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(Jezebel)   Apparently these milk executives thought the public was of the opinion, "You know, I would buy more milk if milk commercials made a lot more innuendos." This is what 8 oz. of protein looks like. [video goodness]   (jezebel.com) divider line 87
    More: Strange, milk, proteins  
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7775 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2014 at 12:59 PM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



87 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-23 11:27:15 AM
If you're getting tons of "innuendo" from that commercial, you might actually be the one with the problem.
 
2014-04-23 11:39:04 AM
What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?
 
2014-04-23 11:51:01 AM
img.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-23 12:28:45 PM

sigdiamond2000: What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?


Me.  I'm a mutant who has the super amazing ability to digest lactose into adulthood!

Pass the pasteurized, homogenized whole milk.

Cheese is good too

Yogurt. Good.

Kefir is nice too.

Ice cream yummy.

Cheesecake kills me though.  Something about the combination of sugar and fat does me in.  Same problem with friend chicken.

Yes, I sound fat, but I'm only 10lbs overweight at the moment and losing that rapidly since biking season arrived.  I look positively svelte around my family
 
2014-04-23 12:47:41 PM
i1309.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-23 01:01:37 PM

Pocket Ninja: If you're getting tons of "innuendo" from that commercial, you might actually be the one with the problem.


Then why is Peter North their new spokes person?
 
2014-04-23 01:01:59 PM
 
2014-04-23 01:04:48 PM
Friend chicken?
 
2014-04-23 01:07:27 PM
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-23 01:08:10 PM

sigdiamond2000: What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?


\o
 
2014-04-23 01:08:37 PM
Linda West needs to get laid.

Pronto.
 
2014-04-23 01:08:42 PM

unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)


"So, why did you leave your last job?"
"I was let go for watching one, lousy video on YouTube.  Or fapping at my desk.  They weren't clear on the specifics."
 
2014-04-23 01:10:16 PM

Savage Bacon: Linday West needs to get laid.

Pronto.


FTFM

/guess I need to get laid, too
//no, not by you, Lindy
 
2014-04-23 01:12:00 PM

sigdiamond2000: What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?


What, you think drinking rat's milk makes you better than us?
 
2014-04-23 01:13:08 PM

unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)


Why not?  It works for orange juice (VERY nsfw)
 
2014-04-23 01:13:36 PM
If you're getting tons of "innuendo" from that commercial, you might actually be the one with the problem.

Exactly.  I see innuendo almost everywhere but not in that commercial.
 
2014-04-23 01:14:48 PM

Pocket Ninja: If you're getting tons of "innuendo" from that commercial, you might actually be the one with the problem.


DNWTFC, but isn't "milk porn" a thing?
 
2014-04-23 01:15:02 PM
Are we no longer doing "phrasing"?
 
2014-04-23 01:15:42 PM

unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)


What another may look like.(NSFW?)


Feline disrespect from behind!
 
2014-04-23 01:16:18 PM

RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]


Subliminal, but I'm thinking " MOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" i my head for some reason.
 
2014-04-23 01:17:37 PM
WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT IT LOOKS LIKE THESE PEOPLE ARE SO EXCITED ABOUT BASKETBALL AND DOG-WALKING THAT THEY LITERALLY EXPLODE INTO WATERFALLS OF HOT JISM.


You know Lindy, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and a splash of milk is just a splash of milk.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

=Smidge=
(All caps actually from TFA)
 
2014-04-23 01:17:40 PM

Dr Dreidel: but isn't "milk porn" a thing?


Uh. Really? SFW
 
2014-04-23 01:18:17 PM

DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 600x445]


The Simpsons' parody of The View also applies to Jezebel

Host: "Man-"
Audience: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Homer: "Boring! (changes channel)
 
2014-04-23 01:19:53 PM

static.guim.co.uk


"Heh, hemm, he hrrm, heh, "Jizzfest!"




"Hehem hm, heheh, BOI OI OINNG!"

 
2014-04-23 01:19:56 PM

sigdiamond2000: What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?


I only drink human breast milk from women who eat hormone and steroid free organic foods.

Why yes, I am better than you.
 
2014-04-23 01:20:27 PM

unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)


I'll be in my bunk...with, uh...milk.

And apparently orange juice...
 
