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(Newser)   Now proven by science: Guys can't do sexy voices   (newser.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, fake orgasm  
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3557 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Apr 2014 at 5:39 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



106 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-21 04:33:13 PM  
How you doin'?
 
2014-04-21 04:38:22 PM  
static.tvtropes.org

Stay sexy, my friends.
 
2014-04-21 04:47:01 PM  
 
2014-04-21 04:57:18 PM  
Just listen to my deep Trombone.

errr Baritone.
 
2014-04-21 05:13:16 PM  
Speak for yourself, Science ...
 
2014-04-21 05:24:19 PM  
Hello, sailor.
 
2014-04-21 05:30:07 PM  
Barry White has been disproven by science?
 
2014-04-21 05:39:58 PM  
My wife gets wet whenever she hears Alan Rickman speak.  She also thinks Peter Dinklage has a great voice.
 
2014-04-21 05:40:57 PM  
British accent. All it takes.
 
2014-04-21 05:42:47 PM  
So Barry White and Tom Jones don't sound sexy?
 
2014-04-21 05:43:13 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Sure they can.


Oh hell yea.
 
2014-04-21 05:43:59 PM  
Good news everyone: Guys can't do sexy voices
 
2014-04-21 05:44:28 PM  
Rock the lisp.
 
2014-04-21 05:44:37 PM  
Science is wrong on this one. Sexy is quite subjective.
 
2014-04-21 05:45:19 PM  
On a related note, can someone explain the marketing logic of having GoDaddy commercials with Jean-Claude Van Damme, sounding like someone with stage 4 throat cancer?
 
2014-04-21 05:45:32 PM  
It's all about that thick rolling confidence with that hard and firm voice....that.......that.....

........that.......

Wow, it got hot in here.
 
2014-04-21 05:45:33 PM  
A couple of you seem to be confused, men can totally HAVE sexy voice, but nobody can do that weird bedroom voice right
 
2014-04-21 05:48:31 PM  
Titty sprinkles.
 
2014-04-21 05:48:56 PM  
Heeeey, Baby...

How's that?

Wait, let me try again,

Heeeey, Baby, want to help me count my millions of dollars?
 
2014-04-21 05:48:58 PM  
Barry White would like to have a word with the researchers.
 
2014-04-21 05:51:06 PM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: On a related note, can someone explain the marketing logic of having GoDaddy commercials with Jean-Claude Van Damme, sounding like someone with stage 4 throat cancer?


Cancer is sexy.
 
2014-04-21 05:51:08 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Marcus Aurelius: Sure they can.

Oh hell yea.


I'm too sexy...
 
2014-04-21 05:51:40 PM  
Alan Rickman reading Sonnet 130 begs to differ.

You will be moist.
 
2014-04-21 05:53:29 PM  
Dear Ladies,

You CAN do sexy voice, but vocal fry is NOT sexy voice. It's "this is what a vapid twatwaffle thinks sexy voice is"
 
2014-04-21 05:53:33 PM  

blazemongr: British accent. All it takes.


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-04-21 05:53:58 PM  
themiserablesblog.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-21 05:55:53 PM  
We're not supposed to do sexy voices, biologically. We're supposed to have a voice that will make our enemies tremble with fear, even if it's saying "Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart..."
 
2014-04-21 05:56:23 PM  
I have a sexy voice.  I wish you could hear me typing this.
 
2014-04-21 05:59:03 PM  

Gulper Eel: Alan Rickman reading Sonnet 130 begs to differ.

You will be moist.


heahea.org

Moist is a funny word.  Say it about ten times, and it becomes a meaningless syllable.
 
2014-04-21 06:01:14 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: tinfoil-hat maggie: Marcus Aurelius: Sure they can.

Oh hell yea.

I'm too sexy...


Sorry, never thought his voice was sexy and sorta hate that song, IDK why?
 
2014-04-21 06:08:34 PM  
"Guys can't make their voices more sexy."
 
2014-04-21 06:09:05 PM  
So who needs a voice anyway?

i92.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-21 06:09:44 PM  
ts2.mm.bing.net

/   A little surprised at how far down the GIS the first Fernando Martin (GTA) pic was.
 
