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(AZCentral)   If you like floating down rivers polluted with urine, alcohol, cigarette butts, Styrofoam lids, used condoms, plastic bags, and empty sunblock bottles, things are looking up. Tubing season is almost here   (azcentral.com ) divider line
    More: Spiffy, styrofoam, plastic bags, Rocking Rodeo Roundup, Fountain Hills, rivers  
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4770 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2014 at 9:43 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-24 08:00:48 AM  
All rivers are polluted with urine.  At least, all rivers with any fish in them.  And animals that live on their banks.  The only river that wouldn't be "polluted" with urine is one so sterile that pretty much nothing can live on or near it.
 
2014-04-24 08:24:31 AM  
So you're saying fraternities live in rivers?
 
2014-04-24 09:24:43 AM  

dittybopper: All rivers are polluted with urine.  At least, all rivers with any fish in them.  And animals that live on their banks.  The only river that wouldn't be "polluted" with urine is one so sterile that pretty much nothing can live on or near it.


A good case of beaver fever will disabuse you of the notion that waterways are urine free.
 
2014-04-24 09:46:19 AM  
Fish pee?
 
2014-04-24 09:47:41 AM  
Ah Arizona, the Florida of the west.
 
2014-04-24 09:49:20 AM  

Diogenes: A good case of beaver fever


Spring Break!!!!!

/Sorry
//Figure you mean giardia?
 
2014-04-24 09:52:17 AM  

It's called "toobing". And we avoid them like the plague they are.

Stay off of my river, ya drunken yobs.




i865.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-24 09:52:50 AM  
Who uses Styrofoam?
 
2014-04-24 09:53:02 AM  
www.gannett-cdn.com

Nice tube ya got there...
 
2014-04-24 09:53:02 AM  

born_yesterday: giardia


Yep.  Nasty stuff.
 
2014-04-24 09:53:25 AM  

dittybopper: All rivers are polluted with urine.  At least, all rivers with any fish in them.  And animals that live on their banks.  The only river that wouldn't be "polluted" with urine is one so sterile that pretty much nothing can live on or near it.


You don't understand "polluted with urine" until you've tubed the Chattahoochee river.  My gf is a PhD student in epidemiology and environmental science and one of her projects was the safety and cleanliness of the Chattahoochee at various points during the tubing.  Safe to say, I won't be doing that again.

/PhD research ruins my fun
 
Skr
2014-04-24 09:55:14 AM  
If it wasn't for the site icon, my guess would have been Apple River, WI.
Scientific Fact: A (used?) Condom will float down river faster than an occupied tube.
 
2014-04-24 09:56:28 AM  
www.gannett-cdn.com

This could make for a lovely caption contest...
 
2014-04-24 09:57:35 AM  
Poors have to find their fun somewhere.
 
2014-04-24 09:58:16 AM  

Skr: If it wasn't for the site icon, my guess would have been Apple River, WI.
Scientific Fact: A (used?) Condom will float down river faster than an occupied tube.


Ah yes, Somerset.  I may or may not have peed in that river.

I did.
 
2014-04-24 09:58:19 AM  
I tube in Vermont, so the only pollution we have is shait-tons of shait. Cow shait, mostly.
the farmers have a product they make called "liquid manure" that they produce. One of the byproducts is milk. But by far and large, they make more liquid manure than they know what to do with so it gets put in the rivers. they are discreet about it. they put it in creeks or on fields and let nature take its shaitty course, but it all ends up in the lake.
The real danger is the flying things that bite. Midges, no-see-ums, black flies, deer flies, mosquitoes, gnats, and ticks and cheegros.
 
2014-04-24 09:58:48 AM  

blatz514: [www.gannett-cdn.com image 680x510]

This could make for a lovely caption contest...


"There's no such thing as too much lube.   Trust me, it only hurts at first."
 
2014-04-24 09:59:07 AM  

Skr: A (used?) Condom will float down river faster than an occupied tube.


Ought to, it's full of swimmers.
 
