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(The Local)   "I know I have a dead body in my car dripping blood onto the road, but it's okay. That's my job"   (thelocal.de) divider line 48
    More: Silly, street artist, blood  
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7981 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Apr 2014 at 1:35 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-25 12:42:37 PM
Better get to his house quick...

img.fark.net
 
2014-04-25 01:39:09 PM
Now they won't suspect him next time.
 
2014-04-25 01:39:15 PM
"It is a very painful and unpleasant thing to happen to the undertaker,"

I reckon it wasn't too pleasant for the lady in the car, either.
 
2014-04-25 01:40:13 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: "It is a very painful and unpleasant thing to happen to the undertaker,"

I reckon it wasn't too pleasant for the lady's family in the car, either.

 
2014-04-25 01:40:49 PM

UberDave: Better get to his house quick...

[img.fark.net image 630x345]



You know cops tend to notice shiat like you're driving a car drenched in farking blood.
 
2014-04-25 01:43:16 PM
Someone responded to the article that the police were:

Dead wrong.

You make-a me laugh......15,000 cars!!!
 
2014-04-25 01:45:08 PM
ddpozwy746ijz.cloudfront.net

I told you to soak that shiat up with blankets and quilts!!
 
2014-04-25 01:47:53 PM
Unless you drive your car reaaaaally slowly all over the city, yelling 'bring out your dead!' in a megaphone, it's gonna be really suspicious to have a dead body in your car.
 
2014-04-25 01:49:46 PM
"It is a very painful and unpleasant thing to happen to the undertaker,"

Oh, poor guy...

Maybe, just maybe...

YOU SHOULD TREAT THE DECEASED WITH SOME RESPECT, PROPERLY SEAL THE FARKING BODY BAG AND TRANSPORT THEM IN A MORE DIGNIFIED MANNER YOU INCONSIDERATE DOUCHE!

/Work with funeral homes & know how far down the ladder of suck you'd have to go to become this guy.
 
2014-04-25 01:51:39 PM
Hefty, Hefty, Hefty!
 
2014-04-25 01:52:00 PM
So face the car the other way. Jeez people, what's the BFD?
 
2014-04-25 01:57:02 PM
There was a cable show years ago about Mortician School. Do yourself a favor and get cremated.
 
2014-04-25 02:03:50 PM
In before the nocountryforoldmenflatbed.jpg
 
2014-04-25 02:06:08 PM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

Neatness and dignity in the funeral business used to count for something
 
2014-04-25 02:11:35 PM

Harry Freakstorm: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 259x194]

Neatness and dignity in the funeral business used to count for something


These are tough economic times.
 
2014-04-25 02:15:45 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: YOU SHOULD TREAT THE DECEASED WITH SOME RESPECT, PROPERLY SEAL THE FARKING BODY BAG AND TRANSPORT THEM IN A MORE DIGNIFIED MANNER YOU INCONSIDERATE DOUCHE!


Bah. Vultures.

The only people on earth who get paid to make Grandpa look like Grandma.
 
2014-04-25 02:19:17 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: "It is a very painful and unpleasant thing to happen to the undertaker,"

Oh, poor guy...

Maybe, just maybe...

YOU SHOULD TREAT THE DECEASED WITH SOME RESPECT, PROPERLY SEAL THE FARKING BODY BAG AND TRANSPORT THEM IN A MORE DIGNIFIED MANNER YOU INCONSIDERATE DOUCHE!

/Work with funeral homes & know how far down the ladder of suck you'd have to go to become this guy.


So they can remove their fillings, sell their pacemakers to a third world country, and shame the family into paying too much for a box to bury an empty shell.
 
2014-04-25 02:27:54 PM

CygnusDarius: Harry Freakstorm: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 259x194]

Neatness and dignity in the funeral business used to count for something

These are tough economic times.


Well, if you want a casket AND a burial, you're gonna have to scrimp on the hearse.  It's not like you were gonna enjoy the ride anyhow.
 
2014-04-25 02:28:44 PM
Here for the Bonnie situation, satisfied.
 
2014-04-25 02:32:03 PM
Car probably starting overheating..

i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-04-25 02:34:09 PM
That is precisely why I never bought a car from Phillips Motors, I don't need a dead hooker in the trunk, again.

/dirty work
 
2014-04-25 02:38:23 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
My friend is a Neural Pathologist
FedEX delivers brains to her house from all over the country for examination
She has a nosy neighbor who sees trucks drop off ice-chests and wonders why
I think my friend should let her neighbor in and show her around the laboratory
She says no
 
2014-04-25 02:40:36 PM

tinyarena: FedEX delivers brains to her house from all over the country for examination


To....her house?

