If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fox News)   Everyone in the US South discovered to be African American   (foxnews.com) divider line 56
    More: Interesting, US South, African-Americans, Geological Society of America, Southeastern United States, Mid-Atlantic Ridge, bore-holes, San Andreas  
•       •       •

12025 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2014 at 12:56 PM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



56 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-04-23 12:57:10 PM
::peeks inside underpants::

Nope
 
2014-04-23 12:57:45 PM
Will we have to pay reparations?
 
2014-04-23 12:58:27 PM
I am from the waist down.
 
2014-04-23 12:58:32 PM
So southerners can now band together over a single cause, and that causes is getting a bunch of guns and sailing over to reclaim the rest of Africa that was obviously taken from them.
 
2014-04-23 12:59:06 PM
I've read about this before. the Florida peninsula originally started out as part of the African continental plate, but got stuck to the North American continent when the two separated.

The take-away? America's wang is African.
 
2014-04-23 12:59:58 PM
Technically, we're all African-Americans, if you go back far enough.
 
2014-04-23 01:00:55 PM
Always interesting to see Fox News report on tectonic movements.
 
2014-04-23 01:01:05 PM

C-Dilly: Technically, we're all African-Americans, if you go back far enough.


Are you talking about the bus... ?
 
2014-04-23 01:02:44 PM
Be funny to watch the New Black Panthers dump pantloads seeing a lot of whites now claiming to be African American. That would be precious watching those bigots reactions
 
2014-04-23 01:02:56 PM
Well I'll be damn...My primary submission as an active Farker made the main page.  Not the best headline but hey.

/subby

/evidently African American

/off to buy lottery tickets
 
2014-04-23 01:05:08 PM
Does this mean Obama will love us now?
 
2014-04-23 01:06:56 PM
So is this going to be a racist rant thread or not?
 
2014-04-23 01:22:21 PM
I bet the KKK is pissed
 
2014-04-23 01:22:55 PM
Lots of folks in Hollywood, too.
www.eonline.com
 
2014-04-23 01:26:19 PM
Mammy!
 
2014-04-23 01:30:59 PM

cgraves67: I've read about this before. the Florida peninsula originally started out as part of the African continental plate, but got stuck to the North American continent when the two separated.

The take-away? America's wang is African.


I thought Florida was America's strap-on?
 
2014-04-23 01:34:56 PM
As someone who is actually 1/8 black--and therefore, by the old rules of Louisiana, full-on black except where it would actually count--I am so getting a kick out of this.
 
2014-04-23 01:36:26 PM
"That rift zone split open and caused volcanic eruptions which created new oceanic crust -- what is today the crust of the Earth under the Atlantic Ocean. The rifting continues today at what's called the Mid-Atlantic Ridge. "


What a riff zone might sound like
 
2014-04-23 01:37:11 PM
Yeah, I'm half black. Sadly, not from the waist down...My credit sucks, and I don't pay child support.
 
2014-04-23 01:41:21 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: C-Dilly: Technically, we're all African-Americans, if you go back far enough.

Are you talking about the bus... ?


I was on that bus.
 
2014-04-23 01:50:50 PM
Somebody find another source for the story; Fox is going to drop this like it was plutonium.
 
2014-04-23 01:51:48 PM
FTA: "There was an attempt to rip away Florida and southern Georgia," said Hatcher.

bugsbunnyFL.gif
 
2014-04-23 01:52:09 PM

C-Dilly: Technically, we're all African-Americans, if you go back far enough.


Even the Canadians?
 
2014-04-23 01:52:32 PM
A study that was done in the 1950s estimated that 25% of white Americans had at least some African ancestry, while a more recent estimate says about 33% of African Americans have some European ancestry.

Now that could mean several different things. For example, it could mean that one in four of your white American ancestors has a black American ancestor. Or it could mean that one in four white family households has a black American ancestor.

If it meant the latter, then 100% is way too high and won't be accurate for some time to come although eventually it will definitely be true.

If the former were true, than you would all have a black ancestor because you all have four grandparents, eight great-grandparents and so forth. The odds are heavily stacked against anybody due to the powers of 2.

Which are: 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1,024, 2,048, 4,096, 8,192, 16,384 and so forth. I have only memorized the powers of two to 2**13. By the way, I am a member of Generation 13 as Whozit it, Douglas Copeland, called us. Some of my family lineages have been in Canada or the US or both for 13 generations. By some I mean thousands of them.
 
