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(Washington Post)   The Marshall Islands: Hey, remember how you guys tested your new super weapons on us? Yeah, we're suing all of you nuclear nations to disarm because you treated us like assholes   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 55
    More: Cool, Marshall Islands, weapons of mass destruction, Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, Pacific, National Nuclear Security Administration, Foreign Affairs Minister of Israel, International Court of Justice, nuclear strategy  
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6972 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2014 at 9:38 AM (12 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-24 08:20:13 AM
ICC:  We find for the plaintiff, all of you need to dispose of your nuclear weapons immediately.

9 Nuclear Powers:  BAHAAHAAHAAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHAHAH! (wipe tears away)  No.


Way to waste time and money though.  I'm sure the Marshall Islands have absolutely nothing to spend that cash on.
 
2014-04-24 09:40:12 AM
Sure, we can disarm them. Right into your face!
 
2014-04-24 09:40:15 AM

devildog123: I'm sure the Marshall Islands have absolutely nothing to spend that cash on.


Well, we basically ruined their entire ecosystem, ability to breed healthy children, and nuked the shait out of their livelihoods, soo.......
 
2014-04-24 09:43:13 AM
"Hey, Charlie!  Give 'em a $100, and show 'em the door."
 
2014-04-24 09:46:54 AM
Well, they were part of the United States by right of conquest at the time, so I don't see how a country can complain about something that happened before they existed.
 
2014-04-24 09:47:51 AM
At the time of testing, the Marshall Islands were part of a nuclear nation. They weren't sovereign until after the testing occurred.

So... tough luck.
 
2014-04-24 09:48:08 AM
eil.com

My grandma Carson bought me one of these when I was like ten
 
2014-04-24 09:49:51 AM
Wait, I've seen this movie.  Peter Sellers, right?
 
2014-04-24 09:50:09 AM
Jobs program for lawyers.
 
2014-04-24 09:55:14 AM
Yeah. Good luck with that.
 
2014-04-24 09:57:11 AM

Voiceofreason01: Yeah. Good luck with that.


Came here to say this or "Let me know how well that works out for you"...
 
2014-04-24 09:58:28 AM
Or maybe someone ought to be sanctioned for wasting judicial resources just to score some cheap publicity.
 
2014-04-24 10:00:48 AM
LOL. Operation Castle in 1954 where, OOPS!, the bomber turned out to be something like 3 times bigger than they thought.

You know, these ingrates should just be happy we didn't wipe their island chain of the face of the Earth by accident.


SAC will be Back.
 
2014-04-24 10:01:32 AM
If they wait a few decades they won't have any islands to call home to anyway; the Marshalls are so close to sea level that they're one of the first areas that will be submerged as the ocean levels rise.
 
2014-04-24 10:05:23 AM
You won't be doing that. You see, we left one nuke behind, buried deep, for just such an occasion. Our insurance policy, if you will. I merely press this button and your entire arche..archi.. aw heck, chain of islands will slip quietly in to the sea.

Okay. Take two..

You won't be doing that. You see, we left one nuke behind for just such an occasion. Our insurance policy, if you will. I merely press this button and your entire chain of pie lands will slip quietly in to the sea. It's buried deep by the way. There.

Good. Print. Send. I said what? Aw jeeze. Just jiggle the antenna when you transmit it. They'll get the message.
 
2014-04-24 10:07:13 AM
blog.nj.com

I have islands? Who knew?
 
2014-04-24 10:08:20 AM

trotsky: LOL. Operation Castle in 1954 where, OOPS!, the bomber turned out to be something like 3 times bigger than they thought.

You know, these ingrates should just be happy we didn't wipe their island chain of the face of the Earth by accident.


SAC will be Back.


They didn't know how big their own plane was?

/SAC is slack!
 
2014-04-24 10:12:25 AM
The United States has a relationship with the Marshall Islands that began during World War II and now allows the Marshallese people to travel to the U.S. to work without needing a visa.  In return, the U.S. has used some of the Marshall Islands to detonated 67 nuclear bombs for testing purposes.