2014-04-21 06:11:08 PM  
Also...

ts4.mm.bing.net
 
2014-04-21 06:15:16 PM  
Lots of farkers here failing to recognize the distinction between having a sexy voice and doing a sexy voice.  Which is to say, if you don't sound like Barry White all the time, then you're not doing yourself any favors trying to sound like Barry White some of the time.  So stop that.
 
2014-04-21 06:19:13 PM  
Alan Rickman would beg to differ.
 
2014-04-21 06:21:07 PM  
The fark they can't. I've known several guys who could do very sexy voices.
 
2014-04-21 06:21:17 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-21 06:21:30 PM  
i1048.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-21 06:24:29 PM  
When a guy is in love, his voice changes. And it can get quite sexy. Woman pick it up right away.
 
2014-04-21 06:30:32 PM  

zarker: A couple of you seem to be confused, men can totally HAVE sexy voice, but nobody can do that weird bedroom voice right


The word you are looking for is "sultry".  Men absolutely cannot do a "sultry" voice.  We also can't do "come hither" looks either.

Men, however, can do "passionate" voices and "intense" looks fairly well.
 
2014-04-21 06:34:35 PM  

Gulper Eel: Alan Rickman reading Sonnet 130 begs to differ.

You will be moist.


I see and raise you this celebrity reading from 50 Shades of Grey.
 
2014-04-21 06:40:11 PM  
They said the subjects were asked to try and sound sexy. To me, that sounds like the subjects did what they thought would sound sexy, and were just 100% off the mark and deluded in thinking that what they were doing was sexy.

If there was no such thing as a sexy voice, I doubt Benedict Cumberbatch would have the intense female following he does.  I mean, yes, he's by all accounts a great great actor and a great guy and a sense of humor about himself.  But, as someone on Fark put it, he "sounds like a panther trapped in a cello."  The man has a voice that could melt butter.

They certainly aren't going after his looks, which are curious at best.
 
2014-04-21 06:46:09 PM  
Oh, also, Edward James Olmos and Mike Rowe. I'm a man, but I could listen to either of those men read a Chinese food menu and be entranced.
 
2014-04-21 06:47:32 PM  
Can't forget:

img.fark.net

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

Chicks totally dig it when he says "I'm a full blown rapist"!

Oh and another sexy male voice that drives the ladies wild:

31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-04-21 06:50:35 PM  
Barry laughs at your results.
 
2014-04-21 06:57:43 PM  
I dunno... Stephen Hawkings voice is kinda hot.
 
2014-04-21 07:00:18 PM  
Two words: "chest cold"

Well, as long as you're not at the "coughing up phlegm" stage, that is. That's a bit of a deal breaker.
 
2014-04-21 07:00:40 PM  
Lies you have obviously never heard my porn voice.
 
2014-04-21 07:04:45 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Marcus Aurelius: Sure they can.

Oh hell yea.


sploosh!
 
2014-04-21 07:10:48 PM  

uttertosh: I dunno... Stephen Hawkings voice is kinda hot.


Only if you are referring to an overheating hard drive.

www.billrotelladrumbeatings.com
 
2014-04-21 07:11:12 PM  
They've never listened to Japanese voice actors on drama CDs...
 
2014-04-21 07:17:10 PM  
Not really sexy, but Kitchen Nightmares in German can be amusing.
"Das ist scheisse!"
 
2014-04-21 07:19:05 PM  
Sure men can do sexy voices. Its not how they say it, its what they say.
 
2014-04-21 07:23:02 PM  

maltedmothball: tinfoil-hat maggie: Marcus Aurelius: Sure they can.

Oh hell yea.

sploosh!


Which reminds me H. Jon Benjamin has kind of a sexy voice. You know, for a non-British guy.
 
2014-04-21 07:25:30 PM  
Why would they want to sound like a dumb, blond bimbo?  It doesn't work going to the other way because it doesn't need to.  This is studied out.
 