Don't most pathologists...you know..have an office?
 
2014-04-25 02:42:58 PM

theflatline: Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: "It is a very painful and unpleasant thing to happen to the undertaker,"

Oh, poor guy...

Maybe, just maybe...

YOU SHOULD TREAT THE DECEASED WITH SOME RESPECT, PROPERLY SEAL THE FARKING BODY BAG AND TRANSPORT THEM IN A MORE DIGNIFIED MANNER YOU INCONSIDERATE DOUCHE!

/Work with funeral homes & know how far down the ladder of suck you'd have to go to become this guy.

So they can remove their fillings, sell their pacemakers to a third world country, and shame the family into paying too much for a box to bury an empty shell.


Good point.

I had a friend who ran the local funeral parlor and the local flower shop...

I pointed out, all he was lacking was screwing the widows to complete the trifecta.

/That being said, some are better than others and they're almost all better than this schmuck.
 
2014-04-25 02:44:25 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: "It is a very painful and unpleasant thing to happen to the undertaker,"

Oh, poor guy...

Maybe, just maybe...

YOU SHOULD TREAT THE DECEASED WITH SOME RESPECT, PROPERLY SEAL THE FARKING BODY BAG AND TRANSPORT THEM IN A MORE DIGNIFIED MANNER YOU INCONSIDERATE DOUCHE!

/Work with funeral homes & know how far down the ladder of suck you'd have to go to become this guy.


Me too.

<rant>
Even though this is in Germany, a similar incident in Maryland caused the implementation of standards and practices including (but not limited to):

Sunday go-to-meeting clothes.
No smoking, eating or drinking while a body is in the vehicle.
No stopping before your destination with a body in the vehicle.
Enough body bags to support a frontal assault on Rambo.
Hazmat style disposable covers (scrubs, booties, face shield etc) To be worn over the aforementioned dress clothes.
Special (expensive) liner tray.
Special training.
Passport style photo for I.D card with a registration number.
Special inspection, with a windshield sticker and registration number. (must match I.D. card number)
The person who gives/receives the body has to go out to the vehicle and check that those numbers do match. Every.Single.Time.
Black-out window tint on all body vehicles
New license fee. Depending on the number of employees Either $300.00 or $700.00 (they counted the owner as an employee to get our fee to $700.00).
Transport fees are now based on where you picked up the body, instead of from W.M.H.S..Not bad if the body was picked up in Frostburg (west of Cumberland), but if you drive 40 min east to Little Orleans, pick up the body, bring it back to Cumberland, and transport it from W.M.H.S., you still only get paid for the distance between Little Orleans and Baltimore (a $140.00 difference).

The state of Maryland has already canceled the training sessions 3 times and have yet to figure out the inspection parameters, or who will perform them.
It's going to cost my boss thousands to get up to speed with the new regulations, and frankly, it blows goats.

</rant>
 
2014-04-25 02:45:47 PM
I had a boss who had a previous career as a forensic anthropologist. She was called to a scene where some scallop fisherman had dragged up a body. The state troopers on the scene did not want to deal with the... remains... so they persuaded her to throw it (him?) in the back of her pickup (it was headed to her lab anyways). Of course she got stopped for speeding, and ended up spread-eagled on the hood of her truck by two very freaked out local cops.

She used the fact that she had been nearly arrested for murder as a management tool.
 
2014-04-25 02:50:12 PM
http://www.thelocal.de/20140425/german-murder-police-called-to-underta kers-car


German murder police?
 
2014-04-25 02:51:16 PM

Odin's Other Eye: I had a boss who had a previous career as a forensic anthropologist. She was called to a scene where some scallop fisherman had dragged up a body. The state troopers on the scene did not want to deal with the... remains... so they persuaded her to throw it (him?) in the back of her pickup (it was headed to her lab anyways). Of course she got stopped for speeding, and ended up spread-eagled on the hood of her truck by two very freaked out local cops.

She used the fact that she had been nearly arrested for murder as a management tool.


Now you know the importance of why some people putting covers on the beds of their trucks.
 
2014-04-25 02:52:08 PM

hardinparamedic: tinyarena: FedEX delivers brains to her house from all over the country for examination

To....her house?

Don't most pathologists...you know..have an office?


good question, I have no idea
she is the County Coroner for two counties in California
flies all over the country to testify, and cuts brains at home
she is soooo happy!

When I have a bad day I call her and hear all about the latest "de-comp" they brought in
It cheers me right up!
 
