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(Jezebel)   Apparently these milk executives thought the public was of the opinion, "You know, I would buy more milk if milk commercials made a lot more innuendos." This is what 8 oz. of protein looks like. [video goodness]   (jezebel.com) divider line 87
    More: Strange, milk, proteins  
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7763 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2014 at 12:59 PM (13 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



87 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-23 11:27:15 AM
If you're getting tons of "innuendo" from that commercial, you might actually be the one with the problem.
 
2014-04-23 11:39:04 AM
What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?
 
2014-04-23 11:51:01 AM
img.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-23 12:28:45 PM

sigdiamond2000: What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?


Me.  I'm a mutant who has the super amazing ability to digest lactose into adulthood!

Pass the pasteurized, homogenized whole milk.

Cheese is good too

Yogurt. Good.

Kefir is nice too.

Ice cream yummy.

Cheesecake kills me though.  Something about the combination of sugar and fat does me in.  Same problem with friend chicken.

Yes, I sound fat, but I'm only 10lbs overweight at the moment and losing that rapidly since biking season arrived.  I look positively svelte around my family
 
2014-04-23 12:47:41 PM
i1309.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-23 01:01:37 PM

Pocket Ninja: If you're getting tons of "innuendo" from that commercial, you might actually be the one with the problem.


Then why is Peter North their new spokes person?
 
2014-04-23 01:01:59 PM
 
2014-04-23 01:04:48 PM
Friend chicken?
 
2014-04-23 01:07:27 PM
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-23 01:08:10 PM

sigdiamond2000: What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?


\o
 
2014-04-23 01:08:37 PM
Linda West needs to get laid.

Pronto.
 
2014-04-23 01:08:42 PM

unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)


"So, why did you leave your last job?"
"I was let go for watching one, lousy video on YouTube.  Or fapping at my desk.  They weren't clear on the specifics."
 
2014-04-23 01:10:16 PM

Savage Bacon: Linday West needs to get laid.

Pronto.


FTFM

/guess I need to get laid, too
//no, not by you, Lindy
 
2014-04-23 01:12:00 PM

sigdiamond2000: What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?


What, you think drinking rat's milk makes you better than us?
 
2014-04-23 01:13:08 PM

unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)


Why not?  It works for orange juice (VERY nsfw)
 
2014-04-23 01:13:36 PM
If you're getting tons of "innuendo" from that commercial, you might actually be the one with the problem.

Exactly.  I see innuendo almost everywhere but not in that commercial.
 
2014-04-23 01:14:48 PM

Pocket Ninja: If you're getting tons of "innuendo" from that commercial, you might actually be the one with the problem.


DNWTFC, but isn't "milk porn" a thing?
 
2014-04-23 01:15:02 PM
Are we no longer doing "phrasing"?
 
2014-04-23 01:15:42 PM

unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)


What another may look like.(NSFW?)


Feline disrespect from behind!
 
2014-04-23 01:16:18 PM

RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]


Subliminal, but I'm thinking " MOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" i my head for some reason.
 
2014-04-23 01:17:37 PM
WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT IT LOOKS LIKE THESE PEOPLE ARE SO EXCITED ABOUT BASKETBALL AND DOG-WALKING THAT THEY LITERALLY EXPLODE INTO WATERFALLS OF HOT JISM.


You know Lindy, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and a splash of milk is just a splash of milk.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

=Smidge=
(All caps actually from TFA)
 
2014-04-23 01:17:40 PM

Dr Dreidel: but isn't "milk porn" a thing?


Uh. Really? SFW
 
2014-04-23 01:18:17 PM

DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 600x445]


The Simpsons' parody of The View also applies to Jezebel

Host: "Man-"
Audience: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Homer: "Boring! (changes channel)
 
2014-04-23 01:19:53 PM

static.guim.co.uk


"Heh, hemm, he hrrm, heh, "Jizzfest!"




"Hehem hm, heheh, BOI OI OINNG!"

 
2014-04-23 01:19:56 PM

sigdiamond2000: What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?


I only drink human breast milk from women who eat hormone and steroid free organic foods.

Why yes, I am better than you.
 
2014-04-23 01:20:27 PM

unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)


I'll be in my bunk...with, uh...milk.

And apparently orange juice...
 
2014-04-23 01:33:02 PM

Madaynun: Friend chicken?


that's the chicken your SO caught you with but you swear nothing happened
 
2014-04-23 01:36:39 PM
It was kinda dumb. Wouldn't call it pornographic though.
 
2014-04-23 01:37:37 PM
Jezebel and The Onion are my two favorite satire sites.
 
2014-04-23 01:42:17 PM
First of all, semen has very little protein in it.  The protein joke people make isn't based on reality.

Second, most of the commercial doesn't look in any way sexual.  In the beginning scene, there's a child and a woman running along and there are pinwheels of milk coming out of their backs.  In another scene, there's a girl singing and milk is pouring out of her hand as she spins it around.  None of that seems sexual.

The basketball scene, though... it does look like the guy is leaping into the area with a fountain of jizz propelling him up.
 
2014-04-23 01:42:55 PM
Watching SJW's and internet anti-paladins fightpassive-aggressively snipe at each other on different websites is like the biggest sperglord wussy slapfight on the playground.
 
