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(io9)   U.S. military expert unveils strategy for deploying Godzilla in war. Wait, what?   (io9.com) divider line 100
    More: Strange, United States, Godzilla, U.S. military, U.S. Naval War College, Anthony Cordesman, center of gravity, international relations, military operation plan  
•       •       •

7538 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Apr 2014 at 9:17 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



100 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-25 08:22:42 PM  
Are they going to equip him with a giant lightsaber?
 
2014-04-25 08:53:05 PM  
What if Godzilla had fought for the Japanese during WWII?

Nuke his ass. Who gives a shiat where his center of gravity is?

/stupid article
 
2014-04-25 09:19:35 PM  
Hey, "wait, what?" is back like the measles - and almost as irritating.
 
2014-04-25 09:21:25 PM  
*best said in your worst Japanese accent *

Oh no! It's Godzilla!
 
gja
2014-04-25 09:21:38 PM  
He wants to deploy Godzilla? So Gov Christie is gonna go to war?

/raaaawwwr
 
2014-04-25 09:22:41 PM  
History shows again and again ...
 
2014-04-25 09:24:19 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-25 09:31:39 PM  

veedeevadeevoodee: History shows again and again ...


Oh no! There goes Tokyo!
 
2014-04-25 09:32:00 PM  
Pfft, godzilla. Cthulhu is the monster to have on your side.
 
2014-04-25 09:33:22 PM  

Mark Ratner: What if Godzilla had fought for the Japanese during WWII?

Nuke his ass. Who gives a shiat where his center of gravity is?

/stupid article


It's Godzilla, doofus. He was born and raised amid atomic fire. You'd only be making him stronger.
 
2014-04-25 09:33:58 PM  
Marketing.
 
2014-04-25 09:34:05 PM  
Destroying the "center of gravity" isn't new. It's been the primary objective of warfare since Australiopithicus first started flinging poo.
 
2014-04-25 09:35:31 PM  
Wow..... I can see maybe taking elements from certain books and movies like world war z an Enders game, but very few. Godzilla deployment strategy? Complete waste of time. There is no reason to even compile a strategy for this. Stick with "the art of war." That's actually still a very relevant reference. And a good read.
 
2014-04-25 09:38:43 PM  
So, we should attack something even if it's the absolute most fortified thing the opponent holds? That seems like great in concept, very poor in execution.
 
2014-04-25 09:39:25 PM  

Oldiron_79: Pfft, godzilla. Cthulhu is the monster to have on your side.


fc05.deviantart.net
 
2014-04-25 09:40:58 PM  

fusillade762: Oldiron_79: Pfft, godzilla. Cthulhu is the monster to have on your side.


That...would be bad.
 
2014-04-25 09:44:16 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: So, we should attack something even if it's the absolute most fortified thing the opponent holds? That seems like great in concept, very poor in execution.


dogfort.wikidot.com

Dog Fort is secure. Over.
 
2014-04-25 09:45:02 PM  
Deploying Godzilla?

That's always been my euphemism for taking out my penis...
 
2014-04-25 09:45:02 PM  

Gyrfalcon: fusillade762: Oldiron_79: Pfft, godzilla. Cthulhu is the monster to have on your side.

That...would be bad.


Not for long.
 
2014-04-25 09:50:08 PM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Mark Ratner: What if Godzilla had fought for the Japanese during WWII?

Nuke his ass. Who gives a shiat where his center of gravity is?

/stupid article

It's Godzilla, doofus. He was born and raised amid atomic fire. You'd only be making him stronger.


He must have gained time travel powers too, because Godzilla wasn't even around (for whatever reason that particular instalment suggests) until 1953-54.

At any rate, using a Godzilla strategy and finding the 'centre of gravity' in that manner is pretty short sighted considering what the USA and allies actually did to Japan and Germany. The centre of gravity for the US in the Pacific war was San Francisco.
 
2014-04-25 09:54:28 PM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Mark Ratner: What if Godzilla had fought for the Japanese during WWII?

Nuke his ass. Who gives a shiat where his center of gravity is?

/stupid article

It's Godzilla, doofus. He was born and raised amid atomic fire. You'd only be making him stronger.


Nuke his ass? And create more Godzillas? That's a fine strategy right there. If I'm sick I certainly don't get better by making myself more sick. What if we nuked him ten times? That's eleven Godzillas! Eleven! "Nuke his ass," he says. "Who gives a shiat," he says.

I bet you'd get eaten or smooshed first. Me? I'd find his center of radioactive gravity and heroically survive.
 
2014-04-25 09:57:01 PM  
Deploy all the Godzilla's you want.  Apparently all you need to do the placate them these days is feed them a gd Snickers.
 
2014-04-25 09:58:52 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: So, we should attack something even if it's the absolute most fortified thing the opponent holds? That seems like great in concept, very poor in execution.

[dogfort.wikidot.com image 375x397]

Dog Fort is secure. Over.


i.imgur.com

Red Lobster standing by
 
2014-04-25 09:59:29 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: So, we should attack something even if it's the absolute most fortified thing the opponent holds? That seems like great in concept, very poor in execution.


