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(NASCAR)   Will the rain quit following the Sprint Cup Series around every week for once? Can we have a good honest race free of cheating this go around in Richmond? It's the Toyota Owners 400 (7:00PM ET, FOX)   (nascar.com) divider line 603
    More: Cool, Sprint Cup, Toyota  
•       •       •

100 clicks; posted to Sports » on 26 Apr 2014 at 6:30 PM (13 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-26 06:32:29 PM
www.labletter.com
 
2014-04-26 06:35:32 PM
Professor Farksworth Idol....intializing...standby mode entered...
 
2014-04-26 06:36:26 PM
Are the Waltrip clowns really the best commentators FOX can come up with?
 
2014-04-26 06:39:49 PM

p0nk: Are the Waltrip clowns really the best commentators FOX can come up with?


Can you imagine Shoepisser and Captain Concussion trying to call NASCAR?
 
2014-04-26 06:43:37 PM
Go A-Bow! Go.. wait.. RyTru qualified 8TH?!?! What sorcery is this?!
 
2014-04-26 06:44:53 PM
When's the green flag? I'm at work and I have been told there is a dreadful lack of beer in my apartment. I should catch most of it.

The fog was pretty cool last night.
 
2014-04-26 06:45:57 PM

The Bestest: Go A-Bow! Go.. wait.. RyTru qualified 8TH?!?! What sorcery is this?!


qualies were rained out. Field set on practice time.
 
2014-04-26 06:47:46 PM

crotchgrabber: When's the green flag? I'm at work and I have been told there is a dreadful lack of beer in my apartment. I should catch most of it.

The fog was pretty cool last night.


7:14 pm ET
 
2014-04-26 06:48:16 PM

crotchgrabber: qualies were rained out. Field set on practice time.


Ah, that helps explain it. For a moment there, I was scared RyTru found some skill.
 
2014-04-26 06:51:03 PM

rhiannon: crotchgrabber: When's the green flag? I'm at work and I have been told there is a dreadful lack of beer in my apartment. I should catch most of it.

The fog was pretty cool last night.

7:14 pm ET


Thanks. I won't miss much then.
 
2014-04-26 06:51:55 PM

The Bestest: crotchgrabber: qualies were rained out. Field set on practice time.

Ah, that helps explain it. For a moment there, I was scared RyTru found some skill.


What would you do if he actually won a race? Like next week at Talladega where apparently even David Ragan can win.
 
2014-04-26 06:53:24 PM
And seeing how this is a race thread and cars are involved...

I got to drive this today:
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-26 06:54:21 PM

Are you not sports entertained?

img.fark.net



And now its time for...

Your weekly NASCAR thread checklist. Just like the NASCAR rulebook; ever-changing and updated on the fly

(Created by DanZero & bluorangefyre, with contributions from Professor Farksworth, QueenMamaBee, Mzltplx, and a bunch of other Fark racing fans!)
1) Every 25th post is "DANICA," every 500th post is "CHECKERED FLAG!" and every 1,100th post is, "Screw the gredunza, I just did the double!"
2) Brian France asking "ARE YOU NOT SPORTS ENTERTAINED?" before the 10th post
3) Somebody comes in with a humorous "left/right turn/going in circles" comment
4) BOOGITY in some form when race starts
5) Idols/Buddhas/Transformers/Reactors being fired up
6) Complaints about TNT & ESPN race coverage (or if in TNT/ESPN coverage, how bad it is and how we pine for FOX again) ONLY VALID FOR 2014!
7) While we were away
8) Green flag pit stops
9) The inevitable race commentator foul up
10) Phantom cautions - pace dingo appears after two, Mr. McMahon appears if it benefits the driver of car #48 and/or the person who probably doesn't deserve to drive car #3, or sets up a closer finish
11) "Austin Dillon driving car number three... the number made famous by the late/great Dale Earnhardt."
12) MLP deployment ONLY in the following instances: sad Rainbow Dash when Princess Crumplefenders (AKA Danica) inevitably wrecks, happy Rainbow Dash if she's running in the top 20, charging Rainbow Dash if she's in the top 10, and whatever the evil pony is that is the sister of the queen pony if we need some extra mojo to help the idols and Buddhas defeat car #48
13) Complaints and such if Jimmie Johnson wins again and celebrations from his fan(s)
14) Race is official when Kvapil, Reutimann, Wise or Danica bring out the caution (can be more than one)... causes referee dog to be deployed
15) BONUS OFFICIAL RACE: Mikey brings out the yellow
16) Something to do with potato salad and/or sugar free gummi bears
17) SPECIAL BONUS: One of us is actually at the track We got that one!
18) Something not meant to catch fire does
19) We are reminded about how a track is famous for The Big One/Darlington Stripe/Eating tires/Fuel Mileage races.
20) "Because #3 car"
21) Race is boring... what are you drinking?
22) "Lord baby Jesus, smite Logano's engine!"
23) Somebody asking why they don't run in the rain followed by a quick explaination why its not a good idea
24) "Nevermind that shiat, here comes Dick Trickle!"
25) DanZero's commercial recap from last week and running throughout the thread
 
2014-04-26 06:55:31 PM
OMG Mikey is on the Grid again.  Ugh.
 