2014-04-25 02:52:55 PM

ZMugg: It's going to cost my boss thousands to get up to speed with the new regulations, and frankly, it blows goats.</rant>


My band's name just became "Blows Goats." Thanks!

/Should get us a lot of gigs.
 
2014-04-25 02:55:18 PM

mama2tnt: ZMugg: It's going to cost my boss thousands to get up to speed with the new regulations, and frankly, it blows goats.</rant>

My band's name just became "Blows Goats." Thanks!

/Should get us a lot of gigs.


Genuine LOL. Thanks, I needed that.
 
2014-04-25 02:57:10 PM

lack of warmth: Odin's Other Eye: I had a boss who had a previous career as a forensic anthropologist. She was called to a scene where some scallop fisherman had dragged up a body. The state troopers on the scene did not want to deal with the... remains... so they persuaded her to throw it (him?) in the back of her pickup (it was headed to her lab anyways). Of course she got stopped for speeding, and ended up spread-eagled on the hood of her truck by two very freaked out local cops.

She used the fact that she had been nearly arrested for murder as a management tool.

Now you know the importance of why some people putting covers on the beds of their trucks.


and not speeding when you have a body in the back of a vehicle?
 
2014-04-25 02:59:22 PM
The Local it was the first time officers had been called to a body being transported by an undertaker. "It is a very painful and unpleasant thing to happen to the undertaker," he said.

Poor Undertaker. First he's defeated at Wrestlemania, now he's getting harassed by German Murder Police. The guy just can't get a break.
 
2014-04-25 03:00:14 PM
And afterwards:

i109.piczo.com

(might as well get that one out of the way)
 
2014-04-25 03:05:51 PM

kling_klang_bed: And afterwards:

[i109.piczo.com image 160x120]

(might as well get that one out of the way)


That has to be a great job for an assman.
 
2014-04-25 03:06:38 PM

ZMugg: Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: "It is a very painful and unpleasant thing to happen to the undertaker,"

Oh, poor guy...

Maybe, just maybe...

YOU SHOULD TREAT THE DECEASED WITH SOME RESPECT, PROPERLY SEAL THE FARKING BODY BAG AND TRANSPORT THEM IN A MORE DIGNIFIED MANNER YOU INCONSIDERATE DOUCHE!

/Work with funeral homes & know how far down the ladder of suck you'd have to go to become this guy.

Me too.

<rant>
Even though this is in Germany, a similar incident in Maryland caused the implementation of standards and practices including (but not limited to):

Sunday go-to-meeting clothes.
No smoking, eating or drinking while a body is in the vehicle.
No stopping before your destination with a body in the vehicle.
Enough body bags to support a frontal assault on Rambo.
Hazmat style disposable covers (scrubs, booties, face shield etc) To be worn over the aforementioned dress clothes.
Special (expensive) liner tray.
Special training.
Passport style photo for I.D card with a registration number.
Special inspection, with a windshield sticker and registration number. (must match I.D. card number)
The person who gives/receives the body has to go out to the vehicle and check that those numbers do match. Every.Single.Time.
Black-out window tint on all body vehicles
New license fee. Depending on the number of employees Either $300.00 or $700.00 (they counted the owner as an employee to get our fee to $700.00).
Transport fees are now based on where you picked up the body, instead of from W.M.H.S..Not bad if the body was picked up in Frostburg (west of Cumberland), but if you drive 40 min east to Little Orleans, pick up the body, bring it back to Cumberland, and transport it from W.M.H.S., you still only get paid for the distance between Little Orleans and Baltimore (a $140.00 difference).

The state of Maryland has already canceled the training sessions 3 times and have yet to figure out the inspection parameters, or who will perform them.
It's going to cost my boss th ...


OK, well that seems a bit much...

I was looking for something more along the lines of...

Don't pick up the deceased in your Miata.

/I hope you guys have given the chain smoking, wanna-be tennis pro that picked up the state senator's mother a sound thrashing.
 
2014-04-25 03:07:18 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: "It is a very painful and unpleasant thing to happen to the undertaker,"

Oh, poor guy...

Maybe, just maybe...

YOU SHOULD TREAT THE DECEASED WITH SOME RESPECT, PROPERLY SEAL THE FARKING BODY BAG AND TRANSPORT THEM IN A MORE DIGNIFIED MANNER YOU INCONSIDERATE DOUCHE!

/Work with funeral homes & know how far down the ladder of suck you'd have to go to become this guy.


