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(ABC)   How do you want your corpse posed at your funeral? Submitter will need a rubber hose, some ducks and a donkey wearing a batman suit   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 71
    More: Weird, dead people, funerals  
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3251 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2014 at 9:03 PM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-26 07:46:25 PM
F*cking unstoppable auto-play video.
 
2014-04-26 08:27:01 PM
I'm going to be cremated and then shot into space.  Who wouldn't like that?
 
2014-04-26 08:29:21 PM
 
2014-04-26 08:54:25 PM
I don't.  I'm either going to be cremated or, if I'm too old or sick to donate my organs, donate my body to a forensic body farm to study corpse decomp in various environments.  If I get to choose how THAT is posed, I want to be laid spread eagle like I'm making snow angels.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-04-26 08:55:20 PM
A friend of the family (before I was born) died sitting up and was in rigor mortis in a sitting position when they found him.
 
2014-04-26 09:09:28 PM
the same way I went out: on top of your mother.
 
2014-04-26 09:10:36 PM
Fill my boots up with sand and put a stiff drink in my hand.

-Joe Diffie
 
2014-04-26 09:11:54 PM
Atop the corpses of my enemies.
 
2014-04-26 09:13:10 PM
I don't care, I'll be dead.

I suggested my organs get donated and my wife have me cremated but again, I'll be dead so what actually happens -- meh.
 
2014-04-26 09:13:18 PM
I want to do a bunch of Weekend at Bernie's stuff.
 
2014-04-26 09:14:01 PM
How'd you get my diary?
 
2014-04-26 09:14:40 PM
It's going to be hard to pose a pile of ashes.

Just put me at the end of the bar with a few drinks,  thanks.
 
2014-04-26 09:15:17 PM
I want to be posed like a vampire.  But a cool vampire, not one of those pretty glittery ones.  I want a black cape with the collar up, plastic fangs, and my arms crossed over my chest.
 
2014-04-26 09:15:32 PM
I plan on suspending my naked dead body high above the guests with hooks.
 
2014-04-26 09:26:21 PM
Hollow me out. Fill me with candy. Piñata time.
 
2014-04-26 09:32:19 PM
Just lay me out in the coffin with my favorite sweat shirt on.  And all you Eagles haters can just deal with it.
 
2014-04-26 09:33:45 PM
I want vultures to eat my guts out.  We're short on Egyptian vultures around here, so buzzards will have to do.
 
2014-04-26 09:34:57 PM
Propped up in the back of my ex's closet.  I don't have an ex but, if I ever do, I'm sure I'll want to get back at her for something.
 
2014-04-26 09:35:12 PM
I want a slot machine installed in my abdomen with the payout chute coming out my ass and the pull handle modified into a pump and ran up my dick, then prop me up at Broadway and Avenue of the Americas so people can jerk me off in hopes of a payout...
 
2014-04-26 09:36:04 PM
You should ask some of the Eagles to be your pallbearers. That way they can let you down one last time.
 
2014-04-26 09:36:05 PM

Prey4reign: Just lay me out in the coffin with my favorite sweat shirt on.  And all you Eagles haters can just deal with it.


That's how we want all Eagles fans to look.
 
2014-04-26 09:39:02 PM

Lsherm: fusillade762: F*cking unstoppable auto-play video.

http://internet.wonderhowto.com/how-to/disable-annoying-autoplay-med ia -chrome-firefox-safari-and-internet-explorer-0139641/


Cool. Thanks!
 
2014-04-26 09:43:47 PM

BigHunzie: Prey4reign: Just lay me out in the coffin with my favorite sweat shirt on.  And all you Eagles haters can just deal with it.

That's how we want all Eagles fans to look.


You can watch the buzzards eat my guts out if you like.

/go iggles
 
2014-04-26 09:51:36 PM
Shot between two circus cannons until I disintegrate or the crowd gets bored and leaves, whichever comes last.
 
2014-04-26 09:55:01 PM

toejam: You should ask some of the Eagles to be your pallbearers. That way they can let you down one last time.


slow clap.jpg
 
2014-04-26 09:56:52 PM
Be a neat trick with my body, because, in the words of George Carlin, "When I die, I want to be BLOWN UP!!!"  ;)
 
2014-04-26 09:59:42 PM
Doing the Big Fig Newton.
 
2014-04-26 09:59:43 PM
I want to be laid out in a coffin ... the coffin should be filled with ice, and covered in shrimp, clams, oysters, crab legs and claws.  Come up to say your goodbyes, grab yourself some raw bar - dunk it in the cocktail sauce that has been strategically positioned over my belly button.

Bon appetit, and so long suckers!
 