I think he's more saying "Choose the right targets for your resources to be most effective."

Take the Secret Service. They don't just guard the US presidents past and present, they also go after counterfeiters. So if they suddenly get a lot fake bills in Minneapolis from the same plates, and they know there's case of money in one guy's basement, a bunch of ink and paper in another guy's car, and the plates are on their way to the airport, but there's only one team: they should go after the plates first, because that will stop the whole operation while if they get away, god only knows when and where they'll be used to make more bills.

Of course in real life, you would be able to simultaneously hit all three targets because of a large infrastructure of law enforcement, but you get the idea. War is like that. If you have an objective, focus on targets that will complete that objective. If the enemies are going to launch missiles, focus on taking out the missile launchers. Don't prioritize their jeeps depo.
 
2014-04-25 09:59:53 PM  
That has to be the worst piece of writing on the topic of military strategy I've ever read. If this is the sort of thing the Pentagon is paying money for these days they should go back to buying $600 hammers and $800 toilet seats.
 
2014-04-25 10:03:05 PM  
Godzilla doesn't have a center of gravity, he IS a center of gravity.

/Just finished staff college and it sucked
 
2014-04-25 10:13:13 PM  
bill_01915: " That has to be the worst piece of writing on the topic of military strategy I've ever read. If this is the sort of thing the Pentagon is paying..."


I was typing almost that exact sentence, when I noticed you already been there...

It is just the worst article I've ever read on military strategy.   Ever.
 
2014-04-25 10:14:24 PM  
But wouldn't deploying Godzilla, by definition, cross the Godzilla Threshold?
 
2014-04-25 10:14:34 PM  
These folks are on the same track http://worldwarkaiju.com/
 
2014-04-25 10:21:27 PM  

fusillade762: Oldiron_79: Pfft, godzilla. Cthulhu is the monster to have on your side.


One of my favorite bits of Cthulhu art is a pic of Aquaman riding on Cthulhu's head pointing forward with a caption hat said "useless they said, stupid powers they said"
 
2014-04-25 10:21:57 PM  
Everybody know that Japan has robots. And after Fukushima, they probably have superpowers, too.

Our only hope is to send Justin Bieber on tour over there, and hope their spirit crumbles from the inside.
 
2014-04-25 10:22:23 PM  

Gyrfalcon: fusillade762: Oldiron_79: Pfft, godzilla. Cthulhu is the monster to have on your side.

That...would be bad.


The crazy game that nation states play are bad and when some of them form into empires doubly so.
 
2014-04-25 10:25:16 PM  
Time to get the Jaegers ready?
 
2014-04-25 10:26:19 PM  

stratagos: But wouldn't deploying Godzilla, by definition, cross the Godzilla Threshold?


Oddly, no. TFA seems to think the Big G is a controllable force.

Fool.
 
2014-04-25 10:27:03 PM  

knight_on_the_rail: Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Mark Ratner: What if Godzilla had fought for the Japanese during WWII?

Nuke his ass. Who gives a shiat where his center of gravity is?

/stupid article

It's Godzilla, doofus. He was born and raised amid atomic fire. You'd only be making him stronger.

Nuke his ass? And create more Godzillas? That's a fine strategy right there. If I'm sick I certainly don't get better by making myself more sick. What if we nuked him ten times? That's eleven Godzillas! Eleven! "Nuke his ass," he says. "Who gives a shiat," he says.

I bet you'd get eaten or smooshed first. Me? I'd find his center of radioactive gravity and heroically survive.


Whatever, dude. You're telling me if you shoved a nuke up Godzilla's ass, he wouldn't die? But create more Godzillas? Godzilla isn't a radioactive Gremlin ffs. Your logic is all wrong.
 
2014-04-25 10:31:32 PM  

Mr. Ekshun: veedeevadeevoodee: History shows again and again ...

Oh no! There goes Tokyo!


Go go Godzilla!


/WooooOOOOooooooOooooOo
 
2014-04-25 10:33:47 PM  

Mark Ratner: knight_on_the_rail: Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Mark Ratner: What if Godzilla had fought for the Japanese during WWII?

Nuke his ass. Who gives a shiat where his center of gravity is?

/stupid article

It's Godzilla, doofus. He was born and raised amid atomic fire. You'd only be making him stronger.

Nuke his ass? And create more Godzillas? That's a fine strategy right there. If I'm sick I certainly don't get better by making myself more sick. What if we nuked him ten times? That's eleven Godzillas! Eleven! "Nuke his ass," he says. "Who gives a shiat," he says.

I bet you'd get eaten or smooshed first. Me? I'd find his center of radioactive gravity and heroically survive.

Whatever, dude. You're telling me if you shoved a nuke up Godzilla's ass, he wouldn't die? But create more Godzillas? Godzilla isn't a radioactive Gremlin ffs. Your logic is all wrong.


Logic? In THIS thread?

Surely you jest!
 
2014-04-25 10:34:02 PM  

Mark Ratner: knight_on_the_rail: Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Mark Ratner: What if Godzilla had fought for the Japanese during WWII?

