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(News 13 Orlando)   Student's buzzkill grandma gets school to stop giving kids Mountain Dew before tests   (mynews13.com) divider line 48
    More: Florida, Dr. W.J. Creel Elemtary School, elementary schools, grandmother  
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2907 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2014 at 7:34 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-22 06:09:09 PM  
Thanks a lot grandma! Have fun spending Christmas alone.
 
2014-04-22 07:18:14 PM  
Last time I took the LSAT, Venom was on campus handing out free energy drinks. It helped when I had to get up at 5:30 to catch the train to get there.

/156
 
2014-04-22 07:36:58 PM  
Mountain Dew is gross.
 
2014-04-22 07:37:44 PM  
"Statistics show Creel Elementary is an A+ school and has received some of the highest FCAT scores in the county over the last few years."

Clearly it wasn't helping...
 
2014-04-22 07:39:46 PM  
Is Mt Dew the new "Coke"?
 
2014-04-22 07:43:45 PM  

Monty845: "Statistics show Creel Elementary is an A+ school and has received some of the highest FCAT scores in the county over the last few years."

Clearly it wasn't helping...


Being that this is Florida, I'm guessing the educational bar isn't all that high.
 
2014-04-22 07:45:16 PM  
I knew a guy that drank 12 diet Mountain Dews a day.

12

He's still alive too. Waiting for his skin to start glowing.
 
2014-04-22 07:47:11 PM  

ArkAngel: Last time I took the LSAT, Venom was on campus handing out free energy drinks. It helped when I had to get up at 5:30 to catch the train to get there.

/156


I don't even know what "venom" is but the last time I took a standardized test I got stoned in my car on the way to it.

It's okay, I was an adult and I did quite well as a matter of fact.

That said, I don't think schools should be pushing shiat like Mt. Dew on children.  I don't care about the stupid excuse of no one being forced to drink it.  I wonder how that would work if it had been pot.  Hey, we didn't make any kids smoke marijuana, we just gave them access to bongs and buds.
 
2014-04-22 07:55:27 PM  
3 tablespoons??? Won't someone think of the children?
 
2014-04-22 07:56:48 PM  
When I took the GRE in 2009, I walked into the testing center after having consumed a delightful breakfast of beignets and two triple espressos. I knew my handwriting was jittery, which is why I am quite happy I had the computer-based version of the test.

Made 1300 on the math and comprehension parts and a 3.9 on the writing portion. My professors were impressed.
 
2014-04-22 08:03:14 PM  
This is stupid. When I was in 4th grade, I would ride my bike to the nearest grocery store and grab a soda out of the vending machine. I'd chug it, burp and then go back to being a kid. This old fart is raising a stink over 3 tablespoons of a choice they were given. Come on! grandma, come on!i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-04-22 08:04:21 PM  

Needlessly Complicated: Mountain Dew is gross.


This.

Some weird, piss looking... Taste... Lemon crap

Rockstars on the other hand are my crack
 
2014-04-22 08:04:24 PM  

Needlessly Complicated: Mountain Dew is gross.


Tried it with scotch yet?
 
2014-04-22 08:07:01 PM  

Systemelectric: I knew a guy that drank 12 diet Mountain Dews a day.

12

He's still alive too. Waiting for his skin to start glowing.


Amateur.
 
2014-04-22 08:09:26 PM  
Well, there go the test scores that drive the rankings two threads down.
 
2014-04-22 08:09:26 PM  

VivianVivisect: Needlessly Complicated: Mountain Dew is gross.

This.

Some weird, piss looking... Taste... Lemon crap

Rockstars on the other hand are my crack


I can drink it one way and one way only. Buy 2 liter on Mt. Poo, Dump out 1/3 of Mt. Poo, add 2 packets of Grape Kool-aid mix, add a fifth of Vodka, shake it up, put in fridge and enjoy once it is cold.
 
2014-04-22 08:10:42 PM  
Am I alone in that those 5-hour energy things have zero effect on me?
 
2014-04-22 08:11:49 PM  

VivianVivisect: Needlessly Complicated: Mountain Dew is gross.

This.
Some weird, piss looking... Taste... Lemon crap
Rockstars on the other hand are my crack


You don't have much  any   room there to criticize other people's drink preferences.
/*takes sip of coffee*
 
2014-04-22 08:13:24 PM  

Walker: Thanks a lot grandma! Have fun spending Christmas alone.


And enjoy the lowest-scoring nursing home in the state.