Ingrates.
 
2014-04-24 10:19:58 AM
From Wikipedia on the jurisdiction of the court: "Third, Article 36(2) allows states to make optional clause declarations accepting the Court's jurisdiction...Of the permanent Security Council members, only the United Kingdom has a declaration."
 
2014-04-24 10:19:59 AM
i59.tinypic.com

Those weren't "tests".  They were trying to kill it.
 
2014-04-24 10:30:22 AM
Sure thing.

1. Disarm all the weapons.

2. Store the unused plutonium all over the Marshall Islands.

Happy now, Marshall Islanders?
 
2014-04-24 10:41:38 AM
They'll be selling commemorative stamps for 50 years to pay off that legal bill.
 
2014-04-24 10:46:04 AM
Good documentary...

stagevu.com
 
2014-04-24 10:52:16 AM
Good luck, we're all counting on you.
 
2014-04-24 10:53:33 AM
How many Divisions does the Marshall Islands have?
 
2014-04-24 11:02:41 AM
It also was filing a federal lawsuit against the United States in San Francisco, naming President Barack Obama, the departments and secretaries of defense and energy and the National Nuclear Security Administration.


www.strangecosmos.com

ffs they're even suing countries that didn't even have a nuclear program at the time.
=Smidge=
 
2014-04-24 11:21:07 AM

ransack.: Well, they were part of the United States by right of conquest at the time, so I don't see how a country can complain about something that happened before they existed.


This text is now purple: At the time of testing, the Marshall Islands were part of a nuclear nation. They weren't sovereign until after the testing occurred.


Smidge204: [www.strangecosmos.com image 450x385]

ffs they're even suing countries that didn't even have a nuclear program at the time.


 At the time? What is it that you think they're suing about?
/hint: not atomic tests in the Marshall Islands
 
2014-04-24 11:29:32 AM
I see none of you read the "pro bono" part. Yeah, thanks for your comments. Now go home.

And our brilliant unlawyers are in attendance. Tell you what: since the suit is being filed by actual lawyers, why not shut the hell up and do a "smidge" of research on why naming President Obama is correct procedure.

I would also mock you idiots who are being cynical about their motivations but without you how would we know we're on Fark?
 
2014-04-24 11:36:15 AM
Just how would nuclear disarmament work without Superman, Alien Overlords or
a 21st Century Captain Nemo and his fleet of orbiting battle stations?

Step A: ???
Step B: ???
Step C: World Peace


How do the "experts" say it would work?
 
2014-04-24 11:45:21 AM
No pic of Raven from Snowcrash?

Fark, you're slipping..

/these guys may have kids with three legs, but they still don't have a leg to stand on in court.
 
2014-04-24 11:46:07 AM

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: ransack.: Well, they were part of the United States by right of conquest at the time, so I don't see how a country can complain about something that happened before they existed.

This text is now purple: At the time of testing, the Marshall Islands were part of a nuclear nation. They weren't sovereign until after the testing occurred.

Smidge204: [www.strangecosmos.com image 450x385]

ffs they're even suing countries that didn't even have a nuclear program at the time.

 At the time? What is it that you think they're suing about?
/hint: not atomic tests in the Marshall Islands


Can you enlighten me then? I'm not being snarky here, from what I can tell the Marshall Islands gained sovereignty in 1986 and all US nuclear tests since then have been in Nevada.

Ok I just read TFA and this is stupid as Hell. None of the permanent SEC members are ever going to eliminate their nuclear stockpiles. You're wasting time and Elvis coins you could have spent much more productively, Marshall.
 
2014-04-24 11:53:25 AM

devildog123: ICC:  We find for the plaintiff, all of you need to dispose of your nuclear weapons immediately.

9 Nuclear Powers:  BAHAAHAAHAAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHAHAH! (wipe tears away)  No.


Way to waste time and money though.  I'm sure the Marshall Islands have absolutely nothing to spend that cash on.


