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(USA Today)   According to a 'planetary defense group,' it is just a matter of time before a planet-killing asteroid hits us. EVERYBODY PANIC. Wait, planetary defense group? You mean... the Justice League?   (usatoday.com) divider line 49
    More: Scary, threats, Justice League, University of Western Ontario  
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2072 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2014 at 12:38 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-23 11:55:43 AM
No, dummy. JL couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a map. You call the Avengers to get shiat done.
 
2014-04-23 12:40:56 PM

gopher321: No, dummy. JL couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a map. You call the Avengers to get shiat done.


Exactly.  You call the JL when you need a bucket of water.
 
2014-04-23 12:41:43 PM
This problem is so easy to solve, you just build a giant wall around the planet.  Duh.
 
GBB
2014-04-23 12:42:54 PM
Captain Planet
 
2014-04-23 12:43:37 PM

gopher321: No, dummy. JL couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a map. You call the Avengers to get shiat done.


I'm calling Ben Affleck, Bruce Willis, Steve Buscemi, and Aerosmith
 
2014-04-23 12:44:29 PM
I reallly don't know why this is an unusual thought.  Our planet got smacked around a lot in the early years, and just the law of averages says eventually we are gonna get smacked again.

Unless of course, we have WW around with the golden lasso.  Then no worries at all.

img.fark.net
 
2014-04-23 12:44:33 PM
 
2014-04-23 12:48:36 PM
Alex! Alex! You're walking away from history! History, Alex! Did Chris Columbus stay home? Nooooo. What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Galoka think that the Ulus were too ugly to save?

----

Remember, Death Blossom delivers only one massive volley at close range... theoretically.
 
2014-04-23 12:49:02 PM
I thought Pat Robertson said Jesus was going to hurl one our way this week!

Hopefully it hits Yellowstone setting off the megavolcano! Disaster GOODNESS!
 
2014-04-23 12:49:20 PM
Well, I need some details here.  My schedule is pretty full, so get back to me with specifics or I'm going to plan on folding laundry.
 
2014-04-23 12:51:03 PM

codenamewizard: Alex! Alex! You're walking away from history! History, Alex! Did Chris Columbus stay home? Nooooo. What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Galoka think that the Ulus were too ugly to save?

----

Remember, Death Blossom delivers only one massive volley at close range... theoretically.


Thanks, now I have to watch that movie.
 
2014-04-23 12:51:58 PM
www.bookfever.com
 
2014-04-23 12:52:33 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: I reallly don't know why this is an unusual thought.  Our planet got smacked around a lot in the early years, and just the law of averages says eventually we are gonna get smacked again.

Unless of course, we have WW around with the golden lasso.  Then no worries at all.


It always looks like she is wearing a diaper.
 
2014-04-23 12:53:56 PM
Dear USA Today and other similar morons, embedding video that auto-starts and cannot be stopped may generate ad revenues, but it pisses the people the ads are aimed at off and causes them to just close the window. Some companies actually have policies prohibiting watching streaming video at the office. Fired people can't buy your sponsor's shiat.
 
2014-04-23 12:54:09 PM

gopher321: No, dummy. JL couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a map. You call the Avengers to get shiat done.


Since Marvel is absolutely destroying DC when it comes to live action, I would agree. Now if it were the animated Justice League from the 90s and early 2000s, I'd vote for them.

But now that rebooted Superman loses his powers when he can't breathe our air.. Aw screw it, call the Avengers.
 
2014-04-23 12:55:31 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-23 12:56:19 PM

gopher321: No, dummy. JL couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a map. You call the Avengers to get shiat done.


It's in times like these that I wish that were more than fantasy.  We could really use a group of super heros that could save the world.

We are living on a knife edge.  Any of the following could happen at any moment:

Yellowstone explodes
Asteroid strike
Enormous solar flare

These are the ones that could happen without warning, on a clear day, and litterally end existence as we know it.  In that respect, even the Avengers couldn't save the world.  How could they with no warning?
 
2014-04-23 12:58:21 PM
I'd call Kim Possible and Global Justice...but she has to keep goofy boyfriend at home
 
2014-04-23 12:58:59 PM
I would watch that as a movie.  Planetary Defense League starring Neil Degrasse Tyson as the brains, Bill Nye the Science Guy as the other brains, Richard Dawkins as the slutty one,  and uh...I dunno, Stephen Hawking as the team flying strong man who shoots lasers from his eyes.
 