2014-04-23 01:33:02 PM

Madaynun: Friend chicken?


that's the chicken your SO caught you with but you swear nothing happened
 
2014-04-23 01:36:39 PM
It was kinda dumb. Wouldn't call it pornographic though.
 
2014-04-23 01:37:37 PM
Jezebel and The Onion are my two favorite satire sites.
 
2014-04-23 01:42:17 PM
First of all, semen has very little protein in it.  The protein joke people make isn't based on reality.

Second, most of the commercial doesn't look in any way sexual.  In the beginning scene, there's a child and a woman running along and there are pinwheels of milk coming out of their backs.  In another scene, there's a girl singing and milk is pouring out of her hand as she spins it around.  None of that seems sexual.

The basketball scene, though... it does look like the guy is leaping into the area with a fountain of jizz propelling him up.
 
2014-04-23 01:42:55 PM
Watching SJW's and internet anti-paladins fightpassive-aggressively snipe at each other on different websites is like the biggest sperglord wussy slapfight on the playground.
 
2014-04-23 01:44:52 PM
Seems like this is stolen directly from the recent sports drink commercials ( pretty sure Gatorade, not positive)... Same exact thing - athletes athleting, waterfalls of the product falling out of them.

Looks a bit more jizzy with milk... But yeah, largely a case of 'I see what I'm looking for.'
 
2014-04-23 01:45:54 PM

unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)


Wow, that was boring, stupid and not at all sexy. And I like her.
 
2014-04-23 01:51:47 PM
Or, it could just be how much protien is in a standard glass of milk:

One cup of whole milk, or the equivalent of an 8-ounce serving, provides about 150 calories, 7.7 grams of protein and 28 percent of the daily value for calcium.

Girl needs a vacation.
 
2014-04-23 01:52:12 PM

Pocket Ninja: If you're getting tons of "innuendo" from that commercial, you might actually be the one with the problem.


And we're done.
 
2014-04-23 01:52:30 PM
Ejaculation Imagery.
 
2014-04-23 01:58:08 PM

RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]


Yeah, I like how she mentions she's against osteoarthritis, and yet looks like she hasn't lifted more than that bag of M&Ms or walked farther than the pantry she keeps it in.

Oh, and anyone got a match?
 
2014-04-23 01:59:59 PM

packman_jon: sigdiamond2000: What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?

What, you think drinking rat's milk makes you better than us?


Well, it does provide vitamin R...
 
2014-04-23 02:01:41 PM

rzrwiresunrise: RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]

Yeah, I like how she mentions she's against osteoarthritis, and yet looks like she hasn't lifted more than that bag of M&Ms or walked farther than the pantry she keeps it in.

Oh, and anyone got a match?


First her doctor fat-shamed her by saying she should get some exercise.

Now you're doing it.

Typical male.
 
2014-04-23 02:03:00 PM
That rant cracked me up. I've always referred  to that site as Jizzebel
 
2014-04-23 02:08:53 PM
Jezebel clearly has no idea what jism looks like.

Go watch a bukakke vid where 50 men fill a beer bong with splooge and then get back to us.

In the meantime, there's enough shiat going on in the world that we don't need manufactured shock and outrage.
 
2014-04-23 02:10:26 PM
Lindy West is proof that loneliness and boredom eventually devolve into prurience.

Any 14-year-old boy home alone is proof enough, you just don't normally see someone so open and proud about it on the internet.

Look, Lindy, just drag those size 22 pants down to your cankles, lay on your mattress (the one with a sag-trench in it the size of a small canoe), and give that nasty, abundantly-lipped cooch a little hand time.  Do it now, so you'll stop sublimating your misery into appalling blog articles like this shiat.
 
2014-04-23 02:11:13 PM
I saw absolutely no innuendo in this, but then again I'm not a raging lunatic obsessed with finding sexual harassment in everything.
 
2014-04-23 02:13:30 PM

sweatybronson: Seems like this is stolen directly from the recent sports drink commercials ( pretty sure Gatorade, not positive)... Same exact thing - athletes athleting, waterfalls of the product falling out of them.

Looks a bit more jizzy with milk... But yeah, largely a case of 'I see what I'm looking for.'


It was Gatorade, but that actually had a point.  They replace at athlete's sweat with Gatorade to point out the use of electrolytes in their beverage.  Gatorade is actually just really tasty sweat.  That was the entire point of it.