It's possible that the person who picked up the body is an apprentice and they made the assumption that the folks in the hospital morgue knew what they were doing when they closed the body bag.  It sounds like a horrible mistake, and I'm very sure that this person will never make it again.

What's more curious is that there was enough blood to leak from the body bag and out of the car.  Was there blood accumulated in the body bag?  Dead blood doesn't flow the same as from a live body, and unless the guy was parked on a 30 or more degree angle, I don't see how even after spending upt to 30 minutes* to pick up a death certificate would account for enough blood for someone to notice.  Then again, I guess it must be possible since it happened.

*number pulled from my ass, before anyone hops all over it
 
2014-04-25 03:09:09 PM

imfallen_angel: lack of warmth: Odin's Other Eye: I had a boss who had a previous career as a forensic anthropologist. She was called to a scene where some scallop fisherman had dragged up a body. The state troopers on the scene did not want to deal with the... remains... so they persuaded her to throw it (him?) in the back of her pickup (it was headed to her lab anyways). Of course she got stopped for speeding, and ended up spread-eagled on the hood of her truck by two very freaked out local cops.

She used the fact that she had been nearly arrested for murder as a management tool.

Now you know the importance of why some people putting covers on the beds of their trucks.

and not speeding when you have a body in the back of a vehicle?


Strange you should mention that. I have gotten out of a speeding ticket because I had decomp in the back (of a Windstar). It was a Md. State cop familiar with the company I work for, and I had all the required paperwork, so just a warning. State cops appreciate that we do the nasty work so they don't have to and, occasionally, cut us some slack.
 
2014-04-25 03:13:10 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: "It is a very painful and unpleasant thing to happen to the undertaker,"

Oh, poor guy...

Maybe, just maybe...

YOU SHOULD TREAT THE DECEASED WITH SOME RESPECT, PROPERLY SEAL THE FARKING BODY BAG AND TRANSPORT THEM IN A MORE DIGNIFIED MANNER YOU INCONSIDERATE DOUCHE!

/Work with funeral homes & know how far down the ladder of suck you'd have to go to become this guy.


They're dead. They don't give a fark what you do with them. Hollow out the lady's skull and use it for a cereal bowl. She won't care, at all. fark this stupid "dead meat is sacred" attitude.
 
2014-04-25 03:14:25 PM
gees.  he really took losing to Lesnar pretty hard, didn't he?
 
2014-04-25 03:28:16 PM

tinyarena: good question, I have no idea
she is the County Coroner for two counties in California
flies all over the country to testify, and cuts brains at home


cdn5.movieclips.com

Mmmmm. What a yummy image you've put in my head. Thanks.
 
2014-04-25 03:36:34 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: Don't pick up the deceased in your Miata

rusted out old station wagon.

/I hope you guys have given the chain smoking, wanna-be tennis pro t-shirt and shorts wearing, unshaven bums that picked up the state senator's mother a decomposing body by dragging it through the hallway of apartment building without a body bag or a cart (they used a bed-sheet)  a sound thrashing.
Fixed for truth.

They didn't work for us, but this is the incident that lead to all the regulations I spoke of earlier. The people involved claimed to be from one removal company, but were from another. It was a 'false flag' operation to give the victimized transport company a bad name.
It screwed us all.
 
2014-04-25 04:40:57 PM
I do "fresh corpse" transport, so I'm getting a kick....
 
2014-04-25 04:44:23 PM

ArcadianRefugee: I do "fresh corpse" transport, so I'm getting a kick....


Lucky you.
 
2014-04-25 06:10:11 PM

ZMugg: ArcadianRefugee: I do "fresh corpse" transport, so I'm getting a kick....

Lucky you.


It's beer money. Although I suppose I shouldn't say fresh corpse, as it's possible for me to get called for a Bones/CSI-style "Hey! Guess what we found way out in the woods?" or "Apparently, he died sometime during the holidays and no one noticed he was missing until today...."

Not yet, though.
 
2014-04-25 06:26:16 PM
www.wpromote.com
Problem, officer?
 
2014-04-25 06:29:30 PM

ArcadianRefugee: ZMugg: ArcadianRefugee: I do "fresh corpse" transport, so I'm getting a kick....

Lucky you.

It's beer money. Although I suppose I shouldn't say fresh corpse, as it's possible for me to get called for a Bones/CSI-style "Hey! Guess what we found way out in the woods?" or "Apparently, he died sometime during the holidays and no one noticed he was missing until today...."

Not yet, though.


The highlighted portion of your post is what 45% of my trips entail.
 
2014-04-25 09:22:03 PM
weknowmemes.com
 
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