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(Slate)   California's fire season has been expanded a bit, now runs from May 1st to April 30th   (slate.com) divider line 34
    More: Scary, Southern California, California Department of Forestry, fire protection, Santa Barbara County, Glendora, Big Sur, United States National Forest, Department of Fisheries  
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2501 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2014 at 1:56 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-24 01:58:28 PM
a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2014-04-24 02:01:39 PM
They should raise taxes.
That fixes everything.
 
2014-04-24 02:03:55 PM

ts3.mm.bing.net


*looks at Canada's water supply*

 
2014-04-24 02:06:52 PM
That's hawt.
 
2014-04-24 02:09:54 PM
Is that inclusive of the end date?
 
2014-04-24 02:15:30 PM
Knows what this means.

i58.tinypic.com
 
2014-04-24 02:16:36 PM
Coincides exactly with Seattle's rainy season.
 
2014-04-24 02:22:39 PM

EdNortonsTwin: [ts3.mm.bing.net image 300x300]
*looks at Canada's water supply*


Bulk water exports are specifically excluded as part of the CUSFTA and then further enshrined in the NAFTA agreement.  We kinda saw that one coming.

But you're still welcome to buy our delicious water, one 1L container at a time.  It's tasty, but if you want to use it to put out wildfires, we're not judging.

Oh, and in case you get any other ideas...

i33.tinypic.com
api.ning.com
 
2014-04-24 02:22:47 PM
And they claim humans aren't changing the climate.
 
2014-04-24 02:23:25 PM
We've stopped watering the landscape, but that can also have a side effect of turning the landscape into combustible fuel ...

www.sdfiresafety.org

wildfiretoday.com
ww1.hdnux.com

Anyway ... clear the brush and branches around your homes. Our municipal fire department inspects properties and will cite you for failing to maintain a space around your home. Our fire department doesn't mess around. That's what happens when you settle umpteen million people in a state made of explodium.
 
2014-04-24 02:27:06 PM
Good thing I don't live in California..... Oh wait.
Well, good thing I'm not buying a home in a fire corridor...  What?  Damn it.
Well, at least I don't have to worry about the damn breaking and it flooding the valley I'm in.  Right?  Right?
 
2014-04-24 02:29:08 PM
The fire risk is so bad in the SF Bay Area foothills right now that yesterday I got a citation for ripping a dry fart on a hiking trail.
 
2014-04-24 02:37:20 PM

unyon: EdNortonsTwin: [ts3.mm.bing.net image 300x300]
*looks at Canada's water supply*

Bulk water exports are specifically excluded as part of the CUSFTA and then further enshrined in the NAFTA agreement.  We kinda saw that one coming.

But you're still welcome to buy our delicious water, one 1L container at a time.  It's tasty, but if you want to use it to put out wildfires, we're not judging.

Oh, and in case you get any other ideas...


If they come for the Great Lakes, would you be open to annexing the states on the American side? You can mash them all together into one province if you'd like.
 
2014-04-24 02:42:56 PM
img.fark.net
Is the ground moving? No?
We're good.
 
2014-04-24 02:43:11 PM
StopLurkListen:


img.fark.net

Hitting 88 MPH with your leg sticking out like that is kinda daring, don't you think?
 
2014-04-24 02:43:53 PM

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: Good thing I don't live in California..... Oh wait.
Well, good thing I'm not buying a home in a fire corridor...  What?  Damn it.
Well, at least I don't have to worry about the damn breaking and it flooding the valley I'm in.  Right?  Right?


Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown.
 
2014-04-24 02:58:58 PM
Meh.

Michigan's winter runs from December 1 - November 30.
 
2014-04-24 03:00:37 PM

powtard: StopLurkListen:


[img.fark.net image 463x313]

Hitting 88 MPH one point twenty one jiggawatts! with your leg sticking out like that is kinda daring, don't you think?

 
2014-04-24 03:07:17 PM
its ok, april 31st everything is all clear.
 
2014-04-24 03:07:45 PM
Build smarter:

www.simingtonconstruction.com
 
2014-04-24 03:22:40 PM

unyon: Bulk water exports are specifically excluded as part of the CUSFTA and then further enshrined in the NAFTA agreement. We kinda saw that one coming.

But you're still welcome to buy our delicious water, one 1L container at a time. It's tasty, but if you want to use it to put out wildfires, we're not judging.

Oh, and in case you get any other ideas...


We have plenty of water for drinking, thanks.  But when you guys start getting hungry, you may want to ship some of that water to the Central Valley, since they're the ones who need it at the moment.

(Canada is the second-largest recipient of US food exports, totaling $21.3b US last year, 58% of Canada's total food imports.)
 
2014-04-24 03:43:30 PM

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: Good thing I don't live in California..... Oh wait.
Well, good thing I'm not buying a home in a fire corridor...  What?  Damn it.
Well, at least I don't have to worry about the damn breaking and it flooding the valley I'm in.  Right?  Right?


Correct. A flood would imply that there is any water left to come out when the dam breaks...

Once the source of half the US's every-food-except-grain-and-corn disappears in a flash of burnium and dust this summer I wonder what the excuses for the seemngly unending drought will be...
 
