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(Onion AV Club)   Paramount to reboot Friday the 13th for a new generation of Jason fans that were too young to understand him five years ago when the last reboot came out   (avclub.com) divider line 91
    More: Silly, reboot, Platinum Dunes  
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1071 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Apr 2014 at 2:43 AM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-24 12:08:53 AM  
We need a younger, edgier Jason. Maybe make him a woman this time? Or black?
 
2014-04-24 12:09:11 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-24 01:03:25 AM  

fusillade762: We need a younger, edgier Jason. Maybe make him a woman this time? Or black?


Maybe a black woman with some birth defect, or maybe autism caused by vaccines.
 
2014-04-24 02:47:29 AM  
The last one wasn't....horrible. The pot field thing was retarded, and much like the Halloween remake, there was no reason to make him as large as a goddamned mountain. That aside...as long as he's putting pitchforks and machetes through skanky misbehaving teenagers...you've got Jason.

/howzabout a blue hockey mask and a purple jumpsuit?
 
2014-04-24 03:01:02 AM  

fusillade762: We need a younger, edgier Jason. Maybe make him a woman this time? Or black?


How about Lark Voorhies?
 
2014-04-24 03:01:38 AM  

Ball Peen Hammer Laxative: fusillade762: We need a younger, edgier Jason. Maybe make him a woman this time? Or black?

How about Lark Voorhies?


She's crazy enough.
 
2014-04-24 03:04:03 AM  
Hollywoods reboot cycle is approaching criticality.

This said, I vote for them breaking the cardinal rule of stalker horror killers and have him speak.  Or put in jar jar.  Let's kill the franchise with a whimper I save it.
 
2014-04-24 03:04:59 AM  
*to save it
 
2014-04-24 03:05:39 AM  
Anyone have oldnewsisold.jpg handy, just to just get it out of the way?

Anyway, didn't read the article because of the above, but Paramount really seems like they're set on the found footage angle for this one. Even less enticing is that, before the reveal of David Bruckner as the director, they were saying that they probably wouldn't even use Jason Voohees. So basically, they'd just be using the name. My excitement has nosedived into the Andes and is eating its own just to survive.

/However, Bruckner's "Amateur Night" was the standout segment of V/H/S.
//"I like you."
 
2014-04-24 03:10:49 AM  
Seems like these things should be cake. Steady stream of new audience, new fads, new music. And when it's time to reboot Star Trek again just get him beamed aboard the Enterprise. Not many virgins there.
 
2014-04-24 03:16:22 AM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Seems like these things should be cake. Steady stream of new audience, new fads, new music. And when it's time to reboot Star Trek again just get him beamed aboard the Enterprise. Not many virgins there.


img2.wikia.nocookie.net
/been done. kinda.
 
2014-04-24 03:16:35 AM  
My favorite Friday the 13th is Part VII where he takes on the psychic girl. Instead of doing another reboot they should use that continuity, bring back the psychic and Tommy Jarvis and have them team up to put Jason down, permanently! Until the next installment.
 
2014-04-24 03:20:26 AM  
I hope Corey Feldman isn't too busy.
 
2014-04-24 03:24:15 AM  

robohobo: Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Seems like these things should be cake. Steady stream of new audience, new fads, new music. And when it's time to reboot Star Trek again just get him beamed aboard the Enterprise. Not many virgins there.

[img2.wikia.nocookie.net image 431x460]
/been done. kinda.


With a holodeck!

Jizz Master Zero: they were saying that they probably wouldn't even use Jason Voohees


SPOILERS!


He wasn't the killer in the first one, either.
 
2014-04-24 03:27:29 AM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: robohobo: Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Seems like these things should be cake. Steady stream of new audience, new fads, new music. And when it's time to reboot Star Trek again just get him beamed aboard the Enterprise. Not many virgins there.

[img2.wikia.nocookie.net image 431x460]
/been done. kinda.

With a holodeck!

Jizz Master Zero: they were saying that they probably wouldn't even use Jason Voohees

SPOILERS!


He wasn't the killer in the first one, either.


Or the 5th..I think the 5th.
 
2014-04-24 03:35:53 AM  
Goddammit.
 
2014-04-24 03:58:30 AM  

robohobo: The last one wasn't....horrible.


It wasn't horrible but it wasn't particularly good either. Not that the Jason movies have ever been good, really, but the reboot had this creepy torture vibe to the kills. That's just not Jason to me. But it was the style at the time I suppose.

A new reboot might not be a bad idea but...

Bruckner's involvement could mean producers are interested in employing a found-footage approach toFriday The 13th, as "found footage"

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOO!!!!!
 