2014-04-26 06:57:19 PM

Professor Farksworth: What would you do if he actually won a race?


We would all then have to repent.
 
2014-04-26 06:58:16 PM
..also Kyle Larson looks like a 12 year old
 
2014-04-26 06:59:29 PM
Michael Waltrip just gave his luck to Kyle Larson.....So, I'm guessing Larson will win in 2019?
 
2014-04-26 07:00:03 PM

crotchgrabber: And seeing how this is a race thread and cars are involved...

I got to drive this today:
[i.imgur.com image 850x634]


Shopping for a new car.  That one looks good!
 
2014-04-26 07:00:26 PM

crotchgrabber: And seeing how this is a race thread and cars are involved...

I got to drive this today:
[i.imgur.com image 850x634]


Sweet

I walked a 5k, went to work for a few hours, fixed my outdoor steps and took Lil Bee to a Family Fun Day. Note the lack of food mentioned. We got a pizza on the way home but I can't get unhungry. Lil Bee is next door at my mom's now and the cat better watch herself. I'm not beyond eating anything that gets too close.
 
2014-04-26 07:01:22 PM

QueenMamaBee: crotchgrabber: And seeing how this is a race thread and cars are involved...

I got to drive this today:
[i.imgur.com image 850x634]

Sweet

I walked a 5k, went to work for a few hours, fixed my outdoor steps and took Lil Bee to a Family Fun Day. Note the lack of food mentioned. We got a pizza on the way home but I can't get unhungry. Lil Bee is next door at my mom's now and the cat better watch herself. I'm not beyond eating anything that gets too close.


Would a smited Logano engine feed you a bit better?
 
2014-04-26 07:01:33 PM

ski9600: crotchgrabber: And seeing how this is a race thread and cars are involved...

I got to drive this today:
[i.imgur.com image 850x634]

Shopping for a new car.  That one looks good!


It's a freaking sweet ride. This one's my favorite though:
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-26 07:02:02 PM

ski9600: crotchgrabber: And seeing how this is a race thread and cars are involved...

I got to drive this today:
[i.imgur.com image 850x634]

Shopping for a new car.  That one looks good!


66 Mustangs also look good. I have one for sale. :)
 
2014-04-26 07:03:03 PM
in soviet Farkistan cat eat you


cdn.cutestpaw.com
 
2014-04-26 07:03:35 PM
That B-25 deserved more than 5 seconds FOX
 
2014-04-26 07:04:29 PM

QueenMamaBee: ski9600: crotchgrabber: And seeing how this is a race thread and cars are involved...

I got to drive this today:
[i.imgur.com image 850x634]

Shopping for a new car.  That one looks good!

66 Mustangs also look good. I have one for sale. :)


Y'all make me feel bad I had to drive a '64 Dodge Dart in high school.
static.cargurus.com
 
2014-04-26 07:04:37 PM
JJ and Gordon being disrespectful during prayer / Anthem.
 
2014-04-26 07:05:01 PM

Tenga: JJ and Gordon being disrespectful during prayer / Anthem.


Glad I wasn't the only one noticing. Talking to Chad about how to cheat tonight I see
 
2014-04-26 07:05:22 PM

ThisIsntMe: QueenMamaBee: ski9600: crotchgrabber: And seeing how this is a race thread and cars are involved...

I got to drive this today:
[i.imgur.com image 850x634]

Shopping for a new car.  That one looks good!

66 Mustangs also look good. I have one for sale. :)

Y'all make me feel bad I had to drive a '64 Dodge Dart in high school.
[static.cargurus.com image 850x637]


And that was in 1982.
 
2014-04-26 07:05:32 PM
::closes cooling vents, begins lifting Co-60 rods from graphite matrix, adjusts Pu/Ur mix::

Greetings, NASFARK.

Tiny Buddha is now online.
 
2014-04-26 07:05:37 PM
Until boogity time this is now a food porn thread

cdn2.hauteliving.com
 
2014-04-26 07:05:49 PM
What is the over under on commercials obscuring laps run?   45% of laps under commercial?
 
2014-04-26 07:06:24 PM
Toyota guy didn't mention my specific Toyota model (that is currently awaiting a fix for two recalls). I feel slighted.
 