The kid dunking is a little jizzy.  The rest of it is fine.  I wouldn't have gone past an orgasm gif joke with it though.
 
2014-04-23 02:15:42 PM

sigdiamond2000: What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?


What other kind of milk should I drink?  Milk is delicious.  A 20oz styrofoam cup of really cold milk is the tits.
 
2014-04-23 02:16:33 PM

Pangea: rzrwiresunrise: RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]

Yeah, I like how she mentions she's against osteoarthritis, and yet looks like she hasn't lifted more than that bag of M&Ms or walked farther than the pantry she keeps it in.

Oh, and anyone got a match?

First her doctor fat-shamed her by saying she should get some exercise.

Now you're doing it.

Typical male.


Let's just say the kind of mouth-breathing I like out of my women doesn't come from climbing three steps.
 
2014-04-23 02:19:58 PM

ZMugg: unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)

What another may look like.(NSFW?)


Feline disrespect from behind!


img.fark.net
 
2014-04-23 02:26:57 PM

rzrwiresunrise: ZMugg: unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)

What another may look like.(NSFW?)


Feline disrespect from behind!

[img.fark.net image 145x101]


My reaction, exactly.
 
2014-04-23 02:49:09 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-23 02:59:32 PM

rzrwiresunrise: RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]

Yeah, I like how she mentions she's against osteoarthritis, and yet looks like she hasn't lifted more than that bag of M&Ms or walked farther than the pantry she keeps it in.

Oh, and anyone got a match?


Fun fact:
It's the skinny little stick-people that are more apt to osteoarthritis.
All that meat that the chubby folks are hauling actually strengthens the bones and helps keeps their density up.
Me doctor told me so when I asked about this.

That's not to say there isn't a happy medium in there somewhere however: both healthy weight AND strong bones...
 
2014-04-23 03:03:02 PM
So I had to watch a commercial to watch a commercial?
 
2014-04-23 03:05:53 PM

DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 600x445]


Should be the Boobies in every Jezebel thread.

calbert: [i1309.photobucket.com image 400x300]


A bit off topic, but that's a "Thanks Obama" gif waiting to happen.
 
2014-04-23 03:06:17 PM
these are being used in ads for some sort of milkish product on street level billboards where I'm at . . .

splashy (nsfwish)

\\ very nice
\ I think they are airbrushing out the nipples, but it is dangerous to get closer and stare too much . . .
 
2014-04-23 03:06:52 PM
Lindy West seems like a really pleasant person to be around.
 
2014-04-23 03:26:32 PM

Yanks_RSJ: Lindy West seems like a really pleasant person to be around.


Yeah she does. 9sarcasm)

What a biatch.
 
2014-04-23 03:28:00 PM
OK, I guess that link was tossed on account of: They're douchebags: 403 Not allowed

http://www.returnofkings.com/25103/fat-feminist-lindy-west-has-intern e t-meltdown-because-she-cant-fit-in-airplane-seat

Copy and paste if you want to read it.
 
2014-04-23 03:29:52 PM
The  my lonesome cowboy sculpture by japanese artist takashi murakami would probably be considered NSFW  these days, so follow the link at your own peril.

/ there is one of a girl, too, skipping rope with her breast milk also NSFW
 
kgf
2014-04-23 03:33:20 PM
Hey subby, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
 
2014-04-23 03:40:03 PM

Yanks_RSJ: Lindy West


No shiat. I thought fatties were supposed to be jolly.
 
2014-04-23 03:47:55 PM

ReverendJynxed: Yanks_RSJ: Lindy West

No shiat. I thought fatties were supposed to be jolly.


Man, I love his guitar work.  Mountain rocked.
 
2014-04-23 04:00:09 PM
Dear Milk people,

I like milk, please don't make me think of a mans lap spackle when I drink it.

Thank you.
 
2014-04-23 04:06:56 PM
Guys?  Hey guys?  HOMO-genized!  Amirite?  Guys?  Guys?

Hellooo?
 
2014-04-23 04:23:01 PM
I just keep thinking this lady has a platform to reach a lot of people. A lot. A platform that welcomes progressive controversy. She could say some very meaningful things. Make a lot of intelligent observations about life and the media, and women, and whatever she wanted. She could make a difference.

And this is what happened when she got that platform. This was OK.


I am a woman, btw. Also I keep getting banned from posting on that website.
 