2014-04-24 04:07:56 AM  

Smashed Hat: robohobo: The last one wasn't....horrible.

It wasn't horrible but it wasn't particularly good either. Not that the Jason movies have ever been good, really, but the reboot had this creepy torture vibe to the kills. That's just not Jason to me. But it was the style at the time I suppose.

A new reboot might not be a bad idea but...

Bruckner's involvement could mean producers are interested in employing a found-footage approach toFriday The 13th, as "found footage"

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOO!!!!!


I don't so much mind the torture-y aspect(although I didn't pick up on that at all..explain?). I'm glad, however, he's yet to be turned into a tv-flickering ghost like every goddamned Jap-wannabe horror movie since The Ring.

/on the plus side, that chick had AMAZING titties.
//also, was there any reason to dump previous continuity?
///it was LEAGUES better than the Halloween/Nightmare reboots. Those were just shameful.
 
2014-04-24 04:16:13 AM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: He wasn't the killer in the first one, either.


Or the fifth. But they're not saying that they'll retell the Pamela Voorhees story. They're saying that there will be no Voohees, period. A Friday the 13th universe where neither Jason or his mother exist.
 
2014-04-24 04:18:20 AM  
Keep missing that "r" in Voorhees. Now I know what straight rum does to me.

/Worst. Pirate. Ever.
 
2014-04-24 04:19:49 AM  

Jizz Master Zero: They're saying that there will be no Voohees, period. A Friday the 13th universe where neither Jason or his mother exist.


Not a chance. They tried that with the fifth one and everyone hated it. They know damn well Jason Voorhees sells the tickets.
 
2014-04-24 04:26:18 AM  
I don't so much mind the torture-y aspect(although I didn't pick up on that at all..explain?).

They lingered a long time on the deaths if I remember correctly. (I only watched it once). I wouldn't say they were more graphic but there were a lot of squishy sound effects and Jason seemed to take a lot more pleasure in killing people. I didn't like that. The old Jason usually just killed people quickly and brutally. He didn't seem to really care all that much about the act itself. He just wanted everybody dead, like they were pests invading his space. I just found the way they handled the deaths to be very un-Jason-like.


//also, was there any reason to dump previous continuity?

I did like how they sort of recapped the first two (or three? can't remember) movies in the opening sequence of the reboot. No reason to rehash the entire story of his mother. Just show the greatest hits.
 
2014-04-24 04:30:56 AM  

Confabulat: Jizz Master Zero: They're saying that there will be no Voohees, period. A Friday the 13th universe where neither Jason or his mother exist.

Not a chance. They tried that with the fifth one and everyone hated it. They know damn well Jason Voorhees sells the tickets.


You're saying that like Platinum Dunes gives a shiat. Remember, this is Michael Bay's production company. Their attitude through their entire existence has consistently been that they know better than you do what you want. I hope they've seen the light since they floated the no-Voorhees idea and the horror community collectively shiat itself, but Paramount having thrown this thing directly back to Platinum Dunes as soon as they got the rights back despite everyone making it clear that they were the problem in the first place kills any faith I had in common sense winning out.
 
2014-04-24 04:32:40 AM  

Smashed Hat: I don't so much mind the torture-y aspect(although I didn't pick up on that at all..explain?).

They lingered a long time on the deaths if I remember correctly. (I only watched it once). I wouldn't say they were more graphic but there were a lot of squishy sound effects and Jason seemed to take a lot more pleasure in killing people. I didn't like that. The old Jason usually just killed people quickly and brutally. He didn't seem to really care all that much about the act itself. He just wanted everybody dead, like they were pests invading his space. I just found the way they handled the deaths to be very un-Jason-like.


//also, was there any reason to dump previous continuity?

I did like how they sort of recapped the first two (or three? can't remember) movies in the opening sequence of the reboot. No reason to rehash the entire story of his mother. Just show the greatest hits.


Yeah, I saw it maybe twice, I don't especially remember the goings on. I should poke through a stream and take a look.

Count me in for bringing back Tommy and the telekinetic girl. Only, and ONLY if it were the last F13 movie ever released. Tommy came back in the comics...Tommy and Ash vs Freddy and Jason. It was fun, anyway.
 
Skr
2014-04-24 04:36:58 AM  
I think  instead of the goalie mask that Jason should wear a Twilight Sparkle Mask. Invoke some true terror in his victims.
 
2014-04-24 04:37:57 AM  

Smashed Hat: I did like how they sort of recapped the first two (or three? can't remember) movies in the opening sequence of the reboot.


They did a loose remake of the final fight between Pamela Voorhees and Alice from the last five minutes of the first. Literally nothing else (well, the composition of the shot for one kill was a bad recreation of one from the first) came from the originals.
 