Or the cash they got to initially test on the islands.
 
2014-04-24 11:58:22 AM

ransack.: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: ransack.: Well, they were part of the United States by right of conquest at the time, so I don't see how a country can complain about something that happened before they existed.

This text is now purple: At the time of testing, the Marshall Islands were part of a nuclear nation. They weren't sovereign until after the testing occurred.

Smidge204: [www.strangecosmos.com image 450x385]

ffs they're even suing countries that didn't even have a nuclear program at the time.

 At the time? What is it that you think they're suing about?
/hint: not atomic tests in the Marshall Islands

Can you enlighten me then? I'm not being snarky here, from what I can tell the Marshall Islands gained sovereignty in 1986 and all US nuclear tests since then have been in Nevada.

Ok I just read TFA and this is stupid as Hell. None of the permanent SEC members are ever going to eliminate their nuclear stockpiles. You're wasting time and Elvis coins you could have spent much more productively, Marshall.


Well, it appears they aren't spending anything, they're just supplying the name/sovereign status to enable a publicity stunt by activists.
 
2014-04-24 12:02:24 PM
Are these full-stack Marshall Islands or the half-stack?
 
2014-04-24 12:03:29 PM
US won't recognize The Hague's jurisdiction in the case.   The ICC only has jurisdiction if the defending country says it does.   So that case is dead in the water

The US District Court in San Francisco might listen to the case, but this is a political question.   If it doesn't get thrown out right away, it will be thrown out by the time it reaches SCOTUS.   They won't touch it with a 10' pole.   Why?  Because how would the courts enforce an order against the US to get rid of our nuclear weapons?    Honestly, the other two branches would tell the Court to get stuffed.     The Courts do a pretty good job of recognizing when they have no power to enforce a decision, so they refuse the case.
 
2014-04-24 12:04:18 PM

devildog123: ICC:  We find for the plaintiff, all of you need to dispose of your nuclear weapons immediately.

9 Nuclear Powers:  BAHAAHAAHAAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHAHAH! (wipe tears away)  No.


Way to waste time and money though.  I'm sure the Marshall Islands have absolutely nothing to spend that cash on.


Don't think it will go that far; but billions in reparations?  Yeah, that would be it.
 
2014-04-24 12:09:31 PM

brimed03: And our brilliant unlawyers are in attendance. Tell you what: since the suit is being filed by actual lawyers, why not shut the hell up and do a "smidge" of research on why naming President Obama is correct procedure.



I'm an actual lawyer and the attorney that filed the complaint in the Federal District Court in San Francisco should be sanctioned since the stated cause of action can't be substantiated by evidence and the court can't possible enter a ruling in favor of the Plaintiff without violating separation of powers and possibly enmeshing itself in a political question (e.g. the timeline of disarmament is a matter of politics between the Legislative and Executive branches, the Courts aren't meant to referee these disputes).
 
2014-04-24 12:10:59 PM

ransack.: None of the permanent SEC members are ever going to eliminate their nuclear stockpiles.


Even if we make them not bowl eligible for a few years if they don't?
 
2014-04-24 12:12:10 PM

trotsky: LOL. Operation Castle in 1954 where, OOPS!, the bomber turned out to be something like 3 times bigger than they thought.

You know, these ingrates should just be happy we didn't wipe their island chain of the face of the Earth by accident.


SAC will be Back.


That was Castle Bravo, at Bikini.  It was one of the first Hydrogen bomb tests.  They used lithium to host the reaction, but they only thought lithium 6 was reactive. It turns out that lithium 7 is also reactive.  Sooo, the mixed ore they used int he bomb was much more reactive than they assumed.

Instead of 4Mt they got 15Mt.  They destroyed the whole island the bomb was on.  Literally, the island disappeared.

Because it was a ground burst, the fallout was a disaster.  The nearby islands were rendered uninhabitable and killed a bunch of Japanese fishermen who were on a boat downwind.
 
