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(Chattanooga Times Free Press)   Police: Man 'armed' with potato attempts robbery in Rhode Island. I can defend myself against fresh fruit but a potato is a whole nother story   (timesfreepress.com ) divider line
    More: Silly, Rhode Island, robbery, WPRI, fruits  
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1338 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2014 at 10:36 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-04-22 08:24:10 PM  
Fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh??
 
2014-04-22 08:34:18 PM  
WHAT ABOUT A POINTED STICK?!
 
2014-04-22 08:40:43 PM  
img3.wikia.nocookie.net

Oblig
 
2014-04-22 08:48:51 PM  

PainInTheASP: WHAT ABOUT A POINTED STICK?!


See my above post.  And  let me tell you something my lad! When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after YOU with a bunch of loganberries, don't come cryin' to me!
 
2014-04-22 08:54:22 PM  
They say officers later went to a laundromat where an employee told them a man fitting the description came in carrying a potato and yelled: "I need the money."

I hope he fries.
 
2014-04-22 08:58:19 PM  
i1.ytimg.com
"I rubbed that damn potato all over Leeza's car and it didn't even make a scratch.
At least they didn't catch me putting my keys in her exhaust pipe."
 
2014-04-22 09:06:15 PM  
It's good they caught him now, before he became a masher.
 
2014-04-22 09:29:18 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: It's good they caught him now, before he became a masher.


And I bet they impounded his ricer.

I feel safer already.

/yukon
 
2014-04-22 09:43:42 PM  
RELEASE THE TIGER!
 
2014-04-22 09:47:15 PM  
They are going to boil him.  Or perhaps mash him.  Maybe stick him in a stew.
 
2014-04-22 09:50:11 PM  
He'll be missed on the Politics tab.
 
2014-04-22 10:39:02 PM  
"Nother" ???
 
2014-04-22 10:43:49 PM  
Depends on the potato.

technabob.com
 
2014-04-22 10:43:59 PM  
img4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-04-22 10:46:06 PM  
Never bring a potato to a gun fight !
 
2014-04-22 10:46:28 PM  
and mangoes in syrup
 
2014-04-22 10:47:32 PM  
POTATOES!

ah, makes me laugh every time
 
2014-04-22 10:48:10 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Depends on the potato.

[technabob.com image 600x419]


*clap... clap... clap* Oh good, my slow clap processor made it into this thing, so we have that.
 
2014-04-22 10:50:24 PM  
But could you defend yourself against killer tomatoes?

elojodiverso.files.wordpress.com

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2014-04-22 10:51:21 PM  
Great, now they're not gonna allow fries in school lunches.
 
2014-04-22 10:51:33 PM  

serial_crusher: "I rubbed that damn potato all over Leeza's car and it didn't even make a scratch.
At least they didn't catch me putting my keys in her exhaust pipe."


I saw this episode a couple nights back, actually.
 
2014-04-22 10:51:42 PM  

Edmund: Hello, Sir Douglas.
Haig: Who is this?
Edmund: Captain Blackadder, sir, erstwhile of the 1945th East African rifles.
Haig: Good lord! Blacky! (knocks down an entire line of model soldiers)
Edmund: Yes, sir.
Haig: I haven't seen you since... (knocks down the second line of model soldiers on the same side)
Edmund: '92, sir -- Mboto Gorge.
Haig: By jingo, yes. We sure gave those pygmies a good squashing.
Edmund: We certainly did, sir. And do you remember...?
Haig: My god, yes. You saved my damn life that day, Blacky. If it weren't for you, that pygmy woman with the sharpened mango could have seriously...
Edmund: Well, exactly, sir. And do you remember then that you said that if I was ever in real trouble and I really needed a favour that I was to call you and you'd do everything you could to help me?
Haig: (sweeps the fallen soldier models into a dustpan) Yes, yes, I do, and I stick by it. You know me -- not a man to change my mind.
Edmund: No -- we've noticed that.
Haig: So what do you want? Spit it out, man. (hurls the dead platoon over his shoulder)
Edmund: Well, you see, sir, it's the Big Push today, and I'm not all that keen to go over the top.
Haig: (sits) Oh, I see. Well...
Edmund: It was a viciously sharp slice of mango, wasn't it, sir...


i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-04-22 10:53:00 PM  
.. the terrorists have won .. fries are now swords of terror
 
2014-04-22 10:55:05 PM  
Totally feel I should add something to this thread....
 