2014-04-23 01:53:23 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: Yeah, I'm half black. Sadly, not from the waist down...My credit sucks, and I don't pay child support.


Are you at least attractive? That counts for a lot
 
2014-04-23 01:54:35 PM

By a weird coincidence this subduction of part of Africa led to uplifting part of the Appalachian highlands and the upland area just before them were a prime location for slave cotton plantations. That area is known as the Black Belt because of a largely Black population that persists even today. So the Black Belt (at least in Georgia and Alabama) has African roots in more than one sense.

upload.wikimedia.org a57.foxnews.com

 
2014-04-23 02:11:32 PM
So are we saying that our melanin-enhanced friends and neighbors weren't brought over here to be slaves, but just to reunite them with part of their homeland? This says volumes about the American civil-war if that is the case.

/E1b1b1a representin'.
 
2014-04-23 02:14:02 PM

brantgoose: A study that was done in the 1950s estimated that 25% of white Americans had at least some African ancestry, while a more recent estimate says about 33% of African Americans have some European ancestry.


I almost went full autism and tried to nitpick this.
 
2014-04-23 02:15:56 PM

C-Dilly: Technically, we're all African-Americans, if you go back far enough.


No way. I can trace my roots back to Thomas Jeffer..........um, never mind.
 
2014-04-23 02:19:37 PM

C-Dilly: Technically, we're all African-Americans, if you go back far enough.


Did you see that documentary called The Human Family Tree?

My first thought was similar to yours, which then reminded me of the documentary.
 
2014-04-23 02:22:23 PM

cornEthanol: Well I'll be damn...My primary submission as an active Farker made the main page.  Not the best headline but hey.

/subby
/evidently African American
/off to buy lottery tickets


Came in to give a golf clap on the headline.

*golf clap*
 
2014-04-23 02:29:14 PM

mdeesnuts: cornEthanol: Well I'll be damn...My primary submission as an active Farker made the main page.  Not the best headline but hey.

/subby
/evidently African American
/off to buy lottery tickets

Came in to give a golf clap on the headline.

*golf clap*


That's a high compliment.  Thanks.
 
2014-04-23 02:35:40 PM
I have not discovered an African ancestor yet, but I do have cousins, as I have pointed out before:

1. Obama is currently my 9th cousin some times removed. His white mother was a Dunham, of a Colonial American family. His numerous family in America and Kenya would be mostly half-cousins. He has a couple of near relations in Toronto, one of whom is an Asian inlaw, so the diversity of his family is just growing by hopey-changey leaps and bounds.

2. The Jamaican Canadian boxer Donovan Boucher is a cousin as well. His Mother was Jamaican but his Father was from an early Canadian pioneer family with an estimated 350,000 families in the USA and Canada descended from just Marin Boucher alone. I am descended at least twice from him, at least once from his sister, Mme. Jeanne Amiot, and a couple of times from his illustrious relation (probably a cousin) Pierre Boucher de Boucherville, Seigneur of a 60,000 acre seigneurie just across the river and a bit downstream from Montreal.

3. My ancestor Guillaume Couillard was given the first African known to have resided in Quebec when his owner was forced to return to Canada because of some legal concerns. His name was Oliver Lejeune (named after the priest who baptized him, as was their wont in those days) and he was picked off the beach in Madagascar when he was 10, just like Kunta Kinte. This was not the usual way for acquiring slaves, by the way. Usually you bought them, but he was "acquired" by the Anglo-French privateers the Kirke Brothers who liberated New France from the English occupation just before the date Couillard received the lad as a going-away present. As is customary in these cases he raised the lad like one of his own and didn't exploit him as cheap labour at all. Or not. Who knows?

4. My ancestor Louis Hébert came to North America on the buddy system with Matthieu DaCosta, a Portugueese navigator with black ancestry. He was a free man and not a slave. Hébert was an apothecary and the ship's physician. His family was a wealthy family of Parisian apothecaries who included the Queen Mother Maria de Mediciamong their clientele. He (Hébert) sent back samples of Canadian plants to France, where they were added to the Royal botanical collection. Bear River and Bear Island, Nova Scotia are named for him and not for bears. Stupid English probably thought the French were saying Hey, Bear!