2014-04-24 12:13:32 PM
weiserfireman: The US District Court in San Francisco might listen to the case, but this is a political question.


Exactly.  If it doesn't get thrown out on summary judgment the Court should toss it out on its own since the matter is not justiciable.
 
2014-04-24 12:18:22 PM
Nobody ever draws a parallel between nation-weilded nuclear weapons and privately-owned firearms in America.

But it's the same damn thing.
You got one. So do others. Throw yours down? Nope. Not until everyone else does. How do you know they don't have one more hidden above the ceiling tiles?
Nobody is volunteering to give theirs up first.

However, nobody has used nuclear weapons to attack someone in almost 70 years.

My proposition here is privately owned nuclear weapon legalization in America. It will be an extremely polite society, possibly exceeding the combined politeness of England and Canada.
 
2014-04-24 12:19:18 PM
Explains nicely why the International Court of Justice is a joke.

Don't we need to do more testing?

They left off Iran and South Africa.
 
2014-04-24 12:20:50 PM

JK47: brimed03: And our brilliant unlawyers are in attendance. Tell you what: since the suit is being filed by actual lawyers, why not shut the hell up and do a "smidge" of research on why naming President Obama is correct procedure.


I'm an actual lawyer and the attorney that filed the complaint in the Federal District Court in San Francisco should be sanctioned since the stated cause of action can't be substantiated by evidence and the court can't possible enter a ruling in favor of the Plaintiff without violating separation of powers and possibly enmeshing itself in a political question (e.g. the timeline of disarmament is a matter of politics between the Legislative and Executive branches, the Courts aren't meant to referee these disputes).


I believe your claims of actually being an attorney based solely upon your expert off-the-cuff construction of such a punctuated and verbose run-on sentence.
 
2014-04-24 12:57:43 PM

devildog123: ICC:  We find for the plaintiff, all of you need to dispose of your nuclear weapons immediately.
9 Nuclear Powers:  BAHAAHAAHAAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHAHAH! (wipe tears away)  No.
Way to waste time and money though.  I'm sure the Marshall Islands have absolutely nothing to spend that cash on.


Whereas I feel obliged to agree with your assessment of the inevitable outcome, still hafta say definitely NOT a waste of time.  If lawyers spent more time bringing this sort of litigation into light (and pushing the press to put some legs on the story) instead of chasing ambulances and filing petty patent-troll suits, everyone on the farkin' planet benefits, even if only from the level of debate it brings to the governmental table.

And on the freaky off-chance of success, it'd be nice to see all that nuclear fuel and consequent monetary savings put to use for cleanups, anti-proliferation, and nuclear power plants that might make my electric bill a wee bit cheaper.
 
2014-04-24 01:01:20 PM
i1.ytimg.com

They irradiated their own planet??!?!?!
 
2014-04-24 01:07:57 PM
Missile Defense Agency to Marshall Islands: "You sure you're serious about stopping ABM tests? We spend quite a bit of money out that way.."
 
2014-04-24 01:42:59 PM

vudukungfu: devildog123: I'm sure the Marshall Islands have absolutely nothing to spend that cash on.

Well, we basically ruined their entire ecosystem, ability to breed healthy children, and nuked the shait out of their livelihoods, soo.......


But brought them freedom. So we even.
 
VTC
2014-04-24 01:49:06 PM
Frankly, I'm astounded at the amount of derp floating around in this thread.