2014-04-21 07:26:17 PM  

Trail of Dead: Dear Ladies,

You CAN do sexy voice, but vocal fry is NOT sexy voice. It's "this is what a vapid twatwaffle thinks sexy voice is"


Oh jeebus, this. When will the vocal fry thing end? Even the young men are doing it now!
 
2014-04-21 07:29:57 PM  
I can, but it only works on gay men.
 
2014-04-21 07:34:21 PM  
Sean Bean laughs at such silliness.Seriously,who doesn't know a man with a sexy voice?
 
2014-04-21 07:39:16 PM  
www.wwe.com
 
2014-04-21 07:39:47 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Marcus Aurelius: Sure they can.

Oh hell yea.


Sure can. Have had a few make my knees buckle.
 
2014-04-21 07:40:33 PM  
If this is true, then why does my wife slide right off the bar stool every time she hears Sam Elliott's voice?
 
2014-04-21 07:43:02 PM  

zarker: A couple of you seem to be confused, men can totally HAVE sexy voice, but nobody can do that weird bedroom voice right



What part of nodding your head towards the bedroom requires a voice?
 
2014-04-21 07:44:25 PM  
Benedict Cumberbatch's voice + Weatherkiss =

 i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-04-21 07:47:41 PM  

catusr: My wife gets wet whenever she hears Alan Rickman speak.  She also thinks Peter Dinklage has a great voice.


Your wife is correct. .fell for alan rickman after seeing sense and sensibility. ..and then there is tom hiddleston. Wowza
 
2014-04-21 08:00:42 PM  

Rezurok: Lots of farkers here failing to recognize the distinction between having a sexy voice and doing a sexy voice.  Which is to say, if you don't sound like Barry White all the time, then you're not doing yourself any favors trying to sound like Barry White some of the time.  So stop that.


Nah, our definition of doing a sexy voice is just broader than Barry White.

No pun intended.
 
2014-04-21 08:03:43 PM  
Fark off science.

I can make women wet just by talking to them.
 
2014-04-21 08:08:56 PM  

puddleonfire: Fark off science.

I can make women wet just by talking to them.



But enough about your speech impediment, Sylvester.
 
2014-04-21 08:09:03 PM  
i141.photobucket.com

Severe slippage, fark.
 
2014-04-21 08:10:21 PM  

lindalouwho: tinfoil-hat maggie: Marcus Aurelius: Sure they can.

Oh hell yea.

Sure can. Have had a few make my knees buckle.


Indeed.
 
2014-04-21 08:11:50 PM  
This directly contradicts the scientifically-proven fact that Keith David can cause orgasms just by reading the phone book.
 
2014-04-21 08:16:24 PM  

What_do_you_want_now: It's all about that thick rolling confidence with that hard and firm voice....that.......that.....

........that.......

Wow, it got hot in here.


That tells me what he wants and how he's going to come over here and take it.

/Yea it did
//Accents are great too
 
2014-04-21 08:17:24 PM  

DrBenway: Two words: "chest cold"

Well, as long as you're not at the "coughing up phlegm" stage, that is. That's a bit of a deal breaker.


When I have a chest cold I can growl the blues with the best of "em.

Otherwise, I don't even sing in the shower cause it makes the water stop running.
 
2014-04-21 08:41:13 PM  
I do an awesome imitation of Curly from the Three Stooges. It's coitenly got me some free food at restaurants. But it just doesn't hoover the babes. Why? I tried to think, but nothin happens!
 
2014-04-21 09:00:44 PM  
yougonnagitrapedmeme.jpg

Now that is sexy talk.
 
2014-04-21 09:30:40 PM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: I do an awesome imitation of Curly from the Three Stooges. It's coitenly got me some free food at restaurants. But it just doesn't hoover the babes. Why? I tried to think, but nothin happens!


Well, see... There's your problem, knucklehead. You're doing Curly, when you should be doing Larry. Everyone knows he was the fella who got all the prime trim.
 
2014-04-21 09:38:04 PM  
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty . . .
 
2014-04-21 09:43:08 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Darth_Lukecash: tinfoil-hat maggie: Marcus Aurelius: Sure they can.

Oh hell yea.