2014-04-24 04:40:17 AM  

Skr: I think  instead of the goalie mask that Jason should wear a Twilight Sparkle Mask. Invoke some true terror in his victims.


img.fark.net
*shudder*
 
2014-04-24 04:41:31 AM  
robohobo:

Count me in for bringing back Tommy and the telekinetic girl. Only, and ONLY if it were the last F13 movie ever released. Tommy came back in the comics...Tommy and Ash vs Freddy and Jason. It was fun, anyway.

I'm pretty sure Corey Feldman is available.

The one with the telekinetic girl (part 7?) was the most fun to watch out of the series.
 
2014-04-24 04:41:42 AM  
Why ft13 when they could use the special effects of today in a hellraiser reboot?
 
2014-04-24 04:43:36 AM  

Jizz Master Zero: Smashed Hat: I did like how they sort of recapped the first two (or three? can't remember) movies in the opening sequence of the reboot.

They did a loose remake of the final fight between Pamela Voorhees and Alice from the last five minutes of the first. Literally nothing else (well, the composition of the shot for one kill was a bad recreation of one from the first) came from the originals.


I thought they recapped more than that. Either way, it was a good way to fill in the backstory without doing a movie with Jason's mom as the killer because, let's be honest, you want Jason in a hockey mask in your Friday the 13th movie otherwise what's the point?
 
2014-04-24 04:45:42 AM  

Smackledorfer: Why ft13 when they could use the special effects of today in a hellraiser reboot?


http://www.shocktillyoudrop.com/news/176891-clive-barker-a-doug-brad le y-reunite-for-hellraiser-remake/
 
2014-04-24 04:46:31 AM  

Smackledorfer: Why ft13 when they could use the special effects of today in a hellraiser reboot?


The last Hellraiser was 3 years ago, shot in about 5 weeks for 300K, and did NOT feature Doug Bradley. It was shown in one theatre, once. It didn't even do well on dvd.

The last Child's Play movie at least had a stinger with the original Andy.
 
2014-04-24 04:51:42 AM  

Smashed Hat: Jizz Master Zero: Smashed Hat: I did like how they sort of recapped the first two (or three? can't remember) movies in the opening sequence of the reboot.

They did a loose remake of the final fight between Pamela Voorhees and Alice from the last five minutes of the first. Literally nothing else (well, the composition of the shot for one kill was a bad recreation of one from the first) came from the originals.

I thought they recapped more than that. Either way, it was a good way to fill in the backstory without doing a movie with Jason's mom as the killer because, let's be honest, you want Jason in a hockey mask in your Friday the 13th movie otherwise what's the point?


I actually agree. We got all the info we needed right in the opening credits and moved on right to what people wanted: Jason Voorhees killing stupid teenagers. It's just a shame they kept trying to give Jason more motivation. These assholes keep showing up on his territory. He really wants them gone. That's all that is needed. Quit trying to make him about anything more than that.
 
2014-04-24 04:55:18 AM  

robohobo: Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Seems like these things should be cake. Steady stream of new audience, new fads, new music. And when it's time to reboot Star Trek again just get him beamed aboard the Enterprise. Not many virgins there.

[img2.wikia.nocookie.net image 431x460]
/been done. kinda.


I really wish they'd just make a sequel following that film. Jason hunting down campers in the future, it could work...
 
2014-04-24 04:59:41 AM  

Cheater71: robohobo: Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Seems like these things should be cake. Steady stream of new audience, new fads, new music. And when it's time to reboot Star Trek again just get him beamed aboard the Enterprise. Not many virgins there.

[img2.wikia.nocookie.net image 431x460]
/been done. kinda.

I really wish they'd just make a sequel following that film. Jason hunting down campers in the future, it could work...


Didn't his parts end up back in a lake on Earth that was? An Earth rendered inhospitable? Or was it Earth 2?
 
2014-04-24 05:02:05 AM  
The Friday the 13th reboot from 5 years ago should have won an Oscar for Best Boobs thanks to Julianna Guill

My god, those things were amazing.  It's a shame that it's the only time she's ever gone topless on film.
 
2014-04-24 05:13:14 AM  
Anyone really interested in the Friday the 13th franchise needs to get Crystal Lake Memories. It's a nearly 7-hour documentary from the same people who did Never Sleep Again, the 4-hour Nightmare on Elm Street documentary. Boy howdy, is it thorough. In both cases I put it on to watch the first segment or two, but ended up watching the entire thing in one sitting. Fascinating stuff for anyone with more than a passing interest in either franchise.
 
2014-04-24 05:23:57 AM  

Jizz Master Zero: You're saying that like Platinum Dunes gives a shiat.