I would encourage all of you to do a bit more research on the Marshall islands and the Federated States of Micronesia before you all go maximum herpa derp.

http://www.state.gov/r/pa/ei/bgn/26551.htm

U.S.-MARSHALL ISLANDS RELATIONS
After gaining military control of the Marshall Islands from Japan in 1944, the United States assumed administrative control of the Marshall Islands under United Nations auspices as part of the Trust Territory of the Pacific Islands following the end of World War II. The Marshall Islands signed a Compact of Free Association with the United States in 1983 and gained independence in 1986 with the Compact's entry into force. From 1999-2003, the two countries negotiated an Amended Compact that entered into force in 2004.
The Republic of the Marshall Islands (RMI)is a sovereign nation. While the government is free to conduct its own foreign relations, it does so under the terms of the Compact. The United States has full authority and responsibility for security and defense of the Marshall Islands, and the Government of the Marshall Islands is obligated to refrain from taking actions that would be incompatible with these security and defense responsibilities. The United States and the Marshall Islands have full diplomatic relations. Marshallese citizens may work and study without a visa, and they join the U.S. military at a higher rate than any U.S. state.
The U.S. Department of Defense, under a subsidiary government-to-government agreement of the Compact, received permission to use parts of the lagoon and several islands on Kwajalein Atoll. The agreement allows the United States continued use of the U.S. Army Kwajalein Atoll missile test range until 2066 with an option until 2086. Another major subsidiary agreement of the original Compact provides for settlement of all claims arising from the U.S. nuclear tests conducted at Bikini and Enewetak Atolls from 1946 to 1958.
U.S. Assistance to the Marshall Islands
The Marshall Islands is an isolated, sparsely populated, low-lying Pacific island country consisting of approximately 70 sq. miles of land spread out over 750,000 sq. miles of ocean just north of the equator. These characteristics make it vulnerable to transnational threats, natural disasters, and effects of climate change. U.S. assistance focuses on supporting health, education, and infrastructure in the Marshall Islands, as well as the RMI's ability to perform maritime security functions and strengthen climate resilience through disaster preparedness. The U.S. provided $5.1 million in drought assistance in 2013.
Under the Compact, as amended, the U.S. provides the Marshall Islands with approximately $70 million annually through FY 2023, including contributions to a jointly managed trust fund and financial assistance from other U.S. Federal Grants. Marshallese citizens also continue to have access to many U.S. programs and services. A Joint Economic Management and Financial Accountability Committee with members from both governments has been established to strengthen management and accountability with regard to assistance provided under the Compact, as amended, and to promote effective use of the funding provided.
A number of U.S. Government agencies operate programs or render assistance to the Marshall Islands. These include the Federal Aviation Administration, the U.S. Postal Service, the Small Business Administration, the U.S. Agency for International Development, the Department of Energy, the Department of Agriculture, the Department of Health and Human Services, the Department of Education, the Department of State, and the Department of the Interior. Compact grants are primarily funded through and implemented by the Department of the Interior.
Bilateral Economic Relations
The economy of the Marshall Islands is closely linked to that of the United States, and its GDP is derived mainly from U.S. payments under the terms of the Compact of Free Association. The Army Garrison on Kwajalein Atoll is the number two employer in the RMI. Through the Compact, the United States provides significant financial support to the Republic of the Marshall Islands to help achieve the Compact goals of economic self-sufficiency. The United States is one of the Marshall Islands' top trading partners, and the Marshall Islands has expressed interest in attracting U.S. investment. The Marshall Islands sells fishing rights to other nations as a source of income. Under the multilateral U.S.-Pacific Islands tuna fisheries treaty, the U.S. provides an annual grant to Pacific island parties, including the Marshall Islands, for access by licensed U.S. fishing vessels.
Marshall Islands' Membership in International Organizations
The Marshall Islands and the United States belong to a number of the same international organizations, including the United Nations, International Monetary Fund, World Bank, and Asian Development Bank. The Marshall Islands also belongs to the Pacific Islands Forum, of which the United States is a Dialogue Partner.
Bilateral Representation
The U.S. Ambassador to the Marshall Islands is Thomas Hart Armbruster; other principal embassy officials are listed in the Department's Key Officers List.
The Marshall Islands maintains an embassy in the United States at 2433 Massachusetts Avenue NW., Washington, DC 20008 (tel. 202-234-5414).
 
VTC
2014-04-24 01:54:16 PM
 
2014-04-24 02:23:20 PM
Are they suing the decedents of Oppenheimer and General Groves, as well?
 
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