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(Newser)   FBI warns Americans studying abroad not to embark on a life of espionage and international intrigue, because that is totally a thing you can apparently do, but shouldn't   (newser.com) divider line 60
    More: Interesting, FBI, Americans, spies, Olds, Iowa, studying abroad, Grand Valley State University, Chinese-American, American relations  
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3947 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Apr 2014 at 5:52 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-21 04:05:09 PM
I studied lots a broads in college.
 
2014-04-21 04:13:59 PM
Unintended consequences: 280,000 kids studying abroad suddenly realize, "Holy shiat! I can get paid to do this, instead of stabbing colleagues in the back at unpaid internships for shiat jobs that will never materialize? Sign me up, China!"
 
2014-04-21 04:19:35 PM
Study abroad? No. I study 'em all.
 
2014-04-21 04:24:54 PM
I don't know man. We're in a society that completely puts an emphasis on money over morality. If you remember that shady lawyer working for Iran from Season 3.

d.ibtimes.co.uk

That dude, for example is rolling in it.

What I'm trying to say is that if wall street insiders can get away with massive theft why shouldn't young sociopaths do it? As long as it's legal (i.e. you'd be rich enough to get out of it) even if it's immoral.

So the bottom line is that if the CIA or whomever want to clean this up -we should more importantly clean up Wall street and K-street first.

But then, nobody will listen to the voice of reason.
 
2014-04-21 05:30:26 PM
If they studied hard and were good at it, how would the FBI know?
 
2014-04-21 05:46:33 PM
www.cedmagic.com

Worked out ok for Anthony Edwards.
 
2014-04-21 05:49:26 PM

Uzzah: [www.cedmagic.com image 425x475]

Worked out ok for Anthony Edwards.


Came to post this myself.
 
2014-04-21 05:54:00 PM
So is there an...instructional manual on what *not* to do while embarking on a life of espionage?

Maybe a catalog to order supplies from?
 
2014-04-21 05:57:31 PM
s1.favim.com
 
2014-04-21 05:57:59 PM
Is Newser like The Onion?
 
2014-04-21 06:02:43 PM
But I'm majoring in Intrigue!
 
2014-04-21 06:06:27 PM
They could have just e-mailed every student studying abroad a single line:


Snitches get stitches.
 
2014-04-21 06:08:08 PM
Hail Hydra?
 
2014-04-21 06:09:01 PM

Capo Del Bandito: So is there an...instructional manual on what *not* to do while embarking on a life of espionage?

Maybe a catalog to order supplies from?


If I'm understanding the video correctly, the best thing *not* to do is trust your idiot Chinese handlers who were being monitored by the CIA the whole time they courted you.
 
2014-04-21 06:12:16 PM
Totally. Just stay in school, go a half a million in debt for your college degrees, then enter the job market at $8 an hour.

AND BE GRATEFUL YOU ARE AN AMERICAN, PROUD TO WORK FOR PLUNGING WAGES AND BENEFITS WHILE A HANDFUL OF AMERICANS OWN AMERICA.
 
2014-04-21 06:15:10 PM
Wow, sure wish this had been around when I was in college.

I had mixed reservations about whether or not to commit treason by providing sensitive information to a foreign soverreign nation after returning from studying abroad and I'm pretty sure a 20 minute "Saved By the Bell"-esque clip could have made all the difference.
 
2014-04-21 06:19:31 PM
...

....


Well crud. My bad.
 
2014-04-21 06:21:46 PM

Uzzah: [www.cedmagic.com image 425x475]

Worked out ok for Anthony Edwards.


Let's have a debate!
Resolved: Linda Fiorentino is the best fake undercover CIA officer ever.
 
2014-04-21 06:22:00 PM
I'll NEVER give up my secret booth-mopping technique!
 
2014-04-21 06:25:27 PM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-04-21 06:29:12 PM

Uzzah: [www.cedmagic.com image 425x475]

Worked out ok for Anthony Edwards.


ITT: Wergins
 
2014-04-21 06:33:12 PM
"young man, would you like to become a jet-setting international playboy?"

"why yes, yes I would"
 
2014-04-21 06:36:51 PM
Um, wait. Wouldn't it be the CIA's job to warn people about this?
 
2014-04-21 06:37:08 PM
RAAAAAAMMMMMMPPPPPAAAAAAAAGEEEEEE!
 
2014-04-21 06:43:26 PM

Deathray187: RAAAAAAMMMMMMPPPPPAAAAAAAAGEEEEEE!


I call it, "Terms of Enrampagement". It's a working title.
 
2014-04-21 06:44:46 PM
Skinink: Winter Farker.
 
2014-04-21 06:50:45 PM
Everything I learned about spies I learned from Sterling Archer.

media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2014-04-21 06:57:49 PM
Risque business and international fatigue still allowed
 
2014-04-21 06:58:18 PM
One wonders what the CIA would think of someone who exchanged false, CIA-approved, info to the Chinese for money.  That could be a win-win.

There was a guy in WWII who wanted to spy for the Allies.  The Allies were all "Yeah, we already have people who do that.  Keep calm, and try to think of another way to help next time."  So instead he went to the Axis as was like 'So let's say I'm running a ring of spies in Britain.  Because that's totally what I'm doing.  Yup.  Would you be interested in my info?"