2014-04-24 10:01:44 AM  

The Southern Logic Company: dittybopper: All rivers are polluted with urine.  At least, all rivers with any fish in them.  And animals that live on their banks.  The only river that wouldn't be "polluted" with urine is one so sterile that pretty much nothing can live on or near it.

You don't understand "polluted with urine" until you've tubed the Chattahoochee river.  My gf is a PhD student in epidemiology and environmental science and one of her projects was the safety and cleanliness of the Chattahoochee at various points during the tubing.  Safe to say, I won't be doing that again.

/PhD research ruins my fun


I've tubed down/swam in/generally played in the Battenkill.  I've jumped off 2 of the 4 covered bridges.

You know what surrounds the Battenkill, for the most part?  Cows.  Lots and lots of cows.  And farms that use lots and lots of manure to grow their corn.

So "Meh".
 
2014-04-24 10:03:34 AM  

vudukungfu: I tube in Vermont, so the only pollution we have is shait-tons of shait. Cow shait, mostly.
the farmers have a product they make called "liquid manure" that they produce. One of the byproducts is milk. But by far and large, they make more liquid manure than they know what to do with so it gets put in the rivers. they are discreet about it. they put it in creeks or on fields and let nature take its shaitty course, but it all ends up in the lake.
The real danger is the flying things that bite. Midges, no-see-ums, black flies, deer flies, mosquitoes, gnats, and ticks and cheegros.


Dairy farm run-off high five!
 
2014-04-24 10:03:49 AM  
Not much better than slowly drifting down the Frio river on a sunny day with an ice cold beer in your hand.
 
2014-04-24 10:06:01 AM  

dittybopper: Dairy farm run-off high five!


got any Purell?
 
2014-04-24 10:06:32 AM  
Because pools and hot tubs are completely piss free.

And floating the river is awesome, it's halfway between San Antonio and Austin, by a town with it's own huge university full of trashy coeds.  Oh, and the river is 72 degrees year round since it's spring fed.  Since it was 91 yesterday and 98 this weekend, floating season has arrived.


i.ytimg.com
 
2014-04-24 10:08:36 AM  

We run the San Marcos River in Central Texas. The more popular river is the Guadalupe, but it's low because of the drought, and the local constabulary has decided to enforce a can and cooler ban on the river. So, all the drunken college kids come to our river, and it's terrible how bad they're trashing it.

Empty jello shot cups, and beer cans. LOTS of beer cans.

The damn thing is, they give each tube a bag for empties, and these dumbasses STILL throw them in the river.


Plus, there's not enough current in the river, so all the drunks hit a logjam at the few rapids. So, right around the corner in this shot are about 500 toobers all jammed together in a giant lake of piss.
We had to run the gauntlet in our kayaks.

i865.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-24 10:08:42 AM  

blatz514: Skr: If it wasn't for the site icon, my guess would have been Apple River, WI.
Scientific Fact: A (used?) Condom will float down river faster than an occupied tube.

Ah yes, Somerset.  I may or may not have peed in that river.

I did.


Fun fact: By mid-August, the Apple River is approximately 40% urine, 25% mich golden light, 25% leinie's honey weiss, 10% jizz and 0% water.
 
2014-04-24 10:09:52 AM  
Yes Subby, I've kayaked on the Ohio river.
 
2014-04-24 10:12:31 AM  
The Ganges sees your pollution list, and raises with dead bodies.
 
2014-04-24 10:13:09 AM  

vudukungfu: dittybopper: Dairy farm run-off high five!

got any Purell?


Real men develop an immunity.
 
2014-04-24 10:13:10 AM  
I guess we'd been floating down that river for an hour before I realized everybody's just peeing on themselves. And I thought: "Hell, I'll just pee on myself." Everybody got mad at me. Course, I was in a canoe. Standing up too.

Ohh Ron White . . .
 
2014-04-24 10:13:46 AM  
menschenfresser


blatz514: Skr: If it wasn't for the site icon, my guess would have been Apple River, WI.
Scientific Fact: A (used?) Condom will float down river faster than an occupied tube.