I'm too sexy...

Sorry, never thought his voice was sexy and sorta hate that song, IDK why?


I always thought it was a campy song, with the lyrics, singer and video lampooning the model culture.

So I was attempting to be humorously ironic. I have failed and now I must ritualistically end my life in an ornate fashion.
 
2014-04-21 09:43:13 PM  
Fortunately science proves nothing. I'll second the Keith David thing.
 
2014-04-21 09:51:32 PM  
Clearly, theyve never heard my co host on Aural Stimulation
 
2014-04-21 10:02:20 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: tinfoil-hat maggie: Darth_Lukecash: tinfoil-hat maggie: Marcus Aurelius: Sure they can.

Oh hell yea.

I'm too sexy...

Sorry, never thought his voice was sexy and sorta hate that song, IDK why?

I always thought it was a campy song, with the lyrics, singer and video lampooning the model culture.

So I was attempting to be humorously ironic. I have failed and now I must ritualistically end my life in an ornate fashion.


Naw, you're okay and I do believe correct.
 
2014-04-21 10:05:49 PM  
Tom Hiddleston. Mads Mikkelson. Jensen Ackles.

/Hiddles turns me into a 13 year old
 
2014-04-21 10:21:11 PM  

jamiekate: catusr: My wife gets wet whenever she hears Alan Rickman speak.  She also thinks Peter Dinklage has a great voice.

Your wife is correct. .fell for alan rickman after seeing sense and sensibility. ..and then there is tom hiddleston. Wowza


Hell yes. There's something great about Rickman's sound, even though he's usually got deadpan roles. And Hiddleston? Oh my Loki...


Shadowknight: If there was no such thing as a sexy voice, I doubt Benedict Cumberbatch would have the intense female following he does.  I mean, yes, he's by all accounts a great great actor and a great guy and a sense of humor about himself.  But, as someone on Fark put it, he "sounds like a panther trapped in a cello."  The man has a voice that could melt butter.


Stealing that line so very much. I got a kick out of his work as Sherlock, loved with what he did with Khan in the most recent Star Trek movie (even though the film itself was "meh,") and I really need to rent the second Hobbit film because I am looking forward to what he brings as Smaug.
 
2014-04-21 10:39:23 PM  
Stupid "study". Likely not a decent, peer reviewed study. No information for us to decide from the data and evidence.

All I can say is, the conclusion is total horse poop. It's entirely easy for guys to do "sexy voices". Sure, if a man is doing a parody of or mimicking a woman doing a sexy voice, then yeah, that's hilarious but not sexy at all. Do these "scientists" take into account potential gender biases? Have they controlled for libido?

Sorry, I don't know why I'm even bothering. I already know the answer. I should start making a living by releasing stupid and unfounded satirical scientific studies. There must be a ton of money in it. Actually, I just finished an exhaustive meta-study regarding the financial incentives inherent to the satirical scientific study business, and I've concluded that in 94% of non peer reviewed scientific studies, there was in fact only 48lbs of money involved. Far from tons, but perhaps still incentive enough to continue the practice? Yes.
 
2014-04-21 10:48:07 PM  

lindalouwho: DrBenway: Two words: "chest cold"

Well, as long as you're not at the "coughing up phlegm" stage, that is. That's a bit of a deal breaker.

When I have a chest cold I can growl the blues with the best of "em.

Otherwise, I don't even sing in the shower cause it makes the water stop running.


My voice drops an octave or two. Great time to record a new incoming voicemail message, among other things. Come to think of it, I've recorded other people's incoming messages for them that way. And voice samples.
 
2014-04-21 10:50:21 PM  
Fraaan. Obscure?
 
2014-04-21 11:14:20 PM  

uttertosh: I dunno... Stephen Hawkings voice is kinda hot.


As has been pointed out it's all about the British accent.
 
2014-04-21 11:32:07 PM  
on the contrary, my ex said I had one of the sexiest voices she's ever heard.  If only the body matched the deep baritone voice...

/ouch
//skinny white guy
///the double-take some people do when they see me vs. hear me is funny
 
2014-04-22 01:27:38 AM  

stringbad: Fraaan. Obscure?