Sorry, I NEED my sugary, fizzy, caffeine-loaded drink if I'm trying to take a test stupidly early in the morning.  Not want, NEED.
 
2014-04-22 08:13:36 PM  

thismomentinblackhistory: Am I alone in that those 5-hour energy things have zero effect on me?


They have no effect on me - seeing as how I've never been stupid enough to use them.

Have some coffee and a good hearty breakfast with lots of protein and carbs instead.

Eggs,, bacon, toast, etc...
 
2014-04-22 08:25:58 PM  

92myrtle: Needlessly Complicated: Mountain Dew is gross.

Yeah, this.  If my little precious is going to get the diabeetus from high fructose corn syrup, I'd be less disappointed in him if he'd wasted his vending machine quarters on something that tastes sorta good and not-like-antifreeze.


Mountain Dew Throwback is pretty good....and has no HFCS....

/ I sound fat
 
2014-04-22 08:30:19 PM  

gfid: ArkAngel: Last time I took the LSAT, Venom was on campus handing out free energy drinks. It helped when I had to get up at 5:30 to catch the train to get there.

/156

I don't even know what "venom" is but the last time I took a standardized test I got stoned in my car on the way to it.

It's okay, I was an adult and I did quite well as a matter of fact.

That said, I don't think schools should be pushing shiat like Mt. Dew on children.  I don't care about the stupid excuse of no one being forced to drink it.  I wonder how that would work if it had been pot.  Hey, we didn't make any kids smoke marijuana, we just gave them access to bongs and buds.


One of the best teachers I ever had possessed a "candy chest" basically a footlocker full of candy and one lone coke. Each week you got to go in order of who spent the most time reading that week (per parental notes). It totally worked, everyone wanted the coke and it's one of the reasons I'm still a huge reader, as many other classmates. If a Mountain Dew every now and then makes kids not scared and helps them take a test more comfortably so be it. They'll live.

/snowflakes
 
2014-04-22 08:34:04 PM  

thismomentinblackhistory: Am I alone in that those 5-hour energy things have zero effect on me?


I don't know. Why in the hell would any sane person drink one of those?
 
2014-04-22 08:40:51 PM  

Systemelectric: I knew a guy that drank 12 diet Mountain Dews a day.

12

He's still alive too. Waiting for his skin to start glowing.


"Mountain Dew" is not a unit of measure.  Was it the 7.5oz cans or 3 liter bottles or something between?
 
2014-04-22 08:43:51 PM  

Forbidden Doughnut: 92myrtle: Needlessly Complicated: Mountain Dew is gross.

Yeah, this.  If my little precious is going to get the diabeetus from high fructose corn syrup, I'd be less disappointed in him if he'd wasted his vending machine quarters on something that tastes sorta good and not-like-antifreeze.

Mountain Dew Throwback is pretty good....and has no HFCS....

/ I sound fat


I keep forgetting to get some of that, in the glass bottles.
 
2014-04-22 08:44:48 PM  
I'd side with the Grandma on this one. The choice of Mountain Dew seemed was made for the pharmacological properties of the caffeine. 5-year-olds are allowed to vape e-cigs in many states (though restrictive laws are being added), and I wouldn't want schools pushing those either. (This was a K-6th school, the girl in the article was age 10). Promoting drugs to students for tests is just not cool. Offering caffeinated beverages as a choice alongside non-caffeinated drinks, which is reasonably common in high schools, is based on the input of the community and school system.
 
2014-04-22 08:49:06 PM  

Systemelectric: I knew a guy that drank 12 diet Mountain Dews a day.

12

He's still alive too. Waiting for his skin to start glowing.


When i interned at a mental hospital, i would sit in on initial appts with the patients.

The best shrink there would zero in on bipolar clients and ask them how much caffeine they consumed daily.

Invariably it would be two liters of soda or more.
 
2014-04-22 08:50:46 PM  

Forbidden Doughnut: 92myrtle: Needlessly Complicated: Mountain Dew is gross.

Yeah, this.  If my little precious is going to get the diabeetus from high fructose corn syrup, I'd be less disappointed in him if he'd wasted his vending machine quarters on something that tastes sorta good and not-like-antifreeze.

Mountain Dew Throwback is pretty good....and has no HFCS....

/ I sound fat


Anything throw back makes you sound fat
 
2014-04-22 08:53:30 PM  
4th Grade.

Well, to paraphrase Cookie Monster, soda - especially soda with caffeine - is a "sometimes food," especially for 10-year-olds.