2014-04-24 03:48:36 PM

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: Good thing I don't live in California..... Oh wait.
Well, good thing I'm not buying a home in a fire corridor...  What?  Damn it.
Well, at least I don't have to worry about the damn breaking and it flooding the valley I'm in.  Right?  Right?


A dam I presume to be built by the US Army Corps of Engineers?

No they are farkin' stellar. Just ask New Orleans.
 
2014-04-24 03:50:10 PM

Robo Beat: unyon: EdNortonsTwin: [ts3.mm.bing.net image 300x300]
*looks at Canada's water supply*

Bulk water exports are specifically excluded as part of the CUSFTA and then further enshrined in the NAFTA agreement.  We kinda saw that one coming.

But you're still welcome to buy our delicious water, one 1L container at a time.  It's tasty, but if you want to use it to put out wildfires, we're not judging.

Oh, and in case you get any other ideas...

If they come for the Great Lakes, would you be open to annexing the states on the American side? You can mash them all together into one province if you'd like.


Throw in a legion of those French Canadian girls and I think we can work something out.
 
2014-04-24 03:53:49 PM
Then, it's earthquake season!
 
2014-04-24 03:57:01 PM

unyon: EdNortonsTwin: [ts3.mm.bing.net image 300x300]
*looks at Canada's water supply*

Bulk water exports are specifically excluded as part of the CUSFTA and then further enshrined in the NAFTA agreement.  We kinda saw that one coming.

But you're still welcome to buy our delicious water, one 1L container at a time.  It's tasty, but if you want to use it to put out wildfires, we're not judging.

Oh, and in case you get any other ideas...

[i33.tinypic.com image 750x600]
[api.ning.com image 737x589]


Water was left out of the trade agreement.

Besides, who says " let's not sell a natural resource we have too much of"?

When things heat up with Russia, France and Denmark - you'll want to exchange handys, and for us to buy your water.

Why wait?
 
2014-04-24 04:17:07 PM

EdNortonsTwin: Besides, who says " let's not sell a natural resource we have too much of"?


Is there such a thing as too much water?  The thing with water is that it doesn't only matter how much you have, but where it is.  A change in flow that decimates a single watershed while leaving others intact can still have a huge impact on people living downstream.  See Grande, Rio.

It's not like we don't know that we're the Saudi Arabia of fresh water.  But why sell cheap now when you can hold out and corner the market later?

When things heat up with Russia, France and Denmark - you'll want to exchange handys, and for us to buy your water.

Tell you what- recognize and respect our arctic sovereignty, and we'll talk.  Until then, go thirsty.
 
2014-04-24 04:49:54 PM
Burn the whole thing down to bedrock
That way you get all the mountain bikers, surf nazis and movie execs
 
2014-04-24 04:52:07 PM
Niño's coming this year.
 
2014-04-24 05:05:07 PM

unyon: EdNortonsTwin: Besides, who says " let's not sell a natural resource we have too much of"?

Is there such a thing as too much water?  The thing with water is that it doesn't only matter how much you have, but where it is.  A change in flow that decimates a single watershed while leaving others intact can still have a huge impact on people living downstream.  See Grande, Rio.

It's not like we don't know that we're the Saudi Arabia of fresh water.  But why sell cheap now when you can hold out and corner the market later?

When things heat up with Russia, France and Denmark - you'll want to exchange handys, and for us to buy your water.

Tell you what- recognize and respect our arctic sovereignty, and we'll talk.  Until then, go thirsty.


Always figured that we should make a pipeline from Manitoba/Saskatchewan to the West Coast and sell the flood water.  Win-Win on both sides.  Plus, if there is a burst in the pipe.  Who cares!
 
2014-04-24 05:08:34 PM

Clemkadidlefark: Burn the whole thing down to bedrock
That way you get all the mountain bikers, surf nazis and movie execs


img.fark.net
"You know, some people really hate California."

"Really, what people?"

"Oh, nobody important"
 
2014-04-24 06:25:30 PM

erik-k: Correct. A flood would imply that there is any water left to come out when the dam breaks...


This is California.  A good drought is always ends when giant tropical storm season hits.  The longer the drought, the rainier the storm season.  And the less attention flood control measures and maintenance have gotten.

Its funny reading old LA Times letters/editorials railing on them beefing up Prado dam, just a few years before they had to evacuate people along the Santa Ana river due to the dam springing a leak.
 
2014-04-24 09:47:51 PM
That's funny, the National Interagency Fire Center is reporting there are currently no fires in California
 
2014-04-25 01:42:57 PM
i2.cdn.turner.com

img.fark.net

3/4 of the country had the coldest winter in decades and the global warming farktards say California is having a drought because of global warming because we have had some nice weather.  Come on out when you get your asses unfrozen which will be around August and see what it's like not to live in a frozen hell 9 months out of the year and then broil in unbearable humidity and heat the other three.  The wild fires just burn up the dirty hippies in the mountains and the Hollywood assholes in Malibu so we kind of like them. And when worse comes to worst the mudslides usually put out the wild fires anyway.
 
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