2014-04-26 10:02:15 PM
Take whatever someone else can use (organs, etc) and then burn the rest. Scatter my ashes off Cape Hatteras in a traditional surfer's ceremony.

I left a substantial sum in my will for liquor and whatever so people can party and tell all sorts of lies about me. I'd rather people stand around and laugh instead of being all weepy. And if someone hooks up and gets laid, that would be perfect.
 
2014-04-26 10:03:46 PM
Closed casket with just a hole for my erect penis. Sort of the opposite of "Dick in a Box".

Or just cremate me.
 
2014-04-26 10:04:12 PM
♪ Oh, bury me not... on the lone prairie... ♪

scottross79.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-26 10:05:12 PM
At my funeral I'd like there to be a pinata so everyone is happy. But filled with bees, so they're not TOO happy.
 
2014-04-26 10:05:33 PM
The same way we do every night Pinky
 
2014-04-26 10:09:44 PM
Put my ashes into a boxing glove and have PAC-MAN punch Mayweather in the face until the glove breaks open and my ashes mix with his blood on the canvas.


/somebody has to do it
 
2014-04-26 10:11:52 PM

ultraholland: the same way I went out: on top of your mother.


Winner winner chicken dinner!
 
2014-04-26 10:13:00 PM
I want to be buried at sea, personally. I get a kick out of the idea of forcing my family and friends to take a nice little boat trip, and then heave my corpse over the side like one the victims on Dexter.
 
2014-04-26 10:13:27 PM
You could be freeze-dried, and then kept around the house. Works for pets; put it in your will as a requirement for your heirs to maintain their inheritance.
 
2014-04-26 10:20:37 PM
"I don't want to be buried, I want to be cremated, and thrown in the chili at the wake. I want everybody to have a little taste of me when I'm dead and gone"

-Rodney Carrington

Gets me every time. I don't really intend for my organs to be reusable after I'm done with them, so donation is out, probably just a standard funeral. My folks have a family cemetery we've been planting our ancestors in since the 1840s, I definitely want to be buried there. I have told my siblings I will haunt them if I don't have irises on my grave. If Geocaching is still around whenever I kick the bucket, I want my headstone to be a cache.
 
2014-04-26 10:22:52 PM

brap: Shot between two circus cannons until I disintegrate or the crowd gets bored and leaves, whichever comes last.


You, uh, go to the same support group as me I think. Cannon lovers anonymous.
 
2014-04-26 10:23:49 PM
David Carradine..

//and, not from a movie...
 
2014-04-26 10:24:40 PM

Boo_Guy: It's going to be hard to pose a pile of ashes.

Just put me at the end of the bar with a few drinks,  thanks.


www.kipptoys.com
 
2014-04-26 10:24:57 PM
The burial at sea idea sounds good...
...but instead of just sliding me off the deck into the water, I want this:
Position me in a flying Superman pose (no capes!) and launch me from a deck mounted catapult.
 
2014-04-26 10:25:26 PM
"It would mean we would have to change how we embalm a person. We would likely have to use a harder fluid so the body would stay stiff in that position and [the person would] have to be embalmed in the position they would be viewed," he said. "If we were given that request, it would certainly be something we would take a hard look at."

i.imgur.com
Huhuh huh huh. You said "stiff" and "hard."


/How I want to be posed
//Not true-to-life though :-(
 
2014-04-26 10:34:39 PM
From all reports, it does not matter what happens to the dead husk of your body.
 
2014-04-26 10:34:40 PM
"I've died 68 times, it never gets old."

Abe Vigoda
 
2014-04-26 10:39:49 PM

Ambivalence: I don't.  I'm either going to be cremated or, if I'm too old or sick to donate my organs, donate my body to a forensic body farm to study corpse decomp in various environments.  If I get to choose how THAT is posed, I want to be laid spread eagle like I'm making snow angels.


Then wouldn't.....necrophiliacs be a concern?

Found it interesting that one has to be in the requested position when embalmed.

/lotsa sickos in this thread
//love that about Fark ;-)
 
2014-04-26 10:41:51 PM
This is tangential but I'd like to die flying over North Korea in a James Bond tailored suit. I'd be flying a large cargo plan filled with vintage porn (old Playboy/Penthouse). I'd be bombing the country with smut until they shot me down.

That or same suit and flying into an erupting volcano.
 
2014-04-26 10:43:12 PM
alexpogeler.files.wordpress.com

My friends can draw lots to see who gets to shoot the fire arrow.
 
2014-04-26 10:48:39 PM
Up your nose with a rubber hose.
 
2014-04-26 10:49:11 PM
I ask only to be bronzed in a menacing pose and set up as a statue somewhere I can terrify small children for eternity.
 
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