2014-04-23 04:23:23 PM
DanZero: img.fark.net

This is exactly what I think of every time I see Jezebel referenced on here.
 
2014-04-23 04:23:40 PM

Kid Shelleen: ReverendJynxed: Yanks_RSJ: Lindy West

No shiat. I thought fatties were supposed to be jolly.

Man, I love his guitar work.  Mountain rocked.


That ^^^^ - I finally started listening to more than 'Mississippi Queen' just two weeks ago; holy shiat, Mountain was fan-farking-tastic!

/Nantucket Sleighride
//Dreams of Milk and Honey
///Mountainous slashies
 
2014-04-23 04:33:27 PM

syzygy whizz: rzrwiresunrise: RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]

Yeah, I like how she mentions she's against osteoarthritis, and yet looks like she hasn't lifted more than that bag of M&Ms or walked farther than the pantry she keeps it in.

Oh, and anyone got a match?

Fun fact:
It's the skinny little stick-people that are more apt to osteoarthritis.
All that meat that the chubby folks are hauling actually strengthens the bones and helps keeps their density up.
Me doctor told me so when I asked about this.

That's not to say there isn't a happy medium in there somewhere however: both healthy weight AND strong bones...


In both cases, resistance training using heavy loads at low volume is a good preventive measure.
 
2014-04-23 04:41:34 PM
Some people just don't care for dairy

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-23 04:54:43 PM
1. If a guy's jism looks like that, then there's something wrong with him.

2. Know how I can tell the Jezeblogger has had limited contact with jism?
 
2014-04-23 04:54:48 PM

WeenerGord: The  my lonesome cowboy sculpture by japanese artist takashi murakami would probably be considered NSFW  these days, so follow the link at your own peril.

/ there is one of a girl, too, skipping rope with her breast milk also NSFW


img.fark.net
 
2014-04-23 04:56:17 PM

Precision Boobery: Some people just don't care for dairy

[25.media.tumblr.com image 250x170]


That's killing me. I recognize it, but I can't place it.
 
2014-04-23 04:59:48 PM

Dr Dreidel: Precision Boobery: Some people just don't care for dairy

[25.media.tumblr.com image 250x170]

That's killing me. I recognize it, but I can't place it.


Black Hole Sun video.
 
2014-04-23 06:17:48 PM

Pangea: rzrwiresunrise: RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]

Yeah, I like how she mentions she's against osteoarthritis, and yet looks like she hasn't lifted more than that bag of M&Ms or walked farther than the pantry she keeps it in.

Oh, and anyone got a match?

First her doctor fat-shamed her by saying she should get some exercise.

Now you're doing it.

Typical male.


The thing about fat shaming is, is like, if you're morbidly obese and the size of a hippopliptimoose and stuffing it in with both hands, maybe, just maybe, your doctor doesn't want you croak.
 
2014-04-23 06:51:55 PM

bunner: The thing about fat shaming is, is like, if you're morbidly obese and the size of a hippopliptimoose and stuffing it in with both hands, maybe, just maybe, your doctor doesn't want you croak.


...some shaming is for your own good, therefore justified??
 
2014-04-23 07:29:31 PM
I enjoyed the responses. Even obvious sarcasm gets a response when people care deeply.

I no longer even support universal health care anymore. I go to the gym every day and I get judgemental sometimes.
 
2014-04-23 07:40:50 PM

WeenerGord: bunner: The thing about fat shaming is, is like, if you're morbidly obese and the size of a hippopliptimoose and stuffing it in with both hands, maybe, just maybe, your doctor doesn't want you croak.

...some shaming is for your own good, therefore justified??


He probably didn't shame her at all he just said might wanna go for a walk or eat better because you are all fine and dandy now but that weight adds up after a while and then your weight hurts. You hurt to move, struggle to breath, sleep apnea, type 2 diabetes, heart trouble because your heart is pumping blood a long distance than it's used to.
Facts hurt because they are true and the truth hurts her feels.
 
2014-04-23 11:20:33 PM

WeenerGord: bunner: The thing about fat shaming is, is like, if you're morbidly obese and the size of a hippopliptimoose and stuffing it in with both hands, maybe, just maybe, your doctor doesn't want you croak.

...some shaming is for your own good, therefore justified??


obviously. Shame is a powerful motivator, and some people need to be motivated.
 
