 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2014-04-26 07:14:42 PM  
Lol.
 
2014-04-26 07:44:42 PM  
This is what happens when you allow gay marriage...
 
2014-04-26 08:47:21 PM  
I didn't abandon that body, I just wasn't using it right at the moment. I was coming right back for it.
 
2014-04-26 08:47:52 PM  
I prefer the original version.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-26 08:48:49 PM  
Man found dead in freezer married to suspect

fusillade762: This is what happens when you allow gay marriage...


Men are marrying freezers.
 
2014-04-26 08:49:43 PM  
Im just amazed the suspect married a freezer. I bet it's cold in the sack.
 
2014-04-26 08:54:24 PM  
Oh you might ask this of why there was not the further coverage of the account of this by the media outlets and I will say this to you the reason for this was because this was not the individual who had the missingness as the photogenetically designed White girl. Instead it was the individual who smelled of the homosexuality and thus does not get the attention of the media. This is just the further example of how the patriarchy and the feminists are really one of the same individuals who do the attempting of holding down the marginalized under the guise of tolerance. The feminists individuals are not any of the better than the men who they do the accusations of. Otherwise the body of this man would have had the finding in the days and Nancy of Grace would be on this every single second of the day.
 
2014-04-26 08:55:38 PM  
We finally live in a world where anyone, regardless of gender or orientation, can be brutally murdered by their spouse. Truly we have achieved equality.
 
2014-04-26 08:57:57 PM  
What a weird-ass story

Cervantes, 26, signed the license to wed Kroger claiming he had no previous marriages, but public records show he married Mindy Gutierrez in 2009.

Detective Darren Venn said officers went to the shop with the industrial complex owner after customers had complained that they'd paid Cervantes for work that had not been completed and that no one was answering the phone...

Cervantes has owned multiple auto body shops throughout Stanislaus County



I guess they'll be checking the other shops?
 
2014-04-26 08:58:08 PM  
HOTY candidate!
 
2014-04-26 09:00:47 PM  

jaytkay: Man found dead in freezer married to suspect

fusillade762: This is what happens when you allow gay marriage...

Men are marrying freezers.


My husband's been claiming that for years.
 
2014-04-26 09:03:29 PM  

lindalouwho: HOTY candidate!


The man is the deceased person and you have the wish for judging the physical attractiveness of he? Would you do this if he was the straight individual? No I do not think you would have objectification of he in this way.
 
2014-04-26 09:05:06 PM  
I love irony..... This is what irony is right? Yeah sounds about right.
 
2014-04-26 09:05:46 PM  
This is proof that no matter how tight a gay man's booty is, somewhere some other gay man is sick of his shiat.
 
2014-04-26 09:05:57 PM  

meow said the dog: lindalouwho: HOTY candidate!

The man is the deceased person and you have the wish for judging the physical attractiveness of he? Would you do this if he was the straight individual? No I do not think you would have objectification of he in this way.


See?

Why does he have to be a straight individual? As opposed to crooked or broken?

What the f*ck?
 
2014-04-26 09:06:06 PM  
I submit, for consideration, that we collectively adopt the word "freezer" instead of words such as: stiff, floater, worm food, etc.
 
2014-04-26 09:07:43 PM  

fappomatic: I submit, for consideration, that we collectively adopt the word "freezer" instead of words such as: stiff, floater, worm food, etc.


Dahmerchow
 
2014-04-26 09:08:00 PM  
img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-04-26 09:09:01 PM  
That's the second "body of Cervantes" story on Fark today.
 
2014-04-26 09:10:38 PM  

megarian: Why does he have to be a straight individual? As opposed to crooked or broken?


So you wish for making judgment of this person of the attractiveness of he as the valuation of the worth of he when it is the coming of the determination of if the charges we do the pressing of in this case should be the hatred crimes?
 
2014-04-26 09:15:11 PM  

meow said the dog: lindalouwho: HOTY candidate!

The man is the deceased person and you have the wish for judging the physical attractiveness of he? Would you do this if he was the straight individual? No I do not think you would have objectification of he in this way.


meow, I haven't had a chance to read the article yet - busy in another thread. My comment was based only on the headline.

/off to read it now
 
2014-04-26 09:19:22 PM  
i.kinja-img.com
 
2014-04-26 09:19:33 PM  

lindalouwho: meow, I haven't had a chance to read the article yet - busy in another thread. My comment was based only on the headline.


Well that is the okay thing. It is what happens here. Even then you have the better understanding of this than The Megarian who is the Meg Ryan married to Thomas H. Hanks.
 
2014-04-26 09:40:48 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-26 09:42:31 PM  
I didn't even know it was possible to get into an argument with meow. Huh.
 
2014-04-26 09:42:59 PM  
Things are always in the last place you look; because if you keep looking after finding them you're really silly.
 
2014-04-26 09:46:52 PM  
is meg/meow talking to himself again?
 
2014-04-26 09:49:23 PM  

fusillade762: I didn't even know it was possible to get into an argument with meow. Huh.


I'm not convinced meow is actually arguing.
 
2014-04-26 09:54:24 PM  
Meow, you are a Goddess. Your posts are like brain exercises! Love them!
 
2014-04-26 09:56:58 PM  
I don't know what's going on but I like it.
 