2014-04-22 10:56:14 PM  
i65.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-22 10:56:27 PM  

syrynxx: They are going to boil him.  Or perhaps mash him.  Maybe stick him in a stew.


I heard he tried to sneak away by driving to California, but was caught by CHiPS
 
2014-04-22 10:56:33 PM  
Police: Man 'armed' with potato attempts robbery in Rhode Island.

I can fight to potato.
 
2014-04-22 10:57:02 PM  

vbob: .. the terrorists have won .. fries are now swords of terror


They are weapons of mashed destruction.
 
2014-04-22 11:09:21 PM  
That wouldn't work in Idaho. Damn near everybody has a concealed carry potato on them at all times here.
 
2014-04-22 11:09:51 PM  
You just pull the lever and drop a 16 ton weight on him.
 
2014-04-22 11:23:51 PM  
I think we can all agree that the only way to stop a bad man armed with a potato is to have a good man armed with a knife and a deep frier.
 
2014-04-22 11:38:12 PM  

Gunny Highway: They say officers later went to a laundromat where an employee told them a man fitting the description came in carrying a potato and yelled: "I need the money."

I hope he fries.


Might as well face it....
 
2014-04-22 11:39:19 PM  

misterfweem: That wouldn't work in Idaho. Damn near everybody has a concealed carry potato on them at all times here.


The only thing that stops a bad guy with a potato is a good guy with a potato.


/Or some ketchup...mmmmm...
 
2014-04-22 11:54:37 PM  
OK, smart guys, but what if it had been a SWEET potato, huh?
 
2014-04-22 11:55:02 PM  

PainInTheASP: WHAT ABOUT A POINTED STICK?!


Shut up!
 
2014-04-23 12:07:06 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

House and 13 are not impressed.
 
2014-04-23 12:10:06 AM  
A spud in the hand is worth $20 in the other hand.
 
2014-04-23 12:19:14 AM  

Gyrfalcon: OK, smart guys, but what if it had been a SWEET potato, huh?


thelaughingstork.com
 
2014-04-23 12:19:51 AM  
A fresh fruit can usually be dealt with with a mild slap to the face. Should he persist, a good dressing-down will do the trick.

Potatoes, otoh,
 
2014-04-23 12:39:37 AM  

kling_klang_bed: But could you defend yourself against killer tomatoes?

[elojodiverso.files.wordpress.com image 488x366]

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 259x194]


That depends.  Do I have a lawn-chair, six milk bottles, and a tuning fork?
 
2014-04-23 12:40:39 AM  

serial_crusher: [i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]
"I rubbed that damn potato all over Leeza's car and it didn't even make a scratch.
At least they didn't catch me putting my keys in her exhaust pipe."


I'd put my keys her in exhaust pipe, if you know what I mean.
 
2014-04-23 12:57:55 AM  
Make wuv, not war

boston.todaysmama.com
 
2014-04-23 01:46:49 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-23 02:03:40 AM  
What if he's got a bunch?
 
2014-04-23 02:15:08 AM  

PainInTheASP: WHAT ABOUT A POINTED STICK?!


A guy here in Las Vegas was killed with a pointed stick last week.  First thing I thought of when I heard it.  Homeless guy got all stabby.
 
2014-04-23 02:35:41 AM  

ciberido: serial_crusher: [i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]
"I rubbed that damn potato all over Leeza's car and it didn't even make a scratch.
At least they didn't catch me putting my keys in her exhaust pipe."

I'd put my keys her in exhaust pipe, if you know what I mean.


I assume "have sex", but that's meeting you more than halfway.
 
2014-04-23 02:39:10 AM  
Worship the potato? The idea seemed silly to me. But then I thought, what else is more deserving of worship? It's simple, it comes from the earth, and it can kill you if you disobey it. - Jack handey
 
2014-04-23 03:22:47 AM  
i.imgur.com
You could take an eye out with that!
 
2014-04-23 03:24:05 AM  
This is why everyone should carry a concealed potato peeler with them at all times.
 
2014-04-23 03:25:30 AM  

kling_klang_bed: But could you defend yourself against killer tomatoes?

[elojodiverso.files.wordpress.com image 488x366]

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 259x194]


He's just a spud boy, looking for a real tomato,

/obscure?
 
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