I think of it more of a treat than as test-taking aid (at least for kids). Not sure I want kids feeling like they need to take drugs to do well in school.
 
2014-04-22 09:02:55 PM  
Used to drink the hell out of mountain dew. Switched to throwback to get a real taste of sugar but when I started reading up on BVO dropped it like a bad habit. Switched to the throwback dr. pepper (not much better I know) and those five hour energy drinks have never worked for me even when chasing it with a monster or NOS. The one time I actually took some energy drink stuff that worked, a coworker gave me a packet of some powder mix can't remember the name of it but he had gotten it online and had a dozen packets he gave one to me and I missed it up. He came back from break and seen the empty packet and got a horrified look on his face forms out one three Oz. packet was good for three 16 ounce bottles of water. I had put the whole packet in one empty 20 ounce Dr. Pepper bottle. Needless to say my hair felt funny for the next 8 hours and my supervisor pulled me to the side telling me that I was talking like a chipmunk on speed on my phone calls.
 
2014-04-22 09:09:18 PM  
I don't see the outrage. We live in a society that is practically dependent on the pharmaceutical industry, but offering caffeine to kids before they take a test is suddenly taboo. What, did they run out of ritalin?
 
2014-04-22 09:18:44 PM  
Speaking as a former MENSA nerd herd kid, this has been our equivalent of "doping" for generations.

Growing up in a shiatkicker state, we took the ACT instead of the SAT for college placement, and it was generally given around 8-ish one county over from the podunk I grew up in.  My ritual for it was. as follows, and please understand, this is with absolutely zero hyperbole.

Wake up
Chug a Coke
Shower/Get dressed
Chug another Coke
Stop off at McDonalds for breakfast on the way
Chug a Super-Sized Coke with breakfast
Arrive at the testing center
Chug another Coke
Start test
Slam another Coke during half-way break
(Optional) Go to bathroom and piss fire.
Return to testing room, finish test.
Return Home
Crash and sleep for at least twelve hours
Take two days to physically recover

Call it stupid-borderline suicidal to introduce that much sugar and caffeine into your system in such a short spawn of time, but when I was younger, and foolish, it genuinely felt like it helped me focus.  The feelings of physcial and mental exhaustion for a couple of days after the fact felt like a fair price to pay for improved scores and higher chances of getting into the school I wanted to.

Students have sugar/caffeine/carb loaded before tests for  decades, if not centuries.   Granted, kids as young as 10 doing it isn't remotely healthy, but we're living in a day and age where all the system cares about are test scores  they can send off to the state/federal level so they can get more money
 
2014-04-22 09:20:42 PM  
My college finals ritual: an hour before the test, eat one banana and drink one frappuccino.  For a three hour exam, the banana was enough snack to keep me from getting hungry, and the caffeine was enough to keep me alert.  Post test: drive home, have dinner and some whiskey to decompress, then sleep for ten hours (if possible).
 
2014-04-22 09:25:41 PM  
They can always drink Bob Marley's Mellow Mood.

www.sakura-hostel.co.jp
 
2014-04-22 09:27:06 PM  
As long as there are still Cheetos and I can cast one of these first-level spells.
 
2014-04-22 09:39:48 PM  
In college I had an instructor who gave everyone who wanted a few pieces of candy before tests. She said the elevated blood sugar helped feed the brain while it was working. The way I see it is if the kid is being tested all day, they probably could use a bit of a boost to help them fight off lethargy.
 
2014-04-22 09:58:18 PM  

o'really: Systemelectric: I knew a guy that drank 12 diet Mountain Dews a day.

12

He's still alive too. Waiting for his skin to start glowing.

When i interned at a mental hospital, i would sit in on initial appts with the patients.

The best shrink there would zero in on bipolar clients and ask them how much caffeine they consumed daily.

Invariably it would be two liters of soda or more.


Selective bias. Ask most people that and the result would be the same. Unless they drink lots of tea or coffee. Caffeine consumption could be "correlated" to any disorder using a similar methodology.
 
2014-04-22 10:12:22 PM  

Systemelectric: I knew a guy that drank 12 diet Mountain Dews a day.

12

He's still alive too. Waiting for his skin to start glowing.


you're waiting or he is?
 
