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(Uproxx)   I think the internet is officially being catfished by raunchy sorority girl emails   (uproxx.com) divider line 14
    More: Strange, punt  
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8469 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2014 at 8:33 AM (13 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-04-23 12:10:27 PM
2 votes:

Jack's Smirking Revenge: Theaetetus: CruJones: Colin O'Scopy: If you are one of those "classy" ladies who don't swallow. Go crawl into a hole with Ellen DeGeneres and learn to eat p*ssy, because that is what you are. Spitting is for quitters, you swallow that sweet 'n' salty mix like the real woman you are. Your man for the night will forever tell his bro's about you dick sucking abilities. Oh, if you haven't noticed by now, I love sucking dick. I crowned myself the dick sucking queen and no one is ever taking that title from me, so back the fark off.

HAHAHA! Previously she said she can't suck dick for more than 7 minutes. She's so noob it's hilarious.

My GF's record is 70 minutes.

Your GF sounds awful at blowjobs

He didn't specify that they were all on the same guy.

True.  It could have been the cumulative amount of time she spent on 37 guys.


dvdmedia.ign.com
"In a row?!"
2014-04-23 12:01:19 PM
2 votes:

Theaetetus: CruJones: Colin O'Scopy: If you are one of those "classy" ladies who don't swallow. Go crawl into a hole with Ellen DeGeneres and learn to eat p*ssy, because that is what you are. Spitting is for quitters, you swallow that sweet 'n' salty mix like the real woman you are. Your man for the night will forever tell his bro's about you dick sucking abilities. Oh, if you haven't noticed by now, I love sucking dick. I crowned myself the dick sucking queen and no one is ever taking that title from me, so back the fark off.

HAHAHA! Previously she said she can't suck dick for more than 7 minutes. She's so noob it's hilarious.

My GF's record is 70 minutes.

Your GF sounds awful at blowjobs

He didn't specify that they were all on the same guy.


True.  It could have been the cumulative amount of time she spent on 37 guys.
2014-04-23 09:23:00 AM
2 votes:

kyleaugustus: A 'sloot'?  I think she meant 'sloop', matey.



"I christen thee, the Flying Wasp"

www.carlspackler.com
2014-04-23 02:34:18 PM
1 votes:

ZeroGDarius: Thelyphthoric: Has anyone considered that the email is a viral marketing campaign for Sorority Throat Banggerzz XIX?

Do go on


Sorry, but ever since STB XV they've just been phoning it in.  You can see it in their eyes, even when "it" is in their eyes.
2014-04-23 11:10:49 AM
1 votes:

CruJones: Colin O'Scopy: If you are one of those "classy" ladies who don't swallow. Go crawl into a hole with Ellen DeGeneres and learn to eat p*ssy, because that is what you are. Spitting is for quitters, you swallow that sweet 'n' salty mix like the real woman you are. Your man for the night will forever tell his bro's about you dick sucking abilities. Oh, if you haven't noticed by now, I love sucking dick. I crowned myself the dick sucking queen and no one is ever taking that title from me, so back the fark off.

HAHAHA! Previously she said she can't suck dick for more than 7 minutes. She's so noob it's hilarious.

My GF's record is 70 minutes.

Your GF sounds awful at blowjobs


He didn't specify that they were all on the same guy.
2014-04-23 10:10:20 AM
1 votes:

steveGswine: SuperChuck: you are a puppet: [...]  cannibal breasts [...]

WTF?

Think National Geographic magazine covers.


That makes a lot more sense than what I was thinking. But less fun

/can't sleep, breasts will eat me
2014-04-23 09:57:01 AM
1 votes:

SuperChuck: you are a puppet: [...]  cannibal breasts [...]

WTF?


Think National Geographic magazine covers.
2014-04-23 09:37:28 AM
1 votes:

CruJones: Colin O'Scopy: If you are one of those "classy" ladies who don't swallow. Go crawl into a hole with Ellen DeGeneres and learn to eat p*ssy, because that is what you are. Spitting is for quitters, you swallow that sweet 'n' salty mix like the real woman you are. Your man for the night will forever tell his bro's about you dick sucking abilities. Oh, if you haven't noticed by now, I love sucking dick. I crowned myself the dick sucking queen and no one is ever taking that title from me, so back the fark off.

HAHAHA! Previously she said she can't suck dick for more than 7 minutes. She's so noob it's hilarious.

My GF's record is 70 minutes.

Your GF sounds awful at blowjobs


Really. The writer's point is that if he can stand it for more than 7 minutes without firing his bolt, you aren't doing it right. And who the fark wants a 70 minute beej? If it takes that long, either the sucker is awful at the game or the mouth is the wrong gender, if you get my meaning.
2014-04-23 09:18:47 AM
1 votes:

LeroyB: My friend's daughter will be going off to college this fall and I've known her since she was a bump on her mamma's belly.

No, I will NOT be forwarding this link to my friend.


Of course you don't forward that to your friend.. You show the daughter.. And suggest she can use you for practice.
2014-04-23 09:01:35 AM
1 votes:

you are a puppet: Dear Sorority Sloot Forum,

I know this is going to sound like a crazy fantasy but every word of this story is true. A few weeks ago my girlfriend happened to mention to me how attractive she thought our new neighbor Linda was. Well of course I noticed it too with those cannibal breasts and pouty lips. I don't have to tell you she was a knockout...


....go on.
2014-04-23 08:58:27 AM
1 votes:
If you are one of those "classy" ladies who don't swallow. Go crawl into a hole with Ellen DeGeneres and learn to eat p*ssy, because that is what you are. Spitting is for quitters, you swallow that sweet 'n' salty mix like the real woman you are. Your man for the night will forever tell his bro's about you dick sucking abilities. Oh, if you haven't noticed by now, I love sucking dick. I crowned myself the dick sucking queen and no one is ever taking that title from me, so back the fark off.

HAHAHA! Previously she said she can't suck dick for more than 7 minutes. She's so noob it's hilarious.

My GF's record is 70 minutes.
2014-04-23 08:51:16 AM
1 votes:
Dear Sorority Sloot Forum,

I know this is going to sound like a crazy fantasy but every word of this story is true. A few weeks ago my girlfriend happened to mention to me how attractive she thought our new neighbor Linda was. Well of course I noticed it too with those cannibal breasts and pouty lips. I don't have to tell you she was a knockout...
2014-04-23 08:38:17 AM
1 votes:
A 'sloot'?  I think she meant 'sloop', matey.
2014-04-23 08:28:32 AM
1 votes:
No way, subby, these are totally real. And you know I'm right because I said "totally." If I'd just said "real," they might not be completely real. But totally real is real plus real, which is what you need to be totally real.
 
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