2014-04-23 12:59:12 PM

Empty H: Satan's Bunny Slippers: I reallly don't know why this is an unusual thought.  Our planet got smacked around a lot in the early years, and just the law of averages says eventually we are gonna get smacked again.

Unless of course, we have WW around with the golden lasso.  Then no worries at all.

It always looks like she is wearing a diaper.


Yes. Sexy, sexy diapers. I'd camp in her Pampers.
 
2014-04-23 01:02:04 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-23 01:03:04 PM
It's also only a matter of time until the sun expands enough to completely consume the earth into a death spiral and burn us into nothing... on a long enough time scale all cumulative probabilities reach 1 or 0.

Some probabilities jump up there immediately, like P(Alessandra Ambrosio is hot | you find women attractive at all) = 1

That being said,the sooner we deploy lunar ring defense systems the happier I'll be, regardless of their practicality.

alienscientist.com
 
2014-04-23 01:03:52 PM

Circusdog320: I thought Pat Robertson said Jesus was going to hurl one our way this week!

Hopefully it hits Yellowstone setting off the megavolcano! Disaster GOODNESS!


Oooh!  SyFy movie!
 
2014-04-23 01:05:41 PM

durbnpoisn: gopher321: No, dummy. JL couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a map. You call the Avengers to get shiat done.

It's in times like these that I wish that were more than fantasy.  We could really use a group of super heros that could save the world.

We are living on a knife edge.  Any of the following could happen at any moment:

Yellowstone explodes
Asteroid strike
Enormous solar flare

These are the ones that could happen without warning, on a clear day, and litterally end existence as we know it.  In that respect, even the Avengers couldn't save the world.  How could they with no warning?


And there are some things that have already happened that could wipe us out.  A supernova could have happened about a hundred years ago and the X-rays from it, intense enough to wipe out all earthly life, just haven't gotten here yet.  In which case you'll need Superman or the Flash to go back in time and correct things.  Again, the JL are the go-to guys.
 
2014-04-23 01:06:43 PM

Empty H: Satan's Bunny Slippers: I reallly don't know why this is an unusual thought.  Our planet got smacked around a lot in the early years, and just the law of averages says eventually we are gonna get smacked again.

Unless of course, we have WW around with the golden lasso.  Then no worries at all.

It always looks like she is wearing a diaper.


That's because when that show was made, women weren't typically in pasties and leather when portrayed as superheros as they are now.  Things were covered, if you will.

Not judging then or now, just saying that's why.
 
2014-04-23 01:08:27 PM

durbnpoisn: gopher321: No, dummy. JL couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a map. You call the Avengers to get shiat done.

It's in times like these that I wish that were more than fantasy.  We could really use a group of super heros that could save the world.

We are living on a knife edge.  Any of the following could happen at any moment:

Yellowstone explodes
Asteroid strike
Enormous solar flare

These are the ones that could happen without warning, on a clear day, and litterally end existence as we know it.  In that respect, even the Avengers couldn't save the world.  How could they with no warning?


I always like how some people think you can actually do something to stop those. If any of those happen I will just hope to die quick.
 
2014-04-23 01:12:13 PM

BluVeinThrobber: [img.fark.net image 299x168]


itsaboutthemoney.net
 
2014-04-23 01:12:51 PM

groppet: If any of those happen I will just hope to die quick


Me too, except I'd like to die with just one look of the spectacular imminent BOOM coming at me. Cause we're gonna die, no matter what.  I'd just like to see it coming, then get snuffed out quickly if it happens while I'm still above ground.
 
2014-04-23 01:13:27 PM
www.nature.com
 
2014-04-23 01:15:25 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Empty H: Satan's Bunny Slippers: I reallly don't know why this is an unusual thought.  Our planet got smacked around a lot in the early years, and just the law of averages says eventually we are gonna get smacked again.

Unless of course, we have WW around with the golden lasso.  Then no worries at all.

It always looks like she is wearing a diaper.

That's because when that show was made, women weren't typically in pasties and leather when portrayed as superheros as they are now.  Things were covered, if you will.

Not judging then or now, just saying that's why.


Keep in mind that I am posting on Fark and thus probably don't have a good understanding of the female anatomy.
 
2014-04-23 01:18:00 PM

groppet: I always like how some people think you can actually do something to stop those. If any of those happen I will just hope to die quick.


getting out of the way works.
 
2014-04-23 01:19:03 PM

MBooda: durbnpoisn: gopher321: No, dummy. JL couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a map. You call the Avengers to get shiat done.

