Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post UK)   Parents chicken out on naming their baby what would be the greatest name ever   (huffingtonpost.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Amusing, internet, Cthulu  
•       •       •

24472 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2014 at 9:51 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



129 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-04-22 09:07:41 AM  
"Cthulhu" - the tentacle-faced monster of South Park and science-fiction fame.

The author of this article will be eaten last.
 
2014-04-22 09:38:57 AM  
Amelia Savannah Joy McLaughlin.

Ugh. That's too normal. How will your little snowflake express herself if her name is so bland?
 
2014-04-22 09:57:40 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: Amelia Savannah Joy McLaughlin.

Ugh. That's too normal. How will your little snowflake express herself if her name is so bland?


She will insist everyone use the full name all the time. And anything initialed will be ASJMcL.
 
2014-04-22 09:57:43 AM  
How about Eternally Juvenile-DARY
 
2014-04-22 09:59:03 AM  
Well duh. Cthulhu is a boy's name. They really should have kept All-Spark though.
 
2014-04-22 09:59:28 AM  

brimed03: Tr0mBoNe: Amelia Savannah Joy McLaughlin.

Ugh. That's too normal. How will your little snowflake express herself if her name is so bland?

She will insist everyone use the full name all the time. And anything initialed will be ASJMcL.


I figured with two middle names it could be initialed as "A2M" - that sorta rolls nicely off the tongue.
 
2014-04-22 09:59:48 AM  
Anyone that thought they would actually follow through is an idiot.
 
2014-04-22 10:01:07 AM  

The Pope of Manwich Village: brimed03: Tr0mBoNe: Amelia Savannah Joy McLaughlin.

Ugh. That's too normal. How will your little snowflake express herself if her name is so bland?

She will insist everyone use the full name all the time. And anything initialed will be ASJMcL.

I figured with two middle names it could be initialed as "A2M" - that sorta rolls nicely off the tongue.


Win.
 
2014-04-22 10:03:00 AM  
As a baby name, it's funny.

As an older child's name?   You're just asking for trouble.

Same goes with naming your child anything that famous people do.  Apple, Banana, Sparkle Star or whatever will just come back to haunt them.
 
2014-04-22 10:03:55 AM  
Our dog's middle name is Megatron.
 
2014-04-22 10:06:35 AM  
Not Stormageddon?
 
2014-04-22 10:08:13 AM  

brimed03: Tr0mBoNe: Amelia Savannah Joy McLaughlin.

Ugh. That's too normal. How will your little snowflake express herself if her name is so bland?

She will insist everyone use the full name all the time. And anything initialed will be ASJMcL.


I don't know...

Just use the two middle names and she's ready for a career swinging from a pile.
 
2014-04-22 10:08:50 AM  
All-Spark? Sounds too Secret MuslinTM to me. How about Allsorts?
 
2014-04-22 10:09:10 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: Amelia Savannah Joy McLaughlin.

Ugh. That's too normal. How will your little snowflake express herself if her name is so bland?


Oh, you know. Drug use, sexual experimentation, teen pregnancy, the usual.
 
2014-04-22 10:09:43 AM  
I would have gone with Hastur. It would make Kindergarten roll call much more entertaining.
 
2014-04-22 10:10:06 AM  
Ben Downsolongitlookslikeuptome.
 
2014-04-22 10:10:27 AM  

brimed03: Tr0mBoNe: Amelia Savannah Joy McLaughlin.

Ugh. That's too normal. How will your little snowflake express herself if her name is so bland?

She will insist everyone use the full name all the time. And anything initialed will be ASJMcL.


and will be pronounced 'assjam'.

Possibly.
 
2014-04-22 10:10:53 AM  
Oh good, I needed another reason to not visit reddit.
 
2014-04-22 10:11:26 AM  
Seven.
 
2014-04-22 10:12:00 AM  
HuffPo: go ahead, we dare you to run our site on your phone. See how well that works out for you.

/Browser crash every damn time
//Samsung Galaxy S2
 
2014-04-22 10:12:20 AM  
I know it's an oft-repeated thing, but when naming your child, you must take several things into account.  One, is it easily spelled and/or pronounced?  If an HR person can't spell it or say it, they're chucking your kid's resume into the trash.  Two, if your child is a girl, before you think of a name, pick up a hairbrush/remote control and say the following:  "Gentleman, please welcome to the main stage the lovely ________."  If the name works in that sentence, don't give it to her.  Three, please remember that some children are complete assholes and will feel no compunction over beating your kid senseless because you wanted to be creative.  Sure, Schlomo might be a family name, but if you give it to your son, you're guaranteeing him at least two ass-kickings a week from other students.
 
2014-04-22 10:12:57 AM  
Zuul.
 
2014-04-22 10:13:54 AM  
Huffpo's auto-start videos, replete with nasal inflections, are starting to annoy me.
 
2014-04-22 10:14:35 AM  
Shiathead
 
2014-04-22 10:14:57 AM  
I would have gone for Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm.
 
2014-04-22 10:15:58 AM  
Based on the headline, I was expecting the name to be Cock.
 
2014-04-22 10:15:59 AM  

blatz514: Shiathead


It's pronounced "shi-TEED."
 
2014-04-22 10:16:00 AM  

Sybarite: "Cthulhu" - the tentacle-faced monster of South Park and science-fiction fame.

The author of this article will be eaten last.