2014-04-22 10:54:03 PM  

T Baggins: I'd side with the Grandma on this one. The choice of Mountain Dew seemed was made for the pharmacological properties of the caffeine. 5-year-olds are allowed to vape e-cigs in many states (though restrictive laws are being added), and I wouldn't want schools pushing those either. (This was a K-6th school, the girl in the article was age 10). Promoting drugs to students for tests is just not cool. Offering caffeinated beverages as a choice alongside non-caffeinated drinks, which is reasonably common in high schools, is based on the input of the community and school system.


What the fark states are those? Every state I've ever heard of, nicotine--regardless of form--is an age-restricted purchase requiring ID. Stop shilling for the tobacco companies and/or the makers or the patch and nicorette and go RTFA before you post next time ("...no students were forced to drink the [three tablespoons of] soda..."), Governor Fallin.
 
2014-04-22 11:19:57 PM  

ArkAngel: Last time I took the LSAT, Venom was on campus handing out free energy drinks. It helped when I had to get up at 5:30 to catch the train to get there.

/156


This Venom?

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-22 11:31:21 PM  
FTA: Thorp said she had to wait until Monday to contact Brevard Public Schools.

ragecomics.com for the weekend.
 
2014-04-22 11:43:43 PM  

Aigoo: What the fark states are those? Every state I've ever heard of, nicotine--regardless of form--is an age-restricted purchase requiring ID. Stop shilling for the tobacco companies and/or the makers or the patch and nicorette and go RTFA before you post next time ("...no students were forced to drink the [three tablespoons of] soda..."), Governor Fallin.


Florida, the one this school is in, among others. Just google it; articles about proposed e-cig bans for minors are published everyday. Here's one from today: http://www.wptv.com/web/wptv/news/health/e-cigarette-liquid-nicotine- p resents-poisoning-danger-for-kids "Meantime, Florida's legislature is considering making it illegal for anyone under 18 to buy e-cigarettes." I doubt they're making cotton candy- or bubblegum-flavored nicotine for the adult market.
 
2014-04-23 12:11:04 AM  

o'really: The best shrink there would zero in on bipolar clients and ask them how much caffeine they consumed daily.


What makes you think he was the "best shrink"?

Lots of people consume caffeine.  Lots of people with mental health issues don't consume any.
 
2014-04-23 12:12:55 AM  
The real problem is that they didn't cut it with a bit of vodka. Brains love them a small bit of booze.
 
2014-04-23 02:56:02 AM  

quizzical: My college finals ritual: an hour before the test, eat one banana and drink one frappuccino.  For a three hour exam, the banana was enough snack to keep me from getting hungry, and the caffeine was enough to keep me alert.  Post test: drive home, have dinner and some whiskey to decompress, then sleep for ten hours (if possible).


My college finals ritual featured two options (and I'd advise neither now):

1. If the final exam was a paper or written assignment due either in the professor's inbox or office by scheduled time, I would put on a pot of extra-strong coffee in my dorm room at 6pm the night before it was due, sit down, and write the whole thing, including edits, refilling the eight-cup pot as necessary.

2. If the exam was actually an exam, I'd study normally for a week, then on finals week I'd be up for three days at a time fueled by espresso and energy drinks. Mercifully, exams then were broken up into two blocks with at least a free day or, more typically, a weekend to relax. Sure, I could pee nuclear waste, but it worked for me at the time.

I despise 8am exams. And classes before 10am. And despite exposing myself to enough caffeine and sugar and chemicals to make Keith Richards blush, but I made pretty good grades--As and Bs--in classes I cared about.
 
2014-04-23 05:13:00 AM  

T Baggins: I'd side with the Grandma on this one. The choice of Mountain Dew seemed was made for the pharmacological properties of the caffeine. 5-year-olds are allowed to vape e-cigs in many states (though restrictive laws are being added), and I wouldn't want schools pushing those either. (This was a K-6th school, the girl in the article was age 10). Promoting drugs to students for tests is just not cool. Offering caffeinated beverages as a choice alongside non-caffeinated drinks, which is reasonably common in high schools, is based on the input of the community and school system.



3 table spoons along with some trail mix is hardly "promoting drugs".
 
2014-04-23 02:32:58 PM  
ewwww....give me the crab juice
 
2014-04-23 06:13:01 PM  
YOU DO NOT MESS WITH THE DEW.  DEW IS A GIFT FROM THE ALMIGHTY TO SHOW US ALL HOW MUCH HE/SHE LOVES US.  DIAF, GRANDMA.  WHILE I DRINK ANOTHER DEW AS YOUR CORPSE BURNS.
 
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