Diiiiihhrrrty!
 
2014-04-22 01:44:32 AM  

Trance354: on the contrary, my ex said I had one of the sexiest voices she's ever heard.  If only the body matched the deep baritone voice...

/ouch
//skinny white guy
///the double-take some people do when they see me vs. hear me is funny


Are you this guy? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
 
2014-04-22 06:25:35 AM  
The E-Trade baby. Not saying the E-Trade baby is sexy, but an adult man does the E-Trade baby's voice, and that guy sounds totally sexy!
 
2014-04-22 07:12:10 AM  

fusillade762: uttertosh: I dunno... Stephen Hawkings voice is kinda hot.

As has been pointed out it's all about the British accent.


BS. Lance Henriksen has one of the sultry voices ever.

( seriously, we yanks need to get over our inferiority complex when it comes to comparing with the British.)

( but Tom Hiddleston still explodes ovaries like the Walls of Jericho. Your move, Bishop. )
 
2014-04-22 07:41:52 AM  
cps-static.rovicorp.com
 
2014-04-22 07:55:40 AM  

Duck_of_Doom: Trance354: on the contrary, my ex said I had one of the sexiest voices she's ever heard.  If only the body matched the deep baritone voice...

/ouch
//skinny white guy
///the double-take some people do when they see me vs. hear me is funny

Are you this guy? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ


I was hoping for a Rickroll there. Nicely played.
 
2014-04-22 09:41:43 AM  
http://youtu.be/ypdoeLvXvbs

I'd like to submit the sexy latin tones of Antonio Banderas.

\No homo
...
\\Maybe a little bit homo
 
2014-04-22 11:31:36 AM  
Subby: Men can't make sexy voices.

Study: Women don't find the lower breathy voice that men like attractive, they like men who sound confident.

Reading comprehension, it's a wonderful thing.
 
2014-04-22 12:01:59 PM  
I asked the nearest woman, who told me...

img.fark.net
img.fark.net
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-22 12:52:26 PM  
I don't need a "Chest Cold" to drop my voice to a smooooth rumble, I just have great range. And I love freaking out people with the discrepancy between the rumble and my normal talking voice. That being said, why has this thread seen no mention of Antonio Banderas?
 
2014-04-22 02:14:55 PM  

washington-babylon: I don't need a "Chest Cold" to drop my voice to a smooooth rumble, I just have great range. And I love freaking out people with the discrepancy between the rumble and my normal talking voice. That being said, why has this thread seen no mention of Antonio Banderas?


Like the one just 3 comments up from yours? Like that one?
 
2014-04-22 02:37:50 PM  

DrBenway: washington-babylon: I don't need a "Chest Cold" to drop my voice to a smooooth rumble, I just have great range. And I love freaking out people with the discrepancy between the rumble and my normal talking voice. That being said, why has this thread seen no mention of Antonio Banderas?

Like the one just 3 comments up from yours? Like that one?


Damn, waited too long to submit. And only one mention that late in the thread is ALMOST as bad as no mentions at all. So at least I helped correct that.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2014-04-22 03:24:25 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: Gulper Eel: Alan Rickman reading Sonnet 130 begs to differ.

You will be moist.

I see and raise you this celebrity reading from 50 Shades of Grey.


Well the material being read I'm sure has something to do with it; try reading a 60 year old bachelor's grocery list.
 
2014-04-22 04:19:37 PM  
Danny Trejo. Don't judge me.
 
2014-04-22 04:33:01 PM  

MooseUpNorth: Danny Trejo. Don't judge me.


The very first thing I saw Danny Trejo in was "Bubble Boy."  That movie was way better than it should have been.

You have to cut the vato...
 
2014-04-22 04:50:35 PM  
Mrs. Eel just looked over my shoulder at TFA and said the words "Liam Neeson".

Okay then.
 
2014-04-22 08:28:29 PM  
George Takei has a sexy voice.
 
2014-04-22 11:09:36 PM  

Frederick: George Takei has a sexy voice.


img.pandawhale.com
 
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