2014-04-23 01:44:52 PM
Seems like this is stolen directly from the recent sports drink commercials ( pretty sure Gatorade, not positive)... Same exact thing - athletes athleting, waterfalls of the product falling out of them.

Looks a bit more jizzy with milk... But yeah, largely a case of 'I see what I'm looking for.'
 
2014-04-23 01:45:54 PM

unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)


Wow, that was boring, stupid and not at all sexy. And I like her.
 
2014-04-23 01:51:47 PM
Or, it could just be how much protien is in a standard glass of milk:

One cup of whole milk, or the equivalent of an 8-ounce serving, provides about 150 calories, 7.7 grams of protein and 28 percent of the daily value for calcium.

Girl needs a vacation.
 
2014-04-23 01:52:12 PM

Pocket Ninja: If you're getting tons of "innuendo" from that commercial, you might actually be the one with the problem.


And we're done.
 
2014-04-23 01:52:30 PM
Ejaculation Imagery.
 
2014-04-23 01:58:08 PM

RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]


Yeah, I like how she mentions she's against osteoarthritis, and yet looks like she hasn't lifted more than that bag of M&Ms or walked farther than the pantry she keeps it in.

Oh, and anyone got a match?
 
2014-04-23 01:59:59 PM

packman_jon: sigdiamond2000: What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?

What, you think drinking rat's milk makes you better than us?


Well, it does provide vitamin R...
 
2014-04-23 02:01:41 PM

rzrwiresunrise: RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]

Yeah, I like how she mentions she's against osteoarthritis, and yet looks like she hasn't lifted more than that bag of M&Ms or walked farther than the pantry she keeps it in.

Oh, and anyone got a match?


First her doctor fat-shamed her by saying she should get some exercise.

Now you're doing it.

Typical male.
 
2014-04-23 02:03:00 PM
That rant cracked me up. I've always referred  to that site as Jizzebel
 
2014-04-23 02:08:53 PM
Jezebel clearly has no idea what jism looks like.

Go watch a bukakke vid where 50 men fill a beer bong with splooge and then get back to us.

In the meantime, there's enough shiat going on in the world that we don't need manufactured shock and outrage.
 
2014-04-23 02:10:26 PM
Lindy West is proof that loneliness and boredom eventually devolve into prurience.

Any 14-year-old boy home alone is proof enough, you just don't normally see someone so open and proud about it on the internet.

Look, Lindy, just drag those size 22 pants down to your cankles, lay on your mattress (the one with a sag-trench in it the size of a small canoe), and give that nasty, abundantly-lipped cooch a little hand time.  Do it now, so you'll stop sublimating your misery into appalling blog articles like this shiat.
 
2014-04-23 02:11:13 PM
I saw absolutely no innuendo in this, but then again I'm not a raging lunatic obsessed with finding sexual harassment in everything.
 
2014-04-23 02:13:30 PM

sweatybronson: Seems like this is stolen directly from the recent sports drink commercials ( pretty sure Gatorade, not positive)... Same exact thing - athletes athleting, waterfalls of the product falling out of them.

Looks a bit more jizzy with milk... But yeah, largely a case of 'I see what I'm looking for.'


It was Gatorade, but that actually had a point.  They replace at athlete's sweat with Gatorade to point out the use of electrolytes in their beverage.  Gatorade is actually just really tasty sweat.  That was the entire point of it.

The kid dunking is a little jizzy.  The rest of it is fine.  I wouldn't have gone past an orgasm gif joke with it though.
 
2014-04-23 02:15:42 PM

sigdiamond2000: What kind of barbaric backwoods troglodyte drinks cow's milk in this day and age?


What other kind of milk should I drink?  Milk is delicious.  A 20oz styrofoam cup of really cold milk is the tits.
 
2014-04-23 02:16:33 PM

Pangea: rzrwiresunrise: RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]

Yeah, I like how she mentions she's against osteoarthritis, and yet looks like she hasn't lifted more than that bag of M&Ms or walked farther than the pantry she keeps it in.

Oh, and anyone got a match?

First her doctor fat-shamed her by saying she should get some exercise.

Now you're doing it.

Typical male.


Let's just say the kind of mouth-breathing I like out of my women doesn't come from climbing three steps.
 
2014-04-23 02:19:58 PM

ZMugg: unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)

What another may look like.(NSFW?)


Feline disrespect from behind!


img.fark.net
 
2014-04-23 02:26:57 PM

rzrwiresunrise: ZMugg: unyon: What a suggestive milk ad might look like (maybe almost NSFW)

What another may look like.(NSFW?)


Feline disrespect from behind!

[img.fark.net image 145x101]


My reaction, exactly.
 
2014-04-23 02:49:09 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-23 02:59:32 PM

rzrwiresunrise: RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 321x216]

[i.imgur.com image 734x588]

Yeah, I like how she mentions she's against osteoarthritis, and yet looks like she hasn't lifted more than that bag of M&Ms or walked farther than the pantry she keeps it in.

Oh, and anyone got a match?


Fun fact:
It's the skinny little stick-people that are more apt to osteoarthritis.
All that meat that the chubby folks are hauling actually strengthens the bones and helps keeps their density up.
Me doctor told me so when I asked about this.

That's not to say there isn't a happy medium in there somewhere however: both healthy weight AND strong bones...
 
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