It's in times like these that I wish that were more than fantasy.  We could really use a group of super heros that could save the world.

We are living on a knife edge.  Any of the following could happen at any moment:

Yellowstone explodes
Asteroid strike
Enormous solar flare

These are the ones that could happen without warning, on a clear day, and litterally end existence as we know it.  In that respect, even the Avengers couldn't save the world.  How could they with no warning?

And there are some things that have already happened that could wipe us out.  A supernova could have happened about a hundred years ago and the X-rays from it, intense enough to wipe out all earthly life, just haven't gotten here yet.  In which case you'll need Superman or the Flash to go back in time and correct things.  Again, the JL are the go-to guys.


Actually.  I don't think supernovae are a concern.  Only certain types of stars explode like that.  And they need to be within about 500LY or so for the destructiveness to reach us.  And there is no candidate star that is that close.  If there was, and it exploded 500 years ago, we would have been wiped out already.
 
2014-04-23 01:19:04 PM

gopher321: No, dummy. JL couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a map. You call the Avengers to get shiat done.


www.blogcdn.com

"Come on guys, you never let me do anything! It's my time to shine for once!"
 
2014-04-23 01:31:10 PM

Empty H: Satan's Bunny Slippers: Empty H: Satan's Bunny Slippers: I reallly don't know why this is an unusual thought.  Our planet got smacked around a lot in the early years, and just the law of averages says eventually we are gonna get smacked again.

Unless of course, we have WW around with the golden lasso.  Then no worries at all.

It always looks like she is wearing a diaper.

That's because when that show was made, women weren't typically in pasties and leather when portrayed as superheros as they are now.  Things were covered, if you will.

Not judging then or now, just saying that's why.

Keep in mind that I am posting on Fark and thus probably don't have a good understanding of the female anatomy.



Truthiness?  On MY FARK?

:-)
 
2014-04-23 01:35:42 PM
Let's hope one of those asteroids hits Israel and wipes it off the map so NO ONE CAN HAVE IT!
 
2014-04-23 01:38:07 PM
Just have a bunch of oil rig workers on call, as well as a paranoid soldier with a hair trigger button for the nuclear weapon they'll put in the asteroid.
 
2014-04-23 01:41:22 PM
Combustion:

Yes. Sexy, sexy diapers. I'd camp in her Pampers.

I'd blow her where the Pampers is.
 
2014-04-23 01:58:55 PM
Ever notice how asteroids always hit Russia?
 
2014-04-23 01:59:39 PM

Circusdog320: [www.nature.com image 400x675]


I just read that last year.  Great book, holds up well too.
 
2014-04-23 02:15:45 PM

Circusdog320:


The first book and the first book of the follow on series were good but Clark really became a bitter old man and it showed in his writing. Probably worse in the Space Odyssey series.
 
2014-04-23 02:20:55 PM
So, what are we going to do about it?

i.imgur.com

/Obviously continue to depend on the Communists Russians for space travel.
 
2014-04-23 02:21:52 PM

elkraf: Ever notice how asteroids always hit Russia?


is it cos Russia sucks?
 
2014-04-23 03:07:15 PM
What a planetary defense group may look like...
ladygeekgirl.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-23 03:39:41 PM

kling_klang_bed: gopher321: No, dummy. JL couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a map. You call the Avengers to get shiat done.

[aquaman_powers.jpg]

"Come on guys, you never let me do anything! It's my time to shine for once!"


Damn Straight:

static.comicvine.com
 
2014-04-23 03:41:19 PM

Zenith: elkraf: Ever notice how asteroids always hit Russia?

is it cos Russia sucks?


Most hit the ocean...71% of the planet is covered by water.  A big ocean strike would be exceedingly bad...but we have a much higher chance of that!
 
2014-04-23 04:08:37 PM
Pfft if you need a team that's used to blowing up large space rocks....

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-23 06:08:44 PM

codenamewizard: Remember, Death Blossom delivers only one massive volley at close range... theoretically.


What do you mean, "theoretically"?

/never watched that movie, yet somehow knew that quote
 
2014-04-23 09:07:19 PM
They should have gone into climate science. Asteroids were only paying off in the 90's.
 
2014-04-24 04:59:19 AM

FatherChaos: gopher321: No, dummy. JL couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a map. You call the Avengers to get shiat done.

Exactly.  You call the JL when you need a bucket of water.


in the form of ice! c'mon.
 
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