Some of my ancestors in Canada and the US owned slaves but generally not a lot of them. Slavery never really caught on in the Great White North, and half of the slaves the French owned or freed were Indians or prisoners of Indians. The French were in the habit of freeing white slaves and some great French Canadian families descend from missing New Englanders. If your name is White and you are missing some ancestors, try the Ouaite family. Their spelling is phonetic, in case you don't notice.

The French were generally a bit less racist than the English and other ethnicities that poured into the US and some of them married their slaves but not a lot. There were only about 4,000 slaves in all any way IIRC, and about half of them were Indians or colonists from New England and New Holland.

There are, by the way, surprisingly few French Canadians with Indian ancestors because only a few of the many "country marriages" contracted by fur-traders and the like riff-raff were sanctified by a church wedding. Most of the French-Indian métis are just that--métis or natives. A very small number of weddings are recorded. I believe I have one or two in French Canada and one in the US where a Rhode Island Quaker family adopted the daughter of a local Sachem when he was killed in battle. That's only three Indians in thousands or even tens of thousands of possible great-grandmothers (and the odd great-grandfather).

THIS IS WHY CHEROKEE ANCESTORS ARE SO COLLECTIBLE.

I suspect that they are a sort of politically correct get of jail free card if the natives should ever overwhelm us when we're all falling down drunk. You might be able to talk your way out of deportation if you have one great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother who is Cherokee or Kickapoo.

White people don't mean to be stupid racists but they (we) are. Just treat them (us) like retarded kids, please. We mean well, mostly, sort of.

I forgive the Iroquois for slaughtering a lot of my ancestors. A lot of them were asking for it. And we probably slaughtered a lot of theirs, plus any brown people from Bombay who happened by at the time. Gringos:  we're still dumb as bricks after all these years, aren't we? I know you are.

Thanks for the Indian Name but I already have it. What could be more Indian than Brantgoose? I bear the same name as Chief Joseph Brant and his sister Molly. He was a bit of a jerk some times, but she was the real power broker in the family so let's just say I bear HER name proudly.

Since I am a descendant of Bad Prince John (of Robin Hood fame) I am related to all of the US Presidents including those who owned slaves, so I can't escape US-Canadian history.  Van Buren is the only President without a King John descent (yet). He was mostly Dutch by ancestry. They might get him yet.

But I digress.

By the way, when they say that Beetoven was part black, they don't mean African. They mean Gypsy. The Gypsies did not come from Egypt. They came from Pakistan-India way. Apparently a lot of the ancestors of Pakistanis went the other way--there's a surprisingly large number of Scots and English mean who share their Y chromosome with Pakistanis of Eurasian extraction. Boy would they be surprised to know it.

Anybody want to hand out free gene-testing kits for yuks?
 
2014-04-23 02:36:43 PM

cornEthanol: mdeesnuts: *golf clap*

That's a high compliment.  Thanks.



I'm a white southern african american. I chuckled like a school girl.
 
2014-04-23 02:39:50 PM
I should point out that Madagascar is an island off the coast of Africa a few hundred miles and was settled from Indonesia, so Oliver Lejeune was not a black African proto-Canadian but an Old Indonesian African. He was a handful in later years apparently. I'm not surprised. Being the first Indo-Canadian must have been tough. Harder even than being Shaun Majumber, the Indo-Newfie Canadian.
 
2014-04-23 02:41:44 PM

MBooda: Lots of folks in Hollywood, too.
[www.eonline.com image 634x1024]


I thought that Oompah Loompahs had no females. What's up with this girl then? Is she an orange Smurf?
 
2014-04-23 02:49:03 PM

HairBolus: By a weird coincidence this subduction of part of Africa led to uplifting part of the Appalachian highlands and the upland area just before them were a prime location for slave cotton plantations. That area is known as the Black Belt because of a largely Black population that persists even today. So the Black Belt (at least in Georgia and Alabama) has African roots in more than one sense.[upload.wikimedia.org image 275x179] [a57.foxnews.com image 425x239]


There's strips of rock along the coast of New England and possibly Nova Scotia and Newfoundland that were left behind when America and Africa separated.

I have never been to Africa but I may very well have stood upon African bed rock in Maine or crossed it in Connecticut. There was a Zippy the Pinhead cartoon about this.