Falling for this, the Axis were like, 'A free ring of spies?  What could possibly go wrong!'  (But in German).  So the guy starts feeding them bad intel, heads back to the Allies, and says, essentially, "I have the Germana buying everything me and my imaginary friends are selling.  NOW can I work for you guys?"

It was one of those truly epic WWII stories.  I think one of his imaginary agents got an obit in a German paper and the guy even got a payout for his poor, imaginary wife.

Code name Garbo.  Thanks, Google!  Could remember the name; that was gonna bother me.
 
2014-04-21 06:59:02 PM
*couldn't; not could
 
2014-04-21 07:08:03 PM

gaslight: Um, wait. Wouldn't it be the CIA's job to warn people about this?


No. FBI is responsible for counterintelligence inside the US.
 
2014-04-21 07:09:26 PM

Uzzah: Worked out ok for Anthony Edwards.


This. Also, what if you want to go to school to be a tinker or tailor?
 
2014-04-21 07:25:07 PM
What you do is lead the Chinese or other foreign agents on bilk as much money as you can from them and when you show up for the CIA interview you be completely up front with them and get a job as a double agent.
 
2014-04-21 07:28:41 PM
They should lower the cost of college education. Could be less tempting.
 
2014-04-21 07:31:56 PM
They've given you a number and taken away your name
 
2014-04-21 07:34:28 PM
It's all about which country makes the best offer, isn't it? It would be illogical, indeed anti-capitalist, to give your loyalty to a low bidder.
 
2014-04-21 07:41:23 PM
ts2.mm.bing.net  And be sure to check out those "Peace Corps" recruiters.
 
2014-04-21 07:48:13 PM
I spent a year as an exchange student in England.  The only intel I gathered was that the English put corn on their pizza.
 
2014-04-21 07:49:48 PM

Xythero: I spent a year as an exchange student in England.  The only intel I gathered was that the English put corn on their pizza.


Like, on the cob? Weird.
 
2014-04-21 08:09:00 PM

Xythero: I spent a year as an exchange student in England.  The only intel I gathered was that the English put corn on their pizza.


So that's where the Japanese got that idea from... Now, I just wonder where the fried egg on pizza idea came from.
 
2014-04-21 08:13:20 PM

Xythero: I spent a year as an exchange student in England.  The only intel I gathered was that the English put corn on their pizza.


... but not butter on popcorn?

Maybe they do now, but when I studied abroad you couldn't get butter on your movie popcorn.  It seemed so sad, like the kernels were thinking about all the delicious, probably cancer causing, butter they could've been swimming in if only they'd been popped in the US.
 
2014-04-21 08:15:23 PM

Nem Wan: It's all about which country makes the best offer, isn't it? It would be illogical, indeed anti-capitalist, to give your loyalty to a low bidder.


You also have to consider your likelihood of being caught, and eventually shot.

It's a balancing test.
 
2014-04-21 08:19:59 PM

Kujira: Xythero: I spent a year as an exchange student in England.  The only intel I gathered was that the English put corn on their pizza.

So that's where the Japanese got that idea from... Now, I just wonder where the fried egg on pizza idea came from.


I don't know if it started with him, but I remember seeing Wolfgang Puck prepare a "breakfast pizza" on a cooking show several years ago.  I believe it was topped with scrambled eggs and salmon.
 
2014-04-21 08:40:57 PM

Kujira: So that's where the Japanese got that idea from... Now, I just wonder where the fried egg on pizza idea came from.


Fried egg is good, but try cracking a raw egg onto a pizza (and smear it around a little) just before putting it in the oven. Tried that in Ecuador. It soaks into the cheese and sauce a bit before it cooks up, and it's awesome.
 
2014-04-21 08:51:23 PM

dittybopper: Nem Wan: It's all about which country makes the best offer, isn't it? It would be illogical, indeed anti-capitalist, to give your loyalty to a low bidder.

You also have to consider your likelihood of being caught, and eventually shot.

It's a balancing test.


Four years in prison. I watched the video.

Who knows how much taxpayer money spent to get some schmuck that didn't even reveal any secrets, only conspired to possibly do so at sone point maybe.

"We've gad our eye on you for some time."

Why? Who cares, other that you asshats?

Terrible video, terrible story.
 
2014-04-21 08:59:52 PM
When I was teaching abroad, I'm fairly certain that I got heavily investigated to make sure I wasn't CIA before I was given a visa. Which was probably smart because without even trying I learned things about that country's foreign policy that would be useful to other States.

/Taught at a foreign diplomatic school
//Some of my students are now spies
///Doubt I could get a US government security clearance with the people I know
 
2014-04-21 09:20:49 PM

big pig peaches: What you do is lead the Chinese or other foreign agents on bilk as much money as you can from them and when you show up for the CIA interview you be completely up front with them and get a job as a double agent.


Pretty sure the CIA only granted him an interview because they already knew who he was and what he was doing.
In other news, the CIA and FBI actually communicate. Wasn't sure how long that would last.
 
2014-04-21 09:26:01 PM
So, if I just sleep with foreign chicks and don't get all pillow-talky, I'm cool?
 
2014-04-21 10:22:00 PM

K.B.O. Winston: One wonders what the CIA would think of someone who exchanged false, CIA-approved, info to the Chinese for money.  That could be a win-win.


Except for the poor guy who operates the scheme in the first place. When he gets made, the Chinese are going to superkill that guy.
 
2014-04-21 11:03:23 PM
i291.photobucket.com


Would I have to kill anyone?..........................................................Would you like to?
 
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