2014-04-24 12:04:05 AM
Yes, shame can motivate people into depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, overeating or suicide. It's great!
 
2014-04-24 12:15:03 AM

BraniacsDaughtr: Yes, shame can motivate people into depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, overeating or suicide. It's great!



those are the only choices you would chose?
 
2014-04-24 12:30:57 AM
Just sayin' that shame isn't the most reliable motivator.
 
2014-04-24 12:41:02 AM

syzygy whizz: rzrwiresunrise: RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]

Yeah, I like how she mentions she's against osteoarthritis, and yet looks like she hasn't lifted more than that bag of M&Ms or walked farther than the pantry she keeps it in.

Oh, and anyone got a match?

Fun fact:
It's the skinny little stick-people that are more apt to osteoarthritis.
All that meat that the chubby folks are hauling actually strengthens the bones and helps keeps their density up.
Me doctor told me so when I asked about this.

That's not to say there isn't a happy medium in there somewhere however: both healthy weight AND strong bones...


Errr....think you are mistaking osteoarthritis for osteoporosis. Fat people are more prone to wear and tear on their joints (osteoarthritis) than skinny people by virtue of gravity/physics. That same effect, however, actually strengthens bone, making them less susceptible to thin, fragile bones (osteopenia, or its more advanced form, osteoporosis.)

/themoreyouknow
 
2014-04-24 12:55:49 AM

BraniacsDaughtr: Just sayin' that shame isn't the most reliable motivator.



What is the most reliable motivator for getting morbidly obese persons to eat less and exercise more, until they lose the weight?
 
2014-04-24 03:30:25 AM

WeenerGord: bunner: The thing about fat shaming is, is like, if you're morbidly obese and the size of a hippopliptimoose and stuffing it in with both hands, maybe, just maybe, your doctor doesn't want you croak.

...some shaming is for your own good, therefore justified??


Telling someone to exercise is just that: good advice. If fat girl/skinny boy want to make it about body shaming, that's THEIR issue.
 
2014-04-24 04:06:02 AM
Nope, I smell faux rage.

cdn4.gurl.com
8
www.wdexpo.org

grams
media4.onsugar.com
of
2.bp.blogspot.com
protein.
images.teamsugar.com
Wish I could find the one of Jessica Alba. I guess this will do.
www.metro.us
 
2014-04-24 08:44:58 AM

WeenerGord: BraniacsDaughtr: Just sayin' that shame isn't the most reliable motivator.


What is the most reliable motivator for getting morbidly obese persons to eat less and exercise more, until they lose the weight?


I know this idea sounds crazy to bitter, misanthropic jackasses, but...support and encouragement?
 
2014-04-24 09:54:13 AM

LoneWolf343: WeenerGord: BraniacsDaughtr: Just sayin' that shame isn't the most reliable motivator.


What is the most reliable motivator for getting morbidly obese persons to eat less and exercise more, until they lose the weight?

I know this idea sounds crazy to bitter, misanthropic jackasses, but...support and encouragement?


I am not strong enough to support morbidly obese people. I know because not too long ago this old guy fell down in the snow and I tried to help him up and I messed up my back for about a week in the process. I think next time something like that happens I'll just encourage him instead.

Also... Jezebel.com seems singularly fixated on being offended by everything that can possibly misconstrue.
 
2014-04-24 12:10:55 PM

JohnnyC: I am not strong enough to support morbidly obese people.



Haha! I was going to make that joke but you got there first, well done!

Seriously, the only way you can support and encourage the morbidly obese or any other group in denial, is to enable them, and feed them, and reassure them that it is ok.  Is that what Lonewolf means by support and encourage? Because anything else, even the slightest implication that they might want to put down the fork and walk it off, for their own health, will be jumped on and criticized as fat shaming.

That is what the whole joke is about. People in denial about their negative behaviors who do not want change, want enablers and codependents. Support and encouragement to do something that they do not want to do, and have no intention of doing, is just an annoyance. You know that this is true.
 
2014-04-24 01:46:10 PM
i1.ytimg.com

"I'm not saying I'm a commercial expert but I'd make a better milk commercial than that.

Make it nice and simple, I'd just do a close up of a titty and put "Milk" right underneath

If that doesn't sell milk, nothing will boy, I'd tell you that shiat right now"
 
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