Nuke his ass. Who gives a shiat where his center of gravity is?

/stupid article

It's Godzilla, doofus. He was born and raised amid atomic fire. You'd only be making him stronger.

Nuke his ass? And create more Godzillas? That's a fine strategy right there. If I'm sick I certainly don't get better by making myself more sick. What if we nuked him ten times? That's eleven Godzillas! Eleven! "Nuke his ass," he says. "Who gives a shiat," he says.

I bet you'd get eaten or smooshed first. Me? I'd find his center of radioactive gravity and heroically survive.

Whatever, dude. You're telling me if you shoved a nuke up Godzilla's ass, he wouldn't die? But create more Godzillas? Godzilla isn't a radioactive Gremlin ffs. Your logic is all wrong.


Well the comic books in general jumped the shark when the heroes went from just being faster than a speeding bullet and stronger than a locomotive to being like they could be thrown into the center of the sun and not die powerful.
 
2014-04-25 10:36:25 PM  
img4.wikia.nocookie.net
Personally I'd more into this option... because sooner or later the bigger lizard's going to go rouge.
 
2014-04-25 10:40:13 PM  

Oldiron_79: fusillade762: Oldiron_79: Pfft, godzilla. Cthulhu is the monster to have on your side.

One of my favorite bits of Cthulhu art is a pic of Aquaman riding on Cthulhu's head pointing forward with a caption hat said "useless they said, stupid powers they said"


Super Friends really did a number on Aquaman's reputation. Despite his horrible portrayal he is actually pretty awesome in the comics.
 
2014-04-25 10:41:26 PM  

Noishkel: Personally I'd more into this option... because sooner or later the bigger lizard's going to go rouge.


Evangelion?

/wait, what?
 
2014-04-25 10:44:37 PM  
Butler's meta-analysis of Godzilla

So Butler gathered together all the empirical studies that have been performed on Godzilla and calculated the average effect size?
 
2014-04-25 10:47:53 PM  

Noishkel: Personally I'd more into this option... because sooner or later the bigger lizard's going to go rouge.


What if it goes full lipstick instead? Then what do we do? Smarty pants.
 
2014-04-25 10:54:54 PM  

knight_on_the_rail: Noishkel: Personally I'd more into this option... because sooner or later the bigger lizard's going to go rouge.

What if it goes full lipstick instead? Then what do we do? Smarty pants.


I don't know.  Get a bigger 'stick' then.  Go full on SDF-1 on em.
 
2014-04-25 10:55:53 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com

I'd rather have Cloverfield on my side. We saw how good the military was against him!

PS, I don't remember the name of this chick from the movie, but I'd certainly pee in her butt, with authority!

www.wearysloth.com
 
2014-04-25 10:58:07 PM  

kling_klang_bed: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x333]

I'd rather have Cloverfield on my side. We saw how good the military was against him!

PS, I don't remember the name of this chick from the movie, but I'd certainly pee in her butt, with authority!

[www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]


Holy shiat, that tiny little GIF on my computer screen nearly made me nauseous.  I can't imagine what watching that on a big screen would have done to me.
 
2014-04-25 10:58:28 PM  

Egoy3k: Oldiron_79: fusillade762: Oldiron_79: Pfft, godzilla. Cthulhu is the monster to have on your side.

One of my favorite bits of Cthulhu art is a pic of Aquaman riding on Cthulhu's head pointing forward with a caption hat said "useless they said, stupid powers they said"

Super Friends really did a number on Aquaman's reputation. Despite his horrible portrayal he is actually pretty awesome in the comics.


Super friends Aquaman is pretty pathetic. Other than his control of sea creatures and basically being able to like fly underwater he is normal. You or me could kick his ass as long as we arent near the ocean where he can seek a shark on us or something.

Comic Book Aquaman is pretty much like Superman strong and tough, he just has the sea creatures control and the underwater like flying rather than flight and heat vision.
 
2014-04-25 11:07:07 PM  

jake_lex: kling_klang_bed: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x333]

I'd rather have Cloverfield on my side. We saw how good the military was against him!

PS, I don't remember the name of this chick from the movie, but I'd certainly pee in her butt, with authority!

[www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

Holy shiat, that tiny little GIF on my computer screen nearly made me nauseous.  I can't imagine what watching that on a big screen would have done to me.


Lol, it'd rock your titties off! I actually got really really stoned outside of the theater with a friend when it came out, then went in the see it. Fun times!!!!
 
2014-04-25 11:22:59 PM  
i172.photobucket.com
Godzilla asks why should he fight for the US Army. Godzilla say everytime he came to the United States all the army did was shoot at him and try to hurt him.
 
2014-04-25 11:23:27 PM  

kling_klang_bed: I'd rather have Cloverfield on my side. We saw how good the military was against him!

PS, I don't remember the name of this chick from the movie, but I'd certainly pee in her butt, with authority!


Funny enough I saw a video on the Internet just the other day where a group of gentlemen did precisely that with a different woman. Used a speculum and all for the task.

Filled her right up with pee.
 
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