2014-04-26 09:57:26 PM  

EllenTheBad: Meow, you are a Goddess. Your posts are like brain exercises! Love them!


Thank you for this. Perhaps we can both do the cosigned letter to the individuals who are in the charging of the media for the poor coverings of the story of this.
 
2014-04-26 09:58:37 PM  

idefix: I don't know what's going on but I like it.


What is going on is that the body of the individual who was the missing person was found in the abandoned shop for bodies but LAUGHTER OL jokings is to you because what is meant by this is the car body and not the human body so it makes it the funniest of things of the headline. But the story has sadness. You are welcome.
 
2014-04-26 10:00:35 PM  

lindalouwho: HOTY candidate!


I'll admit, I definitely thought it, too.  And upon further inspection, it stands up.  There's a subtly and simplicity to the headline, a harkening to the 'peter piper picked' tongue-twister cadence, and the delivery is succinct both before and after the comma.  There's also a certain symmetry to the headline that the lack of a final punctuation adds to.

You magnificent f*cking bastard.

/golfclap.jpg
 
2014-04-26 10:01:20 PM  
I think I just got insulted in that last barrage
 
2014-04-26 10:10:16 PM  
Now my good man, an abandoned body, please.
We do have an abandoned body.
You do. Excellent.
It's a bit runny, sir.
Oh, I like it runny.
I think it's runnier than you'll like it, sir.
I don't care how excremently runny it is, hand it over with all speed.
Uhhh ... the cat's eaten it.
 
2014-04-26 10:20:41 PM  
Um nevermind I just checked my email.

If you think your sad BIE is helpful, you're more misguided than I thought.
 
2014-04-26 11:42:31 PM  
www.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DKQrJ7Jcendo&h=360&w=480&tbnid=40v2PMjTnS 9BiM%3A&zoom=1&docid=943U8258RjEKMM&ei=zXtcU8T1Ianu2wX12oCYBw&tbm=isch &ved=0CFIQMygAMAA&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=4289&page=1&start=0&ndsp=21
 
2014-04-26 11:49:41 PM  
Jesus! I think I had an epileptic seizure after reading this thread and I do not even have epilepsy.
 
2014-04-26 11:50:27 PM  
The story is even more bizarre than the headline. This really delivers.
 
2014-04-26 11:55:30 PM  

doofusss: www.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DKQrJ7Jcendo&h=360&w=480&tbnid=40v2PMjTn S 9BiM%3A&zoom=1&docid=943U8258RjEKMM&ei=zXtcU8T1Ianu2wX12oCYBw&tbm=isch &ved=0CFIQMygAMAA&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=4289&page=1&start=0&ndsp=21


wat
 
2014-04-27 12:16:51 AM  

Conservative Humor: doofusss: www.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DKQrJ7Jcendo&h=360&w=480&tbnid=40v2PMjTn S 9BiM%3A&zoom=1&docid=943U8258RjEKMM&ei=zXtcU8T1Ianu2wX12oCYBw&tbm=isch &ved=0CFIQMygAMAA&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=4289&page=1&start=0&ndsp=21

wat


I think it might be some form of a coded message.
 
2014-04-27 12:25:09 AM  

Point02GPA: Conservative Humor: doofusss: www.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DKQrJ7Jcendo&h=360&w=480&tbnid=40v2PMjTn S 9BiM%3A&zoom=1&docid=943U8258RjEKMM&ei=zXtcU8T1Ianu2wX12oCYBw&tbm=isch &ved=0CFIQMygAMAA&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=4289&page=1&start=0&ndsp=21

wat

I think it might be some form of a coded message.


Like the location of Jimmy Hoffa's body? Is it in a freezer at a different abandoned body shop? Was he secretly gay married?

Come on, doofusss, don't leave us hanging here!
 
2014-04-27 12:37:25 AM  

meow said the dog: Oh you might ask this of why there was not the further coverage of the account of this by the media outlets and I will say this to you the reason for this was because this was not the individual who had the missingness as the photogenetically designed White girl. Instead it was the individual who smelled of the homosexuality and thus does not get the attention of the media. This is just the further example of how the patriarchy and the feminists are really one of the same individuals who do the attempting of holding down the marginalized under the guise of tolerance. The feminists individuals are not any of the better than the men who they do the accusations of. Otherwise the body of this man would have had the finding in the days and Nancy of Grace would be on this every single second of the day.


This is what happens when you allow gay marriage: Meow Said the Dog mates with Pocket Ninja.
 
2014-04-27 12:58:45 AM  
Terrific headline Subby!
 
2014-04-27 01:20:32 AM  

tripleseven: Im just amazed the suspect married a freezer. I bet it's cold in the sack.


Downright frigid really
 
2014-04-27 02:59:24 PM  
When did Steven Wright start submitting on Fark?
 
2014-04-27 03:31:03 PM  
FREE CLAWS DOGBY!
 
2014-04-27 05:11:02 PM  
Points...Laughs
 
2014-04-27 09:39:52 PM  
Glad we all agree that this is the fault of the patriarchy and the feminists for stifling these types of stories from the mainstream media. You are welcome.
 
2014-04-27 10:38:23 PM  
poot
 
Displayed 50 of 53 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter








In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report