Glad this was addressed before anything else.  it was very disappointing.
 
2014-04-22 10:16:50 AM  
I'm rather disappointed that they didn't go for "Future Poledancer" like I suggested.
 
2014-04-22 10:16:53 AM  

MooseBayou: Seven.


vinylthriftchaser.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-22 10:17:29 AM  

Psychopusher: blatz514: Shiathead

It's pronounced "shi-TEED."


It's pronounced "ozz-WEE-pay"
 
2014-04-22 10:17:59 AM  
Scratch-Fury, Destroyer of Worlds.
 
2014-04-22 10:19:24 AM  
La-a
 
2014-04-22 10:20:04 AM  

DoBeDoBeDo: As a baby name, it's funny.

As an older child's name?   You're just asking for trouble.

Same goes with naming your child anything that famous people do.  Apple, Banana, Sparkle Star or whatever will just come back to haunt them.


I actually know a gal named Apple...respected doctor, actually.  But that aside, I tend to agree with you.
 
2014-04-22 10:20:21 AM  

Coco LaFemme:  Three, please remember that some children are complete assholes and will feel no compunction over beating your kid senseless because you wanted to be creative.  Sure, Schlomo might be a family name, but if you give it to your son, you're guaranteeing him at least two ass-kickings a week from other students.



I actually knew a kid in grade school (in the early 1970s) called Schlomo.


He got beat up a lot.
 
2014-04-22 10:22:02 AM  
Fury Asskick McBonerfark.


That's what I'd go with
 
2014-04-22 10:23:14 AM  
Btw, for those of you curious about the skank on the right hand side of the site, she cleans up ok.

NSFW
 
2014-04-22 10:23:35 AM  

Coco LaFemme: I know it's an oft-repeated thing, but when naming your child, you must take several things into account.  One, is it easily spelled and/or pronounced?  If an HR person can't spell it or say it, they're chucking your kid's resume into the trash.  Two, if your child is a girl, before you think of a name, pick up a hairbrush/remote control and say the following:  "Gentleman, please welcome to the main stage the lovely ________."  If the name works in that sentence, don't give it to her.  Three, please remember that some children are complete assholes and will feel no compunction over beating your kid senseless because you wanted to be creative.  Sure, Schlomo might be a family name, but if you give it to your son, you're guaranteeing him at least two ass-kickings a week from other students.


I always picture what it would look like on a business card:

Cthulhu All-Spark McLaughlin
President and CEO
Consolidated Fuzz, Inc.
 
2014-04-22 10:24:24 AM  
i1.ytimg.com

"My name is Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III . Don't hesitate to call."
 
2014-04-22 10:25:04 AM  
If I have a son, He will be named Zarathustra Moneybags McHorsecock.  A daughter, Jennifer Daphne.
 
2014-04-22 10:25:42 AM  
True story... When deciding baby names we went with various combinations of family names. For a girl, we liked Mary Alice-- a combination of my grandmothers' first names.

For a boy, it was trickier. My grandfather's name is Onas Sumter. Ferris. My other grandfather's name is Ferris. Nope. We worked our way down to our parents at that point. We liked my dad's middle name, Wade, and my mother-in-law's family name of Wilson, and gosh darn it... Wade Wilson just had a really good ring to it.

One of our comic book junkie friends later pointed out exactly how awesome naming our kid Wade Wilson was.
 
2014-04-22 10:25:54 AM  

Sybarite: "Cthulhu" - the tentacle-faced monster of South Park and science-fiction fame.

The author of this article will be eaten last.


You've won the internet.
 
2014-04-22 10:26:26 AM  
Huh. So much about the writing style of this article bothers me. Like an itch. Starting with the Southpark reference and basically moving on from there....
 
2014-04-22 10:26:56 AM  
So, they set up a website, got at least 150,000 visits with a nice ad right at the top and some sort of bitcoin donation link. Then they say, "Thanks for the easy money, chumps"?
 
2014-04-22 10:26:56 AM  

TheShavingofOccam123: All-Spark? Sounds too Secret MuslinTM to me. How about Allsorts?



You were a brave and kind leader but it is time for you to become one with the AllSpark.  You will be missed, Optimus Prime.
fc07.deviantart.net
 
2014-04-22 10:28:10 AM  

blatz514: Btw, for those of you curious about the skank on the right hand side of the site, she cleans up ok.

NSFW


So you say....

/bleh
 
2014-04-22 10:28:15 AM  
I'm Betty Humpter, pleased to meet you.
Phil McCrevis, at your service.
Dick Fitzwell, Nobel prize laureate.
The name's Pat McGroin laddy.
Jenna Talia, "personal trainer"

But I digress.
 
2014-04-22 10:30:18 AM  

TheWhoppah: TheShavingofOccam123: All-Spark? Sounds too Secret MuslinTM to me. How about Allsorts?


You were a brave and kind leader but it is time for you to become one with the AllSpark.  You will be missed, Optimus Prime.
[fc07.deviantart.net image 686x386]


Thanks for the explanation. I didn't grow up on Transformers.
 
2014-04-22 10:31:11 AM  

Mad Scientist: blatz514: Btw, for those of you curious about the skank on the right hand side of the site, she cleans up ok.

NSFW

So you say....

/bleh


I was sorta joking...Sorta
 
2014-04-22 10:32:25 AM  
Brock Leigh
 
Displayed 50 of 129 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report