They do care. They care about making money. That's why the movie will DEFINITELY have Jason Voorhees in it. They're not going to turn it into some art film or something.
 
2014-04-24 05:25:07 AM  

Jizz Master Zero: Anyone really interested in the Friday the 13th franchise needs to get Crystal Lake Memories. It's a nearly 7-hour documentary from the same people who did Never Sleep Again, the 4-hour Nightmare on Elm Street documentary. Boy howdy, is it thorough. In both cases I put it on to watch the first segment or two, but ended up watching the entire thing in one sitting. Fascinating stuff for anyone with more than a passing interest in either franchise.


Yeah I've seen that. Good stuff.
 
2014-04-24 05:26:27 AM  
How about rebooting Friday the 13th: The Series?
 
2014-04-24 05:33:43 AM  

batlock666: How about rebooting Friday the 13th: The Series?


That was a good show. I especially remember one with a cute girl in a wheelchair. I don't remember any specifics, but I would assume she got back at her tormentors or something. I've no idea why that one particular episode stuck with me. I remember a good deal about the Freddy's Nightmares show, though.

/the 80's Twilight Zone was largely better than both
 
2014-04-24 05:49:02 AM  

robohobo: Cheater71: robohobo: Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Seems like these things should be cake. Steady stream of new audience, new fads, new music. And when it's time to reboot Star Trek again just get him beamed aboard the Enterprise. Not many virgins there.

[img2.wikia.nocookie.net image 431x460]
/been done. kinda.

I really wish they'd just make a sequel following that film. Jason hunting down campers in the future, it could work...

Didn't his parts end up back in a lake on Earth that was? An Earth rendered inhospitable? Or was it Earth 2?


I remember in the end he crashed into a lake, i assume, crystal lake. Then two teenagers decided to go see what it was that fell from the sky.
 
2014-04-24 05:52:31 AM  

AcademGreen: Hollywoods reboot cycle is approaching criticality.


Its approaching the 18th century opera cycle in Venice. Hundreds of mediocre operas done and gone, but they keep revisiting the dozen or so really good ones.
 
2014-04-24 06:10:45 AM  
Cheater71:

I remember in the end he crashed into a lake, i assume, crystal lake. Then two teenagers decided to go see what it was that fell from the sky.

That's what's great about Friday the 13th. The basic premise is timeless. As long as there are horny teenagers that go camping, you can tell the story of the boy that drowned in the lake and how he's come back to kill all the campers. Maybe that was what they were saying at the end of Jason X or maybe I'm giving that silly movie waaay too much credit.

/ I enjoyed the hell out of that stupid movie
 
2014-04-24 06:25:19 AM  

Smashed Hat: Cheater71:

I remember in the end he crashed into a lake, i assume, crystal lake. Then two teenagers decided to go see what it was that fell from the sky.

That's what's great about Friday the 13th. The basic premise is timeless. As long as there are horny teenagers that go camping, you can tell the story of the boy that drowned in the lake and how he's come back to kill all the campers. Maybe that was what they were saying at the end of Jason X or maybe I'm giving that silly movie waaay too much credit.

/ I enjoyed the hell out of that stupid movie


This.  Out of all the 1970s-1990s horror icons, Jason Vorhees is my favorite.  I know Freddy Krueger had more personality, and he was more evil (he's a child molestor/killer who burned to death by the parents of his victims as opposed to a retarded kid who drowned because the camp counselors were off having sex), but dammit: I love that hulking, hockey mask-wearing undead killer!
 
2014-04-24 06:28:18 AM  
Every time you think he's finally dead.
 
2014-04-24 06:32:50 AM  
Still trying to figure out how he had electricity at the abandoned camprground in the last one.  Did he go pay the power bill every month?
 
2014-04-24 06:58:48 AM  
Jason is being rebooted, and Arsenio is on TV again. Does this mean there's a chance of these two greats reuniting?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09yOZsZuxMY
 
2014-04-24 07:27:22 AM  

robohobo: batlock666: How about rebooting Friday the 13th: The Series?

That was a good show. I especially remember one with a cute girl in a wheelchair. I don't remember any specifics, but I would assume she got back at her tormentors or something. I've no idea why that one particular episode stuck with me. I remember a good deal about the Freddy's Nightmares show, though.

/the 80's Twilight Zone was largely better than both


I remember watching an episode of Friday the 13th:  The Series, and almost fell out of my chair when it said it was directed by David Cronenberg.  Then again, he showed up in Jason X as an actor, so he must have some sort of weird affinity to it.
 
2014-04-24 07:52:11 AM  
How about in this version Jason doesn't kill anyone and he has to recover haunted antiques
 
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