2014-04-26 07:07:06 PM

DanZero: That B-25 deserved more than 5 seconds FOX


Agreed.  Show that sucker all the way over the track and climbing away.  Amazing to have those old birds operational.
 
2014-04-26 07:07:58 PM
C'mon Homer Buddha, put the whammy on JJ!

i57.tinypic.com
 
2014-04-26 07:08:02 PM

Daedalus27: What is the over under on commercials obscuring laps run?   45% of laps under commercial?


If I read Dan's stats right...they average about 30%.
 
2014-04-26 07:08:18 PM
www.bonappetit.com
 
2014-04-26 07:09:20 PM

Daedalus27: DanZero: That B-25 deserved more than 5 seconds FOX

Agreed.  Show that sucker all the way over the track and climbing away.  Amazing to have those old birds operational.


We get an old Ford three engine beast for fly bys for historic races.
 
2014-04-26 07:09:31 PM
QueenMamaBee:

66 Mustangs also look good. I have one for sale. :)

I miss my '72.
 
2014-04-26 07:10:07 PM
img.food.com
 
2014-04-26 07:10:13 PM

p0nk: QueenMamaBee:

66 Mustangs also look good. I have one for sale. :)

I miss my '72.


I miss my '66 GT350.
 
2014-04-26 07:11:06 PM

crotchgrabber: ski9600: crotchgrabber: And seeing how this is a race thread and cars are involved...

I got to drive this today:
[i.imgur.com image 850x634]

Shopping for a new car.  That one looks good!

It's a freaking sweet ride. This one's my favorite though:
[i.imgur.com image 850x634]


That thing is beautiful. Going to listen to some Monkees during the pace laps now.
 
2014-04-26 07:11:08 PM

Daedalus27: DanZero: That B-25 deserved more than 5 seconds FOX

Agreed.  Show that sucker all the way over the track and climbing away.  Amazing to have those old birds operational.


I had put out all my reports just now but NoScript threw up an XSS warning.

It has been around 30% of the laps missed for FOX this year so far. 45% is more a TNT/ESPN number
 
2014-04-26 07:11:33 PM

DanZero: QueenMamaBee: crotchgrabber: And seeing how this is a race thread and cars are involved...

I got to drive this today:
[i.imgur.com image 850x634]

Sweet

I walked a 5k, went to work for a few hours, fixed my outdoor steps and took Lil Bee to a Family Fun Day. Note the lack of food mentioned. We got a pizza on the way home but I can't get unhungry. Lil Bee is next door at my mom's now and the cat better watch herself. I'm not beyond eating anything that gets too close.

Would a smited Logano engine feed you a bit better?


Much. But I'm still hungry
 
2014-04-26 07:11:48 PM
www.copykat.com
 
2014-04-26 07:12:04 PM
Cooling flaps closed...

Power level rising...

20%....40%.....60%....80%....100%....

Acquiring target 48....

Locking on to coordinates 37.59169°N 77.42091°W

Preparing to fire....


Alright so this thing hasn't been to full power in about three weeks, so...

www.quickmeme.com
 
2014-04-26 07:13:09 PM
Race 1: Daytona 500 - February 23, 2014
TOTAL COMMERCIAL BREAKS: 28
LAPS MISSED: 57 (28.5% of race)

Race 2: Phoenix #1 - March 2, 2014
TOTAL COMMERCIAL BREAKS: 18
LAPS MISSED: 115 (36.8% of race)

Race 3 - Las Vegas - March 9, 2014
NO REPORT due to Brian France catching wind of my activities and having NASCAR officials park my laptop for the race

Race 4 - Bristol #1 - March 16, 2014
TOTAL COMMERCIAL BREAKS: 26
LAPS MISSED: Around 150 (30% of race)

Race 5 - Fontana - March 23, 2014
TOTAL COMMERCIAL BREAKS: 18
LAPS MISSED: 71 (35% of race)

Race 6 - Martinsville #1 - March 30, 2014
TOTAL COMMERCIAL BREAKS: 18
LAPS MISSED: 123 (24.6% of race)

Race 7 - Texas #1 - April 7, 2014
TOTAL COMMERCIAL BREAKS: 20
LAPS MISSED: 102 (30.5% of race)

Race 8 - Darlington - April 12, 2014
TOTAL COMMERCIAL BREAKS: 19
LAPS MISSED: 100 (27% of race)
 
2014-04-26 07:14:13 PM
Does that put Larson in the non-points race at Daytona next year?
 
2014-04-26 07:14:24 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-26 07:14:28 PM

mikaloyd: Until boogity time this is now a food porn thread

[cdn2.hauteliving.com image 850x768]


that looks glorious!
 
2014-04-26 07:14:58 PM
What's the over/under on how many laps Larson stays up front?  2?
 
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