The one thing I regret about the Appalachian Mountains is that they seem to be devoid of dinosaurs. In my native New Brunswick and in Nova Scotia you get fossils of early reptiles and amphibians but by the time of the dinosaurs the Appalachians were a chain of high mountains (like the Rockies today) and dinosaurs were apparently not good climbers. Dinosaurs are mostly found along the shores of the inland sea that ran from the Gulf of Mexico to the Arctic Ocean and possibly ran into Hudson's Bay.

Speaking of the Arctic, one of the expeditions to the Far North of Canada included an African American who proved that the Inuit and Africans can produce children together despite being about as separated as any two populations on Earth. What goes around, comes around. Blood, continents, love, hate, you name it.
 
2014-04-23 03:02:06 PM

brantgoose: There's strips of rock along the coast of New England and possibly Nova Scotia and Newfoundland that were left behind when America and Africa separated.


Also the Hudson River Palisades in New York/New Jersey, if I'm remembering it correctly. The other half of the formation's in Morocco, in the Atlas Mountains. John McPhee discussed this in his excellent book Annals of the Former World.
 
2014-04-23 03:57:14 PM

johnson442: Will we have to pay receive reparations?

 
2014-04-23 04:04:53 PM
Hey,wait a minute

This is one of those "lol look at the people that dnrtfa" threads isn't it?
 
2014-04-23 04:29:24 PM

Tenga: I am from the waist down.


Finally some disproves that stereotype.
 
2014-04-23 04:47:03 PM
"African American" isn't a real thing, it's just a made up word.
 
2014-04-23 04:59:02 PM

MemeSlave: "African American" isn't a real thing, it's just a made up word.



Aren't all words made up at some point? They become real when we collectively start using them.
 
2014-04-23 05:04:43 PM

FloridaFarkTag: Be funny to watch the New Black Panthers dump pantloads seeing a lot of whites now claiming to be African American. That would be precious watching those bigots reactions


All 12 of them?
 
2014-04-23 05:05:11 PM
They just discovered that they all were born in Africa, and were seeking citizenship here?
 
2014-04-23 05:41:45 PM

brantgoose: A study that was done in the 1950s estimated that 25% of white Americans had at least some African ancestry, while a more recent estimate says about 33% of African Americans have some European ancestry.

Now that could mean several different things. For example, it could mean that one in four of your white American ancestors has a black American ancestor. Or it could mean that one in four white family households has a black American ancestor.

If it meant the latter, then 100% is way too high and won't be accurate for some time to come although eventually it will definitely be true.

If the former were true, than you would all have a black ancestor because you all have four grandparents, eight great-grandparents and so forth. The odds are heavily stacked against anybody due to the powers of 2.

Which are: 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1,024, 2,048, 4,096, 8,192, 16,384 and so forth. I have only memorized the powers of two to 2**13. By the way, I am a member of Generation 13 as Whozit it, Douglas Copeland, called us. Some of my family lineages have been in Canada or the US or both for 13 generations. By some I mean thousands of them.


[citation needed]
 
2014-04-23 05:55:16 PM
Finally, the Republicans have found a way to appeal to African-American voters!!
 
2014-04-23 08:23:45 PM

HairBolus: By a weird coincidence this subduction of part of Africa led to uplifting part of the Appalachian highlands and the upland area just before them were a prime location for slave cotton plantations. That area is known as the Black Belt because of a largely Black population that persists even today. So the Black Belt (at least in Georgia and Alabama) has African roots in more than one sense.[upload.wikimedia.org image 275x179] [a57.foxnews.com image 425x239]


So, orogeny precedes phylogeny? Well, I'll be subducted.
 
2014-04-23 09:09:58 PM

FloridaFarkTag: Be funny to watch the New Black Panthers dump pantloads seeing a lot of whites now claiming to be African American. That would be precious watching those bigots reactions


That, or they could just pack it in and start attending Comicon, with all the other cosplayers.
 
2014-04-23 11:45:22 PM

jso2897: FloridaFarkTag: Be funny to watch the New Black Panthers dump pantloads seeing a lot of whites now claiming to be African American. That would be precious watching those bigots reactions

That, or they could just pack it in and start attending Comicon, with all the other cosplayers.


not sure if serious or black
 
Displayed 50 of 56 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report