Ah yes, Somerset. I may or may not have peed in that river.

I did.


Fun fact: By mid-August, the Apple River is approximately 40% urine, 25% mich golden light, 25% leinie's honey weiss, 10% jizz and 0% water.


It isn't cool to take bottles on the river.
 
2014-04-24 10:14:29 AM  

blatz514: [www.gannett-cdn.com image 680x510]

Nice tube ya got there...


The one inna hat's gonna be lobster red tomorrow...ouchies
 
2014-04-24 10:14:57 AM  

Maud Dib: We run the San Marcos River in Central Texas. The more popular river is the Guadalupe, but it's low because of the drought, and the local constabulary has decided to enforce a can and cooler ban on the river. So, all the drunken college kids come to our river, and it's terrible how bad they're trashing it.Empty jello shot cups, and beer cans. LOTS of beer cans.The damn thing is, they give each tube a bag for empties, and these dumbasses STILL throw them in the river.
Plus, there's not enough current in the river, so all the drunks hit a logjam at the few rapids. So, right around the corner in this shot are about 500 toobers all jammed together in a giant lake of piss.
We had to run the gauntlet in our kayaks.

[i865.photobucket.com image 850x637]


Green elf shot the toob.
 
2014-04-24 10:15:08 AM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: menschenfresser


blatz514: Skr: If it wasn't for the site icon, my guess would have been Apple River, WI.
Scientific Fact: A (used?) Condom will float down river faster than an occupied tube.

Ah yes, Somerset. I may or may not have peed in that river.

I did.


Fun fact: By mid-August, the Apple River is approximately 40% urine, 25% mich golden light, 25% leinie's honey weiss, 10% jizz and 0% water.


It isn't cool to take bottles on the river.


Who keeps jizz in a bottle?
 
2014-04-24 10:17:27 AM  

menschenfresser: blatz514: Skr: If it wasn't for the site icon, my guess would have been Apple River, WI.
Scientific Fact: A (used?) Condom will float down river faster than an occupied tube.

Ah yes, Somerset.  I may or may not have peed in that river.

I did.

Fun fact: By mid-August, the Apple River is approximately 40% urine, 25% mich golden light, 25% leinie's honey weiss, 10% jizz and 0% water.


Only 10%?  Somerset comes to mind.

/pun intended.
 
2014-04-24 10:18:32 AM  
I'm a country boy, grew up on a farm in the hinterlands of Illinois. I played in the creeks as a kid, but I always knew not to drink the water. It has run-off from the fields in it. There's fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides, and fungicides in there. One year an elderly neighbor died and left his place to his niece from California. She had never lived out in the country before, but was gung-ho about going Green Acres. My dad and I were riding horses one time and we discovered her on her hands and knees slurping creek water. I'm not talking about a clear, swift mountain stream here. It's murky, muddy, slow water. She seemed very disappointed to learn that it was not safe to drink. She seemed to be under the impression that farmland is some sort of pristine wilderness.

/csb
 
2014-04-24 10:18:40 AM  
I see they've been to the Tug Fork.
 
2014-04-24 10:19:30 AM  

dittybopper: Real men develop an immunity.


Give me credit for looking up how to spell it and getting that right. Although I could have red it off of a bottle in anyone else's cubicle but mine,
I eschew the stuff.
 
2014-04-24 10:22:42 AM  

cgraves67: She seemed very disappointed to learn that it was not safe to drink.


So... you're saying she would put anything in her mouth?
 
Skr
2014-04-24 10:22:46 AM  

menschenfresser: blatz514: Skr: If it wasn't for the site icon, my guess would have been Apple River, WI.
Scientific Fact: A (used?) Condom will float down river faster than an occupied tube.

Ah yes, Somerset.  I may or may not have peed in that river.

I did.

Fun fact: By mid-August, the Apple River is approximately 40% urine, 25% mich golden light, 25% leinie's honey weiss, 10% jizz and 0% water.


On the positive side of things, the added salt content of the "river" should increase buoyancy.
 
2014-04-24 10:26:50 AM  

Maud Dib: The more popular river is the Guadalupe, but it's low because of the drought, and the local constabulary has decided to enforce a can and cooler ban on the river.


Good. Keep them the hell out of New Braunfels. They're perfect for San Marcos.
 
2014-04-24 10:31:51 AM  

The Southern Logic Company: dittybopper: All rivers are polluted with urine.  At least, all rivers with any fish in them.  And animals that live on their banks.  The only river that wouldn't be "polluted" with urine is one so sterile that pretty much nothing can live on or near it.

You don't understand "polluted with urine" until you've tubed the Chattahoochee river.  My gf is a PhD student in epidemiology and environmental science and one of her projects was the safety and cleanliness of the Chattahoochee at various points during the tubing.  Safe to say, I won't be doing that again.

/PhD research ruins my fun



Meh, just stay north of Lanier and you're fine.

The 'hooch is a cesspool below the dam, and I won't even dip my toe in south of Roswell.
 
2014-04-24 10:31:52 AM  
I keep a bottle of this (NSFW name) to spray at anyone who gets too close to me.
 
2014-04-24 10:32:40 AM  

vudukungfu: cgraves67: She seemed very disappointed to learn that it was not safe to drink.

So... you're saying she would put anything in her mouth?


I don't know about anything, but definitely some very disgusting, questionable things.

I'd say you're in, bro.
 
2014-04-24 10:40:15 AM  
I worked in a building looking over the Don River in Toronto. Used to watch dead bodies floating down to the lake. Jumpers from the Bloor Street Viaduct I think. They got some sort of thing to stop them now. All wires and stuff. I think it electrocutes them in some kind of web.
 
2014-04-24 10:46:01 AM  
Find a fast moving creek in the middle of no where. Take your own tubes, have your own fun and be left the f@#$ alone.
 
2014-04-24 10:48:38 AM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: I worked in a building looking over the Don River in Toronto. Used to watch dead bodies floating down to the lake. Jumpers from the Bloor Street Viaduct I think. They got some sort of thing to stop them now. All wires and stuff. I think it electrocutes them in some kind of web.


You gatdanged Canadians are so danged efficient.
 
2014-04-24 10:51:11 AM  
When we started tubing on the Guadalupe River we were able to bring our own truck tire tubs, get in the river anywhere below the dam and float to our hearts content. Now it is all privately owned or leased land and access is denied unless you pay someone for the "privilege". No longer go. Sad.
 
2014-04-24 10:51:41 AM  
Amoebic encephalitis. That is all.
 
2014-04-24 10:52:06 AM  
csb time

The last tubing trip I went on had a number of people involved and the location had a no glass bottle policy that was not noticed by one of the guys in our group. Word of mouth was passed back the line from the tubers from around the bend in the river, that a sheriffs deputy was there ticketing people for glass bottles and making you pour out whatever is in said bottle as well. Well the three of us at the back had to pull over because the jackhole who didn't think his trip through had a bottle of Jack still unopened in his cooler. Between the three of us we killed that bottle of Jack in about 8-10 minutes just by taking hits off of the bottle. We never caught up with the rest of the group and the eventual ride home is a black hole in my memory. I haven't gone tubing since then and I never will.
 
2014-04-24 10:52:31 AM  

dr.zaeus: The Southern Logic Company: dittybopper: All rivers are polluted with urine.  At least, all rivers with any fish in them.  And animals that live on their banks.  The only river that wouldn't be "polluted" with urine is one so sterile that pretty much nothing can live on or near it.

You don't understand "polluted with urine" until you've tubed the Chattahoochee river.  My gf is a PhD student in epidemiology and environmental science and one of her projects was the safety and cleanliness of the Chattahoochee at various points during the tubing.  Safe to say, I won't be doing that again.

/PhD research ruins my fun


Meh, just stay north of Lanier and you're fine.

The 'hooch is a cesspool below the dam, and I won't even dip my toe in south of Roswell.